[@SsongsOfHeroism] You're going to have to take out the whole David Martinez Immunity thing and I don't think having a sandevistan is going to fly, at the start.

[@BingTheWing] approved. Move it over.

[@Creative Chaos] approved. Move it over.

[@BigPapaBelial] too young to be a doc, I'd say age up a few years. Also doesn't say he goes to the crew, he just works a plaza ?

[@Sanity43217] approved, I see most of the backstory is just one big paragraph. Just be mindful during IC to work on the format.

[@Smike] No reasonable crew would take someone who is on the edge of cyberpsycosis. I'd allow IC development to that but to start, no. You'll have to change that.