Rob felt Jane’s trepidation immediately when it came to discussing what was most likely going to be a show.

For Rob, performing a show wasn’t necessarily scary in concept. Not even a month ago, he could remember lazily playing his way through a show at The Alligator in Seattle. He momentarily cringed at the thought of it. It may as well have been a year ago.

But regardless, playing as In Bloom was different. The band always seemed to teeter on a razor’s edge–and from memory, Rob could only name a handful of times where the band was truly locked in with each other in a concert setting. It was an ephemeral thing, them all getting along. Rob’s mind pinged back to Austin, who was likely at home, counting the days before–in his mind–he and Jane fuck it all up yet again. 

Maybe that’s what made this whole thing work in the first place, the fragility of it. If so, maybe the show would be better. 

But for all his thoughts on how it could go, he could see in Jane’s eyes this was a monolithic task. He had seen the way the media tore into Jane during their implosion; or how they descended like vultures at the end of his and Mae’s marriage. But he couldn’t imagine what it must have felt like to be the focal point in their fetid, ravenous obsession.

He pushed such thoughts aside and turned back to Jane.

She way she talked about renovations and yard work shone with a fragile joy. Another uncomfortable reminder for Rob about the vast wealth disparity at play. Jane was talking about putting work into her home when Rob had always been concerned with the opposite. His fully-furnished apartment back in Washington probably only held a boxful of stuff that was actually his. The rest was picked out of a catalogue with an interior designer who could barely get him to care about the options. 

“I’ve love to see your garden,” he responded truthfully as she mentioned it. He wasn’t quite sure of the implications everything at this point. [i]Were they friends again? Were they dating?[/i]

This was ostensibly a date, sure. But that this the beginning of something else?

Rob couldn’t help considering this as J mentioned home directly. Elle would be down here in a few days, and a few days after that, the two weeks were up. What came next?

Evan mentioned an August tour, but he’d find out about MAE’s July tour soon enough, and he imagined In Bloom would be back on the road soon thereafter. So how much time would really pass? A month at most? 

“Well, wait for the inevitable tour, mostly,” he laughed as he began to answer. “I shouldn’t mention this, but I have it on good authority my ex is going to be touring in July, so I’m not sure how long before we’re all back on a bus again.” 

Saying the word ‘Mae’ out loud here felt a bit sacrilegious. Plus, it was just yet another reminder that the world back out there, away from here, was a lot more complicated than he wished it’d be. 

The prospect of being back on a tour bus crossed his mind. And the pain of being away from Elle aside, he had to admit, he was more comfortable on a tour bus than back in his own home.”

He took a deep breath and actually began to answer her question. “But really, aside from Elle time, it’s pretty quiet back at home. I try not to spend too much time in the condo.” 

Rob imagined what Jane’s home must be like. J at home, with her cat, tending to her garden. 

[i]Building a life.[/i] The idea rang through his head. Something he hadn’t done in a while. All he had really done was keep on keeping on. Kept up being what was left of him.

“But no, no real plans. I’m wide open for whatever’s next.”

Looking down, Rob slipped her hand into his and looked back out to the crashing, distant waves.

"It really is beautiful, isn't it?"