[center][img]https://i.imgur.com/sqSMrSc.png[/img][/center] [color=Red][b][i]WARNING: CRITICAL DAMAGE DETECTED[/i][/b] [i]RIGHT ARM DESTROYED LEFT ARM DESTROYED REACTOR SHIELDING BREACHED EJECT EJECT EJ--[/i][/color] [color=Yellow]"Enough out of you!"[/color] the Yellow Jester barked at the automated voice of "Bitchin' Betty" as the cockpit of his [i]Firestarter[/i] was filled with flashing warning lights and the blaring of klaxons. [color=Yellow]"I heard you the first time, and it wasn't funny then!"[/color] The combined fire from the Green Knights' last salvo had left his Battlemech ravaged, the Mech's internal structure holding together almost entirely through spite. Firing his Jump Jets, the Yellow Jester tried to put as much distance between himself and the enemy Mechs as possible, and winced when he felt the [i]Firestarter[/i] begin to crumple in on itself upon landing. Opening up a channel to the other members of his lance, he shouted orders and began unfastening the restraints that held him inside his command couch. [color=Yellow]"Bing Bong, Honk-Honk, Captain Waffles! Form a firing line and start giving these spoil-sports something to laugh about!"[/color] One of his command consoles went dead as he began to work on the cable that connected his neurohelmet to the 'Mech. [color=Yellow]"Mister Dimples, come give me a kiss!"[/color] [color=Orange]"You sure about that, boss?"[/color] the pilot of the [i]Crusader[/i] asked as a pair of lasers raked across the heavy Mech's armor, followed by a peppering of Short-Range Missiles. [color=Orange]"They've already got me narced and tagged, and this maneuver is--"[/color] [color=Yellow]"I said kiss me, you fool!"[/color] He shouted, the sheer ridiculousness of his idea making him more than a bit giddy. [color=Yellow]"The rest of you! These Knights like to hear themselves talk; keep them yammering for a bit!"[/color] [color=Tan]"All right, sure thing,"[/color] said Bing Bong as his [i]Hunchback[/i] lumbered forward, taking an errant swipe at the nearby [i]Phoenix Hawk[/i] before taking aim at the biggest gun the Green Knights had: the monstrous AC/20 on their Von Luckner tank. Switching on an open channel, he shouted. [color=Tan]"Hey Greenies! What has two thumbs and is about blow your fuckin' heads off!"[/color] With a deafening thunderclap, the [i]Hunchback's[/i] cannon fired a high-explosive shell across the ravine, catching the Von Luckner's turret flush. His follow-up attacks with his arm-mounted Lasers went wide, but the primary damage was done. Answering his own joke, he flexed his Mech's hand actuators to point his thumbs to his Mech's cockpit. [color=Tan]"[i]THIS[/i] GUY!!!!"[/color] For good measure, he swung the [i]Hunchback's[/i] leg in a wide swinging kick at the Green Knights' [i]Phoenix Hawk[/i], which the more nimble Mech easily dodged. [color=Green]"Hah!"[/color] laughed Honk-Honk as his [i]Panther[/i] painfully lurched forward. [color=Green]"Okay, okay, I got one....what's a Green Knight's favorite novel by the ancient poet Hemingway?"[/color] As the [i]Phoenix Hawk's[/i] Large Laser boiled away armor off of the [i]Panther's[/i] right arm, Honk-Honk raised the Particle Projector Cannon on the damaged limb at took aim- not at the closer [i]Phoenix Hawk[/i], but at the fleeing [i]Raven[/i]. Unleashing a cerulean blast of charged ions, the PPC smashed into the recon mech's right shoulder, severing the limb and robbing the [i]Raven[/i] of its lasers. [color=Green]"A Farewell to Arms!!!"[/color] Honk-Honk shouted, proud of himself. The other Crimson Fists just groaned at him. For good measure, the [i]Panther[/i] fired off its four-pack of short-range missiles at the [i]Phoenix Hawk.[/i] Two of the missiles went wide, but the other two scratched the paint on the Medium Mech's torso and right leg. [color=Orange]"Okay, good stuff, guys,"[/color] Mister Dimples called out on open comms as his [i]Crusader[/i] closed in on his commander's ruined [i]Firestarter[/i], unbuckling his own seat restraints at the same time. Absent-mindedly, he tried his hand at a joke of his own. [color=Orange]"Hey, what do you tell a Green Knight with two black eyes?"[/color] [color=IndianRed]"Nothing,"[/color] Captain Waffles, the [i]Catapult[/i] pilot from Fire Witch Lance cut in to answer him. [color=IndianRed]"Because you've already told them twice."[/color] Lobbing a volley across the ravine, the Catapult's LRM launchers pocked away chunks of armor from the [i]Shadow Hawk's[/i] torso and limbs, though didn't breach. Still, that marked damage on every member of the Green Knights. While the damage was mounting up on both sides, it was only a matter of time before things began to give way. [color=Yellow]"Are you ready for a smooch?"[/color] Yellow Jester called out as the [i]Crusader[/i] reached him, opening the hatch to his Mech's cockpit and scrambling onto the top of the [i]Firestarter's[/i] head as it began to fall apart around him. [color=Orange]"Boss, you're goddamn insane!"[/color] Mister Dimples said, his comms still on the open channel as he popped his own hatch. The [i]Crusader[/i] leaned in as closely as it could, the open cockpits to both mechs at least two meters apart and still over ten meters off the ground. [color=Yellow]"Has it really taken you this long to notice?!"[/color] the Yellow Jester shouted, and with a triumphant cackling howl, took a two-step run-up and hurled himself from the frame of his Battlemech, splaying wide like a bug on a windshield against the [i]Crusader's[/i] canopy. A normal person, even your average Mech jock, would have bounced off from the impact and fallen to their deaths. But the Yellow Jester hadn't always been a mercenary, and his career before that was hardly average. With a grip and adeptness with climbing that suggested a far different line of military service before his time in a Mech cockpit, the Yellow Jester pulled himself up to the top of the [i]Crusader[/i]'s head, where an open hand from Mister Dimples pulled him up. [color=Orange]"Holy shit, boss, I've never seen anything like that,"[/color] he said, forgetting to turn off his open channel. [color=Orange]"Now come on, get in the Mech, the Duchess isn't paying us to--"[/color] Without a second thought, the Yellow Jester wrenched Mister Dimples' arm, yanking him out of the [i]Crusader's[/i] cockpit and sending him tumbling down to the rocky mountainside below. With a dull [i]thud[/i], his body hit the ground and lay still. [color=Yellow]"No one likes a tattle-tale, Mister Dimples,"[/color] said the Jester, looking down at his lancemate's corpse. Quickly scrambling into the [i]Crusader[/i], the Yellow Jester reached back to plug the control cables into his neurohelmet, his whole body convulsing for a moment as the Mech's security measures attempted to fry his nervous system. [color=Yellow]"Command Override!"[/color] he shouted as his body spasmed. [color=Yellow]"Clearance Xanthe-01-04-21!"[/color] The consoles inside the [i]Crusader[/i] then changed from danger red to a calm green, then a sickly yellow as he settled into the command couch. [color=Yellow]"Oooo-hoo-hoo-hoooo,"[/color] he giggled for a moment, [color=Yellow]"I smelled my own brain starting to drizzle-frizzle-sizzle for a moment there!"[/color] Fastening his restraints, the Yellow Jester opened up the channel to his enemies. [color=Yellow]"Now then, my pretty-witty-ditties,"[/color] he called out to the Green Knights as the [i]Crusader[/i] stepped forward, with a skipping, playful gait, [color=Yellow]"Where were we?"[/color] [hider=Situation: Round 3] [center][img]https://i.imgur.com/vr4Xapm.png[/img][/center] [b]Hunchback:[/b] TMM = 1 [b]Panther:[/b] TMM = 0 [b]Catapult:[/b] TMM = 1 [b]Crusader:[/b] TMM = 1 [b]Firestarter:[/b] Abandoned[/hider]