[quote=@Letter Bee] What's your time zone and how many hours of free time do you have? We can talk this over on Discord if you want? That said, yes, the sheet needs improvement from beginning to end. If you're going to use a written description for appearance, please make it a paragraph long; this isn't the Free RP section, and while we're still more lenient than Advanced, one sentence saying your character is a mature woman who wears fashionable clothing without elaborating just what makes her a mature woman and not specifying what fashionable clothing she wears even though there are all sorts of fashionable clothing and not all of them are appropriate for a battlefield does not work for a description. This is the same for your Noble Arm's Abilities (that said, I [i]like[/i] how they are not overpowered), your Personality, and your Biography, the latter which is the most flawed section. How is she a kindhearted woman? What made her that way? Why does she have an interest in technology and swordplay? How is she complex and how does she act in a way that first impressions vary? You can edit your character sheet to include your answers, by the way, and just tell us if they're edited. [/quote] thank you, I will revise this.