[color=silver][right][sub][B]TIMESTAMP[/b] — Tuesday, July 20th, 2021 || Midday || Before [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/posts/5446470]Ain’t No Thing Just Everything[/url] & After [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/posts/5430778]On My Mind[/url]
[b]FT.[/b] — [color=50c878]Colin Brady[/color] & [color=E4DF9B]Antoine Beauregard[/color][/sub][/right]

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[img]https://i.postimg.cc/3wNg3t3r/Don-t-Give-Up.png[/img]
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[indent][indent]When the news that Jamie O’Hara and Russell Lord were arrested in connection of the most recent round of letters that hit Edenridge mailboxes, it came during a time when things were already tense. The letter business specifically was a hot button issue for the force, trying to find who was the culprit and who was making hell for everyone and anyone. Colin was one of many who were on the case, but he could only feel sympathy for those who were most affected this time around.

Colin knew the O’Hara’s almost as well as he could. He’s had a few frequent conversations with John O’Hara, mostly about basketball, about their kids. His heart went out to the man for what he must be going through right now. One of his kids were the subjects of the letters and the other was responsible for it. He wished he had enough time to devote to checking in on John, but between all of the people he interviewed, the witness statements, and then logging it into evidence before heading back out there and doing it all over again (but this time in different areas), Colin couldn’t find the time. They were spread so thin that just about everyone who had a badge was pulling double shifts today and probably would for the foreseeable future.

By the time midday came around, all he wanted to do was go home. All Colin Brady wanted to do was go home, eat some dinner, and pass out, but before then, he needed a pick-me-up. And maybe, it was his own selfishness coming into play because going home meant having to face  Marlie, who he promised he’d be home before 3, which he wasn’t. 

Yeah, there were a lot of promises he had made to his wife that he hasn’t been keeping as of late.

Parking across the street from Cafe Rochambeau, the seasoned detective went directly inside, feeling a sense of relief that the cool air above compared to how hot it was outside. Immediately, he saw the owner of the establishment greet him with that typical smile that Antoine Beauregard was known for. He waved to the man as he approached the counter. [color=50c878]“How are you doing, Beau?”[/color]  He asked him, Colin’s exhaustion clear in his voice and his eyes. They were bloodshot red. If he weren’t committed to his sobriety, he would have gone to the Hole and got drunk right then and there. Some days, Colin wondered if it was even worth it anymore. He was causing so many problems in his life and all because he’s starting to come to the realization that he and Marlena weren’t doing great. Any excuse he could find to stay out late, asking for more shifts from Chief Windham and trying anything he could to not have to see his wife, Colin had a problem worse than the disease ever gave him.

[color=wheat]“I think the better question is, how are you doing, detective?”[/color] Beau had heard the rumblings and the musings all day from patrons coming in and out of the cafe about the events that had unfolded on Scott Street that morning. Of course it would be the talk of the town, how could it not be? Drama, intrigue and some of the most prominent fades in Edenridge, it had all the makings of one of those Netflix dramas that his daughters were obsessed with.

Beau had only gotten to teach Jamie O’Hara very briefly. She had moved schools in her freshman year due to her mental health but in the time he did see her and in the moments he had watched on as she grew up into the young woman she was today, he thought her a good person. He still did. From his several decades working for the New Orleans Homicide unit, Beau had learned many hard truths about life, one of which was that the evil of man can sometimes feel like the only option, the only door, the emergency exit. It’s what forces good people to do bad things. He had to admit that he often had to remind himself that there were always, always two doors that could be taken. Jamie and Russell chose the wrong door. He hoped, sincerely, that whatever lay ahead of them, they would choose the other door.

As he slid over to the coffee machine to make Colin’s regular drink, Beau looked at the younger man and waved a finger. [color=wheat]“And don’t you dare lie to me, I’ll know, I always know.”[/color]

That was the thing with Beau. In the few times Colin had sat down and had conversations with him, no matter how infrequent and inconsistent they were, he had always surmised that there was no use lying to him. Perhaps that was the eye he once had for the job that never quit. Colin had that particular clairvoyance, but lately he’s been struggling to maintain it. “You can take the job from the man but there’s always a part of it that stays with you, huh?” Colin let out a low laugh, almost like he was mentally kicking himself for thinking he could show up to Beau’s place, regardless of how rare it was for him to come here and not think Antoine would spot the weariness that he thought he was hiding better than he actually was.

[color=50c878]“So where shall I start? Been a long day, as I’m sure you’ve heard. Nothing stays a secret in this town for long.”[/color] Colin could only think about it again. Jamie O’Hara and Russell Lord. Secrets blew up their lives and so many others. He wondered if the same thing about his marriage and how that was struggling could be next. If something so big as those letters could be found out within a couple of days, what did that mean for such a minor, insignificant-in-comparison thing like his failing marriage? [color=50c878]“With Costigan in the hospital, we have been spread far and wide. Most, if not all, of us on the force are pulling double shifts. Haven’t had a wink of sleep since very early this morning. Thought I’d get the best coffee in town. You remember how I like it, right? I know I haven’t been here as much as I would like to.”[/color]

[color=wheat]“I remember everything, detective. This thing is basically a safe.”[/color] Beau tapped the side of his head with his index finger. As he prepares the coffee for Colin just as he always liked, the former detective glanced over at the patriarch of the Brady bunch. The tiredness on his face was obvious, what wasn’t was the borderline frantic playing with his wedding ring. In Beau’s experience, the need to fiddle with one’s forever band meant that there was most certainly trouble in paradise. He had seen it so many times with fellow officers, the job and the street always came first. That’s just the way of the world for a boy in blue. [color=wheat]“Things will calm down eventually, you have the perps in custody.”[/color] He didn’t really like referring to the kids like that but he would for the sake of Colin. [color=wheat]“But it isn’t that what’s really bothering you is it? Why don’t you tell me what’s really happening, Colin?”[/color] Beau slid the freshly brewed coffee in front of the other man and smiled. [color=wheat]“It won’t leave the room, it’ll be between you, me and Solomon.”[/color] The ex teacher motioned to the record player which was playing “Don’t Give Up on Me” by the late great Solo on Burke.

Colin absentmindedly had began to rub his wedding ring. His mind went back to those early days when he first fell in love with Marlena. He was so young and dumb compared to how he was now. He still was foolish but in different ways. Foolish because he couldn’t come to terms that, now they had established themselves as genuine members of the town and even to the point where Marlie, his kids, and even himself had the respect of so many people, Colin could feel the weight of all of that trying everything it could to crush him. He sprung Marlena from her home in Phoenix, the threat of her father forcing them to leave the country and go on the run for years. He knows she resents him for that. Look how he treated her now? Avoided her like the plague and finding every excuse he could not to see her when she was awake.

And of course, the ever keen eye of Antoine Beauregard had seen that. Maybe subconsciously, the Brady Patriarch had wanted to talk about it, but too stubborn to admit he needed to vent and certainly too stubborn to see Shannon Ramsay about it, though lord knew that’s what he needed. So maybe this was the closest thing he would ever come to it - at least until he swallowed his pride and admitted he needed help because this was undoubtedly the closest he’s ever come to wanting to throw away over twenty years of sobriety.

Before speaking, Colin took the coffee and took a small sip from the steaming mug. Bitter with a slight hazelnut note. It reminded him of the coffee back in Phoenix, where he had spent the better part of his 20s in before moving abroad.. [color=50c878]“I’m not sure where I should start.”[/color] Colin took another sip and pondered quietly for a few moments. In those moments, he thought back on the years spent on the road. First Ireland, then Spain and how his wish to be with Marlie took her away from her family. Without even realizing it, he said out loud, [color=50c878]“I’m a fool. Marlena sacrificed so much for me. She left her family, left her life in Phoenix because she loved me. Now how do I repay her? I tell her we should move here, give the small town life a try. Sure, we have been here for six years now and it’s been wonderful. We both have great job, friends, and our kids all thrive in their own way - but at what cost, Antoine? I avoid her most of the time until I can’t stomach my shame and go home and when I am home, we’re either fighting most of the time or we hardly speak.”[/color] He didn’t mean to unleash everything and he knows he’s absolutely in the wrong for everything. Colin knew it as soon as he took that first sip from the mug. [color=50c878]“We just haven’t been the same since our oldest, Marco, was shot by Decker.”[/color] That was a moment that Colin truly started to feel as much of a failure his father-in-law used to call him, especially when he was actually trying to use his son’s horrific near-death experience as some excuse as to why his marriage was suffering.

Beau had seen this dark cloud before. Too many times than he would like to admit if he was Frank. There is an idea, a thought, a wish that any man or woman who wears a badge that allows them to protect and serve, should be perfect. They are expected to follow the law to the letter, to be free of sun and be paragons of virtue and grace. This simply was not the case, how could it be? When one’s job was to gaze upon the bodies of children with holes in their head, leaking out brain matter on their seventh birthday or something just as heinous, how could someone be perfect? Everyone had a vice, something that wasn’t right but it helped them cope with the evil that men can do.  Some turned to the very drugs they took off of the street, others alcohol and others dove into the world of sex, whatever the vice, there was always a cop behind it.

[color=wheat]“Your family went through trauma and it no doubt weighs heavy on the soul for you that your job is to protect and serve but you couldn’t do a single thing that day. Neither could I.”[/color] Antoine remembered it so vividly. He remembered every face in the crowd of parents drowning in anguish. The memory of every student, fear on their young faces. The screams. God the screams. [color=wheat]“The job always comes first but what you have to remember, nobody, no victim that don’t matter. You not talking to your wife, during your shit? That makes her a victim. Make sure she matters.”[/color]

If Colin didn’t know it any better, he swore he was talking, confiding, and getting harsh truths from his own father. Sean Brady was the same as Antoine Beauregard when they gave advice. Both were worldly but both could also give you the harsh truth, whether you asked for it or not. Colin’s relationship with his father was strained. Has been for years. Yet he was still getting the same advice that cocky bastard old man of his would give out from someone who walked the same life he did. Sean Brady was a retired Boston detective, so he knew just like Antoine knew what Colin [i]had[/i] to do.

As he pondered what Antoine said, Colin pulled out his shield and looked at it for the longest time. It felt like hours to him because the weight it carried, the sacrifices he had to make to be the best detective he could be, in his heart he knew what the wise sage that owned this cafe was right. He knew everything uttered the minute he walked through those doors and felt the rush of the AC hit him, was nothing but the truth. [color=50c878]“I swear I never thought I’d be this kind of man. Not just a cop, because lord knows when I was a stupid kid, the last thing I wanted to become was just like my old man. But also a bad husband like he was. I didn’t realize just how much I was like him until this very moment passed by. He sacrificed a lot for the sake of the job and now I’m no better than he was.”[/color] That’s the part that stung Colin the most. It wasn’t the fact that he felt like he was failing Marlie as a husband or he was taking her for granted. It was that despite [i]everything[/i] he tried, despite every fiber in his being that never wanted to be just like Sean, the truth of the matter was simple. Colin and Sean were no different. 

Well, at least that’s what he used to think. Colin understood everything that Antoine said was the truth and that there was one thing he could do to change the course of [i]his[/i] life. Colin put his shield back into his pocket and leaned forward somewhat. [color=50c878]“We’re so disconnected at this point. Where do I even start?”[/color] Colin took another sip from the coffee in front of him, trying to find the answer himself but coming up with nothing. He knew he should find the answer for himself, but damn it if he didn’t even know where to start.

[color=wheat]“How about a cup of coffee?”[/color] Beau said playfully before he took a sip from his own mug of Java behind the counter, his chocolate eyes smiling at the younger cop. He looked over to the large bookshelf that covered his back wall and his gaze fell upon a particular hook in red binding. Knowing what little he did about the Brady-Castillo’s family, it felt appropriate reading material. [color=wheat]“I think that one of these days...you’re going to have to find out where you want to go. And then you’ve got to start going there. But immediately. You can’t afford to lose a minute.”[/color] Antoine waxed lyrical as he quoted Catcher in the Rye. [color=wheat]“The simplest step forward Colin is to take a step back. Take Marlie out, search and find that thing that brought you together in the first place and think about the you back then and where you wanted to go. Are you there now? If not, why not?”[/color]

He understood what Antoine was meaning and what he actually needed to do, but part of him laughed (not outwardly but internally) at the suggestion of him and Marlie going back to what brought them together. In his mind, he knew that was dangerous in itself because what brought them together was danger. It was the danger of her being Emilio Castillo’s only daughter, the daughter that Colin was a bodyguard of sorts to at the time because of some…not so wise choices he made while he lived in Phoenix. Choices that came with unforeseen consequences. [color=50c878]“You’ve been around the scene of organized crime enough, right? Marlena is a former cartel princess, if you’d believe that. I got neck deep in with her father when I was in my 20s. Caught me on the job with some of my favorite white powder and my old partner, Jack Daniels, and forced me to do his bidding. Work for him. I caused a lot of people to get entangled in my mess. Something I’m still dealing with to this very day.”[/color]

Colin’s mind immediately went to his sister Corinne and how she got entangled with Donghai/Douglas Chang. Perhaps if he wasn’t fooling around in Phoenix, he could have stopped her from making such a huge mistake. Lately, Colin was full of regrets. “So our beginnings aren’t what you might call healthy, but maybe it wasn’t all bad. Back then, I was out of my mind but she always made me feel right. No matter the consequences, she always made me feel like I could be better. She still does.” And maybe that’s what hurt the most for Colin. She had never been anything but the best wife anyone could ask for. In return, he’s avoided her, blamed himself, and buried himself into work to the point where it became his life.

He looked at Antoine. [color=50c878]“Maybe you’re right. Not sure if we could recreate our beginnings because that would be next to impossible now, but you’ve given me an idea that [i]might[/i] work.”[/color] It was a long shot, but maybe what they needed was time away. Time to fix themselves. [color=50c878]“Think I might put in for a few vacation days. Maybe starting Thursday and into Saturday.”[/color]

Beau smiled as he could tell that his words were climbing the wall and dropping into Colin’s heart, where he hoped like a flower, they would take root and grow and force the police officer to reach up towards the sun for nourishment, the sun being his lovely family. [color=wheat]“It ain’t never gonna be like it was but all you can do is try. You got babies and they’re worth more than any amount of money or object or excitement in this entire cosmos. Love, Detective. It’s what makes the world go round.”[/color]

Turning away for a second, Antoine began to search around his countertops for something. He lifted mugs, plates and trays until his ham hock hands found one of his beloved books with an envelope sticking out. He plucked the white sealed pack delm the yellowed page and spun back to face Colin. [color=wheat]“Here.”[/color] Beau offered up the envelope to the detective and his face was soon covered by his big grin once again. [color=wheat]“There’s a hockey game this weekend. Collie and I were given some tickets a while ago but she’s out of town visiting our daughter Genevieve in New York. Why don’t you take Marlie down? Eat some hot dogs, shout obscenities at teenagers playing a game. Get your blood pumping and just be in a moment together.”[/color]

Even as Antoine was speaking, Colin opened the package and saw exactly what it was as the cafe owner explained. Two tickets to a hockey game. Colin found himself half-grinning. It brought memories back to a time shortly before they moved to Edenridge. To a time before they had settled on the quaint, though now-cursed, town of Edenridge, Mass. It was when they finally moved back to Phoenix, after so many years of being away the life Colin had built there and the life Marlena had there, when her father grew weary of hating everything about Colin. During those few years spent in the southwest, Colin would regularly take him and his family to soccer games. To football games. When Marco developed a love for soccer, which he had in Ireland and Spain, they went to more and more. It was something that not only made them all feel closer as a family, but it was important to Marlie. She wanted them to know their culture and Colin remembered just being happy that she was able to smile again.

Hockey wasn’t soccer by any means, but there were still those memories of being at a sporting event that was from a better time. It was just a small step, but as he looked at Antoine, he smiled and nodded. He pocketed the tickets in his shirt pocket. [color=50c878]“I’ll do that. I’ll have an extra one just for you. Boston dogs are the best, after all.”[/color] The Irish man laughed a bit too hard. 

[color=wheat]“Good, because I’m off the processed meats.”[/color] Beau tapped his gut and let out a heart laugh. [color=wheat]“Collie got me on a diet.”[/color]  He smiled towards Colin as the bell rang to signify a new customer entering the Rochambeau. [color=wheat]“Sorry Detective, duty calls.”[/color] He pointed to the Brady patriarch's pocket where he had placed the tickets. [color=wheat]“Remember, go, have fun. Leave the badge and gun at home, just for one night: You and the Mrs need to be Colin and Marlie again and when it’s all said and done, come back here and I’ll reserve you my finest booth.”[/color]

. The comment he made about his wife having him on a diet was something he could relate to. He understood it more than anyone else, when your wife did something like that, doing something that seemed like over worrying or too controlling, it came from a place of love and concern. 

After it was said and done, Colin asked for a dozen benguits and a few pastries. If he was finally going to make it home, which according to his watch was a lot sooner than he initially thought he might, Colin didn’t want to come empty handed. On his Tupper App, Marlie asked if he could bring her and the kids something back and even though he brushed her off, not thinking much about it, he was in a better mindset to actually follow through. At the very least, maybe this could lead to a better peace offering than being home before the sun fell on Edenridge. 

With the bag in hand, Colin left a twenty to cover the cost of the coffee and the newly ordered beignets. [color=50c878]“Take it easy, Antoine. I’ll be sure to yell some colorful curses at them kids just for you.”[/color] Colin pocketed his wallet and left the cafe.

When he reached his truck, a [url=https://i.postimg.cc/VvQsHk7Q/ee1dd6f1cd3fbdf74129d1273d364cd3-chevrolet-silverado-car-chevrolet.jpg]2015 Chevy Silverado[/url], he sat in the driver’s seat. Thinking. It wasn’t turned on yet because Colin found himself in a deep thought. He spent close to ten minutes thinking about the makeshift therapy session he had with Antoine, everything the older man said, everything that [i]Colin[/i] said and came to realize about himself. That he came to realize about his marriage. The great disconnect between him and Marlie was the root of it all. He made it worse by putting so much blame on himself and maybe that was also part of it, but they needed to find themselves again. He needed it as much as she did. 

As soon as he figured that out, Colin could go home with a slightly less clouded mind, but more importantly, he was ready to face his wife. [/indent][/indent][/color]