Held in a Particularly Preposterous Position, Perpendicular to the ground, Danger Danger Fontaine considered a Proportionally Preposterous Proposition. What would happen if he... "Muhhhh gerrrrrrttt" announced out Mole Man Announcer. "My God," translated Mole Man Translator. "FERKIS AT?" shouted Mole Man Announcer. "Fuck is that?" translated Mole Man Translator. Atreus and Gallium briefly Diverted from their in-Depth Discussion of Denmark to explain. "That's the Two Graves you fucking Moles." It was unnecessarily rude. They were indeed Moles, but Aloysius and Gatriullus didn't have to say it like that. Just because they were Mole People didn't mean they didn't have feelings. If you cut them they would bleed just like you or I. I mean you would have to cut pretty hard because they had all that thick ass hair and their skin was also very thick. And there was a thick layer of fat underneath that thick layer of skin to keep them insulated. It is very cold Underground U Understand and because they live Underground they have to retain as much heat as possible. But if you were To cut Through Their Thick hair and Thick skin and Thick layer of subcutaneous fat They would eventually bleed. And probably cuss you out for cutting Them just To Test This hypoThesis. You fucking dick you. "Too Graves!" called out Mole Man Announcer. "Two Graves," translated Mole Man Translator. They were correct. Mole Man Translator less so, as Two instead of Too was a grammatical error rather than a translation error, but his heart was in the right place. Danger, Danger Fontaine, held in a very awkward position and having his theoretical life blood drunk out of him like some sort of very manly and probably quite high in sodium elixir, had realized there was only one logical way out of this. He had kicked his legs hard in the air, like a small child throwing an extremely masculine tantrum, and as a result he had driven both of their heads hard into the mat. A rarely seen maneuver popularly known as "Two Graves" and it was aptly named as it left both contestants on the floor severely fucked up. [center]*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*[/center] A new song blasts through the loud speakers. It sounds like Glass Breaking. Glass Shattering even. Get it? Do you get what I've done? Do you understand the reference? It's Stone Cold Steve Austin. That was the sound that played when he made his entrance. Glass Shattering. It was also the name of the song. I am very clever. The crowd turns to see Stone Cold Steve Austin make his way to the ring. What a fucking shock this will be. Stone Cold Steve Austin is retired. And probably still under contract with the WWE. And like 60. And also a real life person instead of a goofy ass character in an RP on an Internet Forum designated for making dumb ass RPs. They're in for a Rude Awakening. The music stops and the lights go out. WTF is this. That's weird. It's not part of--- I LIE. I CHEAT. I STEAL. Holy shit. The arena goes wild. The Human Announcers go wild. Absolutely losing their shit. It's fucking Eddy Guerrerro! How is that possible? Hasn't he been dead for more than a decade? WTF! The Mole Man Announcers go wild. It's fucking loud. It's suddenly dark. The crowd is screaming. This is bullshit. They just want to go back down into their nice Mole Man burrows and sleep. If Galileo and Andretoni could just keep their petty lovers' squabbles to themselves they could be off doing Mole People shit. Living Their Best Mole Lives. FUCK! "It can't be!" Mole Man Announcer announces, momentarily forgetting he's not supposed to be able to speak English clearly. "It can't be!" Mole Man Translator translates, hoping folks will overlook Mole Man Announcers' obvious fuck up. "It's Tequila Sunrise!" Adanberto shouts, absolutely spazzing the fuck out that his favorite shameless mish mash of Steve Austin and Eddy Guerrerro is now running down the ramp toward the ring. Mole Man Announcer, Mole Man Translator, and Gustavito all appear disappointed that it is just whoever the fuck Tequila Sunrise is rather than the much better known, widely beloved, and either retired or dead wrestlers they were hoping for. Adalberto however is still Massively Marking out. He has now somehow removed his boxers without removing his pants and thrown them into the ring. Meanwhile Tequila Sunrise, a bald Hispanic man with a goatee, a poncho, jean shorts, and Cowboy boots, runs to Danger, Danger Fontaine's grocery cart of weapons and, with the lobster's express written consent, grabs a chair then rolls into the ring. He does that one spot. The one where he looks around the ring from the still very fucked up Mole Man, MOLE MAN, to the still very fucked up Human Man, Danger, Danger Fontaine, and then back, and then back again, and then to the referee, and then to the crowd, and then to Camera A, and then he starts smacking the chair on the mat like he's about to do something cool, fucking finally and then... The lights go out again. Fucking rolling blackouts. They're back on. They're back out. They flicker faster than Michael J. Fox and then the National Anthem plays, then it transitions into a circus theme. Oh fuck, you guys. You guys! Fuck! You know what that means. Awwwwww Shiiiiiiiit! General Shenanigans makes his way to the top of the ramp. Camouflage pants very camouflage-y. Big Red Shoes not at all camouflage-y. Shit's about to get even stupider. What the fuck.