Bella didn’t break.

Redana’s head rests on Bella’s shoulder. It’s not lolling. Her hair’s a mess and her face is streaked with blood and she feels, rising out of the numbness like a monster rising out of deep waters, the pervasive exhaustion and soreness of putting her body through its paces.

She threw everything she had at Bella, and she didn’t break. All of her power, all of her poise, all of her determination, and the girl she’d tried to protect back on Tellus (so long, so far ago) took it all. And the relief is immense. That Bella is strong enough. That she can take anything that Dany could throw at her except being thrown away.

“I don’t know what happened,” the princess admits. “Any of it. Am I dead? Again? Is this just what happens after…?” After Mynx killed us all. But she lets the thought fade into empty air, because it’s a silly thought. Look, turn it around: it’s empty, too. Nothing there at all.

She should lift her head. She doesn’t. She can be selfish, right now. Bella isn’t shoving her away. And she did such a good job. Didn’t break, either. Was Bella scared about that, too? Probably. But it doesn’t feel real. Not the way the fear of shattering Bella did.

“I’m so glad I didn’t kill you,” she says, finally, pathetically. “That would have been… I couldn’t have. You know. Lived with it.” Her tongue probes the space of a hollow in her jaw, the dull ache where the bone will sprout again. Dolce, will you make her soup? “I missed this. I missed you. I. I’m glad. The three of us. And Beljani. Four of us. Does Beautiful count, too?“ Maybe. For now. Until she explodes again.

“Maybe that’s why.” The thought circles back, grasps itself by the tail. “Because I couldn’t. And someone just… did something, this time. Just for us. And maybe we didn’t deserve it more than all those worlds along the Spear, but… isn’t this worth, that? Isn’t that?”

“…I want to be wine,” she concludes, and closes her eyes. The thought makes sense in her head, because Bella is the cup: her shoulder, where it meets her neck, so big, so solid, so alive. So alive. [i]So[/i] alive that it makes Winedana alive, too.