[center][url=https://biblehub.com/jeremiah/17-9.htm][img]https://i.imgur.com/qWI2ycc.png[/img][/url] [h1][color=palevioletred]Who Can Know It?[/color][/h1][/center] [hr] [hr] [center][youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLbw0ndel7A[/youtube] [h3]Zenobucks - Before Castaway[/h3][/center] It had been a while since Ayla last saw Raffaella, and for some reason, the girl kept occupying her thoughts. She wondered what she was up to, how the kitties were doing, and as she passed by some sweets, she wondered if Raffie would enjoy them. She was certainly fond of the girl, though every time Raffie came to mind, all she could remember was that embarrassing scene where she fed her, recalling how happy Raffie looked. It made Ayla feel horrible, as if she was a monster. It was even worse when she bumped into Raffie at the Soiree, and the conversation seemed to revolve around Asier this, Asier that. Ayla tuned out of the conversation and couldn't bring herself to confess the truth. She knew what she must do: invite Raffie out for a date. Ayla wanted to sit her down, clear the air, and address all those embarrassing misunderstandings. It was time to face the truth, and she hoped Raffie would be as sweet and forgiving as she looked. Ayla proceeded to write a handwritten invitation for the two of them to meet up at the local Zenobucks, kitties welcomed. [color=palevioletred]"Kitties welcome, huh?"[/color] Raffaella pondered as she read her one and only letter that wasn't a piece of "fan mail." Well, it [i]was[/i] a private invitation, but Ayla was actually a friend, so this was a special exception☆ [color=palevioletred]"I guess a coffee shop can't be [i]that[/i] bad if they allow kitties, and sell sweets~"[/color] she decided as she jogged on over to the local Zenobucks, her Zaqhorian Sphinx hot on her hot pink heels. [color=palevioletred]"Heya Ayla~"[/color] she chirped as she burst through the door, her chatty Sphinx sauntering over to Ayla's table, "mrrp-mrrping" as he went. Ayla smiled widely as the kitty was excited to meet them, her own Zaqhorian Sphinx, Gisele, excitedly met with her brother as they purred happily together. She waved excitedly toward Raffie as she called her over, with a coffee and plate of different vibrant-coloured macaroons ripe for the picking. Ayla hopped from her chair as she went to give her friend a hug, [colour=009fff]“Wow, have you got taller since we last met?”[/colour] She compared the height, then realized she was wearing hot pink heels, giggling a little. [colour=009fff]“We are very pleased that you came,”[/colour] she indicated towards the table for them to sit together. Raffie spoiled Gisele with back scritches as the siblings nuzzled each other. Then, she turned to Ayla to give her friend her requisite hug. [color=palevioletred]"Ahaha, nope~ I haven't gotten taller in years."[/color] Staying still as Ayla compared their heights, they were almost exactly the same, with Raffie having the advantage of heels. [color=palevioletred]"Heehee~! I'm so happy you're the same, Ayla. People are acting [i]so[/i] weird lately. It's all... how would you say? There's this... frosty layer of doom and gloom."[/color] She popped a pastel pink macaroon into her mouth and smiled. Ayla enjoyed seeing the girl, a smile spreading, [colour=009fff]"Is pink your favourite colour? You always look very pretty in it."[/colour] She made sure to greet her sphinx warmly with scritches too, then left the pair of siblings together as she indicated to the seats. [colour=009fff]"We agree, it is nice to share a pleasant moment together."[/colour] She went to sit at the table, noticing a pink macaroon on her own plate, [colour=009fff]"Oh, we have one here too!"[/colour] She picked it up instinctively and enthusiastically brought it to Raffie's lips, then felt a light blush grow on her cheeks as she realized what she just did. Raffie looked around the cafe, with shifty eyes. Then, she leaned in towards Ayla. [color=palevioletred]"Just between you and me... it's red. Don't tell anyone!"[/color] she insisted, hastily shushing her dining partner to emphasize the point. Nomming the pink macaroon, she smiled. Of course, that wasn't what she'd told "Asier." Ayla mouthed an [colour=009fff][i]"oh"[/i][/colour] as she instinctively twirled a finger through her red hair. [colour=009fff]"Mine is blue,"[/colour] she said, and as she spoke, it seemed like her sapphire blue eyes sparkled much like Raffie's usually did. She fidgeted with her fingers for a moment before focusing on the macaroons again, spotting a blue one. [colour=009fff]"These are blueberry flavoured, we hope you find them to be pleasant."[/colour] She brought it to Raffie's lips again, almost without thinking. The problem was, she was thinking too much about a certain boy herself. Raffie paused as Ayla went to feed her a third macaroon, when she herself had none yet. [color=palevioletred][i]Woah. Déjà vu,[/i][/color] she thought, suddenly keenly aware of Ayla's posture as she was feeding her. She picked up a blue macaroon and held it out to Ayla. [color=palevioletred]"You tell me!"[/color] She grinned. Ayla felt her cheeks redden as she leaned forward to take a tentative bite of the blueberry macaron. It was delicious; after all, she did her best when baking them. Her lips spread wider as they enclosed around the snack, and inadvertently, one of Raffie's digits, which she released after a light suckle on the tip of it. She quickly fetched a napkin to her lips and covered her mouth, looking away shyly. [colour=009fff]"It is... delicious,"[/colour] she mumbled. [color=palevioletred]"Mhm, cute,"[/color] she agreed, narrowing her eyes deviously. Then, after about five solid seconds, she realized what she said. Her cheeks turned pink, but she decided to pretend not to notice that she misspoke. [color=palevioletred]"So! Um... What did you do after the party? Sorry for leaving so suddenly. I tried to talk to someone and uh, it didn't go well, you could say."[/color] Ayla felt that funny fluttering feeling, especially as she was confronted with such a question. [colour=009fff]"No, that's okay. We tried to speak with someone too, and we were left with mixed feelings,"[/colour] she said, her voice slightly shaky. She moved her hand to hold onto Raffie's for a moment, seeking comfort in the touch, then continued, [colour=009fff]"We need your advice."[/colour] She started to fidget with the held hand, her nerves palpable. [colour=009fff]"You know, like those stories where the hero is in disguise, and they fall in love with a girl? Have you ever considered what happened afterwards? Maybe the hero really loved her, but could she accept him for who he is, or did he simply abandon her, return to his job, and leave her heartbroken? What if she didn't recognize him, and they became close again? Should he tell her the truth?"[/colour] She breathed out, releasing Raffie's hand, her eyes searching for understanding.[colour=009fff]"This dilemma is vexing us. The novels do not cover what one should do in these circumstances."[/colour] Raffie tilted her head, chin perched on her free wrist as Ayla confided in her. [color=palevioletred][i]Huuh. So that's how it is. Another girl who likes girls. Constantians sure are bold... asking a Virangish girl for advice. Is this what it feels like to be a big sister?[/i][/color] she mused. [color=palevioletred][i]I would've been a good older sister. Thanks, worthless dad of mine.[/i][/color] She smiled as always while she brushed away the thought. [color=palevioletred]"Oh, Ayla,"[/color] Raffaella sighed as she squeezed the girl's hand fondly. [color=palevioletred][i]She's soo~ obvious. I can feel her heartbeat through her fingers. Maidens in love are so adorable☆[/i] "If you wanted me to pray for your success in love, you didn't need to bribe me with sweets."[/color] She smiled warmly, and before Ayla could protest, the rosary was on the table, and she was speaking Virangish faster than Ayla could follow. Before she knew it, the ritual was done, and she'd tucked the rosary back into the collar of her dress. [color=palevioletred]"A secret love is no good! Love takes many forms, but it's only beautiful if both parties are aware and accepting of it, you know? Besides, if you don't confess, she'll be swept off her feet by someone else before you know it."[/color] She nodded sagely. [color=palevioletred]"If you were only hiding who you were, and not [i]who[/i] you were, then it's no wonder you still got close to them, yeah? So it's easy to just tell them. But if you were pretending to be something you're not, you'll have to beg forgiveness and a chance to start over. Otherwise, if she still thinks that person exists, not only are you living a lie, you're competing with yourself."[/color] She squeezed Ayla's hand once more before letting go. [color=palevioletred]"That's what I think."[/color] She smiled. Ayla paused for a moment, feeling frozen and flustered. [colour=009fff]"No, you misunderstood. We knew you read romance novels,"[/colour] she clarified, her voice slightly shaky. She held the girl's hand for a moment, then let go, a nervous habit of hers. [colour=009fff]"Perhaps we should have been clearer from the start."[/colour] She moved her hand to scratch the sphinx cat behind its ears, seeking some comfort in the familiar action as the cat nudged its head against her hand. Taking a deep breath, she decided to be more direct. [colour=009fff]"Raffie, call it intuition, but you like Asier, right?"[/colour] She looked into Raffie's sparkling eyes as she asked the question directly. Raffie searched Ayla's eyes and pondered. [color=palevioletred]"[i]Ooh?[/i] So he was smitten after all, and he never left Ersand'Enise. This friend of yours."[/color] She nodded along as she put the pieces together. [color=palevioletred]"He's a sweet boy. And a gentleman. But like him, I don't really have the luxury of choosing who I get to marry."[/color] She smiled apologetically to Ayla, thinking she would be the bearer of bad news to the man. [color=palevioletred]"Well, that's how it is. The adults who 'know better' are gonna tell us what to do."[/color] Even as she said it, she didn't seem particularly bothered by the notion. [colour=009fff]"Well, not quite,"[/colour] Ayla began, her voice soft as she moved her hands to hold Raffie's. [colour=009fff]"We're sorry we lied to you. We didn't know how to tell you, but…[/colour]" She released one hand to flick her red hair to the side, a nervous gesture. [colour=009fff]"We are Asier."[/colour] She squeezed Raffie's hands gently, her eyes pleading for forgiveness. [colour=009fff]"You've become important to me since that day, and as we've got to know each other better, we didn't want this to be a thing between us. After all, who else enjoys sweets and likes cats almost as much as we do?"[/colour] Raffaella's eyes widened, and they seemed uncharacteristically cold—even a bit distant, as though she were thinking about something else entirely. [hr] [center][youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITiBtq9swrg[/youtube] [b]"No. Outside! Now!"[/b] [color=palevioletred]"But he's hurt! Someone kicked him!"[/color] [b]"We're NOT keeping him. Put him out!"[/b] [color=palevioletred]"HE'LL STARVE!"[/color] [b]"SO WILL YOU IF YOU DON'T DO AS I SAY!"[/b][/center] Little Raffie's blood ran cold. Her eyes turned cold. Her heart shriveled like a prune as she realized this hell of an orphanage had drained her soul dry as the street on a Dorrad day. The cat mewled in protest as it was placed outside in the rain, unable to stand up on its own legs. Raffie placed it on the red stones. She remembered the red stones vividly. She knew the stones had always been a dull grey. The sound went on for what felt like hours. It was horrible. At some point, the nun returned to the door, giving little Raffie some fleeting hope before the cat went quiet mid-cry. When she thought she had no more tears to cry, she quietly sobbed for hours after that. How could she be so cruel? She should have taken the cat and run away with it—such was the mind of a child. In reality, she had no options. [color=palevioletred][i]It's a bitch-eat-bitch world, kiddo.[/i][/color] Raffaella pitied little Raffie as she reminisced. For just a moment, she imagined that fossil of a nun sitting across from her. [color=palevioletred][i]It's just a fucking cat, you fat whore. Probably would've eaten less in a month than you do on a Victendes, if it outlived you.[/i][/color] [hr] [color=palevioletred]"...Who doesn't like cats? I might have to kick their butt,"[/color] Raffie said, deadpan. After a moment, she shook her head and snapped out of it, getting back to the point of the conversation. [color=palevioletred]"Yeah, I kinda got it. You were just wa~y too similar. Besides, normal boys aren't that cu— anyway. I didn't think the girl was me."[/color] She smiled sadly, averting her eyes, obviously unsure how to respond to the confession. It was all fun and games to be confessed to by some random boy and turn him down gently, but a sincere and heartfelt confession from Ayla..? [color=palevioletred][i]It's me who's pretending to be something I'm not. We're nothing alike. ...You're what I wanted to be.[/i][/color] Cute—innocent—kind—all traits this world had strangled out of her. Yet, if you didn't at least pretend to have them, no one would want you. Beneath the mask, some vile part of her was brimming with ideas for how she might use Ayla's crush for advantage—but Ayla was so very much like the girl she used to be. It was unconscionable, even monstrous. [color=palevioletred]"Hey, so... If you're Asier, then that means you're engaged, right? We're, uh, pretty much in the same boat, huh."[/color] She looked everywhere but at Ayla, afraid of her eyes, afraid to catch a glimpse of that crushing disappointment she regularly saw in the mirror. [color=palevioletred]"Anyway, I'm not mad. I just..."[/color] she trailed off, not finding the words. [center][youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2zw6vjNdCg[/youtube][/center] Ayla squeezed Raffie’s hand warmly, their fingers interlocked, and she gave her a big smile, releasing a sigh of relief. [colour=009fff]“We have been so terribly guilty about wronging you. It's a relief that you are still open to being with me.”[/colour] She realized she now had a good friend to talk to about that experience with, too. [colour=009fff]“We agree, he was kind of cute, but looked too much like my brother for my tastes. We never knew it would be so awkward being a man as well. It was like you suddenly had to become emotionally stilted. And the cheek of that waiter! Giving us a menu without prices on, unless you are a man. We had thought all the menus were like that.”[/colour] She shook her head in disapproval. Ayla nodded as they discussed engagements. [colour=009fff]“Unfortunately so. Looking for an excuse to break it though. Perhaps we could become a Zeno, and it would be a convenient excuse to disentangle myself from any political arrangements.”[/colour] She popped one of the macaroons in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully for a moment. [colour=009fff]“There's no love in this arrangement. Outside perfunctory gifts and letters, there's nothing there. We have only met him once. But by Ipte, we are not going to live our life without love.”[/colour] She leaned in towards Raffie, as if sharing a secret. [colour=009fff]“We think he is a friend of Tku,”[/colour] she said, bending her hand at the wrist before sitting back. [colour=009fff]“He spends all his time travelling the world. Perhaps we should try to introduce them.”[/colour] She continued to hold her friend's hand, cherishing the gentle connection between them as she smiled. It was comforting to be in Raffie’s company. Ayla saw a little bit of herself in there, and she would have loved a sister like her, rather than the vapid real one she had. Ayla continued to shine brightly towards her friend. Raffaella sighed. [color=palevioletred][i]Why, Oraff? Why are girls so cruel?[/i][/color] She felt Ayla's heartbeat through her fingers and returned a little squeeze. [color=palevioletred][i]Why do we both act like we don't know how this ends?[/i] "Hehe. It's mostly the high-end places that are like that, where girls expect to eat for free." [i]Why did you say that? She can't know you came from the streets. No one can know.[/i] "Well, I've just heard the cheaper places are different. My maid told me about it!"[/color] She cracked a faux childish grin, as if she knew something most people didn't. [color=palevioletred][i]A 'friend of Tku' sounds like a euphemism. Do I want to know?[/i][/color] She pondered, quirked a brow, and shrugged. [color=palevioletred]"Huuh. You're ambitious. I could never be a Zeno. ...Do you hate him?"[/color] she asked curiously. Ayla leaned back and giggled for a moment, [colour=009fff]"The market vendors, you have to barter with them, and the more well-dressed you are, the higher the price goes up."[/colour] A smile appeared on her lips, [colour=009fff]"Maura knew how to get the best deals, though. Every time they tried to overcharge her, she would remark how her father must have been selling to them too cheaply. They adjusted their prices accordingly when she was around."[/colour] She returned to the other matter, [colour=009fff]"No, we don’t hate him. He hasn’t done anything to deserve that."[/colour] With a squeeze of the hand, she asked, [colour=009fff]"What about yourself?"[/colour] [color=palevioletred]"[i]Ooh.[/i] I've never had to haggle before... Show me sometime~?"[/color] she lied pleasantly. [color=palevioletred][i]Well, if you're going [b]that[/b] far down the social ladder, you can get anything for free if you look cute and pathetic enough,[/i][/color] she reminisced, but said nothing. [color=palevioletred][i]The wealthy get stuff for free all the time, too. Who knew there was symmetry at the top and bottom,[/i][/color] she pondered, amused. What she ironically couldn't realize was that being at the top would leave her with just another kind of unhappiness. Even if she couldn't reveal everything about herself, just listening to this girl talk was surprisingly fun—such were her thoughts when the question was returned to her. [color=palevioletred]"Mm. I suppose I'll probably be engaged to someone by the end of our year of Ipte, and I'll have to try to find a way to like him."[/color] It seemed she intended to take her own advice, the advice meant for "Asier." [color=palevioletred]"Getting away from politics really isn't an option for me."[/color] Her mind wandered, first to her first crush, and where he was now as an adult. [color=palevioletred][i]Probably drunk in a ditch somewhere, like the rest of them,[/i][/color] she unceremoniously decided. He'd got what he deserved. Then, she wondered if Ayla had been part of the limited audience who saw her last few matches in Mano e Mano. Ayla blushed a little. [colour=009fff]“No, no, we are terrible at haggling. We always fall for all those sob stories they give us. It's cruel that they use such tales to tell a lie.”[/colour] She shook her head. [colour=009fff]“Maura is better. She can appraise an item for its true worth, considering things like material, labour, and market rates.”[/colour] She made a motion indicative of her dislike for such things. [colour=009fff]“We just act pretty with flowery, well-intentioned words. It tends to work most of the time. More of a big picture approach person, rather than getting bogged down in the details.”[/colour] She smiled as Raffiie spoke of engagement. [colour=009fff]“They would be very lucky to have you. They are in for a real catch,”[/colour] she gave her a playful wink, cheering her friend along. [colour=009fff]“Everything is about politics in our situation. The idea of simply being poor and being with the one you love, as Ipte intended, is nice.”[/colour] [color=palevioletred]"Mmnheehee."[/color] Raffie grinned and giggled. She couldn't help her weakness to flattery. The next statement brought her back to the conversation at hand, however. [color=palevioletred]"What's so romantic about being poor with the one you love? What about being rich with someone you get along with? Or just having both? It's like romance writers have no ambition."[/color] She pursed her lips in a playful pout to disguise a more genuine emotion she felt towards the topic. It occurred to her that she had barely touched the macaroons, but by now it was getting awkward. If she reached for one now, it might seem like she was getting bored and, for some reason, she was feeling extra considerate toward Ayla today. Ayla simply smiled at Raffie’s comments. [colour=009fff]“Rich and in love is certainly the best outcome,”[/colour] her eyes sparkled as she bared her teeth, [colour=009fff]“but those poets say that love is worth more than money, power, and the rest of it. Very romantic.”[/colour] She noticed Raffie’s eyes glancing toward the macarons, yet she didn't move to help herself. [i]Is she waiting for us to do it?[/i] She picked up one of the colourful mouthfuls and brought it to the girl's lips. [colour=009fff]“We have been spoiling you, clearly. Eat up.”[/colour] She pressed the treat to her lips, grinning widely in a teasing manner. Raffaella chose not to dignify Ayla's naive optimism with a response, leaving the topic with a skeptical cheek puff. As if she had read her mind, Ayla offered another macaroon, and Raffie again found herself indulging. [color=palevioletred]"Neu, I wuz jush... haffing fun,"[/color] she admitted, averting her gaze.