[color=CFFF3F][CENTER][img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/221227/0c38d4ceeac69b0db71dd38be48ccdd3.png[/img][/CENTER][table][row][/row][row][cell][center][img]https://i.ibb.co/ccLt3Y3/Mia-Hartley.jpg[/img] [color=2E2C2C][sup]_______________________________________________[/sup][/color][/center][hider=Personal Data][indent][sub][b]D A T A[/b][/SUB] [sup][COLOR=SILVER] [b]Full Name[/b][COLOR=#807B84] - Mia Anastasia Hartley[/COLOR] [b]Callsign[/b][COLOR=#807B84] - Absolution[/COLOR] [B]Age[/B][COLOR=#807B84] - 27 (b. 2651)[/COLOR] [B]Birthplace[/B][COLOR=#807B84] - Fairbanks[/COLOR] [b]Pilot Type[/b][COLOR=#807B84] - Heavy[/COLOR] [/color][/SUP] [color=#2e2c2c]-[/color][/indent][/hider] [hider=Psyche Analysis][indent][SUB][b]P S Y C H E[/b][/sub] [sup][COLOR=SILVER][b]Mediating[/b] [COLOR=#807B84]A veteran of many battles and at least as many intra-squad conflicts, Mia's seen a lot of yelling. With the lunatics she's been paired with over the years, she has found it necessary to become an expert in conflict resolution. And the...[i]diverse[/i] personalities that Tartarus Squadron attracts have only made it more necessary. Thus, she's a calming presence when she needs to be, though unerringly firm with people who are escalating a conflict and stretching her patience, which [i]does[/i] have a hard limit, even if it can be a little tough to reach.[/COLOR][/COLOR] [COLOR=SILVER][b]Friendly[/b] [COLOR=#807B84]And this one goes hand in hand with the conflict-resolution side of her. When she [i]doesn't[/i] need to tell people to get along or else she'll crack their skulls together, she's largely easygoing and friendly. She's reasonable, knows when she's wrong, and isn't afraid to admit it. With some...[i]notable exceptions,[/i] she'll try to get along with anyone once, and generally tries to give people the benefit of the doubt. That's not to say she's a doormat, though. If you cross her, that friendliness and reasonable nature goes right out the window in record time.[/COLOR][/COLOR] [COLOR=SILVER][b]Hardened[/b] [COLOR=#807B84]When it goes out of the window, what it leaves in place is something that people sometimes forget about her when she's hanging out with them. For all the amiability she projects, she's one of the most experienced and skilled NC pilots in all of Fairbanks. She knows what she's doing. She knows what she's doing [i]very[/i] well. Name a technique used in NC combat—any technique—and odds are she hasn't just read about it, she's [i]done[/i] it. So when that cheer flees, she is a reaper of a soldier who knows exactly what you're going to do, and exactly how to kill you before you can do it.[/COLOR][/COLOR] [/SUP][/indent][/hider] [hider=Gear][indent][SUB][b]G E A R[/b][/sub] [sup][COLOR=SILVER][b]'Arbiter'[/b] [COLOR=#807B84]The [i]Arbiter[/i] might not have the highest ammunition capacity of any handgun, holding only three rounds in its internal clip. It might not have the fastest fire rate; Mia's lucky if she pops off a shot once every two seconds. It might not be easy to tote around or carry surreptitiously, given that it's nearly a foot and a half long. But what it loses here, it more than makes up for in sheer power, firing fifty caliber sniper rounds with enough force to punch through plate metal. This monstrous pistol has been with Mia for a long time, and she's found it more than serviceable. Let the kids have their fancy SMGs. You don't need a fast fire rate when one shot annihilates a head at a hundred paces.[/COLOR][/COLOR] [COLOR=SILVER][b]Luxury Datatool[/b] [COLOR=#807B84]You don't make a lot of money in the Fairbanks miitary. But what money Mia [i]has[/i] made, she's invested into a really nice datatool. With an unusually high amount of storage and not only an exceptionally high-fidelity display but sound that actually works without any crackles or glitches out, this is the most expensive thing she's got and she's pretty damn protective over it. A good chunk of the memory is spent on a video diary that she's taken and kept for her entire tenure in Tartarus Squadron every single day. Maybe ten minutes, maybe five seconds. But every. Single. Day. There are well over ten years of daily memories on that high-capacity memory.[/COLOR][/COLOR] [COLOR=SILVER][b]Faded Picture[/b] [COLOR=#807B84]Pinned up on the inside of the cockpit of [i]Absolution [/i] is a wallet-sized photograph. Time and the elements have not been kind to it; the photo paper, once so glossy and white, is yellowed, dulled, and curled in at the corners, and the image on it is nearly indecipherable by now. The faces are all gone; all that's left is the indistinct and blurred silhouettes of five people.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SUP][/indent][/hider] [hider=Neural Combatant][indent][SUB][b]N E U R A L C O M B A T A N T[/b][/sub] [sup][COLOR=SILVER][b]Armor[/b] [COLOR=#807B84]Absolution is an absolute tank of an NC. Heavy composite tungsten-nickel-iron ceramic, backed with tungsten-steel plate mean it's nigh-impenetrable by anything ballistic for a good long while. Between them is a thin layer of lead added to block attacks from ion weapons as best as possible. Between operations—if there's enough time—the surface is coated with a low-density Teflon-carbon-epoxy mixture to serve as an ablative and absorb thermal thermal energy until it's burned off. Consequently, Absolution sports a different appearance depending on mission circumstances. If there's not enough time or she's certain they'll be facing exclusively ballistic or ion weapons, it's a dully gleaming gunmetal-gray. If she has time, on the other hand, it's a dull matte black. The Fairbanks and Tartarus Squadron insignias are displayed proudly on the left and right should pieces respectively.[/COLOR][/COLOR] [COLOR=SILVER][b]Hands[/b] [COLOR=#807B84]Mia is, deep down at her core, a demolitions expert, and she always has been. Consequently, her primary weapon is the Emperor PGMl-10, a very large, semi-automatic rocket launcher. Firing heavy PGM ordnance as long as Mia is tall, it's not exactly the most subtle weapon, nor is it the most consistent. She needs to pace herself, and maintain extremely strict fire control to stop herself from spinning out her weaponry too fast. But when she's able to do so, she can clear whole battlefields with her baby.[/COLOR][/COLOR] [COLOR=SILVER][b]Back[/b] [COLOR=#807B84]Covered in several layers of heavy armor plating to avoid stray damage, the back module of the [i]Absolution[/i] is a powerful shield generator. It doesn't exactly make her the most nimble NC, and the weight would make it prohibitive on anything smaller than her beast of a machine. But pretty much anything that isn't ion radiation isn't going to have a hell of a time even getting to her armor to be stopped. She can even lock the rest of her NC down and reroute power straight into the generator, creating a bubble of space nearly sixty feet across. It doesn't—can't—last a particularly long time, but it's come in real handy quite a few times over her career.[/COLOR][/COLOR] [COLOR=SILVER][b]Auxiliaries[/b] [COLOR=#807B84]Rockets. Lots of rockets. Her auxiliary slots are occupied by rocket pods. Since her NC is so heavy and rock-solid, she can get away with loading a whole hell of a lot of rockets on her broad shoulders. Each pod can hold ten large guided missiles, as well at thirty addition smaller swarm rockets. Drawn by a more sophisticated guidance system than the rest of her ordnance, the swarms can be launched one by one or all at once, and are coded to relentlessly hunt and seek whatever they're sent after. Finally, there's a row of row of four dumbfire rockets at the base of each pod, just for the sake of completion. In addition to all of this, there's a comparatively small weapon that could be conservatively called a [i]hand cannon[/i] locked into a mechanically-released holster at her hip. It's a functional copy of her Arbiter, just...[i]MUCH[/i] bigger, and with a higher ammunition capacity. As fond as she is of her rockets, there's something to be said for having something she can use up close.[/COLOR][/COLOR] [/SUP][/indent][/hider] [hider=Relations][indent][SUB][b]R E L A T I O N S[/b][/sub] [sup][COLOR=SILVER][b]Alice Louanne Aimes (Deceased)[/b] [COLOR=#807B84]Mia's elder half-sister by the same mother, Alice was her closest friend and confidante since they were both children, and they shared their dreams like they shared everything else. They spent their time together as children. They enlisted together. They went through basic together. And eventually the two of them, just about inseparable, were scouted for the original Tartarus Squadron together, and she became the first Melinoë. Around two years ago, though, Alice died, in a terribly sad way. Her Shift was far worse in the end than Mia's: sudden panic attacks, beginning mild and then slowly escalating. Eventually, she suffered a panic attack of such intensity, such horrible fear, that her heart seized and she died. It was like having a leg cut off for Mia, and even these years later, she still misses her terribly.[/COLOR][/COLOR] [COLOR=SILVER][b]Donovan Thatcher[/b] [COLOR=#807B84]Mia's been with Donovan in Tartarus Squadron since the beginning. The most experienced Fury by far, this Lyssa knows exactly how they both think, and Donovan respects her years of hard-won experience. So with her almost exclusively, it's less of a commander-subordinate relationship and more equal, both of them bouncing ideas off each other and perfectly willing with telling the other without hesitation that they've gotta rethink whatever's going on up there.[/COLOR][/COLOR] [COLOR=SILVER][b]Sirona Laurier[/b] [COLOR=#807B84]Only just after her half-sister's death, she was replaced as Melinoë with a tiny thirteen year old child, scared of the world. In any other circumstance, she would have been nice to her, almost nurturing. But so soon after losing her sister and best friend, and watching her be replaced by a kid who seemed just as afraid as Alice was in her last few months, she...well, she wasn't exactly [i]nice[/i]. She was actually quite cruel to her. And though a year or so later she finally let it go, she knew by then that it was a lost cause, and Sirona was afraid of [i]her[/i] quite intensely. So she just...awkwardly stayed out of her way as much as she could.[/COLOR][/COLOR] [/SUP][/indent][/hider] [/cell][cell][b]Physical Details [color=WHITE]◢[/color][/b] [color=#807B84][indent]Standing at 5'11" and lean, Mia cuts a recognizable figure as she walks into the room. Slightly wavy and pale brown hair habitually tied up into a loose low ponytail—she has a tendency to fidget with it—and tanned, callused skin contrast themselves quite nicely around the eyepatch that clings to the scarred wreck that her right eye has been turned into. Jagged lines of white scar tissue peak shyly out from just underneath the patch. Her slim build has been reinforced with tight, lean whipcord muscle. She's not quite as strong as she used to be, since she can't push herself nearly as hard due to her shift, but she is absolutely still quite fit. Her eyes are a piercing brown-black and dart around with a striking degree of speed. Though she's held at a general relaxed friendliness, it's not particularly difficult to see how tense she is at any given moment, and the cheerful smile on her face can collapse into itself at any given moment. All it would take is the space between heartbeats for her to tear the handgun from her hip, draw a bead, and fire in one smooth movement. She wears casual, functional clothing for the most part. There's no point in trying to hide the holster, so she mostly wears things like tanktops and jeans. The faster she can move in combat, or the faster she can jump into her cockpit, the faster things get done. And she knows from long, long experience that a second is the difference between winning and dying. [/indent][/color] [b]Background Information [color=WHITE]◢[/color][/b] [color=#807B84][indent] [b][i]Message received Mia A. Hartley (Lyssa)[/i][/b] [i]Donovan, I think I told you I was doing this, right? Going back through all of the video logs and finding a few of the really important ones? Well, here they all are. Was a hell of a time compositing them all, but got 'em all done. Fun stuff. Oh, and try not to share it with the other Furies, okay? I know we're tight, you and I, but you know I can still be scary when I want to, and if Anya gets her hands on this I'm gonna be PISSED. Gotta say though, it's been weird as hell to see my right eye again.[/i] [hider=My Childhood] [i]These are the ones up through when I enlisted. I was such a kid. Well, I was literally a kid, haha, but that's not what I mean. So innocent to everything, it's kind of cute. But goddamn, I just— No. Nope. Just went through thousands of these little clips. Years and years worth. I'm already dehydrated as all hell and if my eyes could be sore I think they would be. I'm not crying again just writing this. And don't you dare laugh at how I used to wear my hair.[/i] [hider=Video Recording, -no date listed-] —ome on, Allie! Get over here! Hi! It's me, Mia! [right]What are you gonna do with the video anyway?[/right] I'm gonna give it to mom as a gift! [right]Really? That's all? Don't you think she'd want something from just you, Mi?[/right] [i]Pleeaaaaase?[/i] [right]...Okay, fine. Hi! It's me, Alice! ...Was that really—[/right] [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, -no date listed-] Allie keeps telling me that it's [i]dumb[/i] to make these, 'cuz I'll give up soon anyway. I so [i]totally[/i] won't though! Not after dad gave me the datatool! I'm gonna use it [i]forever![/i] So...Hi! My name is Mia Hartley, I'm eight years old, my birthday is the second of June, that's today! And my favorite color is orange! [sub]See Allie! I told you I'd use it![/sub] [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, -no date listed-] Wait—no way, it still works! Wow, I totally forgot about this thing. Hey, Allie, check this out! You won't believe it, but it's that basic datatool my dad got me for my birthday a few years back! And check it out, it still turns on! There are the videos that we made! Yeah, yeah, you were right. I really [i]didn't[/i] use it in the end, haha! I wonder if maybe I should try again though. Still sounds kind of neato to make a video diary. I saw a movie about a guy who did that recently, he survived in a huge wrecked NC for a whole three months in the middle of the Sea of Thieves, and the only way he could keep himself sane was video journaling. Cool, right? Shut uuuup, no, I swear I'll do it this time! Oh yeah? I'll make a week easy, and I'll keep doing it after! It'll be— Hey! Alliiiie! Give [sub]it back, give it ba[sub]ck right now![/sub][/sub] [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, August Fourth, 2663] Well, ah...[i]ehem[/i]...I guess I'm doing this now. And definitely not just because Alice told me I couldn't yesterday! So...here goes. My name is Mia Ana Hartley. Okay, that's not [i]really[/i] my full name, but my middle name is [i]such[/i] a mouthful, god, I'm totally not going to say it every time I start this up. Who still gives someone a name like [i]Anastasia[/i] these days, it's [i]so[/i] old fashioned, you'd need to be— Dang okay, getting waaaaay off track. Let's try that again. My name is Mia Ana Hartley, the date is August fourth two-six-six-three, and I'm twelve years old. My dad is Jacob and my mom is Emily, and my sister—half-sister I guess but basically my real sister—is Alice Aimes, she's the greatest, the best friend a girl could ever have. We've been talking about the military recently. Our mom says we're still too young for it, but other kids have joined at like thirteen so it can't be too long, right? [i][b]WHAT[/b][/i]? Anyway my dad is calling me so I need to go bye! [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, November Fourteenth, 2663] Hiii, I'm Mia Ana Hartley, the date's November fourteenth two-six-six-three, and I'm twelve years old! I'm starting to really get into the swing of these daily log thingies now, it's fun once you get it down! I don't have a lot lot to say today, but I'm really glad I found this old datatool and Allie told me I couldn't do it, I'm gonna keep doing this as long as I can! So I guess I'll just— Oh, hey Allie, you're back! You were away for a while, what did you— You did? You [i]are?[/i] Ohmygod no way, [i]wow[/i] that's so COOL! Hang on, let me—oh, the—? Yeah, I'm still logging, see, I told you I would! Okay! I lied! Something really really big [i]did[/i] happen today! Allie went to the doctor and tested, and apparently there's something right with her brain, I don't know exactly what but [i]she can be a pilot![/i] She's gonna be SUPER important soon! No, you definitely are, shut up! You're gonna be the best and most famous pilot ever! What about me? Naaah, I'd never be as good as you, you're so [i]cool![/i] Heeheehee, look how embarrassed she looks! Isn't it adorable? [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, January Sixth, 2664] Oh. My—okay um my name is Mia Hartley and it's January sixth two-six-six-four and I'm twelve years old, but OH MY GODDD! So I went to the same place that Allie went, the doctor she was talking about right, and she took a bunch of scans and stuff with this big machine and looked at 'em all for a long time, pointed out a few spots—it was my head, scan was my head and she pointed out spots in my brain that she said were [i]super[/i] important, she called 'em [i]neuromarks[/i] or whatever then she smiled and— [i]I CAN BE A PILOT! EEEEEEEEEE![/i] I can't wait to tell Allie! We're gonna go enlist together as soon as mom lets us, and we'll both be pilots together and help protect everyone like all the grown ups say! It's gonna be the [i]best[/i] and I'm [i]so excited,[/i] dad says he's really worried about it, he seems really sad but I don't know why, but I just [i]know[/i] the two of us are going to be the best, it'll be like—like—I dunno but it'll be [i]great![/i] I just can't believe it we're [i]so lucky![/i] Okay I'm too excited to keep talking into this thing, I'm gonna go tell Allie, I bet she'll be [i]so[/i] excited! Bye! [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, June Second, 2664] Hey, my name is Mia Ana Hartley, the date is June second, two-six-six-four. I'm thirteen. As of today! Because it's my birthday! Don't tell mom or dad—or even Allie!—but I snuck out today! I know they don't want me to go outside without them because they say it's not safe, but how unsafe could it be? I'm thirteen, I'm basically grown up now! So I went through the wall real quick, cause I found a little chink in there I never noticed before and I'm definitely not telling anybody else about. I didn't stay out for long, just to look around, because I was—no, I wasn't scared, I was just...being careful, because I didn't want to get caught! It was really dirty out there, and all the buildings are WAAY taller than mom and dad say they are. I did get yelled at by some guy in really dirty clothes for being a 'filthy spoiled rotten rich sheltered princess bi—' Well, you get the idea, right? Dad always says to ignore people like that because they're just jealous they don't have what we do, so...I think that's what I'll do! Then he ran at me, and I ran back around the corner and snuck through the little hole in the wall so he couldn't see where I went. I'm gonna ignore him obviously, but...I wonder what he meant. But, good news! Dad saw that I'd been using this thing for ages now, so he got me a new one with more storage! I had to transfer it all over, but, yay! I was so worried I'd need to start deleting stuff! Anyway, I think that's about all I got for today, and Allie said she has a birthday surprise for me. So...bye! [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, October Eighth, 2665] We're doing it! We're doing it! We're really— My, um, my name is Mia Ana Hartley, the date is October eighth two six six five and I'm fourteen and WE'RE DOING IT! Mom finally said we can enlist! TODAY! She was all cryptic and junk about us not being able to come back and she's sorry but this needs to happen eventually and all that kinda stuff but I wasn't really listening and I don't think Allie was either, we're actually gonna make it, we're gonna be FAIRBANKS PILOTS it's gonna be SO COOL! I can't think straight can barely talk so gonna be done for tonight bye! [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, October Ninth, 2665] ... ... I... [i]Haahhh.[/i] My...my name is Mia Ana Hartley. The date is October ninth, two-six-six-five. I'm fourteen. Well...we did it, Allie and I. We both enlisted last night. We're both pilots. She's in an NC called [i]Blue Sky.[/i] Mine is called [i]Absolution.[/i] We haven't gotten our units yet. We...we really did it. My log from last night...I sounded so excited, just like I was twelve again. Being a pilot was always my— ... God...god damn. I didn't think—this isn't—I— ...I don't want to talk about it. Alice isn't answering my calls. Night. [/hider] [/hider] [hider=My Time In Basic] [i]These are some of the recordings that happened between when I enlisted and when you scouted me. I don't think I've ever shown you any of these. I don't know if I EVER showed anyone any of these except...well, yeah. You get it. Probably because a lot of them are mostly just me being really upset and stuff because I hadn't reconciled the reality of Fairbanks with the sanitized garbage my parents put in front of me when I was a kid. So consider yourself lucky. You're getting to see some things that only Allie saw before. (See how nostalgic I am? Calling her Allie like I'm a kiddo again. Leaving that in for the sake of it so you can see what looking at these does to me, haha).[/i] [hider=Video Recording, December Fourth, 2665] Mia Ana Hartley. December fourth. Two-six-six-five. Fourteen. Everything hurts. I didn't think it would be like this. I'm an idiot. Bye. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, March First, 2666] I'm Mia Ana Hartley. The date is March first, two-six-six-six. I'm fourteen years old. I'm starting to get a little better. Physically, I mean. I was always bigger and stronger than Allie—[i]Alice[/i] was, so I'm not doing so bad on the physical side of things. It's...almost satisfying, looking into the mirror sometimes. Alice hasn't talked to me since November. I feel like I should be worried about her. But I just...never mind. I'm not doing much better. Every time I think about the things that I'm going—that I need to—that—every time, I feel sick. I feel sick now. I don't want to think about it. Bye. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, April Twentieth, 2666 - The Day Little Mi Died] I'm—I— Mia Ana Hartley. Date, April twentieth two-six-six-six. Fourteen years old. I—I can't—I don't—how do I...?— [sub]Deep breaths, Mia. Deep breaths.[/sub] I...I killed someone today. Not an NC, I mean, I just—I tripped an alarm or something and [i]Absolution[/i] booted me out, so it got opened up on the battlefield. Someone tried to climb in after me. He was—he couldn't be older than me, and I didn't think about it, I pulled out my gun and— God, I'm going to be sick. I swear to god I'm going to be sick, I've puked twice already and it's going to happen again. They can't get the stain out of the cockpit. I just... [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, May First, 2666] I miss Allie. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, June Second, 2666] Mia Ana Hartley. Date, June second two-six-six-six. Fifteen years old. Happy birthday to me. When I turned fourteen I was living at home. Allie—ALICE spent the whole day with me. I don't really remember the details, but I remember that I was [i]so happy.[/i] So I spent all day remembering as much of it as I could. I even played the video I recorded on that day. And I'm...just...I spent the whole day crying my eyes out. I couldn't even get out of bed. I'm pretty sure that someone's going to come by and break my fingers soon because I missed training today. Fairbanks is a hell of a place. I don't know if I would even try to stop them. Well, at least [i]something[/i] good happened today. For the first time since Novemmber last year Alice talked to me. Or, messaged me. Just the two words 'happy birthday.' But...it's something, right? So it could always be worse. It can [i]always[/i] be worse. And it's damn sure not going to get better. Bye, I guess. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, July Seventh, 2666] I'm— My name is— I'm Mia Ana—Mia Ana Hartley. It's July seventh. I'm—I'm fourteen. I'm—I—I... I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go— HEY! HEY, GIVE THAT BACK, JESSIE! No! Give it back! Give it back, that's—NO! No, don't you dare, you can't—PUT IT DOWN! [i]I SAID PUT IT DOWN![/i] Put it down, please, it's all I—no, no, put it [i]down![/i] Put it down or—or else—DON'T— [b][i]THOOM[/i][/b] [i]Thump[/i] Oh god, I— No, I didn't—I didn't mean to—oh god, oh god, I— [sub]Oh god...[/sub] [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, July Tenth, 2666] I held my gun to my head today. Please help me. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, July Twelfth, 2666] My name is Mia Ana Hartley. The date is July twelfth, two-six-six-six. I'm fifteen years old. Crazy thing happened today. Real crazy. Maybe the universe listened to what I said a few days ago (if were to delete any one of these, it would probably be that one. God, my eyes were swollen as hell. Or...well, I guess two things happened. Both crazy. One good, one bad. Bad news: my Shift started showing up. Came out of the cockpit today and my fingers were numb. Could still flex 'em and anything, but couldn't feel a thing. Went away after about an hour. I've got a bad feeling it's not just going to be my fingers if it gets a chance to develop. When it gets a chance. Trying on optimism again. It's hard. Okay. Good news: I've been scouted. And not just me; Alice too. We've both been scouted for what apparently going to be some major super elite squad by Donovan, Demon of Fairbanks himself. Says we've both distinguished ourselves on the field of battle enough to be chosen as Furies, whatever those are. And it's true, we [i]are[/i] pretty good. But I saw the way he looked between us. We don't have the same last name, but he [i]definitely[/i] knows, and he wants to keep us together. Not a very demonic thing to do, huh? For the first time in a while, I feel...I feel hopeful. Like things are looking up. And it really, really didn't hurt that I finally got to talk to Allie again when he called us in. And by "talk to," I mean "we both ugly cried for half an hour while hugging each other and both of us apologized for not being there for the other." Apparently a lot of the reason she hasn't been talking with me recently is cause of her Shift, showed up before mine. She gets panic attacks now and then. They're rare, but they're bad. She didn't want me to worry about her. She's still the best sister and best friend a girl could ever ask for. So I guess I should say good bye, huh? Things might really be getting better. I know that's tempting fate, but...here's hoping. Thanks for always listening to me. [sub]I can't believe I'm talking to a fucking datatool.[/sub] [/hider] [/hider] [hider=The "Golden Age"] [i]And now we're getting into the stuff that you know personally! This encapsulates everything that happened in Tartarus, up through...well. You know. When things started going downhill (poor Addie). Still can't believe I had the good luck to be scouted for something like this. I'd pretty much given up at the time. You could probably tell from the one right beforehand, but I was definitely considering GIVING UP in a very concrete and PERMANENT way. If you catch my meaning. You'll notice that not once in any of those logs did I smile. Not really. But you'll see as this goes on I start getting there again. It'll never be the cheerful smile I had as a kiddo, but it's still there, right? So...thanks. Sorry to get sappy, haha![/i] [hider=Video Recording, August Second, 2666] Hey, my name is Mia Ana— My name is Mia [i]Anastasia[/i] Hartley. [sub]It's not that bad, I guess.[/sub] Anyway. My name is Mia Anastasia Hartley. The date is August second, two-six-six-six. I'm fifteen years old. So. Tartarus Squadron, huh? Some of the people from the old unit are pissed that I'm getting out. Tyra especially, I think if I didn't have my gun on me all the time she already would've tried to gut me. But I'm out of there now. New barracks, new quarters. My [i]OWN[/i] quarters. I— I haven't had my own room since before I enlisted. It's small, it's spartan, it's utilitarian. But I [i]have my own room.[/i] The luxury is...almost inconceivable. And you know who else has her own room? Her own room really close to mine? [i]ALICE AIMES.[/i] I don't know if I can really—it's just...so much. So much has happened. Too much. I don't— Good...good bye. I'm... Good bye? [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, November Seventh, 2666] My name is Mia Anastasia Hartley. The date is November seventh, two-six-six-six. I'm fifteen years old. Lyssa and Melinoë, huh? I've never had a [i]code name.[/i] I've had a callsign, obviously. For a little while. And I do keep it during normal stuff, but I don't do as much normal stuff now. So now I have a CODE NAME. We have code names. Mia "Lyssa" Hartley. Alice "Melinoë" Aimes. It's a weird feeling. Hades said he was scouting a third. Said he wanted a total of five, but it would take a while to find them. Apparently he found someone he thought might be "Alecto." I don't really know what he means by it and I think he knows that. I think I'm just...worried. It's taken a long time for Allie to really start opening up to me again. Seeing her Shift attacks has made it better, but it's also really, really painful. The look in her eyes reminds me of when she was having nightmares when she was a kid. ...God, it was only a year ago, wasn't it? I think? Or, not even a year. Time kind of runs together. It feels so much longer than that. Days seem to take a long time when you're worried each of them might be your last, don't they? ...I'm starting to upset myself now, so I should probably stop talking. I just...bah. I'm going now. Good bye. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, December Nineteenth, 2666] My name is Mia Anastasia Hartley. The date is December nineeteenth, two-six-six-six. I'm fifteen years old. Well, I'm starting to see what Donovan's getting at now. Tartarus Squadron, I mean. We have our Alecto. She's a girl a little older than I am, a little younger than Allie is. Her name is Adelaide Taylor, callsign [i]Second Sun[/i], and she's a really good squad support from Unit E-13. Really knows what she's doing, really good at holding groups together and keeping stuff going. Here, check out this picture of her. See how annoyed she looks? She's [i]always[/i] like that. So no-nonsense! She's one of those people that always thinks they know best and everyone else is always wrong. Though in this case, she's, uh...usually right? I mean, it's not like she goes out of her way to tell everyone else they're wrong or anything. She takes other opinions and junk. But she's just really smart at tactics, [i]way[/i] better than Allie or me. Donovan's already definitely starting to plan out ops with her, so I have to try at least a [i]little[/i] less during strategy meetings. So that's the pro. The, uh, con is that I don't think she likes me. And by that I mean she told me she hates me. She hates me a lot. She thinks I'm dumb and I don't care about what happens to anybody else in the squad as long as I get to blow things up. Which is obviously [i]really wrong.[/i] Well...we can at...at least work together...? I guess that's something. Allie's starting to get better. She got prescribed medicine that she's supposed to take whenever her Shift is getting at her. She can't take them herself, so she's given them to me so I can give them to her whenever she starts panicking, and they really do work. They only last thirty seconds, maybe a minute afterwards, which is waaay better than the five or six minutes they're starting to get to. My Shift has started getting worse too. It lasts longer now, and it's starting to go further up my arms, and my legs now too. It's still going away, which is nice. But I feel like it won't always. Things aren't...they aren't good. And I don't think they will be. But they're at least getting better than they were, I think. ...Not like it could get any worse. Good bye, I suppose. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, January First, 2667] Don' ask how I gotthish black eye. And uhhhh...'m Mia Hartley, 's NEW YEARSH! But anyway Allie tol' me that I needed t'get tbed, n' I tol' her back that I was gonna have 'nother drink firsht. Then 'Delaide said I gotta sleep'n'I said to fuckoff, so then she PUNCHED me'n the FACE! I tried t'punch her back but I fell down, 'n then she'n Allie picked me up 'n locked me in m'room. YOU PUNCH HARD, 'DELAAAIIIDE! I'mna go shleep now. Niiiightt! [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, January Second, 2667] ... ... ... God. I look and feel like [i]shiiit.[/i] ... I don't have anything to do today. ... ... I'm going back to bed. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, February Fifteenth, 2667] My name is Mia Anastasia Hartley. The date is February fifteenth, two-six-six-seven. I'm fifteen years old. We've got a fourth now. Here, this is a picture: Priscilla Lee, probably the best sniper I've ever seen. Came from E-13, just like Addie. Donovan calls her Tisiphone now, callsign [i]Snow Shadow[/i]. She's also the cheeriest person I think I've seen since I enlisted. Seriously, it's...it's almost scary. She's so cheerful, all the time. It's to the point that I don't know if I can believe her or if she's hiding something really horrible underneath that constant laughing. Either way, she looks at me really weirdly. I'm not scared of people very often, but...yeah, I think I'm scared of her. But at least she seems to get on really well with Addie. They must know each other from E-13 already. The very tips of my fingers are permanently numb now. It's been a bad day. Bye. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, April Tenth, 2667] My name is Mia Anastasia Hartley. The date is April tenth, two-six-six-seven. I'm fifteen years old. According to Donovan, Tartarus Squadron is done now, because we have our Megaera. Quiet, personable, okay to talk to, okay with talking to people. It's nice, it really is. With Addie's painful acid tongue (she still says she hates me, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't actually, she's just showing an image) and Priss being kind of scary with all the laughing like usual, having someone else other than Allie who I can actually let my guard down a little near is nice. Ah, right, I almost forgot to show her picture! Check her out, this is Lucy Santiago, callsign [i]Claw Hammer.[/i] She's pretty, right? It's almost amazing to me how [i]clean[/i] she looks, y'know? I know she's right out in the middle of everything swinging at everything with [i]thermal brass knuckles[/i], but I guess that's just in NC, huh? Point is, well...I like her. Allie likes her too. Says she actually reminds her of me. Makes me feel kinda nice, I think she's a good person, so having Allie say that makes me feel like she thinks I'm a good person too. I hope she's around for a long while. So, Tartarus Squadron is all together now. I guess now we just need to figure out how to all work together. Especially me and Addie, because she seems to get on well enough with Allie and Lucy, so apparently it's just me? I need ask her about that and work it out sometimes, we need to trust each other. Donovan says we're gonna go out on more missions, just the squad, so we can figure out how to work together better before we start taking real elite sorties. It's wild, isn't it? All five of us. Wow. Goodbye. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, June Second, 2667] Hey, my name is Mia Anastasia Hartley. The date is June second, two-six-six-seven. I'm [i]sixteen[/i] years old now! I looked back at the log I made on my fifteenth birthday today. Man, was some [i]sad[/i] stuff, huh? I still feel a little of that now and then, I have to admit. As much as I'm so much happier in Tartarus Squadron than Unit 12-F, I just...I... No. None of that! Today was a good day! I got to spend it with Allie again. I missed her so much. We were only apart for a little while, but it feels like it was centuries. We're in the military, so we obviously don't have the most means at our disposal, but she actually got me a gift. Yeah, it was just that she'd sewn a patch in my favorite shirt to wear during down time. It certainly wasn't anything like the extravagant stuff that I used to get back home. But for some reason it feels so much better anyway. And you know what? She wasn't the only one! It had to all be kept on the down-low, of course, because if the higher-ups knew that they were actually daring to give me things on my birthday I think at least one of us would be beaten. Probably all of us. Badly. But hey. What they don't know won't hurt us. Point is, I got a few things. Little things, obviously. Allie patched my shirt. Lucy gave me a ring. Tiny little thing, see? I think she cut it out of a shell from one of Allie's guns, actually. Girl's really good with stuff like that, good with her hands. It's pretty impressive. Priss somehow fitted a new part into my pods without me noticing. A few rockets on the bottom that I don't guide, she said she couldn't hook it up to the guidance without me there and that would ruin the surprise. I might leave them like this. Might be handy sometime. And Addie. Oh, Addie. I didn't think she'd give me anything. And she didn't until just, like, half an hour ago, I think she was hanging out with Priss. But then she knocked on my door and—well, you see how my hands are closed over something? Look at that! She set her datatool somewhere so she could take a picture of the five of us when we were eating, and then she called in a favor from her old unit to have it printed out! Isn't that just the [i]sweetest—[/i] Whoa! Oh, uh, hey, Addie! How...how long have you been standing there? Uh oh. She's giving me the Adelaide Glare. I better go. Good day. Bye! [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, October Twenty-Fourth, 2667] Name is Mia Ana Hartley, October twenty-fourth two-six-six-seven, sixteen years old, yadda yadda yadda. Not important, cause hooooly [i]shit[/i] I saw something [i]wild[/i] today, seriously I am just in absolute disbelief. Not 'cause it doesn't make sense cause looking back it totally does, just...[i]whoa![/i] Last night I couldn't sleep, was heading out to do some maintenance on [i]Absolution[/i], always seems to help when my thoughts keep me up. I think there's...maybe something a little messed up about that. But anyway, the point is, I was halfway through cleaning out scorch marks from the Emperor, right? And then I hear voices. Quiet ones, ones I recognize. And it's hard to see me 'cause I'm half in and out of a big gun, so I just stay quiet. Look, I know I shouldn't eavesdrop but they were talking 'bout some heavy stuff, not [i]depressing[/i] heavy but like, sweet heavy, I mean— Look, I poked my head out and right there next to [i]Snow Shadow,[/i] Priss and Addie were making out. And not like [i]hot passion[/i] making out, I mean like the kind of tender thing people who are [i]really serious[/i] go for, talking in between kisses. Not that I would—never mind, shut [i]up[/i] Mia! Point is, if that doesn't describe the kind of [i]sweet heavy[/i] I meant, then Iunno. But oh [i]god[/i] they're treading a dangerous, dangerous road. I'm not going to turn them in obviously, but if the higher-ups find out, they'll be [i]lucky[/i] if their families are threatened. [i]Real[/i] lucky. I'm happy for them, you know? I am, really. But...I don't... ...I hope the two of them are happy. But Fairbanks is... ...Well, I should shut up before one of both of them hear me. So...bye, I guess. Hopefully things don't [i]implode[/i] here. For them. For everyone. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, December Thirty-First, 2667] Promished myself an' Allie I wouln' get sloshed this year like I did last year. 'N I'm not, 'm jus' normal drunk. Oh uhhhh...Mia Hartley, 's NEW YEARS AGAIN BABY! 'N I'm still sixteen. Look, y' can't blame meeee for how Priss suddenly got her hands on thish much vodka! 'N wha' was I s'posed to do, let it all go t' waste? Iiiii dooooon't thiiiiiink sooooooooooo! Allie called me a stick 'n the mud for going to take my log, but come oonnnnn I do thish every night 'n she knows it. Plush, when I left, 'Delaide and Priss were starting t'make [i]the eyes[/i] at each other, I bet there'sh gonnabe somethin' goin on between 'em tonight f'sure ehhheheehh... SHU'UP, DONO—[i]hic[/i]—VAN! 'M NOT GOIN'T'SHLEEP TIL IT'S TWENTY SIX SIXTY EIGHT AN' I'LL TALK INTO MY TOOL AS MUCH 'S I—WHAT? Fuck, fuck, gotta go, Allie'sh having a Shift 'ttack an' I'm the one with her meds. Gotta—[i]hic[/i]— gotta do that, oh fuck. HOL' ON ALLIE, 'M COMING— [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, May Fifteenth, 2668] ... ...I guess I look a little different, huh. Everything does for me. Sorry for no log last night. I'll need to make up for it somehow. But I was recovering after...well, yeah. Op yesterday with the rest of Tartarus. Going behind enemy lines and fucking with supply vehicles so their lives get harder. It was pretty by the books, went well, even had a rapid exfil for if and when shit went downhill. Which is...well, why I'm still alive. Was taking a last shot at an armored transport, mulching everyone inside. Something feels weird about how clinical I feel. Like I should feel bad about it. But I really don't. Anyway, we were just about to leave when a few NCs came over the ridge across the way, 'cause they'd noticed that something was wrong when they were on patrol in the area. Bad luck. They took some shots at us, but they all deflected 'cause they were far away and we were getting out anyway. But right as we were about to disappear, a shell hit [i]Absolution[/i] dead on. Dunno how, maybe one of them had ion tech, but it went right through the shield, then went right through the armor. Didn't hit me dead on; it hit the inside of the cockpit, came apart, and bounced around, is what Adelaide said. And when it was fragmenting like that, one of the fragments, well— Well, you get it. I don't know why Donovan had an eyepatch handy for when they got me back to base after I disconnected spontaneously right about as we were getting back over the border of the demilitarized zone. But lucky he did. I don't think I could take looking at that ruined mess that used to be my eye anymore. ...Goddamnit. This really sucks. Fuck. Good night. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, June Second, 2668] Name is Mia Anastasia Hartley. The date is June Second, two-six-six-eight. I'm seventeen today. Well, it's certainly not as sad as my log two years ago, where I seem to have just given up on life entirely. But today also definitely wasn't a high point like last year's. The higher-ups are apparently cracking down on [i]frivolous activity[/i], by which of course they mean anything that isn't training or active duty. Like that's all anyone needs to live, apparently. Thank god Donovan has a little wiggle room since our squad's a small independent unit and we've done a lot of pretty hardcore things, or else who knows, they might even take this tool away. You see this finger? That's about what I think of that. So the point is, no gifts today. Just caution. Well, Allie gave me a bit from her rations, but...I feel bad about it. She's doing well, but that's not really an excuse for taking her food. I ate it anyway. Selfish, right? So, anything else...oh, I'm starting to get more used to the eye thing. It helps that when I get into the NC I get the same kind of full-angle vision I always have, but I mean in waking life, just walking around. Starting to figure out how to work around the depth perception thing and lack of perspective. It took me ages, but I finally started figuring out how to actually hit the target with my gun, finally. I'm not a deadshot like I used to be—that's a joke, I was never a deadshot—but I can at least hit the thing now. What else, what else...ah. Right. Shift. Getting into fullsync more often, and so it's gotten worse. Goes all the way up to my shoulders and mid-thigh now. [i]Completely[/i] numb elbows and knees down. And the permanent numbness is about halfway up my forearm and shins. ...This is going exactly where I think it is, huh. Well, it wasn't a [i]bad[/i] day or anything. Didn't [i]lose my eye[/i], nothing like that. Just...kind of normal. Adelaide and Priss are spending a lot of time together, like you'd maybe expect. It's kind of sweet, honestly, and it's starting to temper both of them. Priss is a little less...I dunno, laugh-creepy? And Adelaide's actually smiling and junk, even though her Shift is starting to cause more acute pain than before. That said...it's also more noticeable. I'm worried about them. Well, Mia Hartley, almost an adult now, out. G'bye. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, July Twelfth, 2668] My name is Mia Ana Hartley... [sub]Feels weird to go back to that, huh?[/sub] ...and it's July twelfth, two-six-six-eight. I'm seventeen years old. It's the anniversary today. Like a second birthday. The anniversary of Donovan scouting me, I mean. Pulling me out of actual hell and giving me a slightly nicer hell where I have my own room. Walked around and thanked everyone today. Priss, Addie, and Lucy looked at me like I was cracked in the head. But Allie gets it. We spent most of today together. I mean, yeah, we were sparring and working out so we had an excuse, but we spent it together anyway. Oh, right. I split my knuckles bad when we were fighting and didn't even notice until she told me cause of my Shift. I'm not going to be able to do this for much longer am I? God. Well, at least the drugs are still working on Allie's, though she says when I'm not around to give them to her the attacks are getting longer and more intense. Really worried about her. Hope she stays okay. Anyway, I need to change the bandage on my hand. No pain, but I can see the blood leaking through. I'm gonna go do that. G'night. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, October Fourth, 2668] My name is Mia Ana Hartley. The date is October fourth, two-six-six-eight. I'm seventeen years old. Oh god. They're playing a really dangerous game. Sorry I'm whispering, because I don't want anyone to hear this but me. But I overheard the two of them in Priss' room, and thank god I'm the only one that overheard. Because I think even Donovan would've needed to report hearing two elite pilots [i]discussing desertion.[/i] They know they're not gonna be able to openly be together as long as they're in the military like this, or Fairbanks is going to metaphorically and possibly literally tear them apart. But desertion from Fairbanks is a pretty dangerous thing to discuss. They find you, you're [i]lucky[/i] if you get shot. I'll cover for them if they ask me, obviously. Which...might not go well for me, but I still have my principles, damnation. But...man, I hope they know what they're doing, because if they don't, Tartarus Squadron is [i]fucked.[/i] That's all. Nothing else really important went down today. So, g'bye. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, December Sixth, 2668] [i]Fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck oh god oh fuck no.[/i] Fuck, Addie, I'm...jesus christ. Fuck. Oh god. Okay. Okay, today...today Priss was part of a normal op. Totally normal easy stuff, she's done it a thousand times. She was miles away, she shouldn't have been in any—any danger. Apparently it was a stray shell. A stray [i]FAIRBANKS[/i] shell. Priss—our Tisophone...I—fuck, I just...at least they say it was fast, she didn't...didn't suffer. She... Addie is absolutely beside herself, of course, just about losing her mind. I've never seen her like this. I mean, I've seen her crying, but—but never like—I've never seen her sobbing like this. Wailing. It's like she got her arm cut off. I tried to comfort her, but, what do I even say? I wasn't supposed to know about their relationship, so I obviously can't say anything about that or anything, I just...I can't do anything. She's falling apart. I guess...I guess one of us had to go. I think maybe I just let myself forget it. I'm not going to do that again. Fuck, I—god, I can hear her screaming at Allie. I don't know what's going on, but I should go try and break it up. I'm sorry, Priscilla. And I'm sorry I was afraid of you at first. You deserved better. [/hider] [/hider] [hider=Things Fall Apart] [i]I suppose it's time for me to indulge myself in a great deal of self-pity now, isn't it? I smiled a lot back then, didn't I? It's...almost hard to look at. Blinding. Like looking at the sun. Painful. I wonder if it's sad that I can say with confidence they were the best two years of my life. Back home? I was...I don't know, coddled. Treated like, well...what did that guy say again? Hold on, let me check the video again. Ah, there it is. He called me a "filthy spoiled rotten rich sheltered princess bitch." In basic I was...well, you saw the logs, didn't you? You saw that I was really close to...doing something, ehm...something that I would regret, and not be able to take back. But being in Tartarus with with all the first Furies...it was...it was nice. Bah-ahaha! Listen to how maudlin I've gotten! It's not bad now, with Jackie and Anya and Marina and...well. I suppose that...that we'll need a new Melinoë soon. ...I know you blame yourself for what happened to her, Donovan. Don't. Please. ...God, I can't believe it's already been ten years. And only three since...well...you remember her.[/i] [hider=Video Recording, January First, 2669] ...It's not fun this year. I didn't drink. I get the feeling I'd just get sad. Priss is...Priss is dead. Addie isn't falling apart anymore at least, so that's good, but any trace of sympathy for anyone has been burned out of her, like her soul died along with Priss. She's just [i]angry[/i] now. Only comes out of her room when she needs to. Lucy's holding it together, but she's clearly upset (obviously), even if she tries not to look it. And...I don't know how Allie would normally be holding up, but she's really on edge right now. Because we're down a Tisophone, we've all needed to fullsync more, so her Shift's gotten waaaay worse. They won't give us any more medication for her in this hellscape of a military, so we need to ration it out carefully and only use it after a few minutes to make sure that we have enough for the really bad attacks. Oh, god, yeah, speaking of Shifts, mine's [i]also[/i] getting worse. Until now the permanent numbness was just creeping further up my arms and legs—it's starting to move past my elbows and knees now—but everything else was pretty stable. But I got out of the cockpit this morning and my whole chest was half-numb. Like I was pressing on it through, I dunno, a thick layer of cloth or something. It hasn't moved above my legs yet, but...it will. God. So...yeah. The kind of uneasy stability that we'd found is all but gone now. Donovan said that he's going to find a new Tisiphone soon, scouting for her right now. But man, the look in Addie's eyes when he said that... ...The photo in my cockpit is the best thing that I own now. Oh, god. I almost forgot, I'm nearly out of storage. I need to find a way to expand it soon. If I need to delete one of these or stop making them, I think I'll come apart at the seams. Just another problem. Well, at least I always have Allie. G'bye. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, February Tenth, 2669] My name is Mia Ana Hartley. The date is February tenth, two-six-six-nine. I'm seventeen years old. Well, we have our new Tisiphone. Here's a photo. Great sniper, one of the best out there apparently, though she's been in reserve pretty much her whole career, so her Shift hasn't even shown up yet. Cheerful kid, a few years younger than the rest of us. It's nice to have her there; we're all pretty dour right now, so having someone who isn't so upset all the time is kind of a breath of fresh air. Callsign is [i]Moonshot[/i]. Big ol' ballistic sniper rifle. Got some ion fire in there too, which is really nice, since it's starting to get more common these days and we really need to have the edge. Her name is Jacqueline Brake. Things is, though...you remember that "it's a breath of fresh air" thing? Well...I think so. Lucy thinks so. Allie thinks so, I can tell. Addie... God. [i]God.[/i] I feel so bad for her, I do. But she's... I used to think Addie hated me, and she even told me she did. But she wasn't [i]really[/i] serious about it. She didn't [i]like[/i] me, but she didn't have a grudge. But oh, man, poor Jacqueline. She's still reeling from Priss being gone. So I think it's 'cause she sees another cheerful sniper girl as Tisiphone as angling to replace Priss, but...she is [i]very[/i] vocal about how she really, truly hates Jackqueline, and she's [i]always[/i] going to hate her, and she's never going to forgive her. And it makes my heart bleed seeing Jacqueline look so hurt and confused. I can almost hear her thinking, [i]forgive me for what?[/i] God. I don't want to discount Addie's grief, because god knows we're all still upset, and her most of all. But she's just being needlessly cruel. I might talk to her later. Wish me luck. [i]God, will I need it.[/i] G'bye. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, June Second, 2669] My name is Mia Ana Hartley. The date is June second, two-six-six-nine. I'm seven—[i]eighteen[/i] years old. Hear that? I'm an [i]adult[/i] now. I got a gift today again. Not from Lucy or Allie, and [i]definitely[/i] not from the ball of rage that our Addie has become. Nah, I got it from [i]Jackie[/i]. Lucy told me in confidence that Jackie'd told her she held me in some kind of awe. Me and Allie, that is, the first two scouted Furies, but it's a little harder to talk to Allie now than it used to be. Not only is she still grieving a little bit over Priss—she always took things like that hard—but her Shift has her really high-strung all the time. So apparently Jackie sees me as kind of a role model. I think I'm going to be [i]sick.[/i] Please, Jackie. I am not a role model you want to follow. Not after I—Jessie— Never mind. Don't be like me, Jackie. Please. Be like Allie. Better yet, be like Lucy. Hell, even be like [i]Addie[/i]. Just as long as you're [i]not like me.[/i] Never mind. Those aren't birthday thoughts. This is supposed to be a good day. Oh, right, I never actually showed you what Jackie gave me, haha. And that's nuts, cause it's super important. Apparently they pay better in reserve than they do in active duty. For [i]some reason[/i]. So she spent a bunch of it a [i]new storage drive[/i] for my datatool. I guess Allie told her I needed one. Thanks, Jackie. I'm trying to keep Addie away from you. I swear. Happy birthday, Mia. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, September Thirtieth, 2669] My name is Mia Anastasia Hartley. The date's September thirtieth, two-six-six-nine. I'm eighteen years old. [i]That's my fuckin' girl, Allie![/i] God. [i]God[/i]. I know she's older than me, but I feel a little like the older sister recently because of the whole Shift thing, she's a bit of a nervous wreck sometimes and it dependent on me sometimes. So I can't help but just be [i]so proud of her.[/i] Sortie last night. We were pinned down by an absolute hellfire of machine guns, missiles, thermal lances, ion fire...the whole nine yards. I couldn't get the hell out, and my shield was all out of juice. Jackie had been flushed out and needed to scramble, she wasn't going to be in position for another few minutes. Addie's been scratched out, of the fight, NC crippled, barely managed to get [i]Second Sun[/i] outta there. Lucy was alone out in the middle of everything. I was pretty sure I was gonna say goodbye to her. Then my [i]fucking sister[/i] hits fullsync, jumps into action, and comes [i]blasting[/i] out of the ravine next to me, pulling the last of my big rockets out of the pot as she went. Jesus, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. Then she [i]pitched[/i] the thing. Blackstoners were so surprised they could barely react, couldn't shoot it down in time like the rest of 'em, so she nailed them right in the middle of the line. Huge explosion, blew a cloud of dust into the air two hundred feet up, easy. When it'd cleared, she was back down there with me, and [i]Lucy was with her.[/i] I felt like the sun had come out. Then Jackie got into position again, started picking them off, and we circled around under her cover, got into place, and wiped them out. My big sister is [i]fucking awesome.[/i] Good day. Real good day! Night! [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, January First, 2670] My name is Mia Anastasia Hartley. The date's January first, two-six-seven-oh. I'm eighteen years old. I don't think I can ever get drunk on New Years again. Ever. It is just [i]not[/i] a good idea. Additional note, and a reminder for future Mia, because come on, let's be honest, we all know you look back on New Years video logs constantly: whatever you do, [i]never ever let Jackie and a drunk Addie be in the same room again.[/i] Holy fffff— Short log tonight. Because on that note, I need to go get something cold (god, Allie's gonna need to help me, I can't even feel it anymore) to ice Addie's knuckles, and another something cold to put on Jackie's eye. Well, look at it this way: at least Addie's not punching [i]me[/i] out this time. Ugh, I can hear Jackie groaning in the next room, and Addie's still frigid. I need to go take care of 'em. Is this what being a [i]mom[/i] is like? Jesus. Night. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, June Second, 2670] My name is Mia Anastasias Hartley. The date is June second, two-six-seven-oh, and I am officially nineteen years old. Shit birthday. Shit, shit, shit birthday. Jackie's Shift manifested today. She joked that now she's a member of the [i]cool kid's club,[/i] but she's shaken up, it's really easy to tell. Allie's...well, busy with her own Shift a lot these days. Lucy is trying to not lose herself to this asshole guy named Aldis Follen, the previous pilot of [i]Claw Hammer.[/i] And, well...[i]Addie.[/i] So it's just me now, who's really present to help her. Got out of [i]Moonshot[/i] after a fullsync, and she was like...dead. Not out of it, I mean, and she didn't fall over or something. But for a minute or two her emotions were just [i]gone[/i]. Screwed up to see her like that. She's always been so cheerful and emotional, having her lock up like that...it hurt. But I talked her through it, talked about Polaris Shifts and stuff. Had her scratch me on the neck, watch me wince. Told her that yeah, it seemed awful, but I'm still not totally numb, and I've been in constant active duty for almost five years, and see? It takes a lot more time than she thinks for the Shift to progress. She seemed better after that. I hope she turns out okay. Bah. Not what I wanted on my birthday. But hey, that's just how it is, right? Night. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, November First, 2670] F—fuck, I—no, no I'm not gonna cry anymore, I..goddamnit, I let myself somehow get lulled into that sense of security again, I, she... Fuck, no I can't say it, I can't say it. It's too painful, like stabbing myself, I can't... Fuck, I—I watched it happen, I saw the thermal lance coming, I—I could've—I could've done...done [i]something[/i], I don't know, I saw it punch right, right through [i]Claw Hammer,[/i] I dragged it off and opened it to see if she was okay, and she...I just... ..We—we're...we need...we need a new Megaera. I'm gonna puke. I'm—she didn't—it shouldn't have— [i]Hurrgghhhhgkkk![/i] F—fuck, I need to go...I need to go wash my face and clean this—clean this up, I just— Lucy...I'm [i]sorry—[/i][i]hrrrgkkkkk—[/i] [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, January First, 2671] ... I don't want to log today. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, March Thirteenth, 2671] Mia Hartley. March Thirteenth, two-six-seven-one. Anita Lawrence. Callsign [i]Megavolt.[/i] A ballistic SMG and an ion hand cannon. Vanguard. Our new Megaera. I'm not getting attached to this one. She's going to die too. [/hider] [/hider] [hider=Sparkplug] [i]...I don't want to talk about her.[/i] [hider=Video Recording, March Twenty-First, 2671] Mia Ana Hartley. March twenty-first, two-six-seven-one. I couldn't do it. I can't—I can't [i]not[/i] get invested. Anita is...just...Jackie is withdrawing from her because she's worried about getting [i]Anita[/i] too attached and then losing everything. Addie is...well, she's still Addie. I can't...god. It's so sad what happened to her after Priss died. She just can't do human things anymore. I don't know. I just think it's sad to watch Jackie avoid her, and watch Allie avoid her. They used to be such good friends. The point is, Anita was just...all alone. And it was horrible to watch her [i]avoiding[/i] everyone, just going back to her quarters, trying not to make eye contact. So I... Well, I started talking to her. Apologized for being unfriendly because I'd just said goodbye to a very close friend, but that wasn't her fault, introduced myself, and told her she could come to me no matter what. She gave me a hug, and cried. Then I started crying too. Fuck. She's just a kid. And...god, god, I can't help but feel like she's somehow [i]my[/i] kid, even though she's only a few years younger than I am. Nobody else is gonna help her. So...fuck, what was I [i]supposed[/i] to do? Ugh. Bye. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, June Second, 2671] My name is Mia Ana Hartley. The date is June second, two-six-seven-one. Come on, Anita! Get over here! [right]...Are you sure? You said this was important to—[/right] Yeah, exactly! That's why you're gonna get over here and do it! [right]I dunno, Mia...[/right] Hey hey, remember! It's my twentieth birthday! Think of it as a birthday gift! [right]Well, if you're sure, then...yeah![/right] Hey! Take a look, this is Anita, the little sparkplug! [right]Hey! [i]Sparkplug?[/i] What's that supposed to mean?[/right] Well, you're [i]Megavolt[/i], right? And you're a little firecracker, aren't ya? So you're the sparkplug! [i]Psst! She's not actually a firecracker![/i] [right]Ughh, come [i]onnn[/i], Mia![/right] Ha! You hear that! You hear that, Anita? You sound just like me when I was a kid! Ah-ahahah! Come on, Anita! Come baaack! She's great, isn't she? Ahaha! See ya! [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, October Nineteenth, 2671] My name is Mia Anastasia—YEAH, SPARKPLUG! MY MIDDLE NAME IS ANASTASIA, WHAT ABOUT IT? CLOSE THE DOOR AND LET ME LOG, KIDDO! [i]Ahem.[/i] Well, tomorrow's the big day. Training period's just about done, Sparkplug's 'bout to come on her first real Tartarus op! She's...well, she's nervous as all hell, y'know? Obviously, I mean, who wouldn't be? But I think she'll be okay. She's actually really good. And it helps that she's actually got some range, unlike— ...Never mind. Point is, Sparkplug's great, and I'm positive she'll do just as good as any Fury! Man, I can't remember the last time I've really been [i]excited[/i] for one of these ops. Maybe back when Priss— God. I need to stop thinking about that kind of thing. Those days are over, and they aren't coming back. But...if Sparkplug's around, then things aren't so bad. Anyway, I'm doing better than I have for a long time. Allie's also starting to warm up to her with me on her side. She agreed that she reminds her of me when I was a kid. Jackie's still holding herself apart, and I don't think Addie's ever going to like anyone ever again. But...well, two out of four isn't bad, right? Dang, I really like this kid, haha. I'll see you again after the op with the good news! [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, October Twentieth, 2671] My name's Mia Anastasia Hartley, date's October twentieth, two-six-seven-one, twenty years old and [i]stoked as hell![/i] Sparkplug is an ace. A fuckin' [i]ACE![/i] She [i]crushed[/i] it so hard that even [i]ADDIE[/i] needed to admit that she did good! Stealth op deep into Blackstone, puttin' on the Blackstone flag and cracking open a reserve barracks to start turning 'em on themselves. There was retaliation from a few NCs, obviously, we were assaulting a military installation, after all, and [i]WOW,[/i] she tore them [i]up![/i] Ion in one hand, high cal SMG in the other, man she was popping 'em like nothing! Knew that training this kid up— God, sometimes it's weird to realize she's only five years younger than I am. Feels like a bigger gap. Wild, right? The point is, she absolutely shredded the op. Went like a breeze. This girl's gonna go the distance, I can tell! Man, oh [i]man[/i] am I thrilled! I'm gonna go clap her on the back and maybe punch her in the shoulder. She kicked ASS today! See ya! [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, December Thirty-First, 2671] M'name's Mia An-Anas-Anstasia Hartley, 's NEW YEARS BITTCHHHH! Gonna be twenny-six-sevenny-two in a few, and I am DRUNK AS FUUUUCK! 'S great, I love't, missed this shit on New Years! Sparkplug somehow managed to get 'er hands'n some gooooOOOood shit, and fuckin...[i]everyone's[/i] sloshed, [i]I'm[/i] sloshed, [i]Jackie's[/i] slooshed, Allie's already fuckin gone, fuck, Addie's here hatin'll of us but she hatesh everyone now, she'sh not the same person I used t'know. Fuuuckk now I'm sad. I'mna go back out'n hangout with 'em. 'S happy here for once. Nice. See yaaaa! [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, April Twenty-Second, 2672] My name is Mia Anastasia Hartley. The date's April twenty-second, two-six-seven-two. I'm twenty years old. I knew it would happen eventually! I was walking out, and I saw Jackie and Sparkplug talking in the common area. I knew Jackie wouldn't be able to resist her for too long. Though...that reminds me. Jackie's Shift has started to get a little worse. It's not bad! Nowhere near as progressed as mine. Nothing permanent. But it lasts a lot longer after she fullsyncs. I think it was almost an hour last time. It still only happens after fullsync, but I'm...still worried about her. Sparkplug still hasn't had any noticeable Shift yet, which is nice to see. I'm worried about what's gonna happen to that kiddo too. I seem to worry about these girls a lot. But the point is, the two of them are talking now. Jackie's finally, finally stopped holding herself back, maybe after seeing me spending so much time with Sparkplug. God. More worry. Person I'm worried about the [i]most.[/i] Allie is...there's something wrong with her. She's twitchy and paranoid, and never seems to relax unless it's around me. I hope she's dealing with nerves or something. She takes a long, long time to process grief, so maybe she's still upset over...well, yeah. I don't know. I just really hope it's not her Shift starting to go permanent. That would be a nightmare. Well...that got a little upsetting. But the point is, I'm glad Sparkplug's starting to get along with Jackie. It's nice. I've been worried she hasn't bee talking to enough people other than me. Gotta go talk to Donovan now, he has a briefing he wants to go over with me. Down to business, huh? Anyway, see you. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, June Second, 2672] My name is Mia Ana Hartley. The date is June second two-six-seven-two, and today I'm twenty one years old. Sparkplug asked me some hard questions recently, and they're back on my mind now, since they've all gotta do with my birthday anyway. She asked me about the ring first. Then I let her see my cockpit, and she noticed the picture. Recognized Allie and Addie. Asked who the other two are. I've been quiet today. I think she thinks she's done something wrong. I've told her she didn't. Fuck. I love Sparkplug—er, Anita. I love this kid, and I love Jackie. But...god. [i]God.[/i]. I miss...I miss Priss and Lucy so goddamn much. I know I'm a soldier. Death is my business, I kill people, I've killed a lot of people. But...those two have left such a hole in my heart, and I don't think Jackie and Sparkplug can ever fill it. Allie isn't doing well. And we're running out of medication again. [i]Haaahh.[/i] Happy birthday to Mia, I guess. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, November Tenth, 2672] ... ... ... ... ... ... I... I just... Fuck. [i]Fuck![/i] How? How? WHY? I don't...I... [i]sniff[/i] Hello...? Oh. Oh, hey...[i]fuck[/i]. Hey, Sparks. Yes, yes of [i]course[/i] I'm crying alone. Hahaha...I've cried—cried alone more than you can imagine, kiddo. God...why? Why did she have to go like that? She—she was better than that. She didn't— [sub]Fuck. Fuck. Why?[/sub] Look, kiddo, you...you don't need to stick around me right now. You...you didn't—you didn't know her like I did. She was just...I know she was mean to you and Jackie, but...but you just...you can't understand. She just—she just missed her—Priss—she—[i]hhgghhhh[/i] [sub]Why? Why did this—why did she need to go like that? It's just...it's just Allie and I now, there's nobody else...there's...I miss her, I miss her smile, I[i]ghhhh[/i] I just miss her so much, she didn't deserve what happened to her, she was just—just lonely, I just...[/sub] ... ... ... [i]sniff[/i] ... [sub]Fuck, I—[/sub] Fuck, I'm...I'm sorry, I'm s'posed to be... ... ... ... Hey, uhm... Do...do you... Do you mind if I—if I tell you about her, Sparks? About...how she used to be? [sub]...Thank you.[/sub] [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, January First, 2673] My name is Mia Ana Hartley. It's January first, two-six-seven-three. The other three are drinking right now. I don't feel like it. Fuck off, Mia. Don't judge me for smoking. Don't I have enough stress to have earned it? Fuck. I can't believe—I know I've said it almost every day, but I just...I still can't believe Addie's gone. And she should have gone out better. She earned so much better. We all would've died so many times without her in the field. So what right does some [i]asshole commander[/i] have to shoot her in the back of the head because she's taking out her frustration on another unit's NC? She deserved more. She deserved better than this. Hello? Oh. Hey, Allie. Fuck, fuck, sorry, I know I shouldn't be smoking. I just... ...Yeah, I know. They didn't know her like we did, they wouldn't understand. C'mere. F—fuck. I'm gonna...[i][sub]hggkkh—[/sub][/i] ...Yeah. I'm...I know. I know I smell like smoke. But can...can you hug me like you did when we were little, Allie? [sub]Thank you. Thank—thank you.[/sub] [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, May Thirty-First, 2673] My name is Mia Ana Hartley. It's May thirty-first, two-six-seven-three. Alecto #2. Mina. God. I still feel like my soul got squeezed out like a dishrag. I know I said that I wouldn't get attached to Sparkplug. But this isn't a [i]won't[/i] so much as a [i]can't[/i]. I don't have the energy anymore. I can't bring myself to care about another girl who isn't— Never mind. Sparkplug showed her Shift. It's bad. It's just...it's just psychosis. She starts hallucinating, getting delusions. She's only made one fullsync and episodes are already starting. She said that I was trying to kill her, ran away, and shut herself up for eight hours. They aren't giving us the drugs for Allie anymore. So now she just has to deal with the panic. I can't feel my arms and legs at all anymore. I'm going to cry. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, June Second, 2673] Mia Hartley. June second, two-six-seven-three. Twenty two now. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I'm sorry. Sis, Sparkplug, Jackie...even Mina, whoever you are. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If I was good enough then Priss would still be alive. Addie would still be here and happy. I didn't want—I didn't mean— I'm sorry. Fuck. No. Sortie in a few days. Maybe that'll help me out of this funk. Bye. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, -no date listed-] I've... I... ... ... ... I haven't...I haven't held my gun to my head since basic. ... ... ... Sparkplug's—Anita, she's— ...I'm sorry. God, Sparkplug, I'm so—I'm sorry. You trusted me to—to cover your back. But then I, I didn't check all the angles, and I, I, I just— Fuck. Fuck! [i]FUCK! WHY SHOULD'T I? WHY SHOULD I JUST PULL THE TRIGGER? I COULDN'T—[/i] ...Oh god. Allie, I... ... ... ... [i]You're a shit sister, Mia.[/i] [/hider] [/hider] [hider=Everything Goes Wrong] ...God. I still feel so bad about Sparkplug. I mean, it was just...it was just my fault. I can't even get around it, I just didn't watch all the angles. I'll...god. I'll be glad to move on from this topic. Or...well, the next topic isn't much better, is it? As you can probably tell from the section name. And you also probably remember how awful things got around that point. So I'm gonna try and gloss over things. Not going to put in my birthdays, all of the New Years...it's just going to be the highlights of awfulness. So it'll be a bit shorter, since I don't really like rewatching these and don't want to go over them again. Which ends with...well. You...know where this is going. [hider=Video Recording, February Sixth, 2674] My name is Mia Anastasia Hartley. The date is February sixth, two-six-seven-four. I'm twenty two years old. Siobhan keeps trying to talk to me. Sorry, kid. I mean, I'll talk to her, obviously. I'll be nice, I'll make peace between her and Mina whenever things go wrong, it's basically my job. But I'm not making a real connection with her. I can't. Not again. It hurts too much. So I've been spending most of what little spare time I have with Allie. Well, and Jackie, but...less so. God, if Allie saw me now, she'd be pissed. I mean...I know she can smell the smoke, no matter how much I try and hide it. At least I keep it out of the common area, out of the NCs and stuff. I've...I've earned this. It's fine. Fuck everyone else. ...It's so quiet now. Allie's all quiet now because her Shift has messed her up. Mina and Siobhan are both quiet by nature, even if they get at each others' throats from time to time. Jackie's...well. Her shift has started to get to her a little more. She's still cheerful and stuff, but...less. Her smile isn't as real, I guess, and she keeps to herself more. Whenever I walk out to the common room I feel like I'm seeing ghosts of the past. Like I can see young me and cheerful Allie, Priss laughing, Addie shaking her head with a smirk on her face, and Lucy smiling as she whittles in the corner. It's just...I don't know. Is this what it's like to feel old? Maybe. Who knows. Bye. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, April Twenty-eighth, 2674] My name is Mia Anastasia Hartley. The date is April twenty-eighth. I am twenty two years old. I'm glad I don't get attached. It hadn't been a full year, and Mina died. Nameless, faceless. What's the point of it all? Donovan said he found a new Alecto right away. Her name is Marina Martinez. Mina. Marina. I don't know. Maybe I'll start talking to her more once she makes it a few months. I dunno. At least Siobhan's still alive. I mostly expected her to die right off. Maybe she'll survive another day. At this point, I only care about Allie and Jackie. Poor Jackie. She can feel her emotions slipping away permanently, little by little. She's started keeping a journal like me, and the look on her face is just constant anguish. I feel so horrible for her. And Allie. God. Fairbanks. Fucking [i]Fairbanks.[/i] I've tried. I've tried so hard. Donovan tried too. But they won't renew her modamerizol. Watching her fall apart in panic more and more often is breaking my heart. Fuck. Where's my lighter? I need another cig. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, October Fourteenth, 2674] My name is Mia Anastasia Hartley. The date is October fourteenth, two-six-seven-four. I'm twenty three years old. Today, Marina saved Allie's life. Jumped out in front of her and mulched fuckers down while her drones fixed up [i]Blue Sky.[/i] Maybe I'll start being a little more involved with her. At least she deserves thanks for that. Cool shotgun, too. Allie is [i]really[/i] torn up, though. It's [i]bad[/i]. Really bad. I need to actually force her into her NC so the higher ups don't come down and, I don't know, use me as leverage on her like they used her once on me. It feels awful. I don't want them doing it to her. So even though I feel like a fuckin' [i]monster,[/i] I gotta keep doing it. The panic is getting worse, and the permanent effects are starting to ramp up too. Speaking of shifts, everything below my shoulders and thighs are permanently numb now. When I come out of the cockpit—doesn't need to be fullsync anymore—the temporary numbness creeps further across me. Last time the only thing that had sensation on my entire body was my sternum. I'm going to die soon, aren't I? ...I...fuck, I promised Allie I'd try to stop smoking. I can't light up. I'll try to deal without it. Good bye. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, February Sixth, 2675] My name is Mia Ana Hartley. Date is February sixth, two-six-seven-five. I'm twenty three. Everyone's still alive. And you know what, I'm starting to get fond of Marina. Bear in mind; not [i]attached.[/i] But fond. She's a bit devil-may-care and wild, and it's nice to have someone more excited back around here. I mentioned it already, but...everything's so quiet now. Jackie has to try even harder, and she's slipping. It's horrible. I hate it. So Marina, a fuckin...eighteen year old, I think? Eighteen year old kid with no shift just kinda throwing her weight around...god. It reminds me of... Well. You know. Before Priss died. [i]Haaahhhh.[/i] Allie said she wanted to talk to me about something important tonight. Does it make me a bad sister that I'm terrified? Well. I should go do that now. Bye. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, August Twenty-Thirt, 2675] My name is...fuck this. Fuck the stupid introduction. I know who I am. Siobhan's gone. That's three Megaeras down now. I miss Lucy. Got a new kid already again. Revolving door. Angry kid, calls herself Anya. I try to be nice to her, but the world's like a blur. I've got an intense feeling of dread building, and building, and building. Something's about to go wrong. Something's about to go horribly, horribly wrong. Fuck. Bye. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, -no date listed-] [RECORDING DELETED] [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, -no date listed-] [RECORDING DELETED] [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, -no date listed-] [RECORDING DELETED] [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, -no date listed-] [RECORDING DELETED] [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, March Fifth, 2676] There's... ... I just... Why? Why Why? Why? Just... I don't...I don't understand. We were—so many years. So many years that— I can't— How...how do I live now? I can't... What do I do without her? I... Please. Please, god, please, please, [i]please[/i], come back, you deserved better, you needed—why couldn't they just—why didn't they— [i]...Why?[/i] [/hider] [/hider] [hider=Aftermath] I... Fuck, it's still so raw. It's hard for me to write much about that. So I'm just going to try and move on to what happened afterwards. Because while it's not good...at least it's better. [i]Anything[/i] is better than going back there. [hider=Video Recording, June Second, 2676] ...What's the point anymore? It's like...it's like being [i]cut in half.[/i] Donovan said that he's looking for a new Melinoë now. [i][b]OVER MY DEAD BODY.[/b][/i] [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, August Eighth, 2676] I...I guess I'm...I'll try to...to keep going. My name is Mia Ana Hartley. The date is August eighth, two-six-seven-six. I am twenty five years old. ...Look at this. [b]HEY! COME BACK HERE, FUCKING BRAT![/b] Look at this. Look at this! [i]This[/i] is what they're trying to replace Allie with! [i]This![/i] Fucking...what did you say your name was? HEY! I'M TALKING TO YOU! [right]Ah...I...I'm...Pl—please—[/right] You see what the fuck I mean? God, it's some cruel fucking JOKE. Sirona. Your name is [i]Sirona![/i] [i]SIRONA![/i] SAY IT! [right]...p...please...[/right] Fine. Fine! Get the fuck out! What a fucking [i]joke.[/i] [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, December Nineteenth, 2676] My...my name is—fuck, [i]ow[/i]—Mia Ana Hartley. The date is December nineteenth, two-six-seven-six. I am twenty five years old. Jackie punched me in the face today. 'Course she went for one of the only places left that I've got sensation. Fuck. I was yelling at that little shit that they're trying to replace Allie with, she was being afraid as usual. Fuck, it makes me so MAD! Then Jackie spun me around and punched me in the right cheek. Hard. You can see the bruise already. Told me in her cold voice...god. She used to be so cheerful. Told me that I was acting like Addie when [i]she[/i] joined and that I [i]stopped[/i] her from picking on Jackie back in the day. It's not the same! It's NOT! Allie is—was— FUCK! [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, May Nineteenth, 2677] I... I realized something today. I...My name is Mia Anastasia Hartley. The date is May nineteenth, two-six-seven-seven. I am twenty five years old. I realized that... Sirona is [i]terrified[/i] of me. The only one that seems to tolerate her is Jackie. Marina ignores her. Anya screams at her. So why is she the most scared of me? ...I've done something awful, haven't I? I...god. Allie...you...you wouldn't want this. I'm sorry. I'll stop smoking. I'll—I'll try to be nice to Sirona. Please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, August Fourth, 2677] My name is Mia Ana Hartley. The date is August fourth, two-six-seven-seven. I am twenty six years old. That didn't work either. Sirona is never, ever going to forgive me, is she? Or, not [i]forgive.[/i] That's the wrong word. She's just...always going to be terrified of me. God, Jackie was so right. I'm just...there's no excuse. There really isn't. Sirona, you poor child, I'm sorry. I gave her something. She looked at me like it was going to explode. It was just one of the shells out of [i]Arbiter[/i] that I scratched a pattern in. I guess I channeled my Lucy for a minute, ha ha. I hope she keeps it. Sirona, Allie, I'm sorry. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, March Ninth, 2678] Sirona's dead. God. I feel sick. I don't even have much I can say. I never tried to know her. That poor, poor child. I need to do better next time. Sirona, I'm sorry. I won't do it again. [/hider] [hider=Video Recording, September Fourth, 2678] My name is Mia Anastasia Hartley. The date is September fourth, two-six-seven-eight. I waited for the emotion to come back into her voice after she got out of the cockpit, but it never did. Jackie's all gone. And now I've got nothing left either. There's no feeling. I need to be so careful. I can't do anything. I feel like a doll on a shelf, like if I breathe too hard, I'm going to fall apart. But...no. I can't. Donovan's gone AWOL. Nobody really knows why. With him gone, there's no formal commander of Tartarus Squadron anymore. So if it's going to stick around, then it's gonna need someone who can hold it together. I looked back and my last few logs. Look at me, wallowing in self-pity now that Donovan's gone. Hating myself for the fact that without him, there's no more Melinoë, there's no more Lyssa, there's nothing left. But no. Fuck that. Jackie's right. I've been such a stupid fool. Tartarus Squadron is my life. If they want to tear it apart, they're gonna need to go through me, Sorry, Allie. Sorry, Priss. Sorry, Addie. Sorry, Lucy. Sorry, Sparkplug. I'll kick the cigs. I'll stop drinking. I'll get my shit together. I'll do better next time. I promise. [/hider] Well...I guess that's all. I doubt this is going to reach you. Donovan. I doubt you're still using this datatool after deserting. But you never know. It could get there. And I think this was maybe more for me anyway. But if you do get it...thanks, Donovan. For everything. [i][b]Mia A. Hartley (Lyssa), Interim-Commander of Tartarus Squadron[/b][/i] [/hider] [/indent][/color] [b]Polaris Shift [color=WHITE]◢[/color][/b] [color=#807B84][indent]Mia's been a pilot for a long, long time, so it's lucky for her that her Shift is pretty mild compared to a lot of others. No debilitating sickness, no mental lapses, no panic attacks or personality bleed. No, her Shift has steadily removed her sense of touch. When she first started, she would just get numb fingers after fullsync, the kind you get in cold weather, that would last for a few hours before sensation would return. But after years and years of rigorous and constant military work, she's reached the point of permanent full-body numbness. She needs to be [i]really[/i] careful how she exercises, how she moves; she can't box anymore or anything, and she tries to let other people do the cooking instead of her since she can't feel the burns. But all told, she tells herself, it's not too bad. She's seen worse. Much, much worse. [/indent][/color] [b]Personal Mission [color=WHITE]◢[/color][/b] [color=#807B84][indent]Mia is an old hand at this. She's been though a lot of good times, and a lot of bad times. And much of her life has been spent and [i]devoted[/i] to her home, Tartarus Squadron. She's done a lot of bad things, and she knows that very well. But that doesn't mean a damn thing to her. Because all she wants right now is—Commander AWOL, Melinoë unassigned, massive friction between members—is to keep Tartarus Squadron together. Because if she doesn't, she just doesn't know what she's going to do anymore. [/indent][/color] [/cell][/row][/table][/COLOR]