[color=silver][right][sub]TIMESTAMP — Tuesday, July 20th, 2021 | Mid-Afternoon || After Decky left Blue Hill
FT —[color=dc143c] Moredchai Boaz[/color] and  [color=E4DF9B]Antoine Beauregard[/color][/sub][/right][/color]
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[color=darkgray][indent][indent]After the frustrating and taxing conversation with Natalia had come to an end, the silence became less [i]comfortable[/i] and more [i]unbearably charged with tension[/i]. The music did little to help this so Mordechai was more than happy to peek out from under his beanie at one point and see the sign welcoming the car’s inhabitants back to Edenridge. After a moment’s thought over his plans for the rest of the day- [i]he still had to pick up Allegra before he headed with her the meet Rey Rey at the Edge like he’d agreed to last night, he still had to visit Danny’s grave like Jade suggested[/i]- Mordechai felt an overwhelming grip around his heart at the realization that he was already starting up on life again, already living for himself. Blue Hill had been a needed experience for everyone who went, but now that he was back in Edenridge Mordechai was already missing the support system his angels and Auntie Adora had supplied. Taking Tama’s beanie off and running his hands through his hair to make it presentable, he quietly requested that Tal drop him off in front of the Cafe Rochambeau so that he could visit another pillar of support to him.

Walking into Beau’s cafe in the early evening, sober and not even swaying in the cool breeze that swept around him when he swung the door open, Mordechai felt a moment of pride for himself that he hoped the ex-english teacher would share. Beau had a special place in the hearts of most Edenites, but the slowly-mending man that approached the counter had needed a little more of the man’s unyielding patience and wisdom than the rest of his peers. In the small time between the Serpent Dorms and the Lancaster home, the Boaz brothers had spent their nights under the Beauregards' roof. Beau had always been there, and Mordechai hasn’t talked to him in the past month and a half any more than he’d talked to his southie brothers. It was damn near disrespectful, but it was worth it to be showing up with some muscle, color, and squared shoulders instead of pale, slouched and shaking, trying desperately not to scratch at his arms.

He couldn’t imagine starting up the next chapter of his life without sharing it with one Antoine Beauregard first.

[color=dc143c]“Hey Beau,”[/color] He greeted as he slid into place on the stool straight across from the man, smile bright and lacking any of the tenseness or negativity that tended to cast shadow over one of his attractive features. [color=dc143c]“I never said it, but thanks for the garage sleepover last month, we all really needed it.”[/color]

[color=E4DF9B]“Ain’t no thing.”[/color] Antoine had lived by those three words for most of his adult life. Ain’t no thing. When said by most, it wasn’t anything special. However when said by him, in his thick Louisiana drawl, big booming but warm voice, the words carried a weight. One knew that when the old man said it, he meant it. There wasn’t anything that he wouldn’t do for those he cared for and even those he didn’t. Be it the shirt from his back, a roof overhead or just a nice word, family or stranger, Antoine always had their back and it was never a big deal. 

Beau had done much during his time as a teacher not to play favorites and for the most part he had stuck to that. Mordechai Boaz and his little brother Danny though? They held a special place in his heart. When Decky walked into his class six years ago for the first time, all black messy hair, a busted face and a strong smell of cigarettes, he knew that the boy would be a special case. Even when Mordechai threw everything back at him, Beau would never give up on the child and he never did. Seeing him now, with color in his cheeks and not so wearied look in his eye made the old man’s heart smile. [color=E4DF9B]“Colleen was just happy to see you again. I mean after she told me off, of course. You want something to drink?”[/color]

[color=dc143c]“If she didn’t tell you off first, would she be miss Colleen?”[/color] Mordechai replied to the warm man with a small laugh, already relaxed in his presence despite the fact that his back was facing the entrance and windows. He doesn’t have to keep his head on a swivel with Beau around. [color=dc143c]“I’ll just take a light roast with a shot and some cream, I still got a long day ahead of me,”[/color] He looked down at the counter a moment before thinking of who would be with him, realizing Allegra would kick his ass if he showed up without a drink for her. Knowing her order has changed since her time at the Diner in Brownsville, he questioned Beau. [color=dc143c]“Hey, the girl that’s been comin’ in here since I got back, Allegra- Latina, short as hell with short black hair and a New York accent- d’you remember what she usually gets?”[/color]

[color=E4DF9B]“You know me, I never forget a thing.”[/color] Beau replied as he picked up a to-go cup and stuck it beneath his machine. [color=E4DF9B]“Hazelnut white mocha, extra coffee shot right?”[/color] The older man with bear-like hands, picked up his handle and pressed it against the coffee grinder to get out his latest batch of fresh ground beans. He placed it down and tampered the grounds until flat and placed them in his machine. [color=E4DF9B]“Now I already know that you ain’t here just for a coffee or two.”[/color] As Beau pumped a few drops of white chocolate and hazelnut into the cup, he looked towards Decky with his big brown eyes edging over his glasses. [color=E4DF9B]“What’s on your mind son?”[/color]

[color=dc143c]“Never could get one past ya, could I,”[/color] he laughed while meeting Beau’s eyes, dark as night yet warm as a bright sunny day, and confessed, [color=dc143c]“I’m doin’ better and I wanted ta show ya, but I also wanted ta see ya before I headed to the Edge an put a little disappointment in your gaze,”[/color] he spread his arms out on either side of him rotating his torso a bit as if truly giving Beau a good look before dropping his forearms back down on the counter, face falling neutral as he said earnestly, [color=dc143c]“I’m goin’ back in, I miss ‘em all too much to be without ‘em any longer, but I’m not gonna be as ignorant about it before.”[/color]

Mordechai was loyal, despite everything, that was true. There were lines he wouldn’t cross- not many, but there nonetheless- but if he was loyal to you he would do damn near anything. Beau was there at thirteen Carlisle last month, he’d no doubt heard his and Rey Rey’s pathetic little confrontation where Mordechai was once again harmed by an adult he had put his trust, his faith, into. Beau would know just like Poppy and Jade knew just how much it meant for that to have happened, for him to have been called no more than a tool by the man he saw like an older brother, and Mordechai knew Beau would not like him returning under R2’s thumb.

[color=dc143c]“I’m goin’ back sober and with someone that’s real good at keepin’ me in check, but I’m also gonna be back at Phil’s part time so I got a legit income ta report. I got kids ta take care of now, can’t be all under the table.”[/color]

Of all the things that it could’ve been, Beau did not see that one coming. As the hissing of the coffee wand steaming the milk filled the silence, the ex police officer rallied through his memories and thoughts like an Olympic hurdler. He didn’t want Decky to go back into the life, the game. Antoine had spent years of trying and failing to get him out alive and he had failed every single time. And here he was again, failing because Mordechai had once again chosen the life that was going to take his. 

Of course the boy was trying to sandwich the idea with two good ones, the Allegra girl seemed to do wonders for him and Beau had no doubt that she could keep him grounded but that didn’t matter, grounded would never be enough to keep him alive. Having a straight job at the garage? That wouldn’t either. He could tell by the look in Decky’s eyes that he hadn’t come to be convinced away from the Serpents and he didn’t come for a blessing. No words would change the boy's mind. Placing the cups down, Beau rubbed his beard and knew that, likely for the last time, he would say his peace to Mordechai.

[color=E4DF9B]“Son, I spent years trying to teach you right from wrong, good and evil. I tried to teach you that middle way, the grey way and that is the way you walk now. There ain’t a man on this planet that can knock you off of that path except yourself but I already know that’s not what you want.”[/color] Antoine called his fists and placed them down onto the counter. [color=E4DF9B]“You remember what Colleen always said? You cannot lose if you do not play. Now you ain’t been playing for a while but if you gonna start up again, you need to know, the rules change, they change so fast. There ain’t no winning.”[/color] He said emphatically. [color=E4DF9B]“Only surviving to the next round. The game is the game.” [/color]

He turned and finished up making Decky and Allegra’s drinks. He placed both cups into a holder and placed them to one side. [color=E4DF9B]“Whatever your role is, imma let you know now that I ain’t never gonna give up on you. You’re better than what you think you are. You deserve more than that life out there and I don’t wanna hear that you don’t. I’m an old man now, Mordechai. I don’t wanna outlive you.”[/color]

Mordechai sat silently as he listened to Beau’s words, advice that told you exactly how he felt without the judgment you expect from others, and absorbed everything the wise man told him. He knew he was disappointing Beau by returning to the Serpents, he knew his was breaking the man’s heart a little- he could see how Beau was frailer than he used to be, his skin a bit more papery and thin and the slightest tremor in his hand as he set down the carrier. He was breaking an old man’s heart. But however much he wanted to do what he knew Beau hoped for and live a life outside one of Eden’s whirlpool of danger and chaos, he didn’t know how. 

Sure, Beau was right when he said Mordechai was out of the life for a while, but he was only partially right. The few short months after he’d left the Serpents and before Danny’s death, he’d been out, but since then Mordechai has made his way on hitchhiking, odd jobs and turning tricks, not by making a better life for himself outside Eden’s influence.

[color=dc143c]“You’re the best teacher I ever had, Beau, and one of the best people I know,”[/color] He told the man steadily. He was practically selfish with how he’d not shown Beau his gratitude all these years, left it unsaid under the excuse that it didn’t need to be and the reality of being afraid of showing that vulnerability despite everything the man had seen him through. Seen them through. [color=dc143c]“Ya helped me raise Danny, but ya also helped ta raise me, and I need ya ta understand how much that means ta me, and that I’m really aware of it now,”[/color] He thought back to the time that he had skipped his last classes of the day to go pick Danny up from middle school, the two brothers playing around in the highschool gym. Decky had been holding the basketball above his head and Danny had tackled him to get it. They had been laughing on the ground until the ball stopped rolling once it hit Beau’s feet, then both boys had gone extremely silent and anxious, expecting punishment. They’d flinched when his voice raised and he’d immediately changed tactics, sitting the boys on the bench and explaining his own disappointment and [i]worry[/i] with an anecdote from his own past thrown in to show where he gained his wisdom. 

Mordechai had seen the same look back then in Beau’s eyes, the exact worry the man had just expressed in current time unable to stay completely hidden. Mordechai knew Beau didn't want to survive any more of the young adults he considered his children, but he also knew that the day Beau died was going to be the day that many of the lost souls of Edenridge became orphans twice over. It would mean another gravestone for Mordechai to express his sorrows and regrets over. He didn’t even want to think about Beau’s death, but he realized that by returning to the Serpents, he was forcing his father figure to imagine his. He guessed it was only fair play to turn it around.

He wouldn’t disagree with Beau anymore like he used to about him deserving a better life. Whether he believed it or not, he knew it was true, but he had no idea how to manifest it yet and he needed something that he knew. He knew the Serpents, the job, and he knew it was a steady income. Maybe he would officially retire again some day, like most of the parents of his Serpent siblings, but right now he needed the foundation he’d built- the family- to stand solid until he could finally see the finish line. He would survive until then, but on the side he would actually start [i]living[/i] too.

[color=dc143c]“I don’t know if I ever told ya this, but I really don’t wanna die,”[/color] He finally spoke up again, his voice rough with the emotion that conversations with Beau evokes. [color=dc143c]“Didn’t then and don’t now, I’m actually terrified of it despite how many times it’s already almost happened,”[/color] He looked into Beau’s eyes, trying to send the man all the appreciation he’s ever built up for him, trying to reinvigorate the strong line of his shoulders which had dropped into a defeated curve while he was steaming the milk for Allegra’s drink. [color=dc143c]“I’m tryin’a figure out how ta live right now, and you’ve opened up so many paths for me, but I’ve failed ‘em all so far. Ya know I never promise anythin’, but I’m tellin’ you I’m not gonna be takin’ as many risks as I did when I was younger, and I won’t be tweaked out the whole time either. But I did swear ta Pops that I would come back ta her no matter what, no matter how. I’m just makin’ my decisions and hopin’ that I’m better at it than I used ta be. I didn’t die before ‘cause I had Danny who needed me, now I’ve got my kids, and I’m not livin’ only for them but it’s a helluva lot of incentive ta keep as much life inside me as possible.”[/color]

He grabbed his drink from the carrier and took a sip, letting the hot drink clear his throat before rolling the cup between his hands while he continued. [color=dc143c]“I ain’t got blood here, Alana and Beni don’t count-”[/color] He bit out the names like he was trying to get poison off his tongue. His parents did more to ensure his death than they ever did to keep him alive. [color=dc143c]“-like remember how I couldn’t even do the lineage project ya assigned ‘til ya gave me alternate guidelines? Ya had me do a family tree, but a [i]chosen[/i] family tree. I was too prideful ta do it at the time, but I had a branch with you and miss Colleen I ended up not gettin’ the balls ta add in. But it still showed me that I need family. [i]You’re[/i] my family Beau, Pops and Jade, Mika, Legs and the kids. But also all my brothers and sisters in the Serpents. People I love. Everyone with that patch on their jacket, that ink on their skin? If somethin’...happens ta me, if I do [i]die[/i], that means Viva and Chai are taken care of even if they don’t know it. Bein’ a legacy creates just as much blessin’ as it can curses, but I’m hoping even if it ain’t the [i]right[/i] choice, it ain’t the [i]worst[/i] choice neither. I’m tryin’a be responsible too though, I’m gonna take some of that money out each earn and build ‘em a savin’s account. I’ve already repurposed the college fund I’d set aside for Danny into the start’a it.”[/color]

Beau couldn’t deny that even though he hated Decky’s plan, he was proud of the boy for thinking first about his family and friends. He knew then that at least some of the lessons he had tried to teach had sunk into the soil of the boy's being and taken root like a mighty oak. Antoine knew that none of the kids he taught, nor his own biological kids would ever be perfect. To each their own, their flaws and dreams. He wept for them in both sadness and joy. He loved them all with a fervent passion for them to be better than what society had deemed for them. Had Beau done his job? He wasn’t so sure but seeing the man that Mordechai Boaz was growing into, made it easier for him to believe so. [color=E4DF9B]“Be smart. Be hopeful. Do good, son.”[/color]

[color=dc143c]“You’re one’a the only people I know that actually practices what ya preach,”[/color] Mordechai praised in response. As he’s already said, he knew he was breaking this man’s heart, but he always was really good at breaking the hearts of the people he cared about even when he thought he was doing what was best. [color=dc143c]“I’ll do my damndest not ta die before ya, Beau. I’m not promisin’ nothin’ while we all live in this town but ya have my word that I’ll at the [i]least[/i] be fightin’ ta live, not just survive. You’ll see me retired one day.”[/color]

[color=E4DF9B]“I better.”[/color] The guardian of Edenridge lifted the small hatch counter and took a step through it into the cafe where he stood before Decky. [color=E4DF9B]“A man must live by his word.”[/color] He placed his hand on the dark haired young man’s shoulder and smiled. [color=E4DF9B]“Wherever you go and whatever you do, I’ll always be proud of you, Mordechai. You and Danny will always be my boys.”[/color] Antoine couldn’t help but think of some of his failures, the children he couldn’t save. Charlie Decker, Cameron Hyde, the Grimm brothers. All consumed by a darkness that ate away at the very foundation of such a beautiful town and its people. Even his own children, Desmond, Delphine, Genevieve, Evangeline and Zara had all felt the black hand of Edenridge wrap its fingers around their throats. The soul of children dances on a pinhead, threading the needle between light and dark. If Decky were to fall, he hoped it would be one way and not the other. [color=E4DF9B]“Believe that.”[/color]

He did believe that, he really did. Suddenly, with those words, Beau’s hand didn’t feel like the only one on his shoulder. Beau was talking about both of them, Mordechai and Danny, and it was as if it had allowed his brother to join in on the moment from the other side so they could feel him there with them too. He could swear his brother was standing there, his one hand on Mordechai’s shoulder while the other held on to Beau’s like he was completing a circuit.

[i]You and Danny will always be my boys.[/i]

He’d initially raised Danny himself despite his young age, but something Mordechai’s been too confused over to accept until recently is that Beau, Phil and the other mechanics, and all the Serpent parents had raised [i]him[/i] as well as Danny. Mordechai and Danny managed to be orphans despite their parents living a street away, but they’d also gained a handful of adults through this that claimed them as their own while never requiring the same thing back. Never expecting the same thing back. He and Danny had lived in Beau’s house, learned manners from miss Colleen that no Serpent parent ever thought to teach. They’d slept under their roof and it was the most restful couple months of their lives. Mordechai had no blood in this town, but the amount of family he’d gained while being so stupidly blind to it was staggering.

Quickly- faster than his strike in the heat of a fight- Mordechai reached out and fisted his hand in the front of Beau’s shirt and pulled the larger man in, crashing their chests together and wrapping his arms around the man, shoving his face into his neck. For the first time, Mordechai Boaz initiated a hug with Antoine Beauregard, and he was holding him as if he never wanted to let go.

[color=dc143c]“Thank you,”[/color] He whispered to the heart of the town, words slightly muffled with his face still buried in Beau’s neck as he tried to stave off the tears burning at his closed eyelids. [color=dc143c]“For bein’ the father we needed even when we couldn’t see or accept it. I see it now, and I’m so [i]fuckin’ grateful[/i] that ya gave us so much’a you.”[/color]

Beau could feel Decky trembling in his arms as the two men embraced. He wasn’t entirely sure what had happened to his charge that day but something inside of Mordechai had changed or at the very least, a part of his soul had been unlocked and the floodgates opened. Antoine sincerely hoped that whatever was filling the young man’s spirit was enough to guide him out of the dark waters that he was wading through. The men were lost in each other's arms and the life they shared, ignoring the world around them as it fell quiet. For a few moments longer, Beau held the sobbing child before backing away and placing both hands on Decky’s shoulder, flashing him his massive toothy smile. [color=E4DF9B]“Ain’t no thing.”[/color]

[color=dc143c]"No,"[/color] Mordechai countered as he smiled back, wiping tears away from his reddened eyes. [i]ain’t no thing[/i] was how Beau felt about it. To the man with the heart of a saint and the actions of a hero, doing his best for everyone he knew was no big deal, but to the victims he’s saved and the lost souls he raised? Well, to them, [color=dc143c]"It's just [i]every[/i]thing."[/color][/indent][/indent][/color]