[table][row][cell][right] [img]https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/851798918349586452/1132219871384576051/basecamp2.png[/img] [/right][/cell] [cell][h3] [u] DINNER PARTY: PART 2[color=red]◢[/color][/u] [sub][b][url=https://goo.gl/maps/8NZG8vBYe89FGe7z8][code]Basecamp Spitsbergen[/code][/url][/b] [b][abbr=70°F][code]21°C[/code][/abbr] [code]Inside | [/code][abbr=-4°F][code]-20°C[/code][/abbr] [code]Outside[/code][/b] [sup][@Shu][@Shift][@Auz][@bitsnpieces] [@KaiserElectric][@Awesomoman64][/sup] [/sub][/h3] [/cell][/row][/table] [indent][indent] Tank froze. Not daring to move an inch as he supported his compatriot. It was a bizzare feeling having such a tiny creature on his back. The Volus was a feather compared to his normal railgun and as such, could fall with one simple movement. So the Elcor waited with patient excitement for his friend to finish his speech. [center][img]https://i.imgur.com/w0XWwEk.png[/img][/center] [color=800000][i]Spirits, he's in shape worse than I thought.[/i][/color] Kysar considered as in the background 'the Pinball' made a ruckus. As fun as it had been impersonating Sol, Zenn was a mess, even with alcohol in his system. Allowing the 'Wraith' persona to fade and standing back upright, the Turian closed the gap between the two, placing a hand on the Quarian's shoulder. [color=800000]"Ok look Zenn, let me break down how this is really going to go. I, er, well I study people. I've read all your dossier and try to observe as many patterns of behaviour as I can. In fact, this kind of stuff is how I got my name, 'Venator'."[/color] An image of an old acquaintance flashed through Kysar's mind as he quickly waved both the thought and that part of the conversation away. [color=800000]"Anyway, see out there those two idiots from team 3?"[/color] The Turian gestured out to the crowd, his hand finding the direction of both Himbo and Playboy. [color=800000]"These guys aren't serious about any of the women, or men, here. They lay lines on them, treat them like they know them when all they really see is the physical. It's a cheap trick that'll last a night or two."[/color] Turning back to the Quarian, Kysar pointed at his chest with his free hand. [color=800000]"You feel something different and the truth is, well, Sol is scared of that. You saw how she broke down in the hospital and ran. She's not going to understand anything until you literally say those words to her and then she's going to run. Just as you might if she was so open with you."[/color] The Turian grimaced, unsure if this would help or harm the situation. [color=800000]"But you've got to stick it out, be open and honest and give her space and time to digest it. Ease her into it just as you did that hug."[/color] Standing back upright and letting go of Zenn's shoulder, Kysar straightened his outfit. [color=800000]"Whether you do it tonight, or do it some other time. I'll be here for you. Just don't get too drunk and do it. That'll be a disaster."[/color] [color=0054a6]"You're right. I just need to be myself. Speak from the heart and just tell her how I feel. I had no problem doing it in the hospital, I can do it here!”[/color] Zenn said with a new found confidence Kysar had given him. He scanned the room, located Sol sitting on a couch talking with Nadara, took one last sip from his drink, then handed it to Kysar. [color=0054a6]“Thank you, Kysar. You’re a true friend.”[/color] He gave the turian a pat on the shoulder, then stepped past him towards Solveig. With each step he built up his courage. Thinking of what to say and hyping himself up. Until he found himself standing in front of the two women. He paused and took a deep breath. [i]Okay. Be direct. Be honest. Tell her how you feel then give her time and space to process it. You got this.[/i] [color=0054a6]“Sol. There’s something I need to tell…”[/color] Zenn started to say, but his voice trailed off. He stood there completely frozen. His confidence vanished the instant he looked into her smoky eyes staring back at him. He had to snap out of it. He had to say something! [color=0054a6]“Nadara!”[/color] He finally finished. [color=0054a6]“There’s something I need to tell Nadara so I’m going to borrow her for a moment.”[/color] He grabbed the asari’s arm and pulled her aside, away from Sol. [i]You coward.[/i] Nadara rolled her eyes at Solveig’s antics and reached forward once more, pulling at her free hand. [color=82ca9d]“No, no, it’s not sitting time.”[/color] Where had that new drink appeared from? How many drinks had the human already downed? From experience, Nadara knew most humans couldn’t handle their liquor quite as well as she, but Sol was so statuesque, perhaps her stature offered a buffer against the stuff. Just then, the small round one yelled out a cheer and Nadara noticed the other new team 3 members raise their glasses in response. The male Drell even shouting a hearty [color=e0b0ff]“Here, here!”[/color] How strange. Was Nadara the most sober one at this party? That was a first. Ignoring the others, she turned her attention back to Solveig who was sinking further into the couch in protest to her pulling. [color=82ca9d]“Let’s get you on your fee—”[/color] Nadara was interrupted by Zenn’s approach. [color=82ca9d][i]Hm.. is he deflecting, or does he really have something to say to me?[/i][/color] she wondered, allowing the Quarian to pull her aside. [color=82ca9d]“Didn’t seem like it was me you wanted to talk to,”[/color] she admitted with a sly smile. Before Solveig even had time to say "hello", Zenn was whisking Nadara away. [i]How bizarre,[/i] she thought to herself before realising that Zenn had distracted Nadara enough that she could escape for a moment, from whatever the Asari had been planning. Maybe that had been his plan? Had he sensed her discomfort? She got up from her seat, and began walking away - back to the buffet table. [color=0054a6]"What? No, of course I wanted to talk to you."[/color] Zenn stammered out, looking around the room trying to come up with something. [color=0054a6]"I just… Wanted to tell you… that… Ranger misses you! Yeah he's been acting kinda down and I'm pretty sure a visit from you would boost his spirits…"[/color] Zenn said with feigned sincerity, though he knew Nadara wouldn't buy it. Nadara raised an eyebrow in response. [color=82ca9d]“Uh-huh,”[/color] she said, deadpan. Nadara leaned over and saw Sol had left the couch and was now over near Amina by the buffet. [color=82ca9d]“She’s out of ear shot, you can come clean.”[/color] Nadara placed a finger on her chin, considering. [color=82ca9d][i]What could it have been?[/i] “It’s not like you were about to confess to her or something right?”[/color] She giggled at the absurdity. [center][img]https://i.imgur.com/w0XWwEk.png[/img][/center] [color=ffb302]“Oh…”[/color] Amina groaned, taking a seat near the buffet line, [color=ffb302][i]I downed that last drink way too fast… damned asari poison…[/i][/color] Amina had just finished her second tall glass of esala and found herself feeling the effects hard. After getting through the first drink well enough and getting used to the “hit”Amina had helped herself to a second serving - not just “helped herself” but asked D’Veo for more. [i]She was right, that stuff is potent - maybe made by a soft people but certainly not a soft drink.[/i] Amina was not feeling sick per se but her head was starting to feel heavier and she had started to teeter a bit before sitting down. Another full glass drank so fluidly was out of the question for the moment. [i]I will not be the first to hit the floor. I never have been and never will be. I just need to sit for a moment.[/i] Amina looked around the room, everyone seemed to be having a fun time. That was good. After recent events they all deserved to unwind in whatever form they needed. Amina saw Solveig coming and sat up as straight as she could in her seat, reaching back for the half eaten plate of food she had left earlier. Solveig had been making her way to Kysar, there was something on her chest that the champagne had revealed... But at the table there, Amina took her eye instead. Swaying slightly, until she sat up suddenly. He could wait, she thought. On her way to Amina, she picked up a jug of ice water - placing her own glass of champagne down to grab two more empty glasses. [color=662d91] "Amina,"[/color] she said quietly. [color=662d91]"I see you... Uh, enjoying the beverages..."[/color] She poured them both a glass of water. The champagne had started to taste like shit and the bubbles were making her brain tingle. This wasn't like vodka at all - still, she felt only slightly off kilter. [color=662d91]"This might... help to wash it down - and out,"[/color] she added with a shrug, before drinking from her own glass, as if to say it was fine. [color=662d91] "Proper hydration technique... Makes for better... Uh, stamina for things like this."[/color] Amina had waved off the glass of water, more intent on finishing her plate of food - albeit slowly. She wanted to try out a few more fishes before calling it a night. So far Amina had only touched the “human food”, namely the Scandinavian dishes. Amina would have preferred something more centered around her upbringing but this would have to do. [color=ffb302]“Have you tried any of that asari food?”[/color] Amina asked. Sol raised a brow, but left the water anyway - refilling her own glass. [color=662d91] "I have,"[/color] she answered plainly. [color=662d91] "It's good. Most are good. Didn't try the meat options... Appetite.... Uhh, [i]changed[/i] recently."[/color] Amina sighed, [color=ffb302]“How I miss my mothers’ mandi and flatbread. I have not had any in…”[/color] Amina stopped herself, [color=ffb302]“Pardon me, ma’am. I should not gush. Not even in a social setting.”[/color] Solveig was taken slightly aback by the formal address and tilted her head at it. [color=662d91]"I miss my father's kladdkaka,"[/color] she said with a shrug, her gaze roaming the room. [color=662d91] "Fine to miss things, I think."[/color] [color=ffb302]“So long as we do not let wistfulness distract from what matters at hand I think.”[/color] Amina shrugged as she scraped the last of the plate clean. [color=ffb302][i]I guess I really did pile it high.[/i][/color] [color=ffb302]“I think I could use a little water.”[/color] Amina said, reaching for the cup and taking a drink. After swallowing a mouthful Amina looked at Solveig, her vision a little flickering but not too bad. [color=ffb302]“I must say it is an honor to serve with an N7. Even if technically now formerly N7.”[/color] [color=662d91]"Thank you,"[/color] Solveig answered, taking a sip of the water - almost having finished the second glass. As she listened to Amina, she felt a deep sense of responsibility. Like the woman would really listen to what she had to say, and take it in. She wanted to get the words right. [color=662d91] "It was my honour to serve. Lifelong dream fulfilled,"[/color] she added with a sigh. [color=662d91] "It's my honour to work with you too, you are a good soldier,"[/color] she said sincerely - looking down at her. [color=ffb302]“I suppose that is up for debate, miss.”[/color] Amina said suddenly. She took another swig of water, slower this time, and continued, [color=ffb302]“As a soldier I abandoned my post. Twice. But I did it for what I thought was correct… I suppose. What is a good soldier? One who just does what they are expected, taking their orders from whom they swore to serve like pills, or one who uses their training for what they believe in as right?”[/color] [i]The booze is getting louder.[/i] Amina shook her head, clamming up as she studied her glass. [color=662d91]"I think if you look hard enough... Will find the answer to your own question."[/color] Truthfully, Sol didn't know the answer either. Eleven years as a weapon of the Alliance, achieving her dream of N7 status, but lately she had been wondering if that was really [i]her[/i] dream. Where was she now that it was done? What was her dream now? [color=662d91]"Galaxy has changed,"[/color] she said after a long silence. [color=662d91]"So must we."[/color] [color=ffb302]“I suppose so… yes… miss.”[/color] Amina stumbled. Amina stood slowly, bracing herself in case she started to fall but thankfully did not. [color=ffb302]“Maybe the answer is at the bottom of one of these bottles around here.”[/color] Amina managed a smile. Deciding not to continue with melancholic ramble Amina sat the glass of water aside and grabbed a smaller plate, deciding to help herself to a little more food on the buffet. After that? She would probably drink the rest of this little party away. [color=ffb302]“How do you feel serving with so many aliens, miss?”[/color] Amina asked slowly as she scraped some kind of casserole from a pan and onto her plate. Amina's question gave her pause, and she felt the weight of responsibility crush in her chest. She recalled back to the meat plant... Amina had made a comment, and Sol had since regretted biting her tongue. She knew where the comment came from. She waited a moment, letting the words fall into place in her mind before she gave them a voice. [color=662d91]"Privilege to work with exceptional individuals. Honour to work alongside them."[/color] She looked at Kysar and Zenn - Nadara too. [color=662d91]"Call them friends."[/color] She glanced down at Amina and watched her for a moment. [color=662d91]"Take a bullet for any of them. How do you think they feel here? With us? With Saracino?"[/color] [i]Friends… take a bullet for them…[/i] Amina felt these words processing upstairs as she moved further down the table and then back once she grabbed what she had her eyes on, some kind of roll thing but a brilliant yellow color rather than white or brown. [color=ffb302]“Miss,”[/color] Amina moved back closer, [color=ffb302]“there was a time when I would have not even blinked and said to you that I did not even remotely care how they felt. From one human to another we need stronger unity and insularity, I would have said. And as an N7 I would have felt that you should know better than to say what you just did.”[/color] Amina paused, then continued. [color=ffb302]“But now… I do not know… I guess they are putting a lot of hefty trust into working for SRN, in working for Saracino. But I still feel…”[/color] Amina stopped and scowled, hesitant to continue. [color=662d91]"Would be disappointed to hear them,"[/color] Solveig said bluntly, narrowing her eyes to a stare. She softened her own expression and sighed. Amina seemed to be having a crisis of sorts but, hell, she was not the person to be asking. But... Who else? Who else could be responsible for helping to change the thoughts and beliefs of a human, than another human. She couldn't put the responsibility solely on the team. She had to be the better example to look to. It started with her. [color=662d91] "More than trust. More than that... Picture is bigger than Earth, bigger than humanity alone, or we just are humanity, alone."[/color] She topped off Amina's glass of water again, before giving her a nod. [color=ffb302]"Answers not in bottle, by the way."[/color] She needed a drink, this was... Hard. She hoped the woman would listen. [color=662d91]"Answer out there,"[/color] she indicated across the tables of SRN members. [color=662d91]"Try exploring,"[/color] she finished, before helping herself to the vodka, finally, and making her way back to the centre. All this talk of them... She wanted to talk to everyone, she decided - there might be something to find in the party afterall. Amina slammed the glass down on the table, water splashing across her hand and on the wood of the tabletop. Despite her extremely buzzed state Amina felt a different sort of heat rising inside of her, that same fire that she felt back at the old facility when they were going to retrieve Janiri. A resentful, searing boil that did not subside. [i]What? Did you expect her to agree with you? To nudge up next to you and whisper about how the two of you should poison all the aliens’ booze?[/i] Amina shook her head slowly to herself as she raised the water glass back up to her lips, wiping her other hand off on her sweater front. [i]You know what is true though? You are alone.[/i] Amina glanced around - at the two drell drinking and stumbling about together, at Kysar and Zenn and Nadara talking like the oldest friends, at the energetic volus moving about the room, at everyone. And where was she? Where was Amina? Standing alone half drunk at the end of a table with only her bad mood, dogmatic idealism, and alcohol for company. [i]Stop being so weak! What do you care about? You have always been a loner. In the Alliance, in Cerberus, and now here. That is just who you are. Do not throw away what you believe in to suck ass to a bunch of aliens. You do not need anyone, you have what you are, what you stand for.[/i] [color=ffb302]“Alliance bootlick…”[/color] Amina hissed through tight lips to herself. Whether Solveig was N7 or not Amina would not suffer lecture. Attitudes like Solveig’s reminded her of the likes of Udina and Alliance Parliament, [color=ffb302]“build bridges, make friends, we are all in this together”[/color] - yet the aliens have never wanted to help. They did not help at Eden Prime, they did not help during the colonial disappearances in Terminus, they sat on their asses and forced humanity to do all the world during the Reaper War. What have they done for humanity despite everything humanity did for them? [i]They are helping now. A lot. You are too. But unlike them you are making this about ‘us versus them’ instead of all of us as one.[/i] Amina lowered her glass from another drink as her mind became more tumultuous. She glanced around at the assembled group, the assembled people - her teammates and coworkers. [i]Go talk to them. Try. Open your mind.[/i] This thought immediately just seemed to heighten the agitation within Amina. [i]Yes. Open your mind. Go crawl at the aliens’ feet and ask them to educate you in their ways and ‘cultures’. Appease them.[/i] Amina started to take slow steps across the room away from the buffet table. The buzz remained but she could walk. [i]Be true to yourself. You can work with them, you can share a common goal. But they are aliens, you are human. Nothing will change this. They have no business being here, this is not their world…[/i] By now Amina was speed walking straight towards the door, shoes clopping against the rustic floor as she beelined to escape the party. She caught movement in the corner of her eye and saw it was Zelifa D’Veo, the asari coming straight for her. [i]What do you want?[/i] “I thought you could use one more-“ Zelifa’s smiling words were cut off as a hard shove sent her backward and made her spill the glass of esala all over her chef's uniform. “Hey!” Zelifa shouted with the shocked indignation of a child, Amina was already gone out the door. [center][img]https://i.imgur.com/w0XWwEk.png[/img][/center] [color=0054a6]"Ha! Haha! Yes! That would have been ridiculous!"[/color] Zenn practically blurted out in a very awkward tone. He quickly cleared his throat and lowered his voice as he continued talking. [color=0054a6]"But hypothetically speaking. Let's say, someone not in your league wanted to ask you out, but they didn't have the courage to do it. What would you suggest to help them? Hypothetically speaking, of course."[/color] Just as he finished speaking, Himbo returned. Zenn tilted his head to the side and watched as the man casually whispered to Nadara and handed her a drink in a very cool and confident manner. "Oh... Were you and he... Did I interrupt something?" Nadara’s eyes narrowed slightly at Zenn’s awkward laugh and then widened at his question. [color=82ca9d][i]My my,[/i][/color] she thought, [i]how unexpected.[/i] A knowing smile crept onto her lips. Far from wanting to embarrass the man, Nadara would answer the question just as hypothetically as he made it out. She opened her mouth to reply, but promptly snapped it shut at the feel of Jonah’s breath against her skin once more. Goddess she wanted this man. Nadara’s smile changed, taking on a more seductive appeal, her eyes smoldering as she took the glass from Jonah, allowing her fingers to brush against his suggestively. [color=82ca9d]“Thank you,”[/color] she said, motioning to the drink with a glance as she brought it up to her lips slowly for a sip. [color=82ca9d]“My favorite.”[/color] [color=82ca9d]“No,”[/color] she responded to Zenn’s second question, knowing how the effect Jonah had on her might make him feel given his initial question. She’d have all night to enjoy the luscious man undisturbed later, for now, she was still enjoying the party. Nadara’s eyes smoldered as she glanced back at Jonah. [color=82ca9d]“I’ll just be a moment,”[/color] she promised. It took some effort to clear the man from her mind, but Nadara shook her head slightly to recall Zenn’s first question and smiled kindly at him once more. [center][img]https://i.imgur.com/w0XWwEk.png[/img][/center] Kysar had been stuffing his face at the end of the buffet. Both teams had been eating food like starved varren and the Turian would be damned if he didn't get his freebies in. Spotting Sol out of the corner of his eye, Kysar put the plate down. [color=800000][i]Finally, Cerbs is done with her and I can lay some groundwork for Zenn.[/i][/color] The Turian took not but two steps towards her when he heard the commotion coming from the door. Catching the back of Amina's turtleneck and a rather startled Zelifa, Kysar's head cocked. [color=800000][i]Huh, weird. What was all that about?[/i][/color] The Turian continued forward, heading towards Sol when a little Zenn-like voice appeared from somewhere deep within his mind. [color=8882be][i]You should go after her, she looks upset.[/i][/color] Kysar groaned internally, [color=800000][i]I'm already doing too many selfless things today, I can't solve everyone's problems. I've got needs to y'know.[/i][/color] The thought of his Quarian teammate standing there with his arms tightly folded appeared for just a moment. [color=800000][i]Ugh, fine. I can't even see your face but there's no need to look so disappointed.[/i][/color] Diverting his path from Sol, the Turian briskly walked after Amina, stopping at the door for just a moment in front of the Asari. [color=800000]"Sorry, she's just... are you ok?"[/color] Kysar flashed her a warm smile, his ice blue eyes shining under the lights of the cabin. [i]Focus![/i] [color=800000]"Ugh, sorry, I'll be back."[/color] Following Amina out into the cold, Kysar was somewhat thankful he'd already had a few shots to keep him warm. [center][img]https://i.imgur.com/w0XWwEk.png[/img][/center] [i]Did I do something wrong?[/i] Sol wondered as she watched Kysar leave after Amina. She thought too about chasing after the woman -- had she been [i]harsh?[/i] There wasn't a whole lot of time to think, soon enough she had company in the form of Team 3's human member. Himbo walked across the room, noticing that Sol was alone, and Nadara was busy. "Alright?" He asked, his eyes landing on Sol's hand - which she noticed immediately, and in response folded her arms to hide it. [color=662d91] "No."[/color] She said, not as an answer to his question - but as a statement to his presence. "Painful, isn't it?" He asked, motioning to the hand. Bionics intrigued him, his stature had changed, he appeared softer, quieter - his bravado had been left beside Nadara perhaps. His comment still rubbed Sol the wrong way, and any attempt at sincerity from him just caused her face to darken. This wasn't the place, and he wasn't the person. [color=662d91] "I don't know, you tell me,"[/color] she said under her breath, balling up a fist and holding it close to her chest threateningly. Himbo immediately backed off "Woah! Woah!" He said with his hands up through a laugh, before conceding defeat and walking away again. After he left, Solveig took a steadying breath, his cologne had lingered, it wasn't great. [color=662d91] "Smells like a pervert too,"[/color] she grumbled, to nobody but herself. [center][img]https://i.imgur.com/w0XWwEk.png[/img][/center] [color=800000]"Amina!"[/color] The Turian was at least smart enough to recognise this was not the time for her to find out her latest nickname. [color=800000]"Amina! Wait up! What's going on?"[/color] The whiskey was doing the talking for him, words flowed a lot easier than they would normally have. Amina came to a standstill in the snow, so caught up in her state of confusion and distress the freezing wind and showering of snow against her tender face barely went noticed by her. She had recognized the voice behind her, Kysar. [i]The T-[/i] Amina turned slowly, she and Kysar stood a few feet apart. He had obviously been intent on catching up with her. Amina instantly felt embarrassed, her face flushing and her ears taking a red hue at the tip and just just from the relentless cold. The last thing she wanted to do was make a scene and yet here she was now, acting like a schoolgirl after being told no to a dance by a boy. It was humiliating. [color=ffb302]“I…”[/color] Amina started, her voice catching in her throat as she tried to shut out the pessimistic, cynical voice deep within her psyche. [i]Forget him. Just walk away.[/i] [color=ffb302]“I am…”[/color] Amina slowly continued, [color=ffb302]“just fighting some inner turmoil right now. I would not expect the likes of you to understand. No offense.”[/color] The wind was freezing. Though stylish, Kysar's getup had not been designed with any sort of insulation in mind. Snow that had latched to his shins on the way over began to melt, seeping freezing water onto the Turians legs. Had there not been such an uneasy look on Amina's face, or were he not mere moments away from becoming the first avian-like popsicle, Kysar would have belly laughed at such a statement. [color=800000]"You know, the other day when Nadara took Janiri, I burst into the med bay."[/color] Distraction was key, suck out the oxygen and there would be no fuel to the fire. [color=800000]"I was so angry, furious about what had happened. I lifted one of the staff clean off the ground, demanding to know where Nadara was."[/color] Kysar inched closer, pushing through the cold and the snow, feeling as if he was talking someone down from a ledge. [color=800000]"The poor woman was so scared but she still managed to tell me what I wanted. I dropped her to the floor and left without a second thought. She could've been injured but all I thought about was myself and how angry I was."[/color] Getting closer, the Turian was able to lower his voice. [color=800000]"I've been back to that hospital since and I haven't even been able to bring myself to ask about her, or say sorry to anyone. I-"[/color] Kysar gulped, his teeth were beginning to chatter. [color=800000]"I'm a monster Amina, I've done so many terrible things. Things so much worse than what happened with the nurse. But as I sat in that hospital room with Sol, Zenn, Janiri and Katya, the others told me that they saw so much good in me."[/color] The Turian looked down at his hands, this conversation had started with his team mate in mind but the words wouldn't stop. [color=800000]"How can I be what they say I am? How can they say these things about me when I can't even say sorry to someone I hurt? Maybe you're right, maybe what you're going through is different to me. But maybe we're not so different, you and I."[/color] [color=ffb302]“No so different?…”[/color] Amina repeated questioningly. She took two steps back but maintained eye contact with Kysar - [i]with those beady Turian eyes…[/i] [color=ffb302]“We may be the same in that we have killed people. That we both have… tempers…”[/color] [i]Why are you even remotely relating yourself to this Turian?[/i] Amina forced the persistent buzzing thoughts from her mind as best she could as she continued. [color=ffb302]“Let me ask you; why have you killed? And how much have you killed?”[/color] Memories spilled through Kysar's mind as if a full glass had been shattered. His time in the Cabal's fighting a cloak and dagger war with the Blue Suns for the supposed protection of Turian ideals. [color=800000]"Duty..."[/color] He thought of Sarah, cradling her dead husband in her arms, her kids screaming for him to wake up as he took down husk after husk. [color=800000]"Survival..."[/color] Fire sparked in his heart as Scipio was next to appear. A furious bile of hatred still existed for the man who had tried to take everything from Kysar and whom Kysar had taken everything from. [color=800000]"Anger... hatred..."[/color] Finally there was Purgatory. The void in his soul that place created that not only swallowed the anger but any feeling he'd ever had. There the true monster was born, the death of Kerry had sealed it all. [color=800000]"Vengeance..."[/color] Faces that had haunted the Turian's dreams for as long as he could remember came into view, peppering his mind relentlessly. [color=800000]"I-I've killed more than I can count. I can't even say that I remember all of them."[/color] Kysar looked up from his hands, directly at Amina. [color=800000]"And you, Amina? Please tell me this is where we are different. Spirits, I wouldn't wish this burden on anybody."[/color] Amina smirked dryly, her eyes showing no emotion as she rocked back on one foot and crossed her arms. By now the petty prickling voice of thought in her head had subsided, given up as she gave to the discourse she now shared with the alien before her. [color=ffb302]“I have killed in the name of duty and ideology,”[/color] she said calmly, [color=ffb302]“and killing itself is no overbearing burden for me. To take a life is no small thing of course, but… when you take that life for a greater good then you are not a monster. Perhaps not a hero, actually usually never a hero. But… you did it for a reason.”[/color] Amina uncrossed her arms and looked down, shuffling one foot in the snow. By now white flakes coated her sweater and slacks but she cared not, she felt the cold but found she was not heavily bothered by it. [color=ffb302]“Do you know why I first joined Cerberus?”[/color] Amina looked back at Kysar. [color=800000][i]Not a monster.[/i][/color] This was the third person to claim as such and Kysar could never have guessed Amina of all people would say such a thing. The Turian paused, a frog caught in his throat as he tried to quell his own inner voice. [color=800000][i]She was not there, she doesn't know I am a murderer. I am a-[/i][/color] Kysar shook the thought loose, now was not the time. [color=800000]“Tell me.”[/color] Amina snorted and wiped a thin layer of flakes from her forehead and dark brown hair, taking in a short breath as she prepared to spill more than she knew she should. [color=ffb302]“I joined Cerberus when I stopped believing in the Alliance. Not in humanity, but… ‘the system’. My father told me stories about… Shanxi…”[/color] Amina hesitated slightly in mentioning the First Contact War but continued on, [color=ffb302]“He told me how the Turians were relentless. Your people killed without mercy Kysar, destroyed whole colonies on that planet and forced thousands into prisoner camps. Then Alliance Parliament goes and makes nice with the Council. The Turians were given the benefit of the doubt because of their species’ place among the Council races and then we spent the next decades cloying for Council favor, all the while so many of those who suffered on Shanxi were denied reparations or a voice - it might shake up diplomacy with the Council.”[/color] Amina recrossed her arms, keeping level eye contact with Kysar, her face filled not with resentment or accusation - but desperation. [color=ffb302]“And then came Elysium and Mindoir, thousands killed and enslaved by the Batarians, never to be seen again by their families, with no action by the other Council races other than verbal condemnation. “And then Eden Prime, Terra Nova - [i]my birth home[/i] - and then the Terminus colonies. It was always the same,”[/color] Amina’s voice started to rise as her brow crinkled, [color=ffb302]“weak consolation by the aliens of the Council and lip service from the human politicians as human lives just continued to be snuffed out. People like me were angry, we felt lost, we felt betrayed and forgotten by bootlicks on the Citadel who claimed to represent our interests.”[/color] Amina’s shoulders slumped but her visage held its fiery defiance, [color=ffb302]“I did not join Cerberus, did not leave the Alliance, because I deeply hated aliens, not because I hated your kind, Kysar. But because I believed that Cerberus was just that - a guardian hound against the snake politicians and non-human aggression. That they were fighting for a better galaxy for my kind. And I still believe that in some sense they were - right up until…”[/color] Amina exhaled, dense white condensation expelling past her lips. [color=ffb302]“Right up until its leadership went mad with ambition.”[/color] Anima turned around, her back to Kysar as she looked out into the swirling snowstorm that besieged the humble Norse islands. The Turian hugged his body tightly, the cold had cut to the bone and he was doing his best to keep his torso warm. Had his cheeks any feeling left in them, they would have been coloured an embarrassed pinkish red. Cerberus' name carried a certain weight to it outside of humanity, especially given the war. Most members were easy to dismiss as simple racists, spouting their heretical, shrewd views. Kysar could've kicked himself for not seeing something more. Afterall, he'd just finished telling Zenn about his analysing of others. [color=800000]"Out of everyone, I am the last to defend the actions of the Hierarchy. Despite what they drill into our heads about working as a cohesive unit, I've been an outcast since birth and treated as such."[/color] Kysar could still feel the sting of the needle from his tattoos, burning his face. [color=800000]"But you must understand, humanity was spared the horrors of the Rachni wars and the Krogan Rebellions. Neither of these enemies showed our colonies, nor our people any mercy. The only thing they understood was aggression and total annihilation, so this became our tactic. Galactic wars have a way of branding your peoples way of life, as humans now know."[/color] The Turian looked up at the sickened sky, frowning. [color=800000]"My people believe that the universe is a cruel place where only the strong can survive. They see what you have mentioned as trials, ones that will make your people or break them."[/color] Kysar looked down, smiling as he did so. [color=800000]"But fuck them. You're right, humanity should not have been left on their own to prove themselves. All of us have paid for this viewpoint. There wasn't one race who won this war. We did it together, despite our differences."[/color] The Turian trudged through the snow, standing side by side with Amina. [color=800000]"I've never known what it was like to carry the weight of my entire race on my back. Seems like you have for a long time, maybe even forever. I can't hate you for that Amina. I just think... I dunno. Humanities failures aren't your own, just as the Hierarchy's are not mine. We just have to make do with what we've got and right now that's the SRN and this weird mismatch of a team."[/color] Kysar's hand rose, touching the butt of his chin; partly to make sure it was still there but partly to think. [color=800000]"Fuck, I dunno. We're doing some good out there, I think. At least we're trying to and you're a part of that. Giving hope to others and all that nice stuff. Plus we also got to kill those pieces of shit organ traffickers. That sure felt nice."[/color] Amina cut her eyes to the side at Kysar before looking back ahead. Why was this Turian making so much sense? He was right; they were all doing good work - together. Just like that in the end, as much as she hated to admit it deep down, humanity could not have defeated the Reapers without the other species of the galaxy, all of them - [i]but why hate the honest truth so passionately?[/i] Like Amina, Kysar had held the actions of his species’ authoritative figures to question, in the end they both had been pawns on a chessboard. Maybe they did have quite a bit in common, even if their likeness did not mirror perfectly. [i]Like it even matters.[/i] Amina exhaled again in frustration. She looked down at her clothes, now plastered with snowflakes as was her loose hanging hair. The severity of the cold seemed to be settling in by the second as Amina really started to shiver hard. She still felt wobbly at the knees and her head was still light. All she wanted to do now was go and lay down and process this for the rest of the night until she fell asleep. [color=ffb302]“Hey…”[/color] Amina said out of the corner of her mouth, [color=ffb302]“nice little talk. Maybe another time. Maybe not. But… thanks for what it is worth.”[/color] With that Amina trudged off away from Kysar in search of her bunk. Kysar smiled, chuckling to himself as he watched Amina trek back towards their base. [color=800000]"Yeah.. maybe."[/color] Part of him had hoped their chat would've been enough to bring her back to the party but he also understood the peace of solitude in a time like this. Turning back around, the Turian walked with as much pace as his legs would allow, making his way through snow and muck back to the cabin. Finally back in the warmth he shook loose water like ranger after a bath. The party looked to be in full swing with everyone up and about. Playboy looked as if he was headed towards the stage, while Zenn chatted to the new, and rather attractive, Quarian he'd seen earlier. Smiles were worn all round with chatter and laughter filling the cosy little cabin. Quickly ducking over to Zelifa, Kysar offered a quick apology. [color=800000]"Sorry about all that, Amina has asked me to apologise on her behalf. She's just got some things going on at the moment."[/color] Turning to leave the Turian's head cocked to one side with an idea. [color=800000]"Oh,"[/color] he said, swivelling back, [color=800000]"She also said something about me getting a bottle of esala for myself? Too kind of her I thought but do you have another? I'll be warming up on the couch by the fire."[/color] Kysar paused, pointing over to the fireplace, offering a just as warm smile. [color=800000]"Perhaps we could share."[/color] Smirking, he turned and headed over. [/indent][/indent]