Rob nearly shivered as Jane lowered herself onto his arm.

At first, he figured it was some sort of revenant of his past teenage nervousness. Something he grew out of but, for just a fleeting moment, felt again.

But it soon became clear it wasn’t that.

He was genuinely nervous. After ten years, ten long years of building another life with someone, only to have it all come crashing down–after all of it, here he was. Back with J. 

It was something he, at one point in a heated rage, swore he’d never do again. And it was a promise he kept for quite a long time.

But it was all a memory now. And this is what was real.

[i]So what next?[/i] 

The question burned in his mind. And it would remain there for a long, long time ahead.

***

After Jane slipped upstairs, Rob headed outside. In his right pocket, his fingers were already curling around a spliff he had snagged from Sam the other day. And speaking off, as he slipped through the door and into the Californian air, there Sam was. 

He sat cross-legged on one of the pool recliners, his head whipping up from a phone call. 

“No, I won’t tell them,” Sam said. He paused, then continued: “Fuck you, I won’t. I gotta go. Talk soon.” 

Sam hung up the phone and looked up to Rob. 

“Got two of those?”

Nodding, Rob obliged him and sat down next to him.

“I’m assuming that was Evan?” Rob began.

Sam laughed and lit up. “You can’t possibly thing I’d divulge that, would you?”

“I’d bet you two months’ rent that was Evan giving you advance warning that he booked a tour.”

Sam’s eyes went wide. “I’d be a fucking dumbass to take you up on that,” he said, mostly-serious. “Two months of [i]your[/i] rent would bankrupt me.”

“But not for long.”

“...fine,” Sam scoffed after a long pause. “It wasn’t exactly a hard guess.”

“Let me guess again, then,” Rob continued. “You found out first because he needed at least one yes going into the call tonight to convince the others. And we’re performing Friday.”

“What are you, his assistant?” 

“He used the same trick on me a month ago,” Rob replied. He let out the air in his lungs and leaned back onto the chair. “He wanted me on board to get you guys on board. Let me guess, he called you the ‘most dependable’ and the ‘easiest yes?’” 

“...mother[i]fucker[/i].” 

Rob laughed at that one. His newfound friendliness with Sam was much calmer than his seemingly-strained friendship with Austin. Sam wasn’t a very intellectual thinker–but he was always the smartest in the room when it came down to it. All instinct.

Which is precisely why he turned, thoughtfully, back to Rob and asked, “You’re terrified to say yes, aren’t you?” 

This time, it was Rob on the defensive. “I didn’t say that.”

“But you are.”

“...I am.”

“Why?”

To that end, Rob wasn’t sure how to respond. “I guess I suppose there are a few ways it could go right and a million ways it could go wrong.”
“That’s [i]In Bloom,[/i] dude. Do you want to do this?”

“Of course, yes.”

“Then why are you so scared?”

“I don’t know,” Rob replied, flat.

“Since when did you second-guess everything? You were always so sure of everything you ever did––”

[i]“––because that was before I got divorced, Sam!”[/i]

There was a small pause, as both men were caught off-guard by Rob’s outburst.

Rob was the first to break, continuing: “And I wasn’t sure of myself, I was cocky. I thought I knew everything. I was 20, for Christ’s sake. You fuck up enough and you lose that.”

“Yeah, no, Rob.”

“What?”

“[i]No.[/i] I don’t buy it. You’re not some fuck up, you’re a bored rich bachelor. And you’ve been locked up so long you’re scared to commit again.” 

“...ouch,” Rob replied. He took a deep drag of the spliff. “Some psychoanalysis that is.”

“Oh fuck off, man,” came Sam’s reply. “I’m not going to pity you. And you should stop pitying yourself.” 

Rob’s mouth opened to say something, but he stopped himself. 

There wasn’t really anything left to say. Sam was right.

“Fair,” came his short, eventual reply. The two smoked for another half hour, chatting about other things, before making their way to the basement.

Taking a seat, Rob fiddled with his phone’s conference app for a bit before feeling Jane’s small hand on his shoulder–using him for balance. He pushed the phone to the center of the table, watching as Jane slipped Austin some lyrics.

It was almost too long ago to remember, but Rob couldn’t remember a time when Jane was this prolific in such a short span of time. Had she been writing songs this whole time? 

Then again. They had never been a band that was in and out of the studio. It was tiresome, lengthy work. Usually, it took months, but this time, they had enough to fill 2 LPs in a matter of weeks.

Of course, Evan would capitalize on that. His name and bright, overly-toothy headshot appeared on Rob’s phone as he called in. Rob started the call and took a deep breath.

A few minutes later, the group was introduced to a number of new names and voices. Ludwig in Marketing. Regan in Booking. Danielle the Publicist. And others. Evan called it “refamiliarizing In Bloom with the record label’s assets,” but it was truly a thinly-veiled introductory meeting. 

The topic soon shifted to Friday.

“So,” Evan started, “you guys are familiar with Alex’s Bar, right?” 

Austin immediately scoffed. “You’re joking right? We cut our teeth there in high school. Of course we know it.” 

“Well, they’ve announced a secret show Friday, and I made a few phone calls–”

“–Doesn’t sound like much a secret, then,” Sam interjected.

Evan audibly sighed, then skipped to the point: “...and I got you guys in. Friday night. Acoustic or full set, up to you.” 

Even though he knew it was coming, Rob was still momentarily shocked to hear it. His mind briefly flashed to Mae, wondering if the sudden nature was tied to her in any way, but pushed the thought aside. 

He could only imagine what Jane was feeling. He lightly squeezed her thigh under the table–a quick and old way of telling her he was there. The conversation continued on a few minutes after that, with just about everyone tearing into Evan about the decision. Eventually, he had to keep explaining just to keep everyone calm.

“Look, it’s a sold-out show, guys.” 

“Why the hell would a secret show sell out that quickly?” Sam asked.

“Because they think it’s you guys!” Evan exclaimed. “Look, I get it, we’re all a little old-school on how this works these days. I’m surprised too, but you gotta realize that these few weeks you guys were working on the album, it may as well have been two years. If we didn’t put out ‘Everything,’ we’d be seeing fucking YouTubers talking about how In Bloom fell off.”

“So there’s a tour in the works, right?” Rob finally broke and asked. He tried to keep quiet early on but Evan’s trickling method of news delivery was growing old.

“Nothing solid, and you guys can say no...but I was thinking July and August. Breaks every third show of at least 48 hours, and I’m trying to work in a three-day break somewhere in the middle but I can’t get either Phoenix or Dallas to budge on some weekend options–”

“My classes start up in August,” Austin cut in. “Am I supposed to leave my students with an interim professor?”

“Austin, you aren’t getting it,” Evan replied. “If you do this tour you don’t even have to [i]be[/i] a professor.”

“I like teaching.”

“Then you can still teach and not worry about money for a year.”

Again, the room fell back into crosstalk, and a whole lot of questions. The dates, the locations, the venues.

The venues. That was something Rob was shocked to hear about. He had imagined dive bars, quirky spots in college towns, and bottom of the bill in major cities. But no.

Evan had a headline tour in the works that would start a little more than a month from now. No bands yet on the ticket, but he was pulling out all the stops on this one.

At this point, Danielle and Regan cut in. Voices of reason, the two explained succinctly how it would work, what sort of schedule made the most sense, and when they felt the album would best drop. 

“We’re thinking either after show two or before show three,” Danielle explained. “Ludwig’s been calling the record plants to be sure we can do it. He’s confident we can get a limited press in by July 5th, but variants may have to wait. Most of them said they have a massive backlog to get through for a major artist release.

The room was painfully silent at that. She may as well have said, “Rob’s ex-wife is actively fucking with our release plans.” 

“I’ll send you my visitation schedule,” Rob replied. All eyes turn to him, but he ignored them. He had taken Sam’s advice at this point and spoke more confidently than he felt. “If I’m doing this, these dates need to coordinate in a way that I can plan around that.”

“Actually, Rob,” Danielle replied, “Evan already communicated your blackout dates to us. He also gave us Austin’s school schedule so we could get him back before midterms. We actually need to speak with Jane and Sam sometime tomorrow so we can factor any other blackout dates into the lineup.”

The room was silent a moment before Evan brought it home:

“Nothing is set in stone, guys,” Evan began. “It’s all on refundable deposits. I’m asking you to do the secret show as a one-off love letter to your fans, and-slash-or as a personal favor for quietly managing the represses and royalty checks over the years. I don’t need a ‘yes’ right now. Talk amongst yourselves about how I’m a prick after this call, but think it over. Play the show. And if you like it and you like each other, consider going on this tour. Because if the numbers keep going the way they’re going, you won’t be picking up where you left off. You’ll be coming back to double your peak fanbase.”

The conversation continued for a bit after that, before Rob finally hung up the phone.

There was a moment’s silence between the four as they stared towards the center of the table. 

“For what it’s worth,” Sam said, “I don’t need time to consider it. I’m a ‘yes.’ But I don’t blame any of you if you bow out. Just promise me it’s all of us or none of us.” 

Rob’s eyes stayed down at the center of the table. He didn’t see how Jane or Sam reacted, but he glanced up, gave a firm nod of approval, and glanced back down. 

Sam took in a deep breath. “Then I’m going to go my royalty check at the nearest Sam Ash.”

He left after that. And almost immediately behind him, Austin followed–silent. 

Once they were gone, only then did he look to Jane.

He didn’t say a word, but he knew this time his body language was probably doing all the talking for him.

He was an emphatic yes.