[quote=@PKMNB0Y]
[@Teyao]: Right. Form analysis:
[list][*]Personality. It's short. Like, [i]really[/i] short. These three sentences alone don't give enough information about the character in my opinion; it's way too generalized and doesn't really build upon what little groundwork is set. Nothing plays into the way that the character is conceptualized beyond being a bit... 'Tropey', per se? That's also not getting into how hollow it feels without that elaboration; all three sentences feel like they want to 'start' explaining how the character acts, but none of them actually DO anything with that lead-in.
[*]Abilities and Skills. Undefined charm magic which he excels at? No. [i]No.[/i] [b][i]No.[/i][/b] Absolutely not. Things like that are a one-way ticket to removing agency from other players' hands and possibly forcing their actions, and without any clear boundaries or limitations (or some sort of conversation defining them) I will always deny that on principle. That rule applies here as well.
[*]A general thing before getting into detail here: Every single 'paragraph' here is a sentence. A single sentence. Each. By definition, yes, a sentence can be a paragraph, but none of those 'ideas' at the core of each is ever built upon. Some sentences are incomplete, some run on for longer than necessary, and others still have errors in grammar that would otherwise make reading them somewhat difficult if the readers aren't inferring context or actively breaking up the sentences such that they are easy to digest. Given that we're all going to be reading and writing with posts from others at their core (as this is inherently a sort of call-and-response type of hobby writing), I'm left a bit worried that there might not be enough to gain from a post with this sort of writing to leave others with a sense of satisfaction in what they write—in other words, that the posts might not reach the general standard that everyone else's posts would be at here. This is only my opinion, of course, and I do not speak for everyone else with that statement. With that said, let's get into the next few sections.
[*]History: Can a) be collapsed into a single paragraph and b) does absolutely [i]nothing[/i] in terms of defining who the character [i]was[/i] or [i]is[/i] up until this point in time (with 'this point in time' being the start of the RP). It's incredibly shallow and gives us absolutely no meaningful insight into the character, on top of the lack of information the readers might have otherwise been able to gain from the other sections. Speaking of which:
[*]Original Role/Background: Right, where to begin here...
[list][*]As mentioned two points above, readability. 
[*]The backstory itself is a bit... Nonsensical? To sum it up as I see it: the son of a viscount, at the age of ten, sneaks out to watch a wandering troupe. [i]Without any context[/i] as to why their son would be interested in dance all of a sudden, his parents sign him up for dancing—presumably ballroom dancing, as he is still nobility, and not any of the dances of the 'common folk' or those from 'more exotic lands' which I would have assumed he would have seen instead—but somehow see that he cares more about 'freedom' (which, honestly speaking, how would you do that with regards to [i]ballroom dancing[/i]? Actively breaking the rules of the dance itself?) and stop?
It just doesn't add up why a majority of these events would line up in the first place when we consider the type of nobility you paint the character's parents to be (that is, to say, the type that seeks honor, fame, and status among their peers). Reasonably, he never would've been given a chance to 'learn' what you're proposing in the first place—at least, not with the given scenario—and thus would not reasonably exist in this specific setup.[/list]
Needless to say, I'll be rejecting this form for the reasons given above.[/list]
[/quote]

Okay dude, thanks for giving it a chance