[right][sub][b][u]TIMESTAMP:[/u][/b] FLASHBACK || Afternoon | Monday, July 19th, 2021
After [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/posts/5433110]Finding Neverland[/url] & Before [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/posts/5446470]Ain't No Thing[/url]
An [@Aces Away] & [@Venus] Collaboration
Featuring [color=7B68EE]Natalia Belmonte[/color] & [color=dc143c]Mordechai Boaz[/color][/sub][/right]
[hr]
[center]
[img]https://img.roleplayerguild.com/prod/users/411befbd-bd22-49a1-8b64-7e0c41361322.png[/img]

[img]https://img.roleplayerguild.com/prod/users/da62db7e-0c7b-42a5-a517-0502cb300c0f.png[/img][/center][hr]

[indent][indent][color=darkgray]
After his talk with Mitena, Mordechai had tagged in Poppy and made his way back up to his room to get his bookbag and various weapons. Weapons that he had never even needed in the first place, much like the night he’d entered Edenridge High’s gym upon his return to town. Strapping up was his first response, creating the option of [i]becoming[/i] the weapon to be aimed or the shield to protect, and it wasn’t a habit one easily dropped. Expecting violence had been part of his life for literally longer than he could remember. He took a few minutes to gather the rest of his loose items before dropping both his bag and himself onto his bed. He waited in his room, ready for when Tal came up to say she was ready to go, staring at a picture on the nightstand between the two beds and trying to use the reference to clear up the blurry faces of his past.

The picture was from their second visit, a mere few months from the first, and contained the entire Briteson-Kraeter crew as well as Adora, Danny, and himself. The adults were all standing in the back, Kamilla leaned against Quintel while the man had his arm around Zeti’s shoulder. Tama was leaning down past her husband, whose hand was on Jonie’s head, whispering something into a 17 year-old Adora’s ear from where the girl stood in front of her sister and brother-in-law. The picture captured the exact moment that the young native girl had begun laughing uproariously while her older sister’s smirk peaked out from behind her hand. Sitting cross legged on the ground were Maliq and Jonie, who weren’t even Serpents yet, and between the twin flames sat Mordechai and Danny. While Maliq was sitting with his back leaned against his parents, Jonie was half turned around and grinning widely at his father, mother, and aunt, not even attempting to remove Zeti's hand. The Boaz brothers sat in the middle of a chaos of colorful characters, looking confused but not frantic or scared. They’d never done school photos, or posed for a group picture before, and they were still working on getting used to the rambunctious nature that came from this family when they were whole, a type of relationship they'd never experienced. He wished they had taken more pictures together before half their world was lost forever. He would have to ask Auntie or the boys at some point if they had any other pictures of everyone's time here that he didn't know about.

Upon Tena's return to Adora's home at Mordechai's request, Natalia was quick to return to the house and retreat into the bedroom she had occupied the day before. It didn't take long for Natalia’s belongings to be packed into her gym bag considering she hadn’t spent the night in this room, Jade had apparently left with someone not too long before Tena made her appearance, and Tal didn't want to risk becoming the target of a conversation with Poppy James. That wasn't something she would be prepared to do anytime soon-- if ever. Instead, she settled in the comfort of the mattress and pillow, reflecting on what had transpired during their trip while waiting for Boa’s return to the house so they could depart.

The last day of their journey at the Blue Hill Reservation hadn’t started the way Natalia had expected it to-- much like this surprise trip as a whole. When the four Eden natives had boarded her SUV the day before, her expectations for their visit were to meet Charlie’s secret sister, share a meal or two with some conversation, spend the night at Adora’s and return to their hometown with some questions answered by noon. Having a few public breakdowns, sharing a heart to heart with Jade Taylor, falling head over heels for the woman who turned out to be Charlie’s sister and spending both heated and candid moments with her [i]wasn’t[/i] on any of her bingo cards.

As reluctant as she’d been to even embark on the trip in the first place and as uncomfortable as discussing Charlie at the table had made her, Tal couldn’t deny that the trip had been healing in a way. Hearing firsthand how Jade coped with her emotions, how his three closest friends and his sister held guilt in her heart just like she did made Tal feel less alone. She had always forced herself to believe that her deep-seated, mixed emotions surrounding her ties to Charlie were her own personal dilemma: something that was unique to her and would be misunderstood by anyone she would ever try to explain it to. It was a small relief to know that this assumption wasn’t all true. Even if all she felt ready to admit to was a friendship between the infamous deceased Serpent and herself, it was still more than she would’ve a few weeks ago. Progress was progress, right?

The Belmonte girl’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing, followed by the same sound coming from the bedroom she knew Mordechai had occupied. She gave him the courtesy of five minutes of privacy before she left her bedroom, gym bag hanging over her shoulder, and allowed her knuckles to sharply knock on the wooden door of his. [color=7B68EE]“Boa? It’s Natalia. I’m ready to go when you are.”[/color]

[color=dc143c]“Comin’,”[/color] Mordechai called back through the door, standing up from where he was sitting on his bed and stretching his arms above his head before slinging his bag over his shoulder. He took one more glance at the faces of the fallen, kept frozen within the simple wooden frame, and opened the door to begin his journey back home with the last person he’d have expected to end up alone with so soon. He pulled out his phone to send Poppy a quick goodbye text so that he didn’t have to interrupt her and looked up to Natalia with a raised eyebrow. [color=dc143c]“Please choose another playlist than the one we drove up on,”[/color] He requested honestly. [color=dc143c]“Ya got a bad bitch playlist instead’a a sad bitch playlist? My kids’ mom listens ta a lotta Alt-Z music that’s good for that shit.”[/color]

Natalia raised her own eyebrow back at Mordechai, before allowing a smirk to cross her lips. She wasn't going to apologize for the playlist she chose on the way to the reservation. It reflected her mood at the time, which made her feel better in some strange way. [color=7B68EE]"My car, my rules,"[/color] she warned the young man as they both set out in the direction of the car and packed their things in the back seats. Lucky for him, Billie Eilish did not reflect her current mood, so they would indeed be listening to something different. [color=7B68EE]"But because I'm not feeling like being a tyrant today, the best I can do for you is my house party playlist with Post Malone, Migos, Drake, Kendrick Lamar and them. That sound any better to you?"[/color]

[color=dc143c]“Oh thank God,”[/color] Mordechai muttered quietly to himself before replying, [color=dc143c]“Now that’s some shit I can handle.”[/color]

______

With the windows rolled down and the bass of the driver's trap, rap, and hip hop playlist making the car vibrate, Natalia and Mordechai set out on their way back home. The two settled into an easy silence rather quickly, content for the time to get lost in the music and give their minds a break. The Belmonte girl seemed totally content with the arrangement: one hand on the steering wheel, the other hand holding the vape she took pulls from for what felt like every few minutes. Mordechai personally made sure to give Natalia some peace before he broke it by leaning back in the passenger seat and closing his eyes for the first ten minutes of the drive. In the lull between one song ending and the other starting up, though, he finally took the opening and asked the woman driving, [color=dc143c]“So, how long are ya gonna avoid Poppy for?”[/color]

The direct, unexpected question took Natalia by surprise. She had assumed that Poppy’s departure from the scene had meant she was safe from any attempts at being interrogated or cornered to discuss things she didn’t want to. Clearly, she should’ve known the ever-observant Mordechai better than that.

Tal’s left hand immediately tightened on the steering wheel, but she kept her face as impassive as ever. [color=7B68EE]"What are you talking about?"[/color] she scoffed, keeping her eyes deadlocked on the road ahead. 

[color=dc143c]“D’ya really wanna play this game?”[/color] He asked back, still not opening his eyes or returning his seat to the sitting position. [color=dc143c]“I really don’t wanna play.”[/color]

The Belmonte girl could feel her anxiety rising from the response Mordechai had given her. Her whole body tensed up, her heart rate picked up and she began to take more frequent, nervous pulls from her vape. [color=7B68EE]"I'm not playing any games,"[/color] she said cooly, still refusing to look anywhere in her passenger's direction. [color=7B68EE]"I just want you to tell me what you're talking about so I can know what to say."[/color]

[color=dc143c]“Okay,”[/color] Mordechai answered blandly while opening his eyes, staring up at the roof of the car as he pressed the button on the side of the seat that began to slowly adjust him back into the sitting position. Once the seat stopped, eyes maintained on the roof of the car like he was looking to the heavens for help, he clearly stated, [color=dc143c]“I’m askin’ how long you’re gonna avoid Poppy for just ‘cause you’re scared she’ll find out you an’ Hard Times hooked up. I don’t know why you thought I couldn’t tell-- the only person that’s fucked more Serpents than you back home is probably me. Maybe Rye? Regardless, haven’t ya seen what happens ta secrets in this town already?”[/color]

[i]...just cause you’re scared she’ll find out you an’ Hard Times hooked up…[/i]

The sheer shock of hearing that factual statement being voiced out loud sent Natalia over the edge and into a panic. She let her vape fall on her lap as the foot of hers that was previously on the accelerator slammed on the brakes, while both shaking hands now held onto the steering wheel as if for dear life. Long, deep, rattling breaths were the only thing keeping her from losing it. Lucky for them, the road they were traveling on was empty, giving Tal enough time to compose herself for the few seconds it took to safely pull to the side of the road and finally turn to face her passenger for the first time since they'd boarded the vehicle.

[color=7B68EE]"[i]Why the fuck would you say that[/i]?"[/color] she hissed at Mordechai, her eyes blazing with both anger and fear.

Mordechai was gripping both his belt and the grip handle above the door for dear life, heart beating rapidly from the maniac move the Belmonte woman had just made. He spared a moment’s thought for Molotov back home and his car trauma before he snapped out of his surprise. He turned slightly wide eyes towards her and replied in an equally stressed tone, [color=dc143c]“[i]Because I expected ya ta be sane enough not ta full stop from seventy miles a fuckin’ hour?![/i]”[/color]

[color=7B68EE]"How can you expect anyone to be sane if you bring up shit like that up out of nowhere?!"[/color] the green-eyed girl spat, unfastening her seat belt so she could fully turn towards Mordechai. [color=7B68EE]"I don't know what you [i]think[/i] you know, but I'm not saying anything to anybody. And what you've just said? I don't want you to ever repeat that again. [i]Ever[/i]. Got it?"[/color]

[color=dc143c]“No, I [i]don’t[/i] ‘got it’,”[/color] He snapped back in the face of the Italian’s rage, unfazed by her threatening tone. In fact, if it hadn’t irritated him so much he may have been amused that [i]she[/i] was threatening [i]him[/i]. Of the two in this car, after all, only one of them had a body count. And he didn’t mean a sexual one. [color=dc143c]“At first I was gonna say that ya should tell her about it, but I gave up on that while I was packin’ up my bags. But ya can’t just keep avoidin’ it by avoidin’ [i]Poppy[/i]. She don’t deserve that,”[/color] Mordechai shifted in his seat to glare harshly at Natalia. [color=dc143c]“Don’t make me break it down for ya,”[/color] He warned, crossing his arms. [color=dc143c]“Don’t forget I grew up watchin’ someone look at him and react ta his influence the way I saw you last night.”[/color]

Natalia mentally cursed herself. She had spent a large chunk of her adolescence trying to perfect the art of masking and internalizing her feelings. In her world, public displays of emotion were expositions of weakness. Foes or enemies couldn’t get to you if they didn’t know what hurt you or made you tick. Nothing could be used against you if there wasn’t anything given in the first place. Even when Charlie’s passing had wreaked havoc in her life, masking was easy when you spent most of your time distracting yourself with your sport, a new lover or a new educational stage. But being unexpectedly thrust into the thick of her emotions time and time again these past few weeks had made putting on a face nearly impossible, as evidenced by her 2 breakdowns for the price of one the day before.

[color=7B68EE]"I can't do it,"[/color] Tal heard herself admitting, shaking her head. [color=7B68EE]"I'm not going to do that to her. You saw how she reacted at the table this morning during the conversation with Mitena. Can you even imagine what'll happen if she finds out Charlie and I didn't just 'know each other'?"[/color] she retorted, satisfied in having phrased her and Charlie's involvement in a way that didn't deny or accept Boa's declaration. The avoidance left the man rolling his eyes. [color=7B68EE]"I have been a selfish bitch for most of my life, but this time I'm trying to be a good person and not think of just myself for once. Poppy has gone through enough already. I don't need to be adding fuel onto that fire with anything I say or do."[/color]

[color=dc143c]“But ya [i]are[/i] doin’ somethin’,”[/color] Mordechai pressed in aggravation, resisting the urge to throw his hands up as well. [color=dc143c]“Avoidin’ is doin’ somethin’! Trust me, I’ve been doin’ it for years! Me and you knew each other before we all came up to the rez, and ya had your personal talk with Jade, but ya didn’t let yourself be alone with Pops for a [i]second[/i]. Poppy’s far from unobservant; she clocked you an’ Tena this mornin’ just like me and Jade did, she knows ya disappeared when Tena started singin’ and came outta the bathroom with her later. We all put that together easy enough, so ya think she didn’t notice how uncomfortable ya were around her the whole time? [i]Come on[/i], Puff.”[/color]

[color=7B68EE]"We're not in high school anymore, Boa! I'm not obligated to see Poppy most days of the year anymore, just like I'm not obligated to interact with her or tell her things she and I are both not ready to discuss yet-- if at all!"[/color] Natalia argued, still determined that she wasn't going to be telling Poppy anything until she was ready or until she had no choice. [color=7B68EE]"If I don't want to be around someone, I've got a right to remove myself from the situation. I hadn't seen Poppy or Jade in almost a year, anyway, so it's not like I've been purposely avoiding her in the first place. And, by the way, I didn't [i]plan[/i] to have any private talks with anyone, just like I didn’t [i]plan[/i] for the whole thing with Tena to happen. It just did. Things between her and I [i]just happened[/i]. We weren't trying to hide anything."[/color]

[color=dc143c]"And there ain't nothin' wrong with that. I wasn't judgin' ya for Tena. I was just statin' that it was [i]easy ta see[/i], just like [i]every reaction[/i] you've given since Charlie's letters were brought up on the car ride in,"[/color] Mordechai dug in his heels, finally meeting Natalia’s green eyes fully and staring her down, trying to get her to understand this wasn't the attack she was taking it as. [color=dc143c]"Just like me, ya can barely even hear his name still without flinchin', without the good times flashin’ in your mind for a second before the bad takes over. Ya think that shit ain't obvious?"[/color] He took a deep breath and cracked his neck, leveling out his tone so it sounded less aggressive and more tired; tired like they all were. Tired of living in fear of what Charlie had said about them, and how true it could be. [color=dc143c]"What I'm tryin'a get across is that we still don’t know what’s in the rest’a Charlie’s journal, we [i]don't[/i] know everything he’s written. Right? But I know that fucker was one of the best and most descriptive writers I ever read, and his [i][b]personal[/b][/i] journal is gonna have shit he wouldn't share with [i]anyone[/i], yeah? It's gonna fuckin' come out, Puff, and Poppy’s gonna get hurt by the truth one way or the other, but you avoidin’ her like she’s the fuckin’ plague ain’t gonna make shit better for her. When was the last time avoidin' the problem actually [i]worked[/i]?"[/color]

The weight and truth of Mordechai’s words cut Natalia deep. The threat of her secret being exposed for the entirety of Edenridge to know had been a guillotine looming over her neck since she became aware of the journal having fallen on ill-intentioned hands. She knew Charlie enough to be sure that details of their ties would be written in detail in its pages. And there had been plenty of material for him to write about, too. Because Boa  wasn’t wrong when he spoke about the flashes of the good being ripped apart by the bad. A sight, a scent, a sound, a song, a location, a quote… Tal found echoes of Charlie’s existence at the most unexpected times in the most unexpected places. Most times, she was able to play off the way she suddenly tensed up as one or a few fond memories rippled through her. These last two days? The recollections had hit her with a force that had her internally bucking at the knees. Scenario after scenario of better days alongside a friend and a lover, playing over and over in her head in an endless loop, drowning her in convoluted emotions… And the world finding out that Charlie Decker was so much more than just a friend to her--

Before she knew it, the overwhelmed Tal had buried her face in her hands and began to sob-- just like she’d done with Jade and in the longhouse bathroom stall the day before.

Long minutes passed of Natalia crying loudly, the sobs making her whole body shake. It was only after she felt like her heart wasn’t tearing itself up inside her chest that the woman eventually began to soothe herself enough for the crying to start  dwindling down. [color=7B68EE]“I’m sorry for just falling apart like this…”[/color] she apologized to Decky in between sobs, still struggling to catch her breath. [color=7B68EE]“To be completely honest, I never really came to terms with Char being gone. It’s like I put every moment and memory we ever had together in a box and stuffed it in the furthest, darkest corner inside my brain. Nobody else besides my two best friends knew about how close Charlie and I actually were-- and I wanted to keep it that way. I didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t want to think about it: I just wanted to forget about what I saw that day and move on. I wanted to just pick up all the pieces of me he left behind and carry on with my life like nothing ever happened. And it worked for a while! I focused on my sport, I got myself a new girlfriend, I graduated and went off to college and things started looking up again... But then these [b]fucking letters[/b] started showing up everywhere talking about shit Charlie only knew about, and all I’ve been thinking about is how fucking devastated Poppy’s going to be if she finds out that Charlie and I--”[/color] Natalia trailed off with a wail, covering her face with both hands and starting to hyperventilate again as she succumbed to the fear and anxiety trapped inside her chest.

There was a lot to unpack in Natalia’s breakdown, the first of which was filing away the fact that once Natalia let down her wall about him, her first instinct was to call him [i]Char[/i]. The next was that other people knew about Charlie and Natalia, so it was an even less secure secret than she thought. Not that he didn’t think Natalia had reason not to trust whoever her best friends in highschool were, it was just that for every two ears there was also a mouth. He felt a sting in his chest as she talked about finishing her senior year, something he never did, and picking her life up, something he’s tried and failed to do multiple times in his life so far. Seeing Natalia break down- seeing another person destroyed by a single moment in time, over and over and over again- Mordechai felt a bit of remorse over bringing it up. The avoidant in him wanted to act like the whole thing never happened while the realist in him knew that it [i]needed[/i] to. For everyone’s sake.

[color=dc143c]“Natalia…”[/color] He started, dropping all nickname and finding his tone somewhere between calming a crying Viva and and telling Danny that he can handle whatever life can throw at him next. Low and supportive without sounding patronizing at all. [color=dc143c]“We have ta accept a lot as Southies. A lot of us accepted young that our first love won’t mean our first [i]time[/i]. And even if Pop’s had the idealistic view for her and Charlie, she…she knows enough of us with the realistic experience to keep that in her mind,”[/color] He explained evenly, another sigh escaping his lips. He scratched at the back of his head anxiously. [color=dc143c]“Look, I’m not even sayin’ ya have ta tell her exactly what it is y’all had together, but she can’t keep gettin’ blindsided like this. Just give her a cushion. I…I love Poppy and I’m tryin’a look out for her best interest without keepin’ shit from her like I used ta. I’m not gonna force ya ta unload every detail, I’m not gonna force ya ta do anythin’, but if I see the letters goin’ a certain direction, it [i]will[/i] come up again. If ya can’t do it by then, I’m gonna deliver whatever heartbreak you’re fearin’ myself and then I’ll pick her up like she has me, but it’d honestly be real shitty if I had ta do it,”[/color] He shrugged, uncomfortable with the severity he himself had left in the air between them. Averting eye contact and slouching. [color=dc143c]“I’ve broken her heart plenty’a times in the past few years. Take one for the team. Christ.”[/color]

Natalia nodded in understanding as she wiped her eyes, albeit not in agreement of the ultimatum she had just been given. She could sympathize with Decky’s desire to want Poppy to stop getting blindsided by new information again and again. If she still had a friend with the same bond as Charlie and Poppy’s and every day you discovered via others that they weren’t who you thought they were, her reactions would probably be the same (if not worse) as the James girl’s. But at the same time, a confession of this magnitude wasn’t something Tal was prepared to face. Her secret liaison with Charlie Decker held an immeasurable guilt that had festered with the years. The feelings surrounding it were raw and complex. Only recently had she been forced to start peeling back the layers of that relationship, labeling the emotions around it, and hopefully make peace with it one day. If she was ever to face Penelope with this bombshell, then Tal wanted to make sure she was strong enough to weather the storm it could bring.

[color=7B68EE]“I just need a little time,”[/color] Natalia croaked after a pause, grabbing a napkin from a stash in a compartment nearby and loudly blowing her nose. [color=7B68EE]“I know that with the letters coming out constantly that’s probably asking for a lot, but I need time to sort through it and figure my own things out too. It’s not [i]just[/i] Poppy I’ve been ignoring all these years, but what happened between Char and I too. That night at the old high school was the first time I was forced to confront what had been since it happened; this trip was the second one. I’m just… I’m not ready to face her just yet.”[/color]

[color=dc143c]“[i]Time and tide wait for no one,[/i]”[/color] Mordechai partially quoted, realizing the truth that it probably [i]was[/i] going to end up being his job to tell Poppy if- when- the letters began to loom over them again. Poppy was right, this is what he was doing to Rye. Hurting him with his avoidance and claiming mutual benefit. The difference is Rye has an anxiety disorder that whispers in his ear that every bad thing that happens within his realm of influence was somehow his fault. Christ, just add another taxing encounter onto his already rather full dance card. He needed to resolve that soon too before he started the new chapter of his life in full swing. Mood soured, Mordechai rolled his eyes and muttered, [color=dc143c]“A’ight, you do you, hope it works out,”[/color] before reaching into his bag and grabbing Tama’s beanie, leaning the seat back again and pulling the beanie onto his head and over his eyes to block out the light. He crossed his arms and stretched out his legs, body language radiating how done he was with the current conversation. [color=dc143c]“For all our sakes.”[/color]
[/color][/indent][/indent]