[h2]Esme Stirling[/h2]
Esme was completely unaware of Duke’s actions as she was curled up in the chair with Sarah wrapped protectively around her trembling form. Keeping her face in her trembling hands, she pressed herself more against the large Hellhound as she cried into them. It had been some time since the memories she had managed to bury had affected her this much and caused her to lose control of her emotions. Though in the back of her mind she always knew they would come back to haunt her, but not in a way like this. She never thought she would find herself this mentally and physically tired, or even face what she had after meeting back up with the Winchesters. Hell, she never saw herself meeting up with them after hearing about Dean’s death. She wasn’t even sure she’d ever meet back up with Duke with how long it had been, but here she was, back with all of them, a Demon, and friends with a Hellhound. Was this just the sort of events and creatures she attracted? Was she more than what she was led to believe and that’s why Demons were so drawn to her? Was it the Winchesters that attracted it all? Was it both of them? Did other hunters come across half the crap they did almost on a daily basis?

Esme gave a quiet thank you to Sarah as she shifted against her and curled in more on herself feeling cold before Duke squatted in front of the chair. When Duke placed his hand on her thigh, she nearly jumped out of her skin, even with how carefully he had done it. Thankfully there was a wall behind the chair to keep it from falling over and to keep her from scrambling out of it, and also Sarah to keep her in the chair. When Esme heard Duke’s voice, she calmed a bit, but didn’t pull her face from her hands just yet as he spoke. After a moment, she finally pulled her hands from her face and wrapped her arms around herself. Sarah pulled back a bit and looked down at her, noticing that Esme was no longer wearing the towel she had earlier. She gently nudged Esme so she was leaning more against the back of the chair before she carefully pulled herself away. Padding over to the bed, Sarah pulled the blanket from the bed then brought it back over to Esme. Doing the best she could, Sarah placed the blanket on one of Esme’s shoulders. When Esme took hold, Sarah released it then grabbed another mouthful of blanket, placing it on Esme’s other shoulder. Once Esme took hold, Sarah let go and watched her as she pulled the blanket around herself and stared at the floor. Esme took in a deep breath and slowly let it out through her nose as she slightly turned her head towards Duke. She wasn’t looking directly at him, but he was in her line of sight.

“It’s not just a nightmare.” she breathed, finally breaking the silence. She closed her eyes briefly as she pulled the blanket up more around her still trembling frame. His paranoia wasn’t helping her any, but she pushed past it the best she could. “It’s horrible memories I thought I had pushed out of my mind to never think about again and had gotten over.” she told him. If she were in the right state of mind, she would be kicking herself for letting Duke see this vulnerable side of her. “Three of the worst days of my life have come back to haunt me once again, and right now, I’m not mentally strong enough to block them out like I have before.” she admitted. Adjusting herself once more in the chair, she adjusted the blanket before running a hand through her hair, to get it out of her face, then wrapped her arms around her legs then laid her cheek on her knees. She sniffled and turned her eyes back to the floor and Sarah’s large paws as tears welled up in her eyes. “One is that time in Toledo where you had given up and I thought I was going to lose you. The second is the day I lost my family to some unknown monster. The third…… Is the worst of all. It’s when I was tricked……” She swallowed hard and wrapped her arms tighter around her legs. She was about to tell him something she hadn’t told anyone, and it was quite difficult to get out. “When I was tricked, kidnapped, and tortured by a group of Demons.” The words flew quickly from her mouth, not giving herself time to stop them again. She closed her eyes tightly to focus on not breaking down again, forcing the welled up tears to finally fall. 

Esme drew in a shaky breath, slowly letting it out as she opened her eyes to stop the memories from playing behind her eyelids. “If you think or name a type of……. Torture. It was probably done to me. Before I was found….. They were close to…… Close to….” she said softly, stopping before saying the last word, it was too hard to say. She still couldn’t bring herself to look directly at him, especially after trying to tell him what happened, and having conflicting feelings. She really didn’t want to be touched by anyone, but she also wanted to be wrapped in a warm embrace and not be let go. Though she also felt the need to step outside to get some fresh night air to help her calm down and collect herself. Sniffling, she turned her head away and brought the blanket up over her head, covering her face realizing what she had done. She had unloaded on him for the second time that night and she figured this news would hit him much harder than learning what she was. “I…. I’m sorry, Duke. I’ve dropped a bomb on you again. One I’ve never told anyone.” she said with a sniffle. She didn’t want him to feel sorry for her, but knew he would after hearing what happened to her while she was on her own, his heart was far too big for him not to. She felt horrible for dropping a bomb on him for the second time that night and for causing him to become paranoid. It seemed like she had a knack for making those around her paranoid, worry about her, and wonder what kind of bomb she might drop on them. Esme fell silent under the blanket, other than sniffling every now and then. 

Sarah gave a whine as she looked at the blanket Esme was under, then nuzzled her head against Esme’s back before keeping it there. Esme sighed heavily, feeling Sarah’s head on her back, but she didn’t remove the blanket from her head. After taking some deep breaths and slowly letting them out, she finally removed the blanket from her head, feeling she wasn’t going to break down again anytime soon. Turning her head back towards Duke, she looked down at Sarah’s paws once again. Sarah lifted her head from Esme’s back giving another whine, then gently nuzzled her cheek before Esme softly shook her head. “No Sarah, I don’t want you to leave.” she breathed. Esme pulled a hand from under the blanket and placed it on top of Sarah’s large head and scratched it. “I may have a problem with Demons, but I don’t have a problem with you.” she continued as she scratched between Sarah’s ears. Sarah leaned into Esme’s hand a moment before nuzzling her cheek once again, which brought a weak smile to her lips. Esme slowly uncurled herself, set her feet on the floor, then turned her body so she was sitting normally in the chair. She then lifted her head just enough to see Duke’s face, but not enough to make eye contact, and focused on the lower half of his face. “I don’t want you to leave either.” she told him. “I need both of you to help me through this and make sure I don’t do anything reckless if I go through this again.” she admitted. Gathering the blanket, she took to her feet as did Sarah to steady her. She took a few steps away from the chair then slightly turned to look back at Duke as she held the blanket around her. 

“I also feel that you’re the only one that can help me stop flinching when I’m touched.” Her gaze dropped briefly before she turned it to the door, then back to him. “I’m going to step outside for a bit for some air. You’re more than welcome to join me if you like.” she said then walked to the door, Sarah close to her side. She unlocked the door and opened it, Sarah went out first then Esme stepped partially out and looked back at Duke. “And don’t worry, I don’t plan on running.” she said with a small smile. Before walking out the door, she pulled the trash can into the doorway so she could get back in incase he chose not to join her outside to think about what she told him. After making sure the trash can would hold the door, Esme walked away from the door a ways before stopping and looking out over the parking lot, noting she was still without a car. Using the blanket she wiped away a few stray tears from her tear stained cheeks, closed her eyes, and tilted her head towards the sky and breathed in the fresh air. She could feel herself wanting to break down again, but she fought to keep control. “Come on, hold it together girl.” she told You’ve cried way too much these past few days. Suck it up and shove it all back down into that box in the back of your mind again.” She continued to breathe deeply and slowly released the breath to calm herself and stay in control of herself and not tear up again.