It's less painful to look up at the sky than she remembers. The jacket on the floor is her anchor. The girl nestled into her arms is her light. The warmth of her, the weight of her, the scent of her (now half smothered in Bella's own), the sound of her breathing all make up the difference. The ugly pink blotch doesn't steal the floor out from under her legs. It doesn't threaten to pull her into it or promise death in its thousand horribly creative ways. It is huge and ugly, but that's all. 

"It's not that surprising, Dany. Why would Hades give us treasure? Why would Poseidon clear a path? They don't care. They're not here to [i]help[/i] us. The first god who ever answered my prayers wasn't a god at all, and the nicest thing any of the real ones have done is sit there staring at me without saying or doing anything. Bastard."

Her arms wrap themselves tight around her princess, as she pulls the other girl into her lap and envelopes her in a protective wall of fur, muscle, and fabric. Her head pivots on instinct, disguised by the sudden motion of her body. First this way and then that, looking about for signs of retribution due to her blasphemy. But no face appears, smiling or otherwise. She does not feel the grasp of disease in her body. She swears in relief. 

"While I was... alone, I spent a lot of time watching the rift. I hated it, but I had to. I couldn't stand looking at that backwards, broken, fucked up space station all the time, and there was nothing else for a break besides Prion Paula. Which I... look, don't judge me. You can't know what it's like. I don't want you to. In fact, the less you get it the better. 

But I looked, ok? Every day, I looked at that ugly fucking mouth in the middle of the ocean. Gods, this close it looks even more like the jaws of some monster or something. Makes me want to reach up there and just tear it to pieces, fuck. Because I, Dany I... your stars. I looked out at this sea of polychromatic puke and it burned me alive because I wanted you to be right. I wanted the stars to be just like you imagined when we were kids. And they weren't, and I wanted to kill them for it."

Her arms pull tighter around Redana. Bella bends her neck to bury her face in the spot where Dany's shoulder meets her neck. Her breath is hot against the skin. She plants the softest kiss there, and when she uncoils she is Strength. No tension fills her muscles, but they are as starship alloys anyway. The beating of her heart is slow, and even. No nerves, no doubt. She has her princess, and she isn't letting go.

"But in the end I'm glad it's here. Because of that I knew where to find you. I just had to point my skiff at the giant scar and hope that when I finally crashed, it'd be somewhere useful. And once we're on the other side of it, I'll never have to look at it again. So, there's that."

Confidence pulls Bella's face into a smile. No god stands behind her or lights her path, though back on the [i]Plousios[/i] a certain sword grows slightly warmer to the touch. What has she to fear from the Rift? Let it take what it will. If there is no Bella on the other side... whoever takes her place would at least be a better person. It's a choice. To believe the little girl who got pulled from that box was more real than the woman who'd murdered her way across the rotten carcass of the galaxy.