[hider=1st of his Name, 7th of his Kind, King Sebastian the 41st King of Naitsabes]
[@Zmija Sebastian], this was interesting. I’m not sure if you were influenced by this, but it gave me Animal Farm vibes. Also, clever making the name of the kingdom Sebastian backwards. I found it amusing.
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[hider=The Choice]
[@Salenea], I really liked this. Although it is a tad repetitive, it read like poetry. While I don’t feel like this is a complete short story, this would be a strong starting place if you were to continue. I found myself wanting to see what she and the Flame would come to be. Really good effort.
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[hider=The Royal Life]
[@Midnight stars], this is a cute story. I would recommend working on sentence structure. You seem to break up. A lot of sentences. And it. Makes it harder to comprehend. When you break up the flow of the sentences like this, it comes off as if someone were speaking in a short, monotone manner, which I don’t feel was your intention with Crystal.

I don’t say this in the least to be mean, and please understand the above was an example, not meant to mock.

Overall, you’ve got a decent story. Just needs a little sprucing grammatically, and punctually.[/hider]


[hider=My Vote][color=1a7b30][b]The Choice[/b][/color][/hider]