[h2]Esme[/h2]
As Esme watched Duke’s actions, she continued to lean against the door with the back of her hand resting against Sarah to keep her emotions under control. Her other hand, she brought behind her, and tucked her thumb into the back pocket of her jeans. It was a challenge keeping her face neutral and not letting it show how she was feeling, but she had a feeling she was failing miserably. She was only feeling a fraction of what Duke's emotions really were, thanks to the contact with Sarah. When he spoke, she swallowed a bit hard, just realizing how much he had been struggling with things. She mentally kicked herself for not seeing it sooner, and for letting herself get caught up in the moment with him and making it even harder for him. It was never her intention to get caught up in what she used to have, because she wasn’t sure it would have been at all possible at the time. 

When he continued, she looked up from his chest and to his face, which was covered by his cowboy hat. His words hit her much harder than she thought they would, especially the part about how he used to matter to Dean and herself, and it caused her body to tense up. For a moment, the thought of him thinking he didn’t matter to her came to her mind. He still mattered to her, he always had even with them being a part. It also hurt knowing he felt better on his own but she could understand how it would. It even bothered her hearing him say that none of the others wanted him there and he thought she felt safe with all of them. Her gaze dropped to the concrete under her boots, sighing as she closed her eyes. When he finished speaking, she couldn’t bring herself to lift her gaze to meet his. She was struggling to find the right words to respond with. 

She also was fighting the urge to reach out to him, only because she was afraid he’d pull away from her more. During this, Sarah had moved closer to Esme and was now leaning against her, pushing her into the door behind her. Taking a breath, Esme slowly let it out and lifted gaze just enough to see Duke’s boots. “Safety?” she said softly, trying to keep her tone even. She shook her head, fighting the tears that threatened to show themselves, then finally lifted her gaze to meet his. “You really think I feel safe with all of them? I haven’t felt safe in years.” Her voice rose a bit as she looked at him, and fought against her tears. She wasn’t about to start crying, she refused to cry at this moment. “I understand you not wanting to intrude on what he has, but I don’t understand what makes you think you're unwanted. I haven’t picked up on anything that should make you think that way.”

Esme sighed heavily as she pulled her hand from her back pocket and ran it through her hair in her own frustration. Even though she was still trying to hide just how she felt, it showed in her eyes just how hard his words hit her. She then tried to pull herself away from the door but Sarah leaned into her even more, pinning her even more to the door of the room, which creaked a bit. She tired again, and Sarah pushed more, causing the door to creak more. Esme put all her weight into Sarah and shoved her enough to free herself and walked away from the door but not towards Duke. “You matter to a hell of a lot more than just the people you help, you always have.” she said, turning to face him again. She momentarily fell silent as she looked over at him, obviously thinking about her next words. She then sighed heavily once again, running both of her hands through her long hair.

“If you don’t know where you’re going, that should be a sign.” she told him, her voice cracking slightly. She did see it as a sign, a sign that was telling him he was doing the wrong thing, being too quick to act on how he felt. Turning slightly, she looked over at a park nearby, watching the dogs running around and playing. “I know you don’t want to hear this but you should sit down and really think about what you want to do. Make sure you’re certain you want to leave now…… And if you still want to leave, I won’t stop you.” she told him. She didn’t want to be upset or angry with what he chose. That’s why she worded it the way she did. Walking back to the room door, she pulled out her key and unlocked the door, walked in, and moments later she walked back out with her hair brushed and with a small dark purple bag.
 
After closing the door, she started to walk away but stopped and looked at him, clutching the bag to her chest. “I’ll support whatever you decide to do.” [i]But I hope you stick around.[/i] she finished the sentence to herself. Even though she wanted to, she could say it out loud. She didn’t want to influence his decision and make him feel obligated to stay. He was a grown man capable of making his own decisions. He didn’t need her saying things to make it even harder than it already appeared to be. “I’ll give you some space to think.” she told him softly. She then walked away, heading in the direction of the park with Sarah in tow at her side. If he decided to leave, she didn’t want to see him getting into his truck and driving off. It would just make her feel even worse than she already did. It didn’t help matters that he was breaking the promise he made to her last night, especially when he wasn’t one to break promises.