trying to get back into 1x1 (i know, joke's on me) and it's getting irritating how much of a document purportedly setting out to establish honest and explicit expectations and network compatible writers together is written in code, jargon, euphemism, and often just, lies? to wit

[indent][table=bordered][row][cell][center]What the interest check says[/center][/cell][cell][center]What it actually means apparently[/center][/cell][/row][row][cell]"I like a ratio of around 70:30 story to smut"[/cell][cell][i]Our characters need to be rutting like dogs in heat from page 2 or I will ghost your ass so fucking hard.[/i][/cell][/row][row][cell]"I like [i]dark[/i] games with [i]flawed, broken characters[/i] fighting [i]insurmountable odds[/i] in a [i]gritty, tragic world[/i] full of [i]horrible people.[/i]"[/cell][cell][i]I want the page-2 sex scene to have some extremely tame BDSM in it.[/i][/cell][/row][row][cell]"If you're busy, stuck, or just losing interest, please let me know! I promise I'm easy to communicate with and I won't take it personally!"[/cell][cell][i]Trying to communicate with me will make you want to kill yourself.[/i][/cell][/row][row][cell]"I'm a novella-level roleplayer"[/cell][cell][i]I will write two of the best posts you've ever read and then never log in again.[/i][/cell][/row][row][cell]"I'm looking for a GM for this plot I have."[/cell][cell][i][u]I'm[/u] the idea guy. [u]You[/u] do all the mental, temporal, and emotional labor of bringing my ideas to life. Asking me for input/insight/opinions/preferences breaches the social contract and will incur a penalty of twenty lashes.[/i][/cell][/row][row][cell]"Dark, mature themes"[/cell][cell][i]Tiddies and ass. Drugs and swearing and butts and balls. Mom lets me sneak sips from her chardonnay during family barbecues so yeah, you could say I'm something of a grownup.[/i][/cell][/row][row][cell]"As for characters, I'd love to play against a gruff, older man with darkness in his heart and a checkered past. A real bad boy, if you will, someone with real flaws, real trauma."[/cell][cell][i]I'll have shadowdaddy #30,267. Easy on the darkness powers, extra angst on the side please.[/i][/cell][/row][row][cell]"I am currently craving [X] genre"[/cell][cell][i]It is three months later and I have lost all interest in writing [X]. But you were a great partner, so would you like to try a game about my new craving, [Y]?[/i][/cell][/row][row][cell]"Feel free to suggest your own ideas in addition to the plots I've posted below!"[/cell][cell][i]I only said that to seem more accommodating and open-minded. Absolutely do not send me your ideas. I am here for One Piece and only One Piece.[/i][/cell][/row][row][cell]"I am only accepting partners aged 18+ for this slice-of-life game about Japanese high school girls. Please DM me for details."[/cell][cell][i]I am a pedophile.[/i][/cell][/row][/table][/indent]