[color=lightgray][right][sub]TIMESTAMP: Tuesday Afternoon
Featuring: [color=eee8aa][b]Winona Deere-Echohawk[/b][/color] & [color=7C7A39]Kerry Casey[/color][/sub] [/right]
[center][img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/230507/e7f6f76cdab17c785188409740ebce05.png[/img]
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[img]https://i.imgur.com/gsNNknC.png[/img]
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[indent][indent]Moments like these were always hard to watch. Their pain masked behind a smile, the Deere-Echohawk twins watched their mother as she picked berries and placed them in her basket. They watched their mother slip away every day, her memory of them fading, and as much as they wanted to show they were hurting, they couldn’t. Certainly not in front of her and not in front of the village they called home. 

That was the downside of being their father’s children. They had pride and didn’t want to be seen as weak. Add their mother’s genetics, and now they were prideful warriors who felt obligated to care for everyone else but themselves. The twins knew how to survive, and survive they would. Through love and patience, they were determined to keep bringing their mother back, as many times a day as she needed them to, no matter how heartbreaking it was to them. 

To those on the outside, they wouldn’t know how bad Elizabeth was getting but to her direct family and to the Coldwinds, they saw the photograph book of her mind losing its pictures, its memories. There was a link to some old PTSD traumas, unresolved pains, and false-guilt that could no longer be repressed. A past the twins knew nothing about seeing how their parents focused on the precious moments and taking care of the village rather than harboring on their personal histories unless it was meant for a story. 

Elizabeth wasn’t completely gone. She was still there and the twins were adamant of finding things to bring her back, like the books she shared with their father, that brought a combination of happiness and deep memory. She still remembered her daily routine, especially when it was time to go and read to the kids. It seemed everything at the beginning of her life was all still there, what seemed to be fading was them. And maybe it’s because they were just like their father in so many ways. 

It wasn’t until Elizabeth called her son by his father’s name, Bright Star, that Tennessee couldn’t hold it together. It didn’t take too long to convince her mother to start walking back home. Her mother kept calling her Komeha’e, which was the Chief’s first wife. Someone that Elizabeth clearly held dear. With the help from Kerry, getting back on track and shifting gears was quick and easy. He spoke in her mother’s poetic language, which was storytelling, and talked about the many horses he tended to. As they walked down the path, further and further away from the strawberry field, Ten was given the space he needed to sit in his emotions. 

In time, they returned to the cabin and Winnie was able to get her mother comfortable in the living room to watch her cartoons until she fell asleep. When she finally did fall asleep, Winnie tucked her mother in, kissed her forehead and tiptoed outside. Going on the porch, where Kerry was waiting, she joined him and leaned her head on the column. She had to go to work soon. [color=eee8aa]“Sorry about that. I don’t think Ten’s ever going to forgive himself for almost crying in front of you.”[/color] 

[color=7C7A39]“It ain’t less manly to cry in front of another man.”[/color] It was strange to see how different people treated dementia. Kerry had seen it first hand when he was younger. He witnessed the early signs with his grandfather and the full thing with his sister's ex boyfriend Walker’s father. It was a hell of a thing for everyone involved: a slow way to die and a slow way to watch someone die. He had borne the sight of people being treated with tenderness and care, like a newborn babe. Yet here on the Rez, Elizabeth was treated the same, albeit with that extra care. It was fascinating.

Since his arrival at Blue Hill, Kerry had tried to keep to himself and just focus on the horses he had been asked to tame and take care of. He enjoyed spending time with his long lost mother and stepfather, as well as their new family. He made friends like Tank and Rio but he found that he was linked deeper with the Echohawks, Tennessee and especially Winona. She was, to him, a light in a dark room. The minute he saw her riding on her horse with Fallon down the Main Street he knew he had to know her. 

Every night, Kerry waited until closing time at Aponi’s Heart for Winnie to finish her shift and he would offer to walk her home. And every night he did that, she would say no. Until the day she didn’t. On that day, Elizabeth had taken a bad turn and Winnie definitely needed someone to lean on. So Kerry was there, as a friend, which he was happy to be. For her, he would be whatever she wanted him to be.

[color=7C7A39]“The amount of men I saw bawl in their bunks or whose tears I watched dry up instantly in the desert. It can’t really be fathomed and it’s my something to judge by.”[/color] Tipping his hat up and resting his foot on the bottom stair of the Echohawk cabin, the cowboy looked upwards at the incomprehensible beauty of the native girl with a half smile, his lip curled to one side. [color=7C7A39]“And how’re you doing?”[/color]

[color=eee8aa]“Processing, I guess,”[/color] Winona shrugged, speaking earnestly and from the heart. Truth be told, she didn’t know how she should feel and if she were sad, she wouldn’t know until she was already crying. Emotions hit her hard and suddenly. Even before her father passed away she was like this. Her mind was wired in a way where her priorities were at the forefront and everything else? Like her sadness? Placed in a cupboard, forgotten until it decided to come out on its own.  Until then, Winnie made sure to keep a good head on her shoulders, or at least, she tried to. 

[color=eee8aa]“I know I’m sad but I can’t feel it much,”[/color] she admitted, gently peering down at the man who occupied most of her mind most days. [color=eee8aa]“I imagine when things start slowing down, it’ll all come crashing in. At least I hope so…”[/color] she trailed off, wondering if it was weird that at this moment in time she couldn’t feel the dread that haunted her brother. She hadn’t cried since her father died and maybe this was her way of building walls. A way to protect herself from pain. There was sadness in her eyes but a clear disconnect from her mind and heart.  Winnie was never good at processing grief well. [color=eee8aa]“Should I be sad? More so than I am, I mean.”[/color]

[color=7C7A39]“Everybody processes everything differently.”[/color] Kerry admitted as he professed a further step up the old wooden porch. [color=7C7A39]“Some people can’t get real emotional, like a Mama. She’s wilder than a hurricane. My little sister and cousin are like that too.”[/color] He took a further step forward until he was standing next to the raven haired beauty and rested his hat on a nearby table. [color=7C7A39]“My Dad, he had some loss. You know? More than any man probably should and he would lash out in this rage. It was a wildfire burning any living thing on the prairie.”[/color] He ran his forever dirt stained hands through his dirty blonde hair, shaking away the summer sweat. [color=7C7A39]“I think you’ve experienced a devastating loss before and because of that, you’ve closed your heart to feeling it again because you need to let everybody else feel it first.”[/color]

Kerry placed his hand on Winnie’s back and offered to her the gift of a full smile. [color=7C7A39]“And that’s ok, you know? Certain people feel what they need in the quiet moments. In the silence they let the weight of their pain be carried off by the wind. Problem is, the wind always brings it back unless you find someone to share the weight with.”[/color]

Feeling his tender touch on her back, Winona locked her brown eyes with his, carefully listening to him. Kerry was the type of handsome that radiated from his heart-loving soul. The girls on the reservation would only see who he is at face value, and he was handsome, don’t get her wrong. Just by his face alone, he had all the features that would make any girl swoon but when Winnie looked at him, she never turned away from his stare. Never let her gaze wander. She focused on the depth of his eyes to the Cowboy twang and pleasant expressions of his voice. She focused completely on him like he was the most important person to her, like he was her world and without him, she wouldn’t know what she’d do.  

That was how Winnie made people feel. She made them feel special. She gave them her undivided attention and put them first, before herself. Even if what she had with Kerry was likely different, she wouldn’t see it until it came crashing in. That’s just how she was. That’s how she always was. [color=eee8aa]“Sometimes it feels like I’ve known you all my life. You’ve been on the Res for how long now?”[/color] The question was mostly rhetorical. She had a long day so she wasn’t going to drop a guess. She just knew it would be weird if he suddenly left and she didn’t have him to go to. 

Their friendship started off as walks from Aponi’s to her house and slowly progressed into more and now, when they were apart she felt his absence and missed him. Missed him far more than she’d ever say out loud. Truth be told, she didn’t understand how he became so important to her but he did and she knew without him, she would feel this deep sadness that she presently tries to avoid whenever she can. The closer she got to him, the more vulnerable she felt. She didn’t know if she liked it. [color=eee8aa]“Once upon a time we were strangers and now you’re the person I’m most comfortable with. It’s… hard to explain.”[/color]

[color=7C7A39]“I don’t think it needs to be explained.”[/color] Kerry looked out across the open fields that sat before the Echohawk house and spread out towards the Blue Hill Reservation. It was tranquil here. Soft wind blowing through well manicured brush and whistling across the distant tree line. He had grown up in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains and the Yellowstone, deep in the Wyoming territory where buffalo graze and blades of grass could change to specs of sand or mounds of snow in a single step.  Yet there was something different about Blue Hill. Something special and magical. It helped wash away the trouble or perhaps it was the people? [color=7C7A39]“It is what it is and we are what we are. Don’t need no more explaining than that.”[/color]

He returned his gaze to the beguiling indigenous woman and brushed a strand of her jet black hair behind her ear. [color=7C7A39]“You feel whatever you need to, whenever you need to. Nobody got the right to judge you. You’re entitled to be who you are.”[/color]

There were times, times like these, that Kerry Casey left Winona absolutely speechless. They say looks can be deceiving but when she looked at him, she knew that he was who he was, no excuses.  Smiling at him in response to his gesture, she subtly leaned into his hand before turning away to look at the pastures, the fields and the land, just like he was doing seconds before. She crossed her arms, deep in thought. The silence between them was welcomed because they had each other and there wasn’t always a need for words. Their presence alone did all the talking for them.  

When she was ready, she spoke up, [color=eee8aa]“Ten’s going to graduate soon and follow my dad’s footsteps.”[/color] She remembered when her brother brought it up, this dream he didn’t want to let go, anxious at her reaction, knowing this was a sore spot for her. [color=eee8aa]“I know we need more lighthorsemen, and my brother is driven. Once he sets his mind on something, he commits and goes above and beyond. I just…,”[/color] her voice trailed off, thinking back on her 21st birthday, the gunshots echoing in her mind.  [color=eee8aa]“My dad hasn’t been gone for that long and I don’t know if I could handle losing Ten like that.” [/color]

Kerry sighed a little through his nose before his hands traveled from the Win’s lower back to her shoulder, his other hand soon followed as he supported her. [color=7C7A39]“I think you can handle more than you believe you can.”[/color] He let his calloused fingers add some reassuring pressure to her shoulders. [color=7C7A39]“You’re strong but don’t feel like you have to force yourself to be. It makes sense to be frightened, to be scared. Hell, I'm scared too. Ten’s an idiot.”[/color] A soft laugh escaped from the ranch hand’s mouth. [color=7C7A39]“But he’s a good man, with a good heart and a big appetite for life. He’s about to enter a dangerous part of his life but also one of the most rewarding. To protect one’s fellow man, it ain’t something to be taken lightly. It’s the highest honor there is.”[/color]

He would be lying if he had said he had joined the rangers to protect his fellow man. Kerry had only enlisted to escape from the clutches of Blackhat and the Outlaws. Yet had found a purpose in the deserts of war. He had found a sense of duty and responsibility. Better than most, the cowboy could understand Ten’s desire to do more and he knew that it would do wonders for his best friend by giving him pieces of himself that he was missing. Still, that didn’t change the fact that finding oneself might mean hurting pieces of others. Kerry had lost track of the lives he had taken in pursuit of victory but had not lost track of the people at home he hurt along the way. His mother and sister were those that suffered the most. 

Taking a chance, Kerry wrapped his arms around Winona’s upper body and held her safely in his arms as they looked out across the sea of green. [color=7C7A39]“Plus Fallon is terrifying and will protect him better than anyone else ever could.”[/color]

He was right. Fallon was a force of nature that no one but Pava could go up against. Growing up with those two, she always felt like she was chasing after them, to keep up with the amount of sheer will they had to achieve whatever they set their minds on. They refused to be underestimated or taken for granted. They refused to let men look down on them. They refused to be seen as less then. They refused to be seen as weak. Strong women they were, and to this day, Winnie looked up to them. 

Time and time again, Fallon and Pavati would tell her that strength was more of a mindset than anything and while they had physical strength, what she had was spiritual strength. Since she was little, Winnie had sharp senses that only grew as she blossomed into a beautiful woman, full of light, love and compassion. Within her, there was stillness and a sanctuary, as she felt everything around her deeply. For her, life only made sense because she saw it as a mystery and didn’t try to conceptualize and search for the meaning. When you quiet the mind, the soul will speak and that is how she’s chosen to live her days. Quietly, with love as her compass. 

When Kerry wrapped his arms around her, she wasn’t taken by surprise. Winnie wondered if she should’ve been but him holding her close, like she was something worth protecting, felt natural. It felt right. Everything about them felt connected from the first day they looked into each other’s eyes to now as they stood in the silence of nature.  [color=eee8aa]“Do you consider yourself a protector, Kerry?”[/color] she breathed, leaning her head against him so she could feel his warmth.

[color=7C7A39]“I try to be.”[/color] Kerry rested his chin on the top of her head, breathing in her scent of wildflowers. [color=7C7A39]“There’s a lot of stuff in my life that I wish I could’ve protected more or maybe even differently but you just gotta play the cards you're dealt, you know?”[/color] He thought back through significant moments in his life, where metaphysical road split and he chose one way rather than the other. He thought about his father and their ranch. His mother and her desperate plea to escape. In the midst of it all his little sister and cousins, whom he shielded for years from a fury that rivaled a God. Kerry could see the face of every soldier that died by his side, of every insurgent starting down the barrel of his gun. When he slept, his penance, haunted in his dreams for the choices he made, for being a protector. [color=7C7A39]“All I know is if I’ve got something worth protecting, I’ll hold it until I can’t no more.” [/color]

Kerry gently kissed the back of Winnie’s head. [color=7C7A39]“All I know is Ten definitely has something worth protecting. This place, these people, you. If I were him, ain’t nothing stopping me from watching out. Cos you’re worth protecting. I’d shoot down the devil himself if he rode down these borders.”[/color] 

Another silent response. 

Winona pondered, wondering if her next question was worth asking. She wanted to know. She didn’t know why but she wanted to hear his response. Cocooned by his protective nature, feeling the tangible thread in the air that linked them together, she wondered what their shared truth was. They danced around each other and their feelings and then had profound experiences like this, where she felt emotionally vulnerable, anxious and safe, all at the same time. Her voice was soft, nearing a hushed tone, as she finally spoke, taking her own risk, albeit verbally, [color=eee8aa]“What about love? Do you have someone worth loving?”[/color]   

This moment was filled with something he could not explain. As they shared a warm embrace and words of encouragement and support and ethereal meaning, the topic turned to love. Kerry was no fool. He knew where the sharp edge of the question was pointed; directly at his heart. She wanted to hear him say the words. Words that held the most meaning and could mean a thousand different things to an infinite amount of people.

[color=7C7A39]“I do.”[/color] His eyes fell upon her face as he spoke. [color=7C7A39]“I have someone who is rarer than any jewel. She’s more beautiful than the night sky and wilder than a stampede of buffalo charging down some unfortunate that has crossed their path.”[/color] There could be no doubt in her mind, she had to know he was talking about her. Kerry had loved her from the moment he landed at the Reservation. That first night in Aponi’s where Winnie threatened to kick him out if he caused any nonsense cowboy shit. [color=7C7A39]“And you? Do you have someone?”[/color]

[color=eee8aa]“Mhm, I do,”[/color] Winnie confessed, reciprocating Kerry’s devotion that she knew boiled inside him for a while now. [color=eee8aa]“He came on steed not like a chivalrous knight but as a troubled man, burdened by his past.”[/color] She shifted herself so that she could get a better look at his face, not wanting to say anymore without him seeing that she meant every word. Days went by and now they could share them together. There was no one else she would rather share her time with than Kerry Casey. 

Maybe, what they had needed no explanation. Maybe, what they had was all they needed to define their truth. Maybe, what they had was exactly what was meant for them. A love so profound it would last even after they died, just like the love her parents had that her mother grasped onto each day to not lose herself to her disease. Everlasting and their’s. Something that inspired them to fight and keep going. Something not worth letting go. Something that would make her father proud that she found, all on her own, when she wasn’t even looking. 

[color=7C7A39][i]It is what it is. We are what we are.[/i] [/color] 

She couldn’t have said it any better. 

[color=eee8aa]“He admits to his faults and shortcomings and strives to be a better version of himself,”[/color] Winnie tenderly smiled up at him, throwing caution to the wind to speak from the heart. Something she was afraid to do, out of fear of replacing her father. [color=eee8aa]“Like the warmth of the all-encompassing sun, he shines on me. Like the changing wind that touches everything, he moves those around him forward. He came to me and put me between my life and expectations. He came to me in a dream, and I’m grateful,”[/color] she gazed into his eyes, her heart exposed and open for him to grab. She adored him. There was no way he could think otherwise. She loved him. [color=eee8aa]“I’m grateful he found me and I found him.” [/color]

With a hand on either side of her face, Kerry leaned down to kiss the smaller woman who was radiating love from her body in his arms. He had wanted to feel her lips on his for so long and now they had it. As they merged into one, the fire in his soul and electricity in his blood exploded in an eruption of elements. He backed her against the support pillar of the porch when he felt her give herself more to him. During a break in the kiss, Kerry brushed her hair away from her face and look deep into those big dark eyes. [color=7C7A39]“Is this what you want?”[/color]

[color=eee8aa]“You, Kerry,”[/color] Winona cupped his face, and at his lips’ touch she blossomed. [color=eee8aa]“I want you.”[/color] There was a rush of helplessness inside her as she yielded to her desires. A rare thing for her. She felt herself weak in his hold as he supported her, and directed her body, pressing it against the pillar. There were wild tremors along her nerves as she insisted on another kiss. Drawing him in with her gaze, she laid her mouth on his and surrendered to this sensation. Surrendered herself to him. There was a sudden and abrupt thought that interrupted her yearning to get completely lost in the moment. Anxiously, she pulled away and revealed, [color=eee8aa]“I’ve never been with anyone else.”[/color]

Kerry smiled reassuringly towards Winona and made sure to give her the space she needed. [color=7C7A39]“We don’t have to do anything.”[/color] He took a step back and placed his hands in his pockets. [color=7C7A39]“We can take this as slow as you want.”[/color] He tilted his head and allowed himself to smile fully, a true rarity when it came to Kerry Casey. [color=7C7A39]“But I want you to know, I’ll always wait. I ain’t going nowhere. I’ve wanted you from the minute I got here, I can wait as long as it takes.”[/color]

He was saying all the right words. Winnie knew he meant what he said and yet, her heart sank when he backed away from her, which ended this dream just as quickly as it started. It was her fault for admitting her lack of experience and now he was respecting her boundaries, which was the right thing to do. She knew it was the right thing to do but then why did she feel a painful sadness like she did something wrong? [color=eee8aa]“You have a handsome smile, Kerry,”[/color] Winnie whispered, before putting her walls back up. 

She considered to herself that maybe this was a mistake and it was too soon for them to have taken a chance. If she had just kept quiet and not talked about what was on her mind, she wouldn’t have felt those things and wouldn’t have known how his lips felt. She was so stupid to think this was the right time and that he wanted her just as bad as she wanted him. He was a gentleman and that was a good thing. She should be more understanding. She was good at understanding the wants and needs of others. If he thought space was what they needed, then that’s exactly what she’d give.

Pulling her phone out of her back pant’s pocket, she checked the time and sighed in relief at a clear escape from this situation. [color=eee8aa]“Thank you. For this,”[/color] she smiled, easing her way past him, walking to the front door of her house, [color=eee8aa]“I need to get ready but I’ll see you later?”[/color] 

[color=7C7A39]“I’ll be there before closing time.”[/color] Kerry took a step closer to her, the smile still plastered on his handsome face. [color=7C7A39]“Somebody’s gotta walk you gone right?”[/color] He moved forward, placing his hand atop hers which was gripping the open door and kissed her again. Now that he had tasted the fruit of his love, he would take every chance he could to have it again. Leaning back, his nose grazed hers as he looked into those pretty dark eyes. [color=7C7A39]“If you can’t see me, I’ll be at the table at the back.”[/color] Kerry turned and picked up his hat, placing it back upon his head. [color=7C7A39]“Just watching someone worth protecting and someone worth loving.” [/color]

[color=eee8aa]“I’ll see you tonight,”[/color] she softly responded, her knees growing weak at the second kiss. She needed some time with herself to tune into her emotions, and see what was the best way of moving forward. She was anxious, which could be felt in her throat and through her veins.  He wasn’t going to change his routine and the signs were all there, he wanted her. Yet why did she care so much about how badly he wanted her? 

Helpless and confused, she watched him walk away. When he was down her porch and nearing her mailbox, she closed the door, hiding her terrified face as the nerves ate at her. Resting her forehead on the door, she muttered, [color=eee8aa]“How am I going to focus tonight?”[/color]
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