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[h1]Mandelein - A Last Stand[/h1]
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I'd been here quite a while at this point. Mandelein had gone from a quiet little village in the Kerreman countryside into a living apocalypse, brought about by vile creatures of the night and the movement of the 5 moons, is what we'd discovered. Once again, I'd been cooped up in the church for a final stand, this time at least accompanied by the idiot Jamboi, yet I'd found his prowess in combat useful. He was far more.. primitive than I was, perhaps due to his Constantian heritage and I wondered several times throughout the various encountes with the beasts whether he feared death at all. Or rather, it was as if he knew he wouldn't die in such a place. I did not have the same confidence.

I was not the valiant knight in shining armour that these people needed. And I know this to be true now through the words of my teacher. You can fake confidence, emotion, sincerity. But there is not a man alive who can fake being brave. And I was not brave. I stood behind my comrades, and let them take the blows for me, boosting them up for them to conduct their slaughter. And the killing, was something I did not have the stomach for. I don't think I'll ever have the stomach for it. It raised questions for me - knowing what was to come, would I be ready to stand by my brothers and sisters? Would I ever be useful for the task at hand? Oceans more blood was yet to spill, and I was still unprepared to grasp the reigns as my comrades had.

Leonhardt and the others proved a vicious foe, but through the use of dark magic, demons spilled from the great void beyond came to our aid and met them blow for blow, until our time to escape had come, of course. Ashon once again had dealt a final blow to the beast, and shortly after, an opportunity to leave arose. I could have let my comrades go first. I did not. Away from the prying eyes of that blood-crazed nun, I made my getaway long before the others who needed it more, and I felt no guilt, only fear for my own safety. Fear for retribution if they had learned of my cowardice. And fear of what was to come at our final destination, Castle Mandelein. More than once, I found myself changing the adrenaline surging through my system into relaxants, just to keep my heart from leaping through my chest. What would my great ancestors think of their descendants in this moment? I was so strong, yet so afraid whereas weaker men were willing to leap into danger for the sake of righteousness.

Damy save us, because Vyshta is needed elsewhere.