[h2]Esme[/h2]
 As Esme waited to see if Natalia would even answer her, Cason spoke up, and she turned her gaze to him. She nodded in understanding. So, she was right. Someone had slipped to Natalia that they had left Cason in the barn, following Dean blindly as they got Duke out of the barn. She sighed inwardly as she turned her gaze back to Natalia, who hadn’t looked at her, feeling her hurt and anger towards her for leaving Canson behind to get Duke out. She couldn’t blame the woman for feeling that way towards her, especially with how she knew Cason saved her life at one point and had given her Sarah. Esme dropped her gaze to the ground and pulled her jacket tighter around herself, starting to wonder if she’d be any help here at all, but as soon as Natalia spoke, Esme lifted her eyes back up to her. She didn’t really expect the woman to say she was alright. That was bad wording on her part, but at least she was speaking to her. As Natalia continued, Esme nodded her head softly, a little surprised that she was spilling so much truth out to her at once. 

Maybe she felt like she could confide in her since they had once been stuck in the same place at the same time, and they could understand each other. She still didn't know Natalia all that well, but what she was saying made it clear she had been lied to her entire life. She had been lied to by those she loved and trusted. Esme could partly sympathize with her because she had been lied to plenty of times by those she loved and trusted. Even with being a human lie detector, it hurt no less. Her father, godmother, Duke, and Dean had all lied to her at some point. A lot of those lies felt like slaps to the face and knives in her heart. Esme’s face softened even more as she listened to Natalia, not attempting to interject her own words, just letting the woman get what she needed off her chest. Then, she spoke about not being able to process her emotions. Esme knew what that was like all too well. There was a time she had the same problem, even more so when the emotions of others were bombarding her. Esme felt as if she would explode and had nothing to release it towards.  

To this day, she still had trouble processing either her or someone else's rage. A slightly amused smirk came to Esme’s lips as Natalia finished talking and softly shook her head. “Don’t worry about the wording. I know exactly how you feel. Before my…. “Exploding moments”…. There were times I couldn’t process my emotions, and nothing but a tree or an old car to take them out on. But I also had the emotions of others mixed in with mine. Processing and controlling your emotions isn’t something you can learn overnight. It will take work. Especially after what you and I have gone through.” she told her. Esme took a couple of steps closer to the car. “If you’d like, I can help you with those emotions.” she offered kindly. She briefly looked down at Sarah as she moved with her and sat down at her side. “As for Dean and how I coped.” she started with a light sigh. “I can’t tell you how many times I asked myself the same question. I almost left several times, but either Duke or Bobby would talk me out of it.” she admitted to Natalia. 

“I think I stayed so long with him because I felt he needed me just as much as I needed him, and I loved him deeply…. Our time together wasn’t all bad either. Some of the hardest times were when he and Duke would butt heads and Duke would run off. And a few times, he got jealous of how close Duke and I got and would confide in each other.” Esme shifted to one foot and felt a knot forming in her throat as she remembered some of those moments. She swallowed down the knot, refusing to let herself give in and tear up, but they still showed in the corners of her eyes. “And since we’re being truthful, I want to apologize for the truth being kept from you. I’m also sorry for my part in leaving Cason behind, but I’m sure you can understand in part why I did it.” she told her. Esme dropped her eyes once again to the ground. “But that’s still no excuse for what he’s done for me, which I am grateful for…. I’m sorry…. Both of you.” After a moment, she looked back up and at Cason. 

“And I’m also sorry for almost attacking you in the asylum before I brought it down. I wasn’t thinking straight, and my emotions blinded me. I just wanted to end it all, feeling like I had nothing left to live for.” she admitted. “I felt that if you could take me out, I wouldn’t explode and risk hurting anyone else, and I wouldn’t have to deal with the pain of losing Duke anymore.” Esme sighed heavily through her nose and wiped away a tear that rolled down her cheek as she stared at the car's hood. “Rage, grief, and loss are emotions that tend to get the better of me.”