[color=lightgray][right][sub]TIMESTAMP: After [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/posts/5440605]Always With You[/url] 
Featuring: [color=fe6f5e]Penelope James[/color] & [color=b5392e]Forrest Proudstar[/color] 
[color=red]TW: Mentions of self harm[/color] [/sub][/right]
[img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/230518/6a8a18c96fe33b6347fc654242ce70f8.png[/img]
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[img]https://i.imgur.com/vJp0QLk.png[/img]
[url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/users/brutalbx][img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/211015/b5878257bfbd9cdd76a67a003c983966.png[/img][/url]  [img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/211015/52f6860b6ef04523593be20b787cf5af.png[/img]  [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/users/lovelycomplex][img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/211015/450efa6a0ce5a6f0235bac836bcc1708.png[/img][/url]
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[indent][indent]In the Silverheel barn, which was weathered over the tide of time, up a flight of stairs, no door to separate the ground level from the second floor, Penelope sat on a maroon couch, wrapped in a mustard blanket. Almost all the furniture in this small hayloft had a previous life, similar to the items that could be found in her mother’s shop, [i]Well Loved Wonders[/i]. The soul of the barn kept safe the memories of good times and a blessing that spanned generations. 

As [i]Dirty Harry[/i] played in the background, Forrest sitting beside her quietly, respectfully using his own blanket, Poppy’s green eyes explored his room. From the bookshelf filled with cooking and recipe books to the bed with the handmade solid wood frame, she could see a little glimpse of his personality even if it wasn’t much. Seeing his room made her realize how much more she had in comparison to him and that he likely used most of his money for his business on wheels. 

Penelope appreciated his willingness to watch something from her little box of memories and hoped next time he would choose something from his. One would say Dirty Harry was just an extension of Eastwood’s basic screen character. Clint Eastwood was good at playing the productive tough guy with a quiet demeanor and a bottled-up capacity for violence. What makes this film intriguing is Police Inspector Harry Callahan understood his legal responsibility and duties as a police officer, and the Bill of Rights, and yet followed his own code. His own code which led to his actions of taking retribution into his own hands, becoming what we all know as ‘the bad cop’. To catch a criminal, a man needs to think like one. 

To change society, a man must become exactly what they fear… 

For a moment, she could see parts of Charlie and hear his voice and the awful things he said to her when he was taking a turn for the worse. How the world was a filthy, hopeless place and that there was just so much pain, he would be doing it a favor by making it all go away. At the time, she didn’t realize how lost he was and that his compass, his code, was buried by hate and self loathing. He became unreachable and refused to let anyone be there for him. When the thoughts reached her chest, causing it to painfully ache, she desperately grabbed Forrest’s hand and held him tight, grasping for something present as she redirected her mind to someone else.

That someone else being her English professor, now boss at Cafe Rochambeau. Mr. Beau. He would go on and on about ‘a man’s got to have a code.’ He had explained to the class that without a hard code, that we refuse to break, our beliefs are at the mercy of external forces. Without a code, our belief system loses its value. A code couldn’t be something easily manipulated, like being a good person. Being a good person can justify vastly different behaviors. A code was more like unbreakable rules that set you on the path to being good, or bad, depending on your choice. Without a code, a man would be lost, creating cognitive dissonance. They went against their beliefs because they broke their code. She knew by the time she could reach Charlie, by the time he was willing to give her a chance again, he had already broken his code and lost himself. She couldn’t find him and that fucking sucked. 

[color=fe6f5e]“Resi…”[/color] Penelope whispered, as the movie was coming to an end. [color=fe6f5e]“What keeps you from breaking? How are you so strong?”[/color] Her glossy eyes glimmered in the dark, with the TV light on his desk shining on their faces. [color=fe6f5e]“Sorry, completely random I know,”[/color] she apologized and released his hand, loosening the blanket around her so that she could hug her knees. [color=fe6f5e]“I know you go to the place that reminds you what not to become but that’s got to be tough, right? That’s got to be hard…”[/color]  

That was a very loaded question and Forrest really didn’t know where it came from considering how they were watching Clint Eastwood’s magnum opus. The squeeze of Poppy’s hand on his had filled him with butterflies and made it extremely difficult for him to think of a straight answer for her. [color=b5392e]“Hm.”[/color] He mused, filling the air with a hum to mask his thoughts. [color=b5392e]“I mean yeah it’s hard and some days, I can’t bring myself to go there. You know? I close my eyes and I see things that I wish I didn’t. I’m not as strong as you think. I have a lot of help.”[/color]

Resi shifted a little closer to the ghost girl on the other side of the couch and rested his arm on its back. [color=b5392e]“Like my aunt Jadyn, Creator bless her, she might be a bit of a wild child but she gave everything to us kids. Mitena has always been my rock. She’s my best friend. Whenever it got to me, the dark thoughts, Tena just knew you know? She’d come up those stairs and she’d always just….I don’t know, you know. She just found a way of being there for me.” [/color]

His eyes drifted to the open barn window that overlooked the rolling field of Silverheel. [color=b5392e]“When I would get home from working a shitty job, covered in dirt, aching all over and questioning why I even bothered to suck air, I would look out of that window and I would see Illara playing or dancing or she’d be running from the main house to greet me. I would see the little smile on her face and that gave me all the strength I could ever need. She’s the reason I carried on. She’s the reason I’m here. I have to take care of my baby sister and give her the life she deserves.”[/color]

[color=fe6f5e]“So you live for family,”[/color] Penelope uttered in response, resting her head on her knees. She sat in the silence, thinking of those she had that were still alive, who would be devastated to see her go. She remembered the first year of grief after the shooting she would try to use shards from mirrors to cut herself. Her father had to remove all mirrors like they were in a supernatural fiction story and mirrors were a portal to another world. 

She wondered what was keeping her here, why did she keep fighting? It certainly wasn’t her family, seeing how she thought her friends wanted nothing to do with her, her mother can’t seem to let go of Maxine's memory, and her dad… was a weathered down rock, who needed saving too. She wondered why, after all this time, after losing someone she considered her world, she still was fighting for air. Fighting to breathe. 

Maybe, the answer was simple. 

Maybe she was simply abiding by her code. Her code to never give up, no matter how hard things got. No matter how lost and empty she felt. No matter the circumstances. Do not give up. She didn’t break mirrors to kill herself. She broke them because she hated seeing her face. She hated looking at herself. She wanted to cut not because it could kill her but because those scars would remind her that she was still very much alive. 

Mentally, she was probably a basket case now that she thought about it. Losing Charlie made her go absolute batshit crazy. She was so dependent on someone else, on his love, his validation, and his happiness, that she lost her identity and because of that, when she looked in the mirror she saw no one. She was nothing without Charlie Decker. 

Now, little by little, she was becoming someone. She was finding herself, outside of her family, outside of her friends, and outside of her love for Charlie. Little by little, she was becoming Poppy. Releasing her hold on her legs, she adjusted her body, where she sat on her knees and her legs laid to one side, facing the opposite direction of Resi. She leaned into him for support and looked up, gazing into his eyes, [color=fe6f5e]“No more sad talk, let’s play… the question game. I’ll start. In five years, where do you see your life? Career wise, family wise, whatever you feel comfortable with sharing.”[/color] 

It was amazing how swiftly Resi felt he had become close to Poppy James. The way she leaned into him was reminiscent of someone who had been in his life for years rather than a matter of twenty four hours. She had integrated herself seamlessly into his life as if she had always been there and it was something that he didn’t want to change. The more time he spent with the offcomer, the more Resi found himself completely and utterly enamored with her. [color=b5392e]“The hopeful answer is maybe I’ll be chefing in a five star establishment, likely a sous chef since I won’t get to be a head until I’ve like, seriously got my feet under the table. I’ll be watching Illy go from strength to strength, hopefully I’d have met a girl that would want to be with me and the truck would be my side gig for the weekends. For fun, you know?”[/color] Without really thinking, Forrest wrapped his arm around Pops and held her close in his embrace. [color=b5392e]“The honest answer is I’ll likely still be sweating my ass off in that deathtrap, giving food away to those that don’t have but deserve everything.”[/color]

[color=fe6f5e]“And if that’s the case, at least you love what you’re doing,”[/color] Penelope smiled at him and leaned her head against his chest, not even thinking how odd it must be to be this comfortable with someone. To those she surrounded herself with, personal boundaries were rarely a thing and Resi was no exception. She wasn’t even thinking about it really. All she was thinking about was keeping her mind out of her own dark place and focusing on her friend, learning as much as she could for the time they had left together. 

[color=fe6f5e]“Though, if you need a little cheerleader to push you to achieve greatness, I can be that for you. I know some things like opportunity require luck but that doesn’t mean you can’t aim for it. And hey, you’ll have little ol’ me trying to keep your spirits up.”[/color] Poppy giggled, amused at her own words and at the thought of her wearing a Clover uniform, attempting to do one of their routines. She would never be caught dead in a cheer uniform but she did like rooting for her friends and their happinesses. Little Cheerleader Poppy. [color=fe6f5e]“Okay,”[/color] she patted his chest, [color=fe6f5e]“Your turn. Ask me a question.”[/color]

Resi had to shake out the image of Penelope in a cheerleaders outfit from his mind's eye before responding to her. He couldn’t deny his attraction to the pale girl but he also knew that there was a fragility to her. He could see that beneath the surface of her body of glass there was a heart made of iron, pumping petrol and gas into her veins and igniting the fire that was Poppy James. He had already made the decision that he would ask her out when the time was right; it was only a matter of time.

[color=b5392e]“Okay.”[/color] He was debating how deep to go with his question. Having had the debrief from Mitena about her misadventures with the Edenridge offcomers, he knew bringing up his cousin Charlie would definitely be a taboo subject yet Forrest couldn’t deny his curiosity, they were family after all. [color=b5392e]“Why did you decide to stay here tonight? With me? Being a stranger in a strange land can’t be easy. Why put yourself through it?”[/color]

[color=fe6f5e]“Hm,”[/color] Poppy James looked at her hand that rested on his chest. Why did she stay? It was clear that the reservation was doing wonders to her. In less than twenty four hours she’s made more progress than she’s ever made in the past two years. In less than twenty four hours she could eat a little more, she could smile a little bigger, and she could breathe a little better. The weight of the town, of Charlie’s crimes, was not on her shoulders here. She still had her ptsd, and she still struggled with letting him go, but here, on this spiritual land, she felt a sense of belonging, like she was meant to be here. [color=fe6f5e]“I guess I don’t feel like a stranger. Even if my friends, like Mordechai, have been here before, even if my parents did what they could to keep me protected and not stray too far, I feel more myself here than I’ve ever felt in a long time.”[/color] She closed her eyes and listened to Forrest’s breathing. His heartbeat. [color=fe6f5e]“I feel seen, I guess. I don’t know how to explain it.” [/color]

Silence filled the room as she realized she didn’t fully answer his question. That answered why she wanted to stay here but not why with him. Was it weird that she felt this comfortable with a stranger? Opening her eyes, she let her hand trail down to his and rested her smaller one on top of his bigger one, looking at their size difference. She was always so tiny and frail in comparison to others. His hands were a little rough, a clear sign of someone who worked with his hands everyday, but she also saw a tenderness to them. Someone who put love and care in everything he created and everything he did. [color=fe6f5e]“I like you, Resi. I’m unsure of the why and how, but I like being near you. You’ve been extremely honest to me and it’s like we’ve been friends all our lives. I feel safe when I’m with you so that’s likely part of the reason why I wanted to stay here. I wanted to be with you.” [/color]

Oblivious to how romantic she was sounding, Poppy laid her heart out for a boy she just met but wasn’t thinking about anything beyond the moment they shared together. Most people would sweat saying something like this. It was practically a confession but for Poppy she didn’t see it as one. She saw it as her way of being true to herself and saying exactly what was on her mind. Right now, in her mind, all the grief, all the trauma, and all the tragedy was shelved like a book, and she was sitting by a fireplace with a boy she felt a strong connection to. He warmed her and comforted her. She hoped she provided something for him too. 

How could he not be swooning from those words? At that moment, staring into Penelope’s big green eyes, Forrest knew that he wanted to kiss her. Yet he got the sense from her that she may not be so massively experienced in the area of romance as others their age. He had to quickly mull over what the best thing to do was in this situation before the moment passed them by and they were left asking themselves what if. [color=b5392e]“I really like you Poppy.”[/color] Resi began. [color=b5392e]“I like you being here with me.”[/color]

Rather than rush, the young cook took his time. With his free hand, he gently brushed a loose chestnut hair from Penelope’s face and tucked it behind her ear. He could feel himself becoming untethered, floating into the emerald forests in her eyes where he would become lost. He cupped her small chin and leaned down to bring his lips to hers gently. He lingered for a brief time before backing away and allowing her the space to process what had just happened. The butterflies in his gut had turned into a murder of crows flying wildly together through a storm of chaos. 

Forrest really wanted to kiss her again. 

[color=b5392e]“I don’t….so….”[/color] He sighed through his nose as he tried to find the words to say. Forrest had been in relationships before, he had been through meaningless hook-ups and everything in between. He understood that whatever was connecting him and Pops was different, at least in his mind and he hoped, prayed to the Creator and spirits that he hadn’t misread her and that he hadn’t just ruined every right. [color=b5392e]“Was that ok?”[/color]

In that gesture, Penelope started noticing other things she hadn’t before. His breath she could feel on her now kissed pink cheeks. It remained steady even if his brown eyes betrayed him, showing how worried and lost in the moment he was with her. His hold around her was firm. It wasn’t tight to the point that it felt crushing but it did show signs of desire, need and want. She noticed how natural her frame fit in his arms, as if this was something they’ve done before. Her own breathing had picked up, something she had clearly disconnected with before he kissed her, before his soft lips touched hers... was her breathing always this obvious?

Poppy placed her hand on the back of his neck, letting her fingers feel the many strands of hair, curling one around her pointer finger. There was so much curiosity and desperate yearning in her green eyes. Her delicate smile and deep blushing of the face was far more telling than anything she could say right now. Vulnerable and trembling from anxiety, a little worried she was too out of her element, Poppy’s gaze, tender and full of love, continued to pull him in, whether she was aware of it or not. She felt like she could see his soul and he could see her’s. In the silence, she felt seen. She felt needed and adored. She felt wanted. 

What she was feeling couldn’t really be put into words. All she knew was she didn’t want it to stop. All she knew was her impulses wanted to keep going, and her thoughts were clouded by a feverish dream. All she knew was she was starting to see a new beginning and that new beginning started with Forrest. [color=fe6f5e]“I’d like to do that again, Resi,”[/color] she whispered, as she stared longingly into his dark gaze.

The elation when Forrest heard those words. He didn’t want to ruin whatever was happening between them but it seemed that Penelope was on the same wavelength as him. [color=b5392e]“I can arrange that.”[/color] He whispered back as he cupped her face and followed her command. Resi gently pulled the ghost girl's face to his and their mouths crashed together in a loving embrace. With their lips dancing slowly together, Forrest guided her body closer, which was easy as Poppy was as light as a feather or perhaps she just didn’t feel that way because he was so absolutely, utterly lost in her. 

As he led, Penelope followed, moving in tandem with his lips and his body. The warmth radiating from him and his hot lips only made her lean into him more, until she had turned and found herself laying on top of him, unsure if she pushed him down or if he turned himself and let her thin frame adjust in his embrace like a puzzle piece. Taking little sips of breaths, Poppy opened her eyes to see his glinting with the reflected moon, deeply staring at her. Her heart beated out of control as she held onto his head. She clung to him, having not realized how desperate she wanted intimacy. How lonely she was until now. 

Pulling away to catch her breath, Poppy stroked Resi’s cheek. She proceeded to run her hand through his hair and gave his handsome face a closer look. The sounds that could be heard in the barn were only that of their breathing. Disrupting the quiet with her feathery and silvery voice, Poppy stated, [color=fe6f5e]“I come with a lot of issues, Forrest… and I still have a long way to go.”[/color] Biting her bottom lip, she revealed, afraid he was signing up for something he would regret later on, [color=fe6f5e]“I can’t promise you I’ll be the easiest person to deal with. And there’s days I get very sad and very mad. And everything in between. I want you in my life, there’s no doubt about that. But I also don’t want my grief to ruin this. I just… I don’t know... This is all very new to me and I don’t want this feeling to go away. I want to explore it. I just need help, I guess? I don’t know what I’m saying.”[/color]

Resi had to break himself away from staring at Poppy biting her lip so that he could focus on what she was saying to him and the importance of those words. He traced lines over the small piece of exposed back that her sundress allowed as he directed his smile into her big green eyes. [color=b5392e]“It’s all very new to me too.”[/color] Forrest would argue that despite their different definitions of new that they would be on the same wavelength. 

The young cook had been in relationships previously, he had hooked up with people and it seemed clear that his and Poppy’s experience levels were far different. Yet when he said it was new, for him, he meant the feeling that was growing in his chest, this indescribable feeling that the ghost girl caused inside of him. [color=b5392e]“We can go as fast or as slow as you want.”[/color]  Forrest gently brushed the back of her hair with his hand. [color=b5392e]“I wasn’t expecting you, you came out of nowhere and now we’re here. And I guess now the next step we take is together, be it a small or a big one.” [/color]

[color=fe6f5e]“…so we’re together?”[/color] Penelope asked, a little in disbelief even after they kissed. [color=fe6f5e]“You want to be with me?”[/color] She had only met Resi yesterday and yet, here they were on his couch kissing like they’ve done it their whole lives. She didn’t want to get too carried away in the moment because what if that pushed him away? She didn’t know if she should be cautious or throw caution to the wind and chase this feeling. Chase this feeling that she was too scared to run after before. Chase this feeling straight to a door that led to so many unknowns but could mean something wonderful was waiting for her on the other side. Chase this feeling straight into a loving embrace where she was wanted and loved. Where she was someone’s choice not regret or burden. Where she was someone’s hearth and home. Where she was simply someone’s.

[color=fe6f5e]“I know what I’d like.”[/color] She softly said, wanting to kiss him again and be with him. She wanted more days with him and when she’d leave the Reservation, she knew she’d be waiting with bated breath for his next text, his next call and his next visit. Her heart hadn’t fluttered like this in years and now she had someone she wanted to learn and grow with. She had someone she wanted to stand next to, during her hardships, during his, and all the possible good that comes with their journey, together. Keeping Charlie’s memory on the back burner, not letting the feeling of betrayal ruin this for her, she traced her fingers on Resi’s features. Focused on him and no one else. She smiled at this boy, not too long ago a stranger, who was winning her over as fast as lightning and she knew it was only a matter of time where she’d try to catch it and keep her lighting in a bottle close to her heart. She wanted to be with him. 

As he held the small woman in his calloused workers hands and listened to her words, Resi could feel the duality that was Penelope James. In his hands, she was fragile, delicate but that was just her body: inside she was tough, harder than stone and had suffered more than anyone that young should. He wasn’t sure what future awaited them, he tried his best not to think about what was to come but more on what already was. In that moment shared together in the barn, they were present and together and if Forrest had his way, they would be for much much longer.

He watched the cogs turn between woodland greens as she likely pursued her feelings down the labyrinth of her mind. They had only known each other a short time and they lived in different towns. Could distance temper wild hearts? Not if Resi had anything to say about it. He was willing to do the work and he hoped that she would too. There was something special between them and they owed it to the past selves, the ones that ached from trauma, to chase happiness. [color=b5392e]“What would you like, Poppy?”[/color]

Anxiety sat in her throat when he asked her that question. Rather than answer him immediately, she gave him a little peck on the lips before brushing her nose against his. Poppy let his question sit a little longer as she wondered if this would lead to more pain or not. She shouldn’t think of all that. That was part of her problem. She waited on others before ever considering her own wants and needs. Before ever jumping. If she wanted this, she needed to commit and not look back. She needed to make a choice for herself and no one else. She needed to live. [color=fe6f5e]“I would like us to date and see where that takes us. I want to be with you. I don’t want to lose my chance and wonder what could’ve been. I will admit, I’m a little nervous. But that doesn’t deny the fact that I’m really into you and I want to keep kissing you.”[/color] 

[color=b5392e]“I’m really into you and I want to keep kissing you too.”[/color] Forrest held his ghost girl tight as he sat up with her in his arms, her legs falling to his waist. [color=b5392e]“And I want to explore this feeling with you. So I guess we’re dating now.”[/color] His grin was wide and cheeky, all bright teeth framed by his dark tanned skin. [color=b5392e]“I guess if we’re dating I should probably teach you more about this indigenous thing we call kissing.”[/color] His thumb drifted lightly across her thick lips as his other hand softly cupped her alabaster face. [color=b5392e]“We’ve got all the time in the world.”[/color]

[color=fe6f5e]“I’d like to think I’m a good student,”[/color] Penelope smirked, glancing down at his chest and then back up, from under her lashes. [color=fe6f5e]“So tell me, teacher,”[/color] she played along. [color=fe6f5e]“What’s next on the lesson plan?”[/color][/indent][/indent][/color]