The greatest song ever written begins to play. Immediately distinguishable. Totally and fully bad ass. Universally beloved. It catches your attention before your stupid idiot brain has even really processed the first note. That's how stupid you are and how ridiculously good this song is. You should probably pray to whatever Deity you believe in right the hell now and thank him or her, but realistically he, for allowing you to have working ears at a time and place that would allow you to bask in the Goddam Glory that is the intro song for Danger, Danger Fontaine. What's that you feel? Yeah that's right. The auditory part of your brain, the part that hears shit I mean, it just got pregnant. You're welcome. At an appropriate time Danger, Danger Fontaine slides out just as his song hits a high note. Not literally a high note, like not musically high like an alto or whatever, but at an opportune time where it makes his sudden appearance just a little bit more bad ass. Yeah that's right it can always get better. I know, I know, it is hard to believe. Anyway, dude slides out all cool like and does a little dance. It's both sexually arousing and also like platonically arousing at the same time. It lifts your spirits and other stuff too probably. Everyone is excited to see him. He's so cool. His grocery cart full of weapons, that is also the coolest grocery cart you have ever seen. Can you say what makes it so cool? No, no you probably can't, you moron, but wow it's so cool. Even that live lobster, confused as it appears, is impossibly cool. What a rad guy. "Cut the music! Cut the fucking music!" Danger, Danger Fontaine screams very cooly after reaching the ring. He poses in silence for a little while. Also in a very cool way. "Anyone out there think they can take me?" he asks the crowd. "Anyone out there think they can Match up to the Masked and Mustachioed Muscle Man of Mount Medulla? Now is your time! Step up peons!" He stomps around the ring, pointing into the crowd. Questioning various fans, both men and women, about their masculinity and the size of their genitalia and/or brains. It's pretty cool, he's a cool guy. "Hey!" he shouts as the ring begins to rumble. "Hey what the fuck is that?" The ring shakes hard, Making his Marbled Musculature and Magnificent Mustache Shake Seductively. Very cool. The center of the ring shakes a bit harder before a clawed hand rips up from under the mat. "Ahhhhh!" he shouts very masculinely. The clawed hand rips a line down the center and then out he crawls. "MOLE MAN! You dare challenge the Mountain of Moldova? Meet your Maker!" He waves to the announcers. "Hey, hey, find this Mole Man a Manager, can't make Money without a Manager. Danger, Danger Fontaine Don't Fight For Free."