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[color=red][sub][i]Location | The Crow’s Nest
Time | February 25[sup]th[/sup] - Early Morning
Collaboration | Erik [@FunnyGuy][/i][/sub][hr][/color]
The morning air was cold; the coldest he’d felt since his awakening long ago. His coat, and even his mask for once in ages, had not covered his skin while outside. However, the Sword cared little about those things in this moment, planted out in front of the entrance with his eyes on the distant horizon. He had watched until the figure of what he had been watching had vanished from sight and for even longer. 

The weight of worry tugged on him and had pulled him out here. The weight of a guilty heart bore down on him though, and was what stuck him in place. He was sure that she left early, before the sun would rise, in an attempt to reduce the heartache of a more formal goodbye. Though, as the shimmer of the sun began to peek through the darkness, Ajax’s head bowed and his fists clenched.

[color=gold]“It’s different this time, huh?”[/color] Though Ajax recognised this to be Erik’s voice, it lacked its chipper tone. The quiet footsteps stopped beside, with their owner taking in the breaking dawn. Erik need not look to Ajax to empathize. Instead all he needed was to see what he saw. And to recall the feeling that had struck him years ago. A feeling that was a concoction of guilt, regret, and loathing all swirled in a deep pit. A pit in one’s gut that felt empty, yet full of the worst things simultaneously. The two had seen a few members come and go. A few from far worse circumstances than this, but Cerise’s departure was different. It wasn’t the length of time, but the quality of it. [color=gold]“Because you’re blaming yourself.”[/color] Erik’s eyes finally searched for his. He never knew Ajax to lie to him but Erik wondered if his closest and most honest friend would lie to himself.  

[color=red]”…It…feels like I’ve lost her twice.”[/color] Aj commented, frankly not feeling the need to answer the question. Being a revenant, the expression ‘deja vu’ was the story of their lives until they’ve gotten their vestiges. Being ‘alive’ as long as he’d been, with all the memories he’d ‘found’, it had never quite felt this bad. The fact that it felt like the second time made him wonder about the little girl in his memory. Despite knowing that Erik would understand, Aj couldn’t quite lift his head to look him square in the eye. 

[color=red]”…It [i]is[/i] my fault, and I am not saying this in a downward spiral of emotion…I finally pushed her too hard.”[/color] His shoulders slowly rose and fell in the brief seconds he took to push the next words out to explain further. [color=red]”I let [i]my[/i] mission, [i]my[/i] need to find the past, cloud my judgement. I knew her fears and concerns…yet, the one time that she probably needed my support the most, I was the one that pushed her into it. I became the very thing I was trying to protect her from.”[/color]

[color=gold]“Aj!”[/color] Erik had begun to shake his head. [color=gold]“You can’t put so much blame on yourself.”[/color] His volume leveled out to prevent possibly disturbing the others inside. The Crow's Nest was huge but revenants had the keenest of senses. [color=gold]“You can’t… Because you don’t [i]control[/i] things like some god or something. You were part of getting the vestige to her, but who says she wouldn’t have eventually wanted to know the truth behind her past.”[/color] Erik held his right hand out, forming the shape of a dormant vestige in his palm. 

[color=gold]“And don’t say you lost her… She’s alive…”[/color] Erik found himself thinking of Sasha. A revenant that had founded the Observatory… technically even before he had. A revenant that died so he could live. [color=gold]“And this was something Cerise decided… Using hindsight is only going to make you feel worse. No one, not even she knew what memories would be uncovered in that vestige. We never know…”[/color]

Ajax’s gaze was trained on the ground ahead. His mind still looped around the possibilities. It was true that he was no god that could make her every decision, but it didn’t take a god to push someone in the wrong direction…Though the notion of it being ultimately Red’s own decision and that there was no way of knowing the effects, lessened some of the weight on his shoulders. For that, his crimson eyes clicked upward from his head’s bowed position to look at Erik at his side.

[color=red]”Hindsight is what we need, Erik. Hindsight is what separates us from animals. We learn from our failures, to do better in the future. For us, revenants, it gets us closer to knowing who we were…”[/color] His fists unballed as the realization came to his mind. [i][color=red]Sometimes to…become better in the future…[/color][/i] There was a moment of silence, but Ajax sighed in frustration.

[color=red]”I won’t accept an escape route for my culpability in driving her out…but, I understand what you’re saying. I am in pain…but I will heal. I will learn from this…”[/color]

[color=gold]“We [I]all[/I] will.”[/color] Erik placed a hand on Ajax’s shoulder.  Despite Erik's leveled tone, the pain of loss was heavily present in his heart. His sights returned to the landscape ahead. [Color=gold][I]So many years behind us and it still feel like we have so many more ahead.[/I][/color]

Ajax slowly nodded, some of the tension in his shoulders easing under Erik’s hand. [color=red]“I’m going to get an early start on my conditioning…You coming?”[/color]

[Color=gold]“Heh. As if I'd ever decline”[/color]