My relationship with my mother is a complicated one; a double edge sword forced into my hands that has always been to much for me to carry. 

Caught somewhere between friend and foe, daughter and mother, friend and parent, dark and light, trauma and healing. The past and the present, both to scared to look towards the future. 

I look at my mother and I see a girl - a seven year old with blond hair, blue eyes and pigtails. A little girl who never wanted anything but to be loved. A child who's innocence was taken to soon. 

I look at my mother and I see a woman. A woman I helped raise. A woman who refuses to accept accountability and instead wallows in her own pity. 

My relationship with my mother is a double edge sword; Caught somewhere between love and hate. 

A constant reminder of everything I wish to be, and everything I should never become.