Once Casey was sorted, they were finally able to set off. Trisha was pretty insistent on carrying the bags the whole way, aided by the magical lightening. They only kept on the path for about five minutes before Trisha was taking them off into the forest itself. She made sure to stay close to Casey, explaining each sound they heard as if she was some kind of wildlife tour guide. 

After another while, Trisha led him through a scraggly looking bush with a small gap beside a copse of trees. It wasn’t ideal but… Suddenly things opened out. 

It was a small clearing. Trees circled around it, with grass still stubbornly holding on. At the opposite side to them was a slight mound, then beside it an old fallen tree trunk. It had a peaceful air to it. The trees around it broke the wind, protecting them from the worst of the cold. 

Trisha grinned, slipping off the backpack. She pulled out a picnic blanket and shook it out, carefully placing it in front of an especially thick tree trunk right next to the fallen one. The thermal bag went on it, along with the thicker blanket she’d been carrying. Her whole body turned to Casey with a bright smile, gesturing. 

[color=d1b300]“Take a seat, get comfy- Hopefully having the tree or trunk to lean on is alright for your back? If not, you can just lie with your head in my lap… I’ll feed you.”[/color] She giggled. The bees she’d brought with her crawled out from their hiding places, immediately meandering around the little clearing. 

Trisha didn’t sit immediately, instead opening up the thermal bag and pulling out quite a few cans of soda and a big bottle of water. Then, a lot of little cardboard boxes. Casey would recognise the logo of the bakery she’d sent him to on their first morning on the side of a few. After those were spread across the blanket, there were some tupperwares added. Stuff she’d packed herself. A selection of cut fruit, a bunch of his special bread rolls… some [i]incredibly[/i] roughly put together sandwiches. She looked a bit embarrassed as she put those down. 

[color=d1b300]“I wanted to make most of the picnic… but I could barely make sandwiches. Thankfully the bakery had a nice selection of sandwiches and savoury pastries- though I got a lot of sweet things too.”[/color] 

The whole trip through the forest had been somewhat nerve wracking, if only because Casey was so good at psyching himself up. There was plenty of reason to just let go and walk, being that Trisha seemed to be so unbothered. He’d only briefly dealt with forestry like this anyway, the pine barrens on the foot of the Alps and watching the deciduous varieties lose their precious fans to windshear. Tanninoc beasts, sure, but there were no Green Lux Adepts close enough to create them. Definitely no natural dens either, so they wouldn’t have the problem he had. 
It wasn’t monsters anyway. It was real people. Others who could easily find them if they wanted. Worse, Father Wolf. Casey had already told her he’d die to protect her, and he [i]meant it.[/i]

But as they came further and further into the clearing, he found that it was comfortable despite its mostly barren nature. Maybe it was because of that… Enough space to call a shot and react to something moving on them. In any direction, there were fewer and fewer trees to hide something nasty behind. Even a rudimentary trap could lop the head off a defenseless person without any precautionary warning or notice.
Suddenly, he had a smile again. Up to that moment, the discomfort on his face had been clear, but this was an open refresh of expectations. She’d even picked a rather strategic spot, which Casey wanted to take full advantage of. 

Rather than do exactly as she said, Casey watched from a squatting position as she laid out the food for them. His gloved hand raked gently across the blanket they laid out, and Trisha would be able to feel a slight ripple in the fabric beneath her. Casey’s free hand reached out for one of the sandwiches, giving it a onceover from outside the plastic wrap.

[color=577d06]”Oh, Baby Bee… Don’t you know that the only important part of a sandwich is how much love gets put into it when it’s made?”[/color]
Still grinning, he stood back up fully and came around to kiss her forehead. Then, he continued around her, making his way out into the edges of the clearing. 

He was clearly picking up sticks, ruffage and other stuff… For a fire?
[color=577d06]”You wanna help? I don’t blame you if you wanna keep your hands clean, I just think a fire would be nice.”[/color]

Not that it seemed like they needed it. Over the few seconds it took him to walk from their spot out back to where they’d come from, the blanket had gotten warm enough to make the plastic wrap on the sandwiches loosen slightly.

Trisha smiled softly at him, relieved that he seemed much more relaxed about the location now. She opened up the normal rucksack, pulling out a few more things- plastic plates, cutlery, cups, some napkins. She held up a packet of antibacterial hand wipes.
[color=d1b300]“I came prepared for that.”[/color] Honestly, she’d overprepared. There was even a first aid kit in the bag… just in case.

As the blanket heated up, she moved the soda cans and water bottle off onto the ground beside it. Just to keep them nice and cool. Then she stood up, trailing after Casey. 
[color=d1b300]“I brought an extra blanket too, but a fire’s nicer- more outdoorsy. What exactly am I looking for? Just sticks? I’ve never actually built one.”[/color] 

She bent down to start collecting sticks too, looking at what Casey had and vaguely copying it. Nothing too big, it seemed… Thankfully materials were abundant in this little clearing. 
[color=d1b300]“I never even thought to build one before. I’d always lug a thick blanket with me when it was cold, then I’d sit there all bundled up in it.”[/color] She gestured to the little nook where the fallen tree trunk nestled into the standing one the blanket was in front of.

As Trisha approached, Casey did what she probably wasn’t expecting. Simply put, with a gesture, he attempted to delegate the load. Sliding the bundle of gathered sticks into her arms, he bent down and plucked another kiss on the top of her head.
[color=577d06]”You’ve already found what you’re looking for! Bring ‘em back? I need to get some bigger things chopped if we’ll be here a while.”[/color]

He was grinning as his hand slid down to pull the pocket knife he’d chosen as the new Blade. Having only truly revealed it for the purpose of cutting something on Misty Island, it was still shimmering and fresh as he flicked it open to expand. The massive sword stuffed its own tip into the dirt next to Casey without ceremony or hesitation.

[color=577d06]”Thank yoooooou…”[/color] he said, leaning into it with that big grin he wore so well.

Trisha let out a quiet oof sound as she took the pile of sticks, bending her knees with a joking groan as if it was really heavy.
[color=d1b300]“You better be, making me do all this heavy lifting.”[/color] She teasingly pouted at him, shuffling back over to the picnic blanket and carefully putting the bundle next to it. She smoothly sat down, legs crossing over each other loosely and hands pressing into the warm blanket to let her lean back to watch him. 

[color=d1b300]“Is this the part of the date where I get to ogle you sexily chopping wood?”[/color] She laughed, glancing at the sword. Her smile wavered for a moment, but she tried not to think about what it had last been used for. It wasn’t so much that she’d killed someone with it as that it could’ve been [i]them[/i] instead. 
[color=d1b300]“Most of the time it’s an axe instead of a sword, though.”[/color] 

Casey wagged his eyebrows at Trisha with a nod.
[color=577d06]”Seen a video online of a dude with a chopping sword! I thought it was pretty cool. Kind of pointless, I’ll give you that. But aesthetically pleasing.”[/color]

His foot slipped upward, letting the massive sword make a gentle ring as it flicked off the tip of his shoe and into the air. There was an entire system going on that would’ve taken Casey a long time to explain, but when he swung out and wrapped the side of it against a nearby stump, it split through with seemingly no effort. Except Casey’s stance, which probably did take some great deal of power to produce, as one leg came up to stomp out some extra power into the downward stroke.

It gave Trisha a fantastic view of his pants clinging to his bottom and the glutes below. Of course he turned back and grinned. Before long, he’d minced up three similar grounded corpses, fallen trees dry enough to burn but not so awful that they’d fill the air with rot. He’d managed (wanted to, as was his desire to light Trisha’s life ablaze) to work up enough of a sweat that the upper layers came off. 
He’d long since pulled the shirt out from his belt, and it was open now to give a view of the slightly damp tank top underneath tugging up and down his chest as he hacked away. 

By the time he seemed finished, he was steaming gently in the cold November air. 

[color=577d06]”Who-wee! [i]Nothing[/i] like exercising in the cold. We’re like those uh… Whatta’ya call ‘em? Superconductors? I always think of a dude in a train wearing a cape. But like, they work better in the cold. Or, I guess only work in the cold? Bad comparison…”[/color] he grinned down at her, starting to scoot things out of the way on the blanket before putting some tinder directly down on it.

Without thinking about it, and without much time in between motions, Casey had a lighter in his hand and was clearly moving to light the tinder on the blanket…

Trisha wasn’t sure if they needed the fire anymore… She definitely didn’t feel like she did after watching Casey at work. Her eyes had been practically glued to him, openly and unashamedly watching, even as her face slowly heated up. He had her full attention, which meant she was right there as soon as he tried to [i]light the blanket on fire[/i]. 

[color=d1b300]“Hey, wait!”[/color] Her hand shot out to grasp at his arm, trying to stop its dangerous move towards the tinder. 
[color=d1b300]“Shouldn’t you do that [i]off[/i] the blanket? Are you trying to set it [i]and[/i] us on fire? I mean, you’ve already- well- with me, y’know- but I don’t want it literally catch on fire-”[/color]

Casey, ever empathetic as was necessary, didn’t speak. He simply smiled, put the lighter down, and reached for Trisha’s hand. Bringing it down onto the blanket, he let his fingers entwine, and the two of them would be able to feel the warmth on the blanket. He kept smiling, rubbing her hand gently into the warmth.

[color=577d06]”[i]Light and love, and warmth and blood: That which we hold inside. The length to which we will sustain, and in them all abide.[/i] Usually, all my spells have a little somatic component. I’ve gotten to the point that I can think them in my head, and they conjure the emotions I need to cast the spell. It’s a shortcut. This one, I needed when we were traveling and the convoy got held up crossing from Italy into Austria. It was real cold, and at that point there weren’t a lot of us in the unit who did much with heat. So I did what I could.”[/color]

Pulling his hand away, he went back for the lighter.

[color=577d06]”Smartest thing to do at first, was to make the fucking fabric fireproof.”[/color]

He lit the tinder, and it burst into flame on the blanket, which seemed to naturally settle into some kind of cup-like divot in response. Upon that, he began to stack sticks until the fire was big enough to accept larger and more robust wood pieces. Now it was a campfire, and Casey felt truly at home. Still smiling at Trisha, he took a deep breath and slid the stack of wood closer so he could reach it as he pleased, then settled down to lay his head on Trisha’s lap. 

Casey looked up at her with the gentle smile of a boy and a man both looking for some kind of praise… Or gratification? Love. He knew what he wanted.
[color=577d06]”You’re real great. For everything.”[/color] he stated with great calmness and clarity.

[color=d1b300]“I’m trying my best,”[/color] Trisha replied softly, pushing down her contrasting gut responses: fake overconfidence, or telling him he was wrong. One hand rested on his chest, her fingers making gentle circular motions against the tank top fabric. She leaned forward, hair cascading over her shoulders and across them both. 

[color=d1b300]“You’re the one that just lit a whole fire on a [i]picnic blanket[/i] without burning anything down. That’s far more impressive… thank you.”[/color] She smiled sweetly at him, before pressing a kiss against his lips. Light, but lingering and loving. 

She pulled back enough to speak without having to steal his breath to do so, nose rubbing gently against his. 
[color=d1b300]“What do you want to eat first? I’ll feed you, since you just worked [i]sooo[/i] hard for us.”[/color]

He didn’t speak a reply. Turning his body so he’d be looking up at her directly, he simply pursed his lips a few times, closing his eyes expectantly.

She laughed, face moving to hover over his again. Close enough that he’d feel her gentle breathing, so close that their lips were practically touching… 
[color=d1b300]“When did I say [i]that[/i] was an option?”[/color] She asked teasingly, lips brushing against his. Then moving forward to give him the lightest peck. 

[color=d1b300]“Satisfied?”[/color]

Coyly, Casey looked back up with an almost embarrassed smirk. She’d certainly gotten him back on the situation.
[color=577d06]”I suppose I wouldn’t say no to a little snack… What’s in the boxes?”[/color]

Pushing up enough that he could look with her, he waited for her to show him all the tasty things she’d bought from the bakery. He [i]had[/i] liked the place, and intended to go back several times were it not for Andrade’s unrelenting ability to provide sustenance across the Temple.

Trisha smiled, leaning her upper body towards the food to start opening up the boxes. She’d sorted it in advance, so the first half was all savoury. Small finger sandwiches filled with a variety of vegetable fillings, far fancier from the incredibly simple ones she’d made, along with filled bagels. A variety of bite sized puff pastries with their own varied toppings: tomato, zucchini, pickled onion, a mixture of cheeses… It was like she’d bought each different type they had, while avoiding all meats aside from chicken. 

Then, the sweet treats. Sugar coated donuts, tarts, muffins… just about everything there could be. One box in particular she tilted away from his as she opened it, attempting to sneak whatever was inside out without him seeing. 

Not that it was possible to entirely cover it with her small hands, pastry crumbling off and onto the blanket. She brought her curled up hand over towards him, before opening it up with a grin. 
[color=d1b300]“Ta-dah! Bought these specially for you, since you really seemed to like them. Want one first?”[/color]

Without waiting for an answer, and smiling warmly, she started to move it towards his mouth. But before it was quite there she did a quick, if clumsy, swap. Her hand jerked away and her head jumped forward, putting her lips in the place of the croissant. 

Well intending on taking a massive chunk out of the pastry dangling in front of him, Casey met Trisha almost fully head on with teeth. Nose to nose, lips to chompers, he pulled away in shock and responded with near instant caretaking. 

[color=577d06]”Oh, babe! Oh my God, are you alright!? Let me see, fuck, I didn’t get you too hard did I?”[/color] he questioned in reference to smashing his teeth off her pursed lips.

Trisha just laughed, shaking her head. It had been her fault after all. She probably shouldn’t have tried to replace food with her lips… It wasn’t that bad anyway. He hadn’t bit hard enough to draw blood, and she bit her own lips so frequently they weren’t exactly in pristine condition. 

[color=d1b300]“Mmm… You didn’t. I’ll be alright if you kiss it better.”[/color] She put on a cute little tone, even as she moved her face forward to let him take a look like he’d asked.

He wasted little time after hearing her get all chippy. For a moment, he played like he was checking, but quickly pulled her into a proper kiss. One hand swept up around her cheek keeping her hair pulled back so they weren’t eating great big clumps of their combined locks. That had become the most difficult part of their love life logistically speaking… Keeping both mops from getting totally knotted together.

He pulled away with a smile.
[color=577d06]”Better? Do I get a reward for being such a good kisser, my Queen?”[/color] Casey asked, voice low and almost goading her into the little fantasy he liked to imagine for himself.

[color=d1b300]“What reward do you want?”[/color] She replied softly, one hand tangled in his hair while the other still held the croissant. Her eyes creased gently, full of warmth that radiated across her entire expression. 
[color=d1b300]“Whatever you want… I’ll give it to you, my love.”[/color]

She giggled, breaking the vaguely imagined illusion that she had something grand to give him as a reward, rather than just a croissant or herself.

He shook his head in disbelief, grin plastered on his face as he stared in admiration and disbelief.
[color=577d06]”I think, my Love, I bite of the Croissant. We can talk about what comes next [i]after[/i] I dust the flakes off the blanket.”[/color] he started to laugh slightly.

[color=577d06]”Maybe [i]not[/i] doing the Discovery Channel on your Family’s land when we’re vaguely trespassing. Besides, imagine what it’d do to the food?”[/color] he tried to hold a straight face, but started laughing again, reaching out to pull the pastry into his waiting maw with a chomp.

[color=d1b300]“Mmm, right, the food,”[/color] Trisha laughed lightly, quite happily feeding him the rest of the pastry. Quite frankly, she wasn’t worried about the risk of getting caught - or particularly bothered by it… But she hadn’t actually dragged him all this way to have her way with him or anything. Plus, she had to [i]walk[/i] back, which was often a bit of a struggle after… 

[color=d1b300]“We’ll save the Discovery Channel for later.”[/color] She leaned over to pick up one of the smaller cheese pastries, popping it in her own mouth to quickly eat. Her eyes moved back to him with a hint of nervousness. The kind that she always tried to hide, but was getting much worse at covering up around him…
[color=d1b300]“I, uh, booked somewhere for the night… I figured it’d be nice if we could stay, but if we can’t because of your work that’s fine as well. I didn’t want to ask and ruin the surprise.”[/color]

There was some disbelief combined with surprise in Casey’s face.
[color=577d06]”You [i]what?[/i] Babe! Look at you! So [i]naughty[/i], like we’re rendezvousing without consent or something… Hiding from our own house!”[/color] he laughed.

[color=577d06]”Not that I can really blame you! There’s [i]still[/i] this problem lingering around, I’ve gotta be honest it makes sleeping a little unnerving after that whole thing a couple weeks ago.”[/color] he said, blinking for a moment before looking back up with a concerned look.
[color=577d06]”Uh… Do you [i]want[/i] to move? We can. Wherever you want in the city. Set it up, it’s ours. I’m not attached to the Cannery or anything, y’know? It was just convenient.”[/color] 

[color=d1b300]“No, it’s not that… and if we moved you’d be out more for work, wouldn’t you? We wouldn’t just be a floor apart when I’m not working?”[/color] Trisha pressed her lips together. She hadn’t even thought about moving… Even though there was the constant looming threat of the cats or other sudden intrusions in the Cannery, she lived [i]with[/i] Casey. She could deal with all that pain as long as they were together. Though, she’d assumed he couldn’t move because of his position. 

[color=d1b300]“I don’t want to move while you still have this job, and my bees are in the Greenhouse there. It’d be [i]worse[/i] if we move and then get less time together.”[/color] She frowned a little, playing with a bit of her own hair as she tried to figure out how to explain [i]why[/i] she’d booked somewhere for the night. It was  a mix of things… 

[color=d1b300]“I thought it’d just be nice to spend the night somewhere else. It’s a change of scenery and… you can’t sneak off to your office in the middle of the night. Maybe you can actually get some sleep before the last few days of organising Thanksgiving.”[/color]

Casey wagged his eyebrows again playfully.
[color=577d06]”Hardly rest after you’ve threatened me with such a good time… It’d be the second hotel room we destroy.”[/color] he laughed again, moving to grab a drink for himself.

[color=577d06]”You want something? Should we take turns feeding one another?”[/color] he giggled.

[color=d1b300]“That’d be romantic,”[/color] Trisha smiled sweetly in response. Romantic, but inefficient… But a romantic picnic together wasn’t exactly about eating efficiency. 

[color=d1b300]“Am I allowed one of your croissants?”[/color] The question seemed genuine, even though technically she bought everything here… but she’d bought those specially for him, after noticing how much he liked them. But that then meant she wanted one just to… share something he liked. 

[color=d1b300]“You can feed me that, or- or anything. I like all of it.”[/color] She parted her lips, looking at him expectantly. 

Casey’s gaze lingered on Trisha for a while. He wasn’t worried about sharing: That came naturally in this instance. It was the way she asked, the nerves with which she went about it. As if he’d bite her for asking. Hoping one day she’d break that streak, he did his best to reduce the strain of waiting for what was coming. 
There was a gentle tilt of his head. A knowing nod not to her, but to her anxieties. The scared little girl worried about rejection behind the little anxieties that facade her today.

He reached for the croissants, pulling one out and sitting up fully. He motioned toward his lap, for her to come and be comforted as the fire slowly washed over them. The blanket seemed to curl around as necessary, keeping the burning wood both stable and held up by a catch for the ash. The were in a fantastic spot, and Casey naturally shuffled closer to the spot where he could see his back being most supported: Just like Trisha had planned.

[color=577d06]”Come here, My Sweet Girl… Let me be your world again and forever.”[/color] 

Trisha didn’t need much coaxing to climb into Casey’s arms. She sat sideways in his lap, legs bent and hooked over his and her upper body leaning into his chest. It was enough to wash away those lingering nerves. She always felt safe here. Like nothing could get to her… it was just them. 

Her neck stretched up, head darting forward to take a tentative bite of the croissant he was holding. She chewed it slowly, savouring the taste with a quiet hum.

[color=d1b300]“You’re always my world. Have you ever seen me looking anywhere else? And I’m always thinking about you…”[/color] 

Casey grinned down at her, finger coming up to wipe a crumb off her cheek.
[color=577d06]”Only at a computer screen… But that doesn’t count now, does it?”[/color]

The filling inside the pastry looked so good it was hard for him not to dive in, but there were more in the box. He’d have his fill and more in gluttony. Thankful for the little things, he knew it’d be alright. There was no need to worry here and now.

[color=577d06]”Speaking of… Anything new recently? Big jobs?”[/color] he asked casually, just reaching for things to talk about.

[color=d1b300]“Not really… I don’t tend to get many big jobs. I don’t have the degree, and all my experience is in contracting… the longer term jobs tend to want someone who’s worked in the industry a while,”[/color] Trisha explained, shrugging one shoulder. She paused to finish off the rest of the croissant. She wriggled forward, leaning away from him to grab a soda before immediately cuddling back up to him. 

[color=d1b300]“Rey thinks her workplace might be looking for someone again- a couple of months kinda thing. I’ve worked for them before. It’s a small place, so they can’t really afford another developer… But I’m not sure if I’ll take it.”[/color] Her face scrunched up as if she was starting to think about it right there and then. It wasn’t exactly something she was agonising about. It was a maybe, and a job she could turn down easily enough. Technically she didn’t have to work at all. The money she got from trust along with a large allowance from Ezra was more than enough to live comfortably. 

[color=d1b300]“I was thinking I’d start working on a website for my business. Right now the bees are only producing enough to cover what Andrade’s getting, but eventually there’ll be more.”[/color]

Casey made an enthusiastic face, nodding along as he reached down to snag her soda. He’d gotten himself one too, but hers was already open, so… Sliding it from her hand, he snagged a gulp then slid it back in place with a playful look.

[color=577d06]”Well that’s probably a big project, right? A whole website sounds like a lot of work. How long? Months?”[/color] he asked without thinking much about the question.

Trisha paused pouting up at him while protectively holding her soda can against her chest to laugh. 
[color=d1b300]“That really depends, Babe. Sure, if I wrote it all in vanilla HTML and javascript it’d take a while. But there’s all kinds of frameworks to make things easy for you… The basics will take me maybe a day? But then it’s getting it exactly how I want, making it usable and like… Unique, I guess? But it won’t take months. Probably more like a week-” if I don’t sleep much.[/color]

She stopped herself from saying that bit out loud. 
[color=d1b300]“Well, longer since I’ll be juggling getting honey and… spending time with you. Which is way more important.”[/color]

Casey reached for one of the savory, cheese-filled bits to stuff down before noticing his own rolls. A little fodder between the good stuff would keep him from pigging out too hard. So as he ripped one open to hold out to the fire for a little toasting, he considered what Trisha was saying.

[color=577d06]”Well, the next few days will be difficult. But, I think we’ll be okay if we can just work together. I mean literally, like… You can do that stuff on a laptop, right? So why be far away from me when you’re working? If I need to take a call, you just pick up the machine and walk away, then come back. Easy.”[/color] he offered to her, hoping that the offer would make her feel more at ease.

[color=577d06]”It’s just as important as spending time with me: It’s your work. At least, I feel like it’s important.”[/color]

Trisha nodded thoughtfully. She’d never really thought of her work as that important… it was more something to do, to help with the boredom. An extra income just in case she was somehow cut off. She knew she was incredibly lucky because of that but… This business was different in a way. It was entirely hers, and it was focused around her bees. 

[color=d1b300]“You’d really be fine with me curled up coding in your lap? Because I’m going to want to sit there if we’re working in the same room.”[/color] She watched him carefully for his reaction. Working in the same room could mean a lot of things… But she’d want to be close. She tended to use her laptop for exactly what it was named after: in her lap, or perched precariously on her knees. If it was on a desk she may as well use an actual computer… 

[color=d1b300]“Is that really fine?”[/color]

He just smiled down at her as genuinely as I could.
[color=577d06]”You getting it done is important to me too. If that happening means shadowing you as much as I can, then sobeit. I’m happy to let my legs get numb.”[/color] he offered again, just as sincerely as before.

Trisha stared at him for a little bit, just in case he changed his mind, before smiling. She stretched her head up to softly kiss his cheek.
[color=d1b300]“Mkay, if you’re sure. Y’know, now that I know I can work with you, I’m never going to want to use my office?”[/color] She joked. Though she’d love to do that, she didn’t want to be [i]too[/i] clingy… and there were some things she needed her proper desktop for. Thankfully coding a website wasn’t one of them. 

[color=d1b300]“Also, speaking about the bees… Do you remember our first night together? When I talked about how I could get more, and about getting… Apparition meat or a soulless body for that.”[/color] She spoke calmly about it… It had been something she’d thought about a lot, in the quiet moments she had alone in between the current chaos. If that was something she could really do. If she could actually do that… Create more bees in flesh. 

She could. She’d grown fairly numb to that kind of grotesque thing during the Stygian Snake. 
[color=d1b300]“I wasn’t in a rush before, but if the Temple’s collapsing… I’d like to try while I still can. If you think that’s possible?”[/color]

Collapsing… [i]Certainly.[/i] Casey didn’t say much, but nodded rapidly.
[color=577d06]”Yeah. I think it’d be relevant. I also… Think we should start another hive. A natural one, like something you had before. A go-box, in case something happens to the Greenhouse that we can’t stop. Remember, the entire mechanism is somewhere else: All your bees live in a hermetically sealed test chamber in a lab under the Temple. There's a not-zero chance that something could happen to them, and we don’t want you to restart from zero.”[/color]

If he thought for more than a second that anyone would touch that chamber without going through Gin and Jekyll first, he was sorely mistaken. But would she be enough in the end? Between her and Mia making Princess with an emergency escape hatch, he hoped they’d avoid any great problems with keeping the precious cargo safe.

[color=577d06]”Um… What [i]does[/i] happen if you go to zero?”[/color] he asked, stopped cold by the worst thought.

The thought of losing all of her current bees was enough to set off Trisha’s panic. Her eyes blew up wide as she really thought about the situation they were in. If something went wrong… if she couldn’t get all of them out through Princess. She’d put them in there because she trusted Casey. She still trusted him, which meant if he said it was a risk… 

She didn’t want to lose them. The bees she’d had with her for over ten years. She’d already lost enough recently… 

[color=d1b300]“I don’t know…”[/color] Trisha spoke quietly, barely above a whisper. A shudder ran through her at the thought. What would happen? There was already a hive when she first Adjoined. A small one, but a group of bees nonetheless. 

[color=d1b300]“I don’t want to lose them all.”[/color] She shook her head, sucking in a harsh breath. 
[color=d1b300]“Maybe it won’t matter. If [i]all[/i] of them die at once, maybe I’ll die with them.”[/color]

Her reaction only made it more imperative that there be further precautions taken.
[color=577d06]”A hive-vault then. We’ll work with Gin, the few Adepts she’d trust to handle it… And we’d make a bee bunker. Something only you and Princess can access, given you’re both so connected to the Queen. Maybe the corpse-feeding will work there, since there’s no light for flowering plants. We wouldn’t have to bother with high-powered grow lights and complex air filtration, just basic ventilation and minimal lighting for when you need to go yourself.”[/color]

He was already thinking of where to put something like that. Without alerting Clarissa or the Portal Corps to the work, they’d need to find an alternative closer by. One Trisha would be able to visit like all the other hives, so they didn’t panic and lose her as their Queen.
Or, maybe there’d be a chance for some kind of surrogate? A princess type bee, who could accept and extend the range of Trisha’s pheromones. Even an artifact that he made himself could probably do that…

[color=577d06]”I can think of plenty of things to try, but all I know is we [i]should try something.[/i] You’re unfortunately right, after all. Things are gonna fall apart sooner rather than later.”[/color] he sounded a little somber at that. But it was the only real reason he could do things like this with her. 

If he was trying like Furio tried for years, she’d be in their house right now and he’d be murdering Abberations just like her for talking about rebelling against the inner circles. He had to think constantly about the separation between his work, his faith, and his unwavering sense of truth and justice. What was right, after all, was right.

[color=577d06]”And we should look at ways of bridging the distance between you and them. Maybe some kind of bee that mimics your smells, so the bees don’t get cranky.”[/color]

It was a lot to think about, so Trisha took her time to respond. She wasn’t sure how growing the bees in corpses worked in the first place… Could it be in some place she could just leave them. From the vague idea she’d gotten from the Queen, it seemed like something she’d have to actively tend. 

Then there was keeping the bees alive in the first place. Casey was right, they should try something. She shouldn’t get herself stuck on the worst case and just accept it would happen… like she so often did. There were ways to keep the bees safe. Her gut reaction was to just pull all of them out of the Greenhouse. 

But then where did they go? They’d still be on Temple grounds. And she wasn’t going to leave Casey… 

[color=d1b300]“That might work… I’ve never tried it. I don’t think these bees have the capacity, but maybe if I make one a different way. That might be possible. It’s something we can try.”[/color] She said eventually, hands clasping together nervously in her lap. There was a chance it was possible. The Queen had said she’d only unlocked a small amount of the power she had access to. 
[color=d1b300]“But they’ll get cranky anyway if they’re stuck inside a hive-vault they can’t leave.”[/color]

It was difficult. The whole scenario was hard to deal with, and she wasn’t trying to make more problems or disagree, but… 
[color=d1b300]“Moving them all to some land elsewhere wouldn’t be enough, would it? It would need to be safer? But, Casey… I don’t know what’ll happen if I lose the numbers I have now. You- you saw what it was like after the fight with Lila.”[/color]

Casey nodded calmly.
[color=577d06]”Of course. That’s why I want to take care of it while we’ve got the foresight. I just fear something happening to the Eden Labs. They’re the most heavily defended: The only time they’ve been raided successfully was… Something to do with Sycamore members. She let ‘em get through; sent Leon after them, told him to scare ‘em but let it ultimately end.”[/color]

That was years ago now: Otherwise, he knew of dozens, maybe hundreds of raids from local groups staged against the Temple that ended in failure because of the ultimate strategic prescience of Lynette Richoux. It was so easy to forget that she had that capacity… That she could fight, even. Maxwell hadn’t let her live an idle life as a trophy wife, after all. She was already a specimen considering her stock was just as much from the enigmatic Hill covens dotting the Canadian wilderness as it was from the white trash suburban Hunters. And, having only met Grampie Hunter once but finding himself with plenty of memories passed down, he had to say that he wasn’t a very impressive man.

And then when they both started partaking in the ritually parted Apparitions that Andrade specialized in butchering, the Oblivium only left her stronger. Faster. More inhuman, and in spite of all her lingering insecurities and traumas left untreated. It was amazing she wasn’t more violent, but he also knew that the physicality made her anxious. It made the spells less potent. Measured combat was necessary for Lynette, as she needed to see every single step that was coming next.

It’s why she closed her eyes.

[color=577d06]”I feel like they’re… [i]Safe.[/i] Unless someone internally wanted to hurt you. Like, they’re something that, in the end? Probably will end up in a dark corner of the Labs. Not smashed and burning. But, better safe than sorry.”[/color]

Someone internal that wanted to hurt her… Trisha could think of someone. All too easily. Lena seemed to hate her enough that she’d seek out the hives and destroy them. Petty enough to do it during whatever fighting occurred… 

[color=d1b300]“Who can get to them?”[/color] She asked, trying not to panic about the thought that someone who disliked her could access the hive. How restricted was it? She’d never even thought about it before, but she should’ve… 

[color=d1b300]“Can Lena?”[/color]

Casey stopped for a moment, looking at her as he considered the possibilities. She’d certainly know [i]where to go[/i].
[color=577d06]”No. I made sure that chain of command issues got settled when Elise took back the seat as Mom’s assistant. Anyone who would’ve let her into those restricted areas knows not to now. So, we’ve got time, right? Gin’s ultimately in charge of keeping that shit. And she’s an Abberation, so, obviously they’re gonna listen to her. Lena likes her too, in a weird way. Gin’s got everyone’s heart! I know she’ll do right by you.”[/color] he was fairly convinced of this regardless of any lingering doubt.

Trisha nodded, calming down just a little bit. As long as it wasn’t easy for her to get to them… Trisha did trust Gin to keep them safe, as much as she could trust anyone that wasn’t herself or Casey. 

[color=d1b300]“I know she will too, just… last time I saw Lena I gave her a full blast of pheromones. And- well, with what she said, she hates me enough to kill the bees.”[/color] Her lips pressed together into a harsh line as she unwillingly remembered that encounter… Three weeks ago. It felt like a lifetime… Thankfully she hadn’t seen Lena since. 

[color=d1b300]“But if she can’t get to them [i]now[/i]... Well, like you said, we have time. We’ll figure something out. Either way, I’ll need more bees and more hives.”[/color]

Casey nodded emphatically, finally making way for something else on the blanket of snacks. One of Trisha’s haggard sandwiches, which he was actually looking forward to. The one he grabbed and unwrapped very quickly started to come apart. Clearly, having used no mortar-condiment to hold the creation together, it was a butchered amalgam of cooked chicken leftovers he’d made a few nights ago, half shredded until it seemed like she gave up and stuck the remaining breast into the heel of the bread. 

There was cheese, at least, but as he bit into it he nearly crumpled at the taste of cucumber hidden under it. None of it was awful on its own, but coming together, it had some fairly jarring inconsistencies. Mindlessly, he started to look around the bag for any sign of a mayo or mustard packet. Something to whet the sandwich. He’d take her spit if it meant the bread wouldn’t stick to the roof of his mouth and uphold a ball of dry, cold chicken.

And there it was… She was so thoughtful that she’d actually brought it without putting it on the sandwich. Pulling one out, then another, he held them up at Trisha.
[color=577d06]”Babe! Good thinking: The sandwich stays nice and firm if you let the person eating it put the mayo on… Last thing you want is a soggy, plastic-cling wrapped sandwich that’s been swimming in a mayo bath for hours.”[/color]

Clearly satisfied, he began to open the sandwich and pick the remaining cucumbers out before applying mayo, eating each one on its own rather than wasting them.
[color=577d06]”Also, for me? Lettuce, maybe… Just for next time! Still, you did a great job. Better than the Army ever did.”[/color] he smiled at her, taking a much more enthusiastic second bite with mayonnaise on it.

How bad had the sandwiches been in the Army? 
[color=d1b300]“Did they not have bread in the Army, or something?”[/color] Trisha asked, struggling to take the compliment for something that was clearly badly made. 

She couldn’t even agree that she’d been smart in bringing along the mayonnaise separately. But she could pretend, right? He didn’t need to know about the first great sandwich failure! Just lie and say that it was definitely for all the reasons she’d said. 
But they’d said they wouldn’t lie to each other… if she couldn’t do it for small things, how could she for bigger ones? 

The smile she gave Casey could only be described as pained. Her head dropped shamefully, one hand shuffling around into her coat pocket to pull out her phone. Rather than describe what had happened, it’d be easier to show it… 

Without saying anything, Trisha held up her phone right in front of Casey. It showed a chat with Cass- most of the screen was taken up by a picture of a… sandwich? It was difficult to tell because the bread was coming apart. Like it had taken a mayo bath for hours, except the amount of mayonnaise oozing out of it made it clear that it was just [i]full of it[/i]. Right below the picture was a message from Trisha asking what she’d done wrong, followed by a whole string of laughing emojis from Cass. 

[color=d1b300]“I figured it’d be easier to not put any mayo in it…”[/color]

Casey’s face became flat. So flat you could tell the time if he lifted his head in the sunshine. 

[color=577d06]”I…”[/color]

He looked like he was in pain for a moment, like he was passing a kidney stone, or dealing with a cramp. What was it? What had become stuck in him like this? Did he explain? Bother to tell her at all? Would she laugh? No… It truly wasn’t worth it. Better to play the straight and narrow than make her feel awkward. 

[i]But the joke was so close.[/i] Right there, looking at him. Like he couldn’t escape. The floodgates had opened the other night, and in spite of his non-necessity when it came to the deed… [i]He’d seen things.[/i] Real things, that had been in his eyes and had done with his hands.[/i] It was a joke that he could hear his Father’s voice making. That fucking French [i]hon hon[/i] following it up.

[color=577d06]”C-christ… L-ooks like… Uh…”[/color]

The discomfort was clear. Maybe Trisha would think he was going into another panic attack, but he was truly trapped between base instinct and his desire for Trisha to see him as [i]ideal.[/i] An ideal man wouldn-

[color=577d06]”I mean… The length? The girth? The froth? Looks like my dick the other night, Babe… What the fuck happened there?”[/color]

Trisha stared at him for a moment. Just like when Casey had been trying to hold it in, it was difficult to tell what she was thinking and feeling. Maybe she was judging him for stooping to that level. Maybe she was upset… 

With a completely deadpan expression, one finger moved out to scroll further down the chat with Cass. Past the wall of laughing emojis. Finally, there was another message, which her finger pointed to. 

[code]Cass: LOOKS JUST LIKE MY DICK, HAHA![/code]

[color=d1b300]“Cass already made that joke, Babe…”[/color] She tried to keep the straight face up but it cracked, a little giggle escaping. Then another, as she leaned up to lightly kiss him before pulling back with a teasing grin. 
[color=d1b300]“I prefer yours, though.”[/color]

She shook her head with another laugh, putting her phone away and curling back in towards him. She was glad he’d made the joke. It, strangely, made her feel less awkward about the sandwich tragedy. 
[color=d1b300]“I just… I didn’t know how much was the right amount. And then I squeezed the bottle too hard, and it just absolutely soaked it.”[/color]

Her head tilted up to look at him again with a playful smile.
[color=d1b300]“I [i]wish[/i] it was that easy with you.”[/color]

He already had his face in his hands. As soon as she showed him that, an out-of-context message from Leon made total sense. He mirrored her, pulling out his phone and scrolling to an unreplied text from Leon that simply read “Cum sandwich”. No punctuation, no lead up. Only a timestamp that was moments after Cass’ wall of emojis followed by the very same joke. Shaking his head, Casey turned the phone's face back down and tossed it to the side. 

 [color=577d06]”I hate that they’re together, but I kind of love that they’re together… It’s stressful in a good way.”[/color] he said as if that made any kind of sense. Maybe it would to Trisha.

[color=d1b300]“They’re perfect for each other.”[/color] Trisha sounded a little pained saying that, just like she felt seeing the message from Leon. [i]Of course[/i] Cass had shown Leon. She should’ve known. Now she was never going to live it down… 
[color=d1b300]“They make each other worse, but also keep it a bit more contained, so in the end… It’s just as stressful as it was before. Though I didn’t have to worry about my friend showing by boyfriend’s brother my pathetic sandwiches before.”[/color]

She did understand perfectly what Casey was saying, and felt the same way about it, even though she couldn’t really get it across either. She let out a quiet groan, pressing her face against Casey.
[color=d1b300]“I’m just going to have to accept that Leon will see anything I send Cass from now on, won’t I? At least she’s not telling me about the sex for once outta respect for you or something.”[/color]

Casey’s grin became somewhat evil as he finished another bite of the sandwich. It was probably the built-in need to compete between his brother and him crawling back up to the surface.
[color=577d06]”Oh fuck it, just tell her! Imply, whatever, but… Y’know, I say you shouldn’t be shy. Not to your friends. Besides, y’think I may feel good knowing that-”[/color]

He stopped before he could continue, and the cogs in his brain were very quickly churning up a bit of smoke. It gave Trisha enough time to lambast him, should the initial comment be taken for something he hadn’t intended.

[color=d1b300]“What, do you want me to tell Cass so she can tell Leon so he’ll stop with the Virgin jokes?”[/color] Trisha blurted out, unable to think of another reason that he’d want her to talk about it. It wasn’t that she was particularly shy with her friends, either… If any asked, she’d gladly say that they’d done it. Not the details… But what she really didn’t want was to hear about all the sex Cass was having with [i]Leon[/i].

Casey quickly became red.

[color=577d06]”N-no… It’s… Nice to be wanted. You know that. I guess it’s just nice to know that you’d talk me up if the topic came up between your personal friends. I wouldn’t expect you to abstain from the conversation or anything… I wasn’t ever raised with it being taboo like that.”[/color] he tried to explain.

[color=577d06]”I guess it’s weird. Maybe for the best if you didn’t, I don’t know.”[/color]

He looked down, then away, then threw a hand up in front of his eyes to shake his head before taking a deep breath and coming back to the world in front of him.
[color=577d06]”Sorry. No need for me to kill the vibe, right? You handle your business with Cass as you like, far be it for me to tell you how to conduct yourself.”[/color] he finished, shrugging the moment off and kissing the top of her head like she’d forget.

Trisha frowned a little bit as she thought it through. He was encouraging her because it made him feel wanted, and he thought that she was… holding back on talking about it to not upset him, or something? She could see where he’d gotten that from with what she’d said. As much as he’d tried to move it on, Trisha didn’t want that lingering.

At least, she knew how it’d end up for her. The clinging anxiety. 
[color=d1b300]“You know I would talk about it, right? I [i]did[/i]- just not to Cass. I ended up, uh…”[/color] She turned a bit red too.
[color=d1b300]”...bragging to Sal after the first time cause I just had to tell [i]someone[/i]. Normally it would be Cass, cause Rey’s my ex and Diyah would just block me. But I don’t want to talk to Cass cause… I just really don’t want to hear about what she’s doing with Leon! I really [i]don’t[/i]!”[/color]

After a moment of chewing and rolling his head in a gentle motion, he started to smile and nod. Truly, it had nothing to do with her being nervous about it… She was just sparing herself a far more gritty and degenerate fate in the long run. Finally, he was nodding with true acceptance, and his arms wrapped around her in a big hug.

[color=577d06]”Crazy, isn’t it? How I talked about an insecurity I was feeling, and you were able to both placate me and still put me at ease regardless? All ‘cuz we talked about it?”[/color] he said with a breathy laugh.
[color=577d06]”And now I don’t have to feel anxious that you’re keeping yourself clammed up over something, and we also have a unified ideal when it comes to talking to those two about… [i]Our business[/i].”[/color]

He smiled and gave her a knowing wink, being sure to crawl his head around her so she could see it alongside his shitty grin.

Trisha laughed, before nodding with a smile. She’d already heard enough shit from Cass with previous partners that she hadn’t particularly wanted to, but she very much drew the line here. Partly because it was Leon, partly because she knew it’d be way [i]more[/i]. 
[color=d1b300]“Mhm, I’d rather… it’s all kept separate from them. We all know it happens, but I don’t want any details going either way. I’m glad we agree on that.”[/color]

That was generally how it was when it came to family members… But Casey and Leon had been brought up in what was essentially a sex cult, so of course talking about it like that was normal. Whereas in her family… They’d all rather die than share any details of their personal lives with each other, nevermind something so intimate. 

Since they were already talking about… things… insecurities… 
[color=d1b300]“Can- Can I ask you something? An insecurity, I guess?”[/color] She bit her lip, forcing the question out before she could backtrack and just throw it back into the vast sea that was her many, many insecurities. 

Losing any sense of humor, Casey’s arms immediately softened and almost took Trisha into him like the brace on a roller coaster.
[color=577d06]”Oh, of course! Anything I can do to make you feel a little better, Babe. What’s up?”[/color] he asked, keeping his head braced to look down at her rather than anywhere else.

[color=d1b300]“Do you…”[/color] Trisha frowned, trailing off. How did she even ask this? Did she want to? But she’d already asked if she could. She [i]should[/i]. He’d already said it was fine in a way before, but that didn’t stop her feeling anxious about it. 
[color=d1b300]“Are you [i]really[/i] fine with… Me being so many of your firsts, when you’re not mine? Not- Not just sex. But other things too. It doesn’t upset you at all? B- Because you were alone all this time while I was stumbling from person to person, trying and fucking it up? You don’t think it’s… unfair?”[/color]

The wheels seemed to hitch. Whatever thoughts were going on in that big skull of his, Casey was struggling trying to form them. There was oil between the gears, sure. They were turning. But whatever the process at the end was, it seemed to be holding up the whole machine. What exactly? Well… He’d learned plenty of things vicariously. Not least, lessons on what to do and what not to do based on personally witnessed anecdotal evidence. But, maybe the story would help her contextualize things.

[color=577d06]”Well… Babe… You remember Lieutenant Pikeman? The dude with the glasses, and the big red clown hair? His goofy ass… One time, we were at a bar. He’d been trying his hardest to pick up this server, and she seemed interested enough. Probably the tips. But, one night, he drunkenly tells her about some of the shit he did in the war. Then, mistakenly as it turned out, he asked a question. Of course, after she finally spilled the beans that she wasn’t single. The ego has to take a stab, right? So you don’t feel bad.”[/color]

He paused, taking a breath and popping the last bit of his sandwich into his mouth before cracking his own drink open and taking a sip to wash the dry section down.

[color=577d06]”Essentially, this dude asks her if her boyfriend could kill anyone. Had killed anyone. If he even had the balls to join a service and kill for our country. Obviously, that sort of thing killed any further working relationship between the two, and now he doesn’t drink. He’s also found a girlfriend who can kick his ass, so that probably helped. But-”[/color]

Another pause, with Casey gesticulating about with his hands as he looked for the right way to tie in the point.

[color=577d06]”It’s… All so small when that’s been in your life. Like the teenage social life I missed out on, or all those firsts that could’ve been. If things had been a little different, we’d be in the same shoes. Hell, I’d probably have been in Sycamore too. Then where would we be? Me, hating you too for something my Brother told me I had to? There’s… There’s really not anything for me to be insecure about. Like Pikeman said… Have any of them killed? Would they? Could they stop me from killing them if push came to shove? It’s animalistic, but for warriors like us, those are just the metrics…”[/color]

That… made some sense. At least, Trisha could see where he was coming from and why he wouldn’t feel insecure about it. And she was glad it hadn’t been like that- that they hadn’t met during the Sycamore years. When she’d been even more reactive and resentful. He would hate her now… 

[color=d1b300]“None of them could.”[/color] She shook her head, the nervousness in her gaze seeming to dim the more she thought about it. He was right about it being animalistic but… It made things simpler. She didn’t mind it. It was an easy one to answer too. Even the people she’d dated when she was in the Sycamore probably couldn’t… As far as she was aware, most had left the magical world as much as possible afterwards. 

Perhaps Reyna would stand a chance, but it wasn’t like that’d ever be an issue. 

[color=d1b300]“It’s silly that it’s such a big thing to me, isn’t it? I know it wasn’t the same, but I did fight a world ending threat as a teenager… But maybe that’s why? Even while we were dying, we were still teenagers. The drama was even worse, somehow. Something like that was always brought up- like the nickname. Then, with my family and… Well, you’re just my first partner to not be bothered by it.”[/color]

She tilted her head, before a smile started to bloom across her lips. 
[color=d1b300]“Mm, I guess you’re a lot of important firsts for me anyway.”[/color]

Casey smiled down at her. The acceptance was massive; the idea that she at least understood that he knew it was wrong to think about it that way, but didn’t go out of her way to make him feel bad over it… He really couldn’t have asked for a better reply. 


[color=577d06]”I cherish what I am to you. The sum of it all, if that makes sense. You can have plenty of firsts. People’s firsts get stolen. My first kill was an accident, for all intents and purposes. Do I count it? The random artillery shell that struck somewhere and surely killed some enemy soldier? Or do I think about the best? Do I think about seeing McKlusky’s face when I pulled that Hellhound off of him with my bare hands and stuffed it under the track of a moving Sherman? Seems better than the first.”[/color] he wondered if that would go over her head too.

[color=577d06]”Uh… Or, like… The first burger I ate, I was a little kid. I wouldn’t remember it. But I remember the last burger I had before I started feeling queasy about ground beef. To this day, it was the best.”[/color]

Trisha understood what he was saying about his first kill, making the swap to his first burger entertaining… morbid to mundane. Honestly, if he'd started with that one it would've felt trivialising. Not that she thought her first time was on the same level as his first kill… 

Her first time had been a mess, but one she looked back on fondly. It wasn't stolen like her first kiss was. That clumsy first time… Sneaking into her home as the sun rose, energised by a supernatural fight gone well for once. It was quick, bad, and she barely got anything out of it… but sweet. There was no explosive breakup afterwards to make her look back on it any differently. 

Just one dead boy. 
So many people had blamed her for it, when she wasn't even with him. Was she? That whole night was fuzzy. Like she'd blacked out- but she had. She'd almost died. Only known when she woke up and desperately asked where he was. Delirious from all the pain then passing back out when she was told he was dead. It had been much worse after that. 

Trisha's smile faltered for a moment, one hand sneaking up to grip the fabric of her top above her abdomen. The scar. A nervous gesture whenever she thought about that. She considered telling Casey… but what? That her first time didn't compare to him at all, just like no other time did, but that he was also dead? She couldn't…

[color=d1b300]“I understand. My latest kill was much better than my first, because it was to protect [I]us[/I]. My first… Wasn't on purpose. Someone controlled by the Snake. We had to kill them because there was no way to get rid of it…"[/color] She shuddered. Hopefully he'd assume it was that thought that made her expression worsen. A strange redirection from one Snake related trauma to another… 

[color=d1b300]“You’re definitely the best choice I've ever made."[/color] She turned her body to fully press into him for comfort. Her cheek pressed against his chest as her head tilted up to still look at him. The feeling of someone so solid and warm holding her helped with those lingering feelings of fear. He wasn't going to disappear. He didn't feel upset that she'd had so many experiences before. As long as his first and best both stayed as her… 

[color=d1b300]“You’re the best of a lot for me. I'd say the best for everything, but I don't want your ego to get too big,"[/color] Trisha smiled again, like nothing had been the matter. No trauma thought of or brought up. 
[color=d1b300]“I really love you. I've never brought anyone else here either… Since it was my safe place before."[/color]

Listening to Trisha talk about the feeling of things being them made Casey feel a warmth he hadn’t quite felt in a long time… Besides with her, of course… It was a comradery, and a level of association between them that couldn’t be achieved except through love, or war. There would probably never be the sense of community he felt between himself and the crew he killed men with. But Trisha [i]knew[/i]. And not in some bullshit way either. 

Leon got it. The people left over from the Sonnenrad War… Dad would’ve gotten it. There was a lot of grief that he could’ve made the moment about. The feeling of wanting to break down and cry in the comfort of her lap, especially after feeling so vulnerable when they’d arrived. But that was unfounded ultimately: This was her sanctuary. So often visited that she must have trusted the condition it was in. He was foolish to think that she’d bring him to some random forest, even if it was minutes from her childhood home. 

Spontaneity was never his strong suit. Not like that. Spontaneous to him was a fifteen mile hike with half a camp in a sled behind him. Planning for a date three days in advance with basic local attraction knowledge was equal to an invasion plan as far as the US Army was concerned. The amount of effort it took was worth it to give to her. But, she… Did things she [i]never[/i] would’ve done. Like the sandwiches. And now she was calling him her best? On a lot of things?

[color=577d06]”Well… Your private sanctuary means a lot to me. I’ll protect it like its part of you… I’d say you should consider keeping a hive out here, but anyone who knows you would expect bees near this place. So close to the big house, I mean…”[/color] he offered the idea, still thinking about places she could hide a hive.

[color=d1b300]“Anyone who knows me wouldn’t expect me to come within [i]miles[/i] of that place, so it might work.”[/color] Trisha’s laugh was half amused, half bitter. Her childhood home had very few good memories for her. She’d left it as soon as she had the chance- living in that pristine white house with other sisters had been preferred over a place filled with negative memories. 

[i]Here[/i] wasn’t all positive either. There were as many bad memories as there were good… Not that she’d tell Casey that. All those times she’d cried, raged at how unfair the world was, curled up against the tree feeling broken and abandoned. But it was [i]her[/i] place. Somewhere she could be free, alone, and truly herself. The only place she could simply be her…

Before Casey. 

[color=d1b300]“Nobody knows about this place. Not- not the forest, obviously, but the clearing… And that I came so often. My siblings always assumed I was out seeing boys. They didn’t even notice the first time I snuck out and spent a whole day here.”[/color] She rolled her eyes. It wasn’t like it was much different from her norm back then: locked in her room. She’d only been twelve… before the bees, even. 

[color=d1b300]“Unless the Temple kept that close an eye on us ten years ago. I came here a few times, when I could. Like after-”[/color] He died. When she was recovering from a wound not fully healed, and couldn’t contribute enough. To cover up the pause, she leaned out of his arms to grab a sugar covered donut - like she’d just wanted food, rather than thinking about something awful again. Something lingering. A big bite was taken out of it before she continued.
[color=d1b300]“The days when things were a lot.”[/color]

Casey frowned slightly, looking away into the forest, then up to the sky before answering.
[color=577d06]”Most other Covens wouldn’t go crazy over old grudges. They’d be quicker to take things up with us as a group. But some? Like the fucker that went for us on Misty? That coven is liable to do anything. Burn your family home, go and slaughter any Vanburen they can get their hands on just to hurt you. Even if it doesn’t, they’ll just do it for fun… [i]Actual evil.[/i]”[/color]

It was true. Even the remnants of Sonnenrad that weren’t curtailed beneath some wider umbrella would probably love to make the effort just to kill some rich people. Casey’s greatest hope was that the dissolution of the Temple and the resignation of contested territories would see them make it out grudge free. It was more like a pipe dream. There were grudges based purely on whose balls he was squirted from. Wizards loved to hold grudges.

Thankfully she grabbed a donut, because he was waiting to break into them. He didn’t just lean in to get one either. Mouth opening wide, he crammed the first one in and took massive gnawing bites from it until it was all gone. Then he took a normal bite from the next one.

[color=577d06]”Mom’s well aware… Probably. So either she’s truly evil, and she’s letting us walk into a slaughter from some random jabroni out of spite, or she doesn’t see anything too wrong coming.”[/color]

[color=d1b300]“[i]Great[/i]. Good to know that we’re about to die, and Lynette’s been watching either way.”[/color] Trisha’s voice went a bit flat, her body a bit tense. She forced herself to take another few bites of her donut. Appetite gone, just like that. She was trying to not react too much to what Casey said. He was trying to be helpful… probably. 

Was it the right thing to say? No. Did it feel like he completely ignored half of what she said? Maybe. He hadn’t really, had he? She was just being sensitive. It was the things she’d left unsaid, half expecting him to notice anyway. 

[color=d1b300]“They’ll want to get rid of Ezra too if they destroy anything on the property- because he [i]will[/i] find and sue them.”[/color] She tried to redirect herself with that dry, dark suggestion. A few more bites finished off the donut, letting her drop her head onto the knees she’d draw up closer to her body. 

[color=d1b300]“I guess this place saw some of my worst moments too, so it’d fit. And if not… If your mother’s just been ‘benevolently watching’... Well, it gets a nice send off.”[/color]

Casey shook his head at the comment. It was rapid, rather than a slow and displeased stare. He didn’t want her to think that they weren’t alone now.

[color=577d06]”Oh, I mean… Not actively. Remember, anywhere I go, I can turn it all off. We’re safe from that old prodding bullshit. Have been since she decided to let me read the books. Just, y’know… Her thing’s seeing the future. Scary accurate. She usually knows what’s coming and what’s going to come after that…”[/color] he tried to explain, acutely aware of Trisha’s almost certain non-desire to talk about his mother or her bullshit.

[color=577d06]”But, either way, your secret spot is safe. As long as we don’t uh… Well, let's just not keep bees back here. Not [i]your[/i] bees, anyway. And like I said, your sanctuary is important to me. As far as I’m concerned, this little patch of land; this clearing, the tree we’re next to, it’s all a part of you. Something that needs to be protected.”[/color] 

[color=d1b300]“But it’s not secret anymore, is it?”[/color] Trisha mumbled into her knees, before frowning. There was a bubbling frustration at herself. [i]She’d[/i] brought up the Temple, and suggested they knew about it. Casey had just answered what she’d said. It wasn’t his fault Lynette could see the future, and thus would know about it. It wasn’t as creepy as active watching, but Trisha still didn’t like it. It was still intrusive. 

Here Casey was talking about protecting some trees that were special to her, and she was struggling to not get upset about someone else- outside of the two of them- knowing about it. 
[color=d1b300][i]Great way to show your appreciation.[/i][/color]

[color=d1b300]“Sorry. I know it’s not your fault that she knows. It’s not like it’s even a really hidden place…”[/color] Though she didn’t really unfurl, her whole body tilted towards Casey and leant on him.
[color=d1b300]“I was thinking about the Snake, before the talk of slaughter and Lynette watching. So it just made me a bit touchy.”[/color]

Casey nodded in understanding acceptance, arm wrapping around her to tenderly rub. He often wondered how comforting physical touch actually was to her. Sure, she cuddled him twenty-four seven, but that only really served to further his suspicion. The true constance of it made him feel like it was less real, and more like it was just a coping mechanism for feeling otherwise undesirable. 

Regardless of his suspicions, he refused to take any chances. Kissing the top of her head, Casey took a short breath.
[color=577d06]”It’s my fault again… Being paranoid. If I could turn it off, I guess I wouldn’t wind up scaring you with it all the time. I’m sorry, Trisha. I don’t know if it makes you feel any better, but if she [i]has[/i] seen this place, it’s gone with her. It goes back to being quiet.”[/color]

Trisha slowly nodded her head. It was a bit difficult to just say yes immediately… Because then she was saying that she was glad his mom was going to die, so her place could be just hers again. For all of Lynette’s many flaws… She was still Casey’s mom. Trisha wasn’t callous enough to outright say she was glad about it. 

[color=d1b300]“I’d rather know and be scared than be unaware, so it’s fine. I [i]do[/i] like it quiet but… I don’t really need it as much now. I have you.”[/color] Her limbs unfurled slightly, but she stayed pressed against him. A hand gripped his shirt. Her head turned away from pressing against his chest to look at the fallen tree trunk beside them. Then the rest of the area. 

[color=d1b300]“I stopped coming here as often after I moved out. The last time was… After my last breakup. It was more when I was a teen. A place without the noise of my siblings, or the coven during that summer. No pressure or blame…”[/color] She turned to look back up at him, managing a slight smile. 
[color=d1b300]“You probably get the point… there’s just a lot of memories here. It’s like with my mom… something I’m choosing to share with you, but struggle with other people knowing. Even someone who’ll be… gone soon.”[/color]

Of course she’d rather Lynette be gone. He felt the same mostly. In the same way one would feel guilt at an old animal’s sickness, he felt that pang regarding his Mother. The depth of sorrow, that it would take her death to bring comfort to those beneath her… He hoped that it would at least be some kind of solution, because knowing that she’d be gone and the possibility of all that pain lingering in their lives would utterly nullify the sacrifice. If there was a thought he really couldn’t handle, [i]that[/i] was it. 

[color=577d06]”You understand it’s because of that, that I’m willing to protect this place with my life, right? There’s nothing more important to me than protecting and preserving what makes us happy. Whatever your reasoning, that's simply how it is. I want places and things that we can have, to share with our children. Completely recontextualize the dynamic, y’know? T-that’s… One thing I learned from the Navy Shrink I saw, at least that stuck! Probably because the first place I had to do it was so difficult.”[/color]

The first time he went back to St. Portwell for a month, he didn’t sleep a wink. At that point, the Cats were still in sanctuary on the Temple’s grounds, but he couldn’t forget the things he’d seen there. Couldn’t stop himself from imagining the crawling darkness sliding into his room. From hurting him without care or recourse. He was a child again… So, when he made it back to base and went into the doctor, it was the first thing he wanted to deal with. 

It got a lot harder when Leon brought them back there… But they were all grown now. The residents made a pact, and it kept him placated enough that his usual steps were enough to bring him back to some small amount of rest.

She had him now… And in that moment, he smiled realizing that he had her too. His anxiety levels were at an all time low, even in the most stressful Temple meetings where he wanted to blow his stack; thinking about how nice it would be to eventually slide into place on the couch and feel her curl up next to him made it so much more manageable. It was something to look forward to.

[color=577d06]”But… I have [i]you[/i] too. Where you are is the most special place on the planet to me. I just… I dream of giving the future something too. A beautiful story, and if we can take them there to see where it happened? All the better.”[/color] he finished, voice more airy and dreamy than it had ever been.

Trisha twisted around in his lap so that she could fully face him, her legs unfurling to loosely wrap around his torso. She looked up at him with a soft smile. 
[color=d1b300]“You don't want to give them me? Gonna keep me all to yourself?"[/color] She teased, knowing that wasn't the point. 

It was a nice thought. This place being something they could share with their children in the future, among others. A place they could share between them too. Somewhere that meant something… and that perhaps she'd grown past the need for, but was still an important part of her. She'd never had places like that as a child… Places that her parents took her to that meant anything to them, or taught her about them. She'd like to give that to her own. 

Even if she didn't entirely understand what Casey meant by recontextualising. Viewing the place differently? As having a different purpose, rather than escape? She could ask but… then she'd look a bit stupid, wouldn't she? It was fine. 

[color=d1b300]“I understand… I want to do that too. I was never really given anything by my parents. Well, money- but nothing sentimental. No stories. I want to give ours something like that… like you said, a beautiful story."[/color] Trisha didn't quite have the same dreamy tone as Casey did, but she was caught up in his easily. 

Her gaze, and words, turned a bit more serious after. 
[color=d1b300]“[I]You're[/I] my safe place now. There's no future without you- us. So you [I]can't[/I] protect it with your life. I don't want to lose you over anything that isn't [I]me[/I]."[/color] Her gaze dropped down as she realised what she said. How selfish it sounded.
[color=d1b300]“I mean… don't use your life protecting important places when every place we go and will go together will become special to me."[/color]

How could Casey really argue with that? Simple acceptance: He smiled, looking down at her with a tender grin, then pulled her into his arms, and rubbed his face in her hair.

[color=577d06]”I love you… That’s all I can really say to that. Thank you for letting me into your life.”[/color] he said, planting a kiss on her head before really leaning back against the tree and resting his head. Having her in that position was supremely relaxing. Like being somewhere that was entirely safe.

[color=577d06]”Let’s just make a new tree here. Or, like, a mossy growth, just the two of us buried in the roots…”[/color]

Trisha laughed, resting her head on his shoulder. 
[color=d1b300]”Mmm, but your back will get sore long before the moss grows over us. Unless you can magically make it grow faster…"[/color]

With another giggle, she nuzzled his face against his neck. She'd never thought the idea of just becoming a tree, or buried beside it, would be so appealing… but with Casey? It was. Just to be with him forever was all she wanted. Growing old together, or turning into trees together… With another giggle, she pulled her face back a bit so her words weren't muffled by his skin. 
[color=d1b300]“Would I still be attractive as a tree? All I'd have going for me then is my looks, since there'd be no witty conversation."[/color]

[color=577d06]”Oh, Babe… Trees are some of the best conversationalists. How often do you get to talk to someone who has zero preconceptions, zero inclination toward judgement, and zero concern for any particular attitude? Not to mention? You’d have an amazing figure, wouldn’t you?”[/color] he grinned, wagging his eyebrows up and down.

He’d spent enough time with trees that they were the only things that seemed worth talking to at one point. Long before the magic and the military, the neighborhood was a little different. There was a patch of woodland out behind the Cannery still standing then, and no matter how small it was, Casey always felt a little bit safer there. He remembered when the land got sold, and how pissed off Lynette had gotten over it.
Now that land was Temple owned too, after she scrubbed the previous owners off the property… It was a garden. Not the natural forest that had been, but a manicured garden, with topiaries and shit that wasn’t natural.

She’d lost the plot, quite literally. Killed a special place of his in return. For a moment, he wondered if Lynette knew.

[color=577d06]”You’d be the best tree, hands down. I’d build a magnificent house in your branches, using all the surrounding forest, so your branches would get all the sunlight in the field.”[/color] he continued to joke with her, hoping that she’d just eat up the compliments.

Trisha grinned, puffing up her chest a little bit.
[color=d1b300]“I would be, wouldn't I? And I'd finally be tall! I wouldn't have to worry about seeing over people's heads anymore…"[/color] She shook her head, laughing. It was a bit of a ridiculous thing to imagine… But feasible magically. There were plenty of Red-Green adepts in Sycamore that turned into all sorts of things. Another thing she'd been jealous of at the time. 

[color=d1b300]“We wouldn't have to worry about a hive for the bees either. They can make a nice big one off… my branches. Though I wouldn't really have bees anymore, would I?"[/color] 

Not that it'd matter. She'd be a tree… it'd be nice if she could just turn into something like that when she wanted. Like those Red-Green adepts… 
[color=d1b300]“If you could have any kind of Lux, what would you want?"[/color] She asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

Casey grinned and smiled.
[color=577d06]”Oh, this was a topic that got thrown around the barracks plenty! Do you mean, separate from the Lux that I have now as a prerequisite? I only ask because uh, well, one of the Lances who you didn’t meet up North called a few of us uh… [i]Quills?[/i] It was an acronym, supposed to be [i]comfortable with Lux?[/i] I guess essentially I’m in a situation where I can’t imagine being anything other than an Orange adept. Everything I’ve worked for, everything I’ve done with it, makes me biased and partial. So, to say I already have the kind of Lux I would want is a loaded answer.”[/color]

Taking a pause, he looked thoughtful.

[color=577d06]”But they also forced me to pick, so I said Blue… Because I’ve always been fascinated by what Andrade can do. If I could learn shit like that? Orange and Blue together would be a dream come true.”[/color] he shrugged.
[color=577d06]”And you? Would you choose anything else besides the Queen?”[/color]

[color=d1b300]“I wouldn't, because I love my bees too much. But I think about it sometimes."[/color] Trisha shrugged one shoulder. Orange and Blue… the one person she'd known with that combination had done very little with it. Because it was ‘limited.’ She was sure that Casey could do much more with it, if he'd had it. It was a bit of a terrifying combination… Blue Lux in general was. 

[color=d1b300]“If I was an Adept, I'd want both Green and Red. Pretty boring, right? But it seems so limitless… I could turn into anything I wanted, and heal myself. I'd have been more useful against the Snake too. But with it I could be whoever or whatever I wanted to be, y’know?"[/color] Perhaps it was an insight into her psyche that she wanted magic that would let her shift herself almost limitlessly. Both natural and not…

[color=d1b300]“I was always a bit jealous of the adepts. Some of them were so weak but… they could learn anything they wanted, in a way. Whatever reflected [I]them[/I]. My magic doesn't reflect me. Or, didn't. I think I changed a bit to reflect it."[/color]

Casey gave her a comforting stroke against her back. He wished there’d been some extra insight that maybe she had shaped the magic to reflect her… That she seemed to feel so wretched about herself no matter the scenario made him feel a bit weepy. Certainly empathetic to her self confidence issues at least. Most importantly, however, it was another moment he could remain conscious of and return to later on as a piece of the overall puzzle that was Trisha Vanburen.

[color=577d06]”Hey, who knows!? Maybe you’ve done a lot more to change the Queen’s abilities to reflect you than you think.”[/color] he smiled, hugging a little tighter.

[color=d1b300]“Yeah, she was probably less sleepy before she adjoined to me,"[/color] Trisha lightly joked. She wouldn't know… the Queen had spent so much time asleep. It was hard for her to know if she'd changed at all to reflect Trisha. It was hard to believe, too. The Queen was nothing like her, then and now. And the magic hadn't really changed… just her bond with the bees.

[color=d1b300]“Maybe if I make bees the other way they'll all come out mini mes. We'll know if they all start fawning over you…"[/color] She curled her head back in against his neck. Hopefully not… then she'd have erratic, anxious bees. Some of her oldest were already like that. Her old ladies. 

[color=d1b300]“I do like the magic I have now, even if I haven't changed it. There's always that what if but… It could've been a lot worse."[/color] She'd adjoined with a benevolent spirit, at least. 
[color=d1b300]“It was just when I was a teen, and all these other teens were shooting fireballs, bees seemed so lame!"[/color]

Casey nodded emphatically. He knew all about feeling left out in the middle of magic.

[color=577d06]”I did used to dream that I’d meet uh… Like, God? Basically? Like I’d be the one who got to know some supremely powerful world-level Apparition with mind bending powers, and because I was a good boy and I was doing everything that people told me to do, it’d see that I was worthy. And then, y’know, it’d adjoin to me. Mostly because I never thought I’d wind up with any kind of magic.”[/color] he admitted, revealing what had been a long term [i]fantasy[/i] if it could be called that.

It wasn’t a wish so much now; and his reaction to Leon giving up his own Lux to house Lelou probably would’ve shocked Trisha if they’d known each other then. But, now it was a more even-keeled respect for Adjoined, and Abberations in general. [i]Trying[/i] at least. That strange sense of supremacy, the pride he carried over what was essentially luck of the draw. He felt he earned every bit of power he had, hardly recognizing the system surrounding it in the first place. That his blood and the will of people hundreds of years before him made sure that he [i]would[/i] kindle.

[color=577d06]”I think the Queen’s great. Most Apparitions are great for one reason or another. Even shitty ones. D’you remember any of the others from Sycamore?”[/color] he asked casually.

[color=d1b300]“Of course… I remember most people, even if we're on bad terms now. I fought Lila just a couple of weeks ago."[/color] Trisha replied easily, not thinking much of it. 

There was no judgement from her about his dream either, even if she didn't comment on it. She understood… if she was brought up in a magical family- cult- and didn't have it, she'd have dreams like that too. 

[color=d1b300]“A lot were adjoined because of Britney. Like Emily… she was- is- a bitch, but her Apparition was worse, somehow. Luca and Olivia too. I don't really remember what Olivia's apparition was like, except she hated it, but Luca's…"[/color] Trisha grimaced. She had sympathy for him. He was one of the few that probably didn't outright hate her, too. 
[color=d1b300]“I don't think you could call anything about that one great. It was powerful but… I couldn't handle something like that. Not being able to touch anything."[/color] 


Casey nodded along, cross referencing the names with the last known info. Emily G. Reed was a constant thorn in St. Portwell’s magical paw since before she could vote. He’d always been curious as to whether or not it was her, or Babylon’s fault. And as for poor Luca Oliviera, well… Sure. It was hard to imagine that thing as anything but destructive. But, in the context of the thing’s form and function? 

[color=577d06]”It’s a great burden, for sure.”[/color] he replied softly, considering the human behind the ghost.
[color=577d06]”I… Can definitely agree it’s not one I’d want to be attached to. But, it’s pretty great at what it does all things considered. Like, y’know, if Luca wasn’t as nice a guy as I hear he is? St. Portwell would be in big trouble.”[/color]

Casey thought about what he knew of the individual. Leon never had a bad word to say. Former Eight Street member, and a previous Emily lackey. Guy never seemed to fit the bill of where the intel placed him. Now things were hard south with the Sycamore reunion, so things were only further up in the air.

[color=577d06]”Y’think that dude’s gonna have any worries about getting killed by Father Wolf? I bet not. Because the Rot’s a great deterrent too: Like the birds keep eating the seeds, so the tree makes arsenic and kills the birds that eat the seeds.” Fucking dumb metaphor, Casey…[/color]

Trisha didn't really need the metaphor to understand, but she held back the little laugh on the tip of her tongue over it. 

[color=d1b300]“There’s no way Father Wolf can get him. The knife would rust away. Like… You know the Apparition Killer? The powerful artifact we used to seal the Snake?"[/color] Trisha assumed Casey would. She assumed he'd probably know even if he didn't have access to all the information he did now… Unless Leon hadn't talked about it at all. 

[color=d1b300]“They tried to use it to get the Rot out of him right after the Snake was sealed… but the tip of the blade started rotting."[/color] It had been pretty terrifying at the time… Realising just how powerful the thing inside him was. 
[color=d1b300]“He’s one of the few people from Sycamore who probably wouldn't say some nasty shit or try to punch me."[/color]

Lips curled slightly, Casey took another long and slow nod as he considered what that meant for the artifact. Just the tip? And it didn’t actually work? There weren’t any mentions of that little incident in the record, and as far as they were concerned as an entity, the sword was totally intact. Regardless, her praise of the guy was definitely doing what it was meant to. He felt happy to hear that there was at least one single Sycamore member who didn’t hate her.

[color=577d06]”So we’re definitely better off visiting him than visiting Lila again? I hear they’ve been shacked up recently, with a few other Sycamites.”[/color] he mentioned, wondering if she’d have any insight to what was going on.

[color=d1b300]“Assuming we don't get within a metre of him,"[/color] Trisha nodded. Not that she expected to be visiting him or any other Sycamites anytime soon… what would even be the reason for that?
[color=d1b300]“Yeah, Lila said before… Her birds started eating my bees. Her, Luca, Jasper and… Lynn."[/color]

Trisha frowned just saying that name, hiding it by turning her face into Casey's shoulder. She was the reason Lila and Trisha had started shouting at each other in the first place… Evelynn, cursed to be a bitch. All those futures she'd seen for Trisha and gleefully told her about… Reinforcing what she knew was true. That she was worthless and would die alone. 

[color=d1b300]“If they're all living together, visiting him would be the same as visiting Lila anyway? You're not about to start dragging me to the homes of the few Sycamore members that don't hate me, are you?"[/color] Her voice was a bit… flat, even as she tried to joke again. Thinking about those futures…

Shaking his head, Casey leaned forward slightly with her still in his arms. Grabbing a biscuit from the bag before leaning back, he already had it in his mouth and was chewing on a piece.

[color=577d06]”No… I’ve seen what forcing you to go places gets us. Definitely no need to put you into a situation that we both intend on walking away from as soon as possible, right? We’ll deal with what comes, leave when we can, and make a new world somewhere new. One day, we can come back and show our kids the places we come from. But, for now, [i]we[/i] need emancipation.”[/color] he grinned, smile warmer still thinking about not just his freedom, but Mimi’s too. And Ed, and Hari. And, hopefully, Leon. 

He didn’t know what Elise’s plan was exactly, but if she took over the facade of the Temple in order to step it down, he only hoped she didn’t get a bad taste for power in her mouth. It’d have to be stopped if that wound up being the case. And Junior was an even bigger question, especially with his influence over the Temple’s technological systems. His lifestyle was too attached to Lynette’s power for him to let her go softly.
It wasn’t a question of [i]if[/i] he’d fight. Only how hard.

[color=577d06]”We uh… Can go anywhere. There’s enough money for it between us. The kinds of things my Dad left behind don’t go away just because a cult gets dissolved… And I’m sure you’d be able to take care of us otherwise… [i]Right, Sugar Momma?[/i]”[/color] he joked, stealing a kiss. 

Trisha laughed, face chasing after his to steal a kiss right back. 
[color=d1b300]“Mhm, I get more than enough to look after us for the rest of our lives. It might be a bit tighter if Ezra stops giving me the extra but… pretty sure he does it so he doesn't have to deal with me. He'll probably keep it up till he dies."[/color]

Though Trisha hoped that in a few years she wouldn't need that extra. Her honey business would be going well enough enough to top up what she got monthly from the family trust. Of course, the monthly amount was enough to cover the two of them comfortably… but if they had children? Then it'd be a bit more difficult. 

[color=d1b300]“You have to work for it, though. I'm not just letting you use all my money for nothing…"[/color] She giggled, head listing forward to rub her nose against his. 
[color=d1b300]“I’ll work you very hard."[/color]

She raised her eyebrows, grinning teasingly. She moved forward to kiss him again, drawing it so it was a longer, sweet kiss. As she pulled back her smile was soft and loving again. 

[color=d1b300]“Where do you want to go? I know you said the middle of nowhere before but… where?"[/color]

Casey didn’t have to think about that one.
[color=577d06]”Montana… I mean, anywhere in the empty strip in the middle of the country. There’s plenty of states that have a population density that is [i]shockingly[/i] low. The amount of land we could snap up? Cows, chickens, a whole ranch? I’d love working with the animals, I think. But, we… Did say we didn’t want our kids growing up being backwater hicks, right?”[/color] he asked almost innocently.

[color=d1b300]“Well… We didn't quite say [I]that[/I]."[/color] Trisha smiled. Though it was true, she didn't want her kids to grow up like that. She wanted her kids to be smart like she hadn't been. But then wouldn't she just be like her mother? High expectations that led to feeling like a failure.

[color=d1b300]“I want our kids to have a good education so that they have opportunities. Then they can do whatever they want… even if they want to come back and help out with the animals."[/color] She spoke evenly, pushing through all the conflict she felt around their children's education. Of course she wanted them to be well educated, and high achievers. But she didn't want them to end up like her… She didn't want to become her own mother. 

But what if she did? 
[color=d1b300]“You said we could homeschool them, didn't you? I… don't know, you were homeschooled, weren't you? Do you really think we could and they'd turn out alright? Then we could give them all those opportunities and you can have your ranch."[/color]

[color=577d06]”That would certainly be the ultimate dream, Babe. Teach them to be weary, not paranoid. And what you need in life… But keep them from losing touch completely. We’d have to be around others in some capacity…”[/color]

Scrunching his nose, Casey was thinking about what a life would’ve been like if he’d not been part of more than just one family. He was tribally raised, practically. That sense of community was one of the things that he felt most nostalgic over in the first place. He was a soldier for more than half a decade; he couldn’t just leave the pack mentality behind.

[color=577d06]”We should find others. Like, y’know, maybe the Girls will go with us? Fresh and clean, no responsibilities besides what they do for themselves. No pressure. I’d only worry they’d waste away in the house.”[/color] he giggled, thinking about losing out on their warmth and love were something ever to happen to them. 

[color=577d06]”I know Lee would build a house in the hills: We went skiing up there once as kids? Promised each other we’d build log cabins next to one another. I was maybe six?”[/color] he smiled.

Trisha nodded slowly, but was thoughtfully silent. What did she actually want? To just be with him and eventually their kids, or around other people? She'd always assumed she'd live in a city… but she'd never had a constant group like that. A community. There was a small hope it would be her family… but that was never possible. Then she'd hoped the coven would be that. Of course it hadn't been. After then she'd given up. 

Just finding a partner who'd stick around was difficult enough. 

What if there were issues between her and the other people they surrounded themselves with? Who would Casey choose? Would it really be her?

She liked the girls. There hadn't been any issues since Casey's commencement ceremony with Mia. But it could happen again… 

Then there was Leon. It was a bit easier now that he was with Cass, adding an extra person to be in between them. But she knew they'd keep clashing. They just didn't get on. Trisha wasn't sure if she could handle living right next to each other. There was no guarantee he'd still be with Cass then… 

[color=d1b300]“You want to build us log cabins? Will they have internet? Not sure I can live without it…"[/color] After a long time of thinking, her first words were probably underwhelming. It was easier to not mention Leon. Pretend he hadn't been brought up. Then they didn't have to talk about it, right? 

[color=d1b300]“If the girls wanted to come with us… I'd be alright with that. Though my slice of the Vanburen empire isn't enough to fund [I]five[/I] people. Maybe it won't be an issue if we're able to be mostly self-sufficient… but I want electricity and wi-fi and all those luxuries."[/color] Trisha continued, giving a bit more of a response. 
[color=d1b300]“I’ve never really lived near people like that, I'm not sure how I'll do with it."[/color]

Casey shrugged and nodded his head.
[color=577d06]”These are the kinds of things we actually use magic for, right? I’d like to be as unplugged as possible, meaning I’m not interested in a location where those sorts of things are available easily by normal means. If we can compromise with a magical solution, then I think we have a unique opportunity as a couple to have both of our desires met.”[/color]

And a fucking hot shower. He already imagined building little bivouacs across the property where one could squat for a few hours, or even a few weeks outside the main homestead. Unique places too, and dreamed of doing it as a family. They weren’t going to be simple structures…
[color=577d06]”Jesus, y’know the more I think about it, the more I start to think I’m a crazy person.”[/color] he laughed.

[color=577d06]”Here I am imagining treehouses and dugout bunkers with running water, and you’d be happy as a clam so long as you knew I’d be home for snuggles… Look at me, trying to get away without even realizing.”[/color]

Contradictory to his words, he squeezed her tighter.

[color=577d06]”You’re gonna have to get used to being dirty with your computer. I’ll make sure the entire strip of land has a wifi signal if you don’t mind sitting on a stump with your stuff while I dig a hole in an interesting place.”[/color] he nudged, knowing that she’d probably feel anxious until he made some sort of clarification. It was a necessity with her, after all.

Like Casey guessed, the moment he mentioned trying to get away the worries started to creep in. Away from her? If he was already thinking about it now, wouldn't it be worse in the future? Even if he wanted to come home or to her… or was it an assumption that she wouldn't want to get dirty? It was nicer to think that, based on how he clarified. 

Still hard when the thought was put into her head. 
[color=d1b300]“Well, depends how dirty? Not sure my computer will keep working if I'm trying to use it knee deep in mud."[/color] She managed to reply calmly, trying not to tense up a bit. She trusted him, didn't she? But she didn't trust herself… 

[color=d1b300]“I don't mind a bit of dirt, Babe. I mean-"[/color] She gestured to the area around them. The little clearing surrounded by trees, intermixed grass and stick covered dirt for the ground. 
[color=d1b300]“- I didn't bother bringing a picnic blanket most of the time. That's a special date thing."[/color]

She let out a long breath, curling in towards him. 
[color=d1b300]“You’d really want me with you while you're digging your hole? I wouldn't be distracting you?"[/color] Of course, she couldn't quite resist the little questions pushed by her anxieties? 
[color=d1b300]“What about when I'm pregnant and can't walk that far?"[/color]

Casey giggled.
[color=577d06]”Babe, if you can handle being wherever the Hell I wind up, then I’m gonna welcome your company every time. But, someday? When you know that I’m not going anywhere, and you find yourself looking at a particular hill asking yourself why you married me? You’ll feel okay calling me a loser and leaving my ass wherever I am until I crawl back home like an outdoor cat.”[/color] he explained, brushing her chin with his thumb in a gentle way.

He wanted her to think about it, but even now he was attempting a subtle recontextualizing. He wouldn’t be leaving her, of course: She’d know that one day. And she’d be willing, then, after so many years of consistency, to have a moment of space to herself. At least, he hoped that projecting something like that would convince her. He could never know for sure, but this was all he had right now.

[color=577d06]”But, if you’re really insistent? Like, can’t compromise, you must be right there? Fuck it; I’ll strap you up. Show you how we used to haul bodies long distances when they were injured.”[/color] he gave her a flat look, starting to mess with her a little bit until she made some kind of concerned eye contact.


[color=577d06]”You’re my wife at that point, Trisha! I’ll make it as comfortable and easy for you as possible, I mean shit, again, we’ve got magic. I can pack a fucking tent into a pill the size of a dime. You go where I go… I swear to God and all in its witness, you will not ever be forced to be alone. Ever.”[/color] he was staring into her eyes now, expression finally becoming stern and serious as he realized his joking wasn’t going over very well.

Trisha stared back. Just in case that seriousness wavered… but it didn't. He really meant it. She knew that she was overreacting, when he was constantly telling her that he'd always be there. Showing it too. It was just so hard. Thinking about the future always brought her anxieties back up… Because what if the future they dreamed of didn't happen? 

But he was serious about it. He really wanted to be with her and he was talking about a future with her. They were engaged… They talked about kids and marriage like it happened. Each time she felt a little bit more confident about it. Bit by bit, eventually she might really accept that he wasn't going anywhere. She wouldn't need to be so close so frequently. It was hard to imagine. Really hard. But she did want to get there…

She nodded.
[color=d1b300]“Thank you, Casey… for always trying to comfort me and not getting upset about it. Especially when it's about a hypothetical future…"[/color] She smiled slightly, genuine gratefulness in her eyes. 
[color=d1b300]“I do want to get to the point where I'm not so anxious. I might never get there… and I might, then I might be hit by all the insane pregnancy hormones. But I [I]know[/I] that you'll still be with me through it, even if I struggle to accept it."[/color]

She smiled more, moving her head forward so their foreheads pressed against each other. 
[color=d1b300]“We’re talking about the future seriously. You're saying that I'll be your [I]wife[/i]. Obviously, since we're engaged, but normally… that would make me so anxious, because what if I get too hopeful? But with you I think it'll really work. We'll get married and we won't- won't-"[/color] Her voice wavered for a moment, but she pressed through that. Voicing a deep buried anxiety because it felt like the right time. 
[color=d1b300]“Divorce like my parents."[/color]

Casey tucked his head slightly, shaking it. His parents didn’t divorce. Something worse happened. He only [i]wished[/i] they divorced, because at least he’d still be able to talk to his Father without needing some kind of crazy Lux or artifact he didn’t have.
[color=577d06]”Dude, if you’ve got a Baby, I’m… Well, honestly, I’m not sorry to say this to you because I feel like you’ll like it, but uh… I don’t know, a Kid is a real deal-sealer. Like, y’know, if they’re in the picture? We’re not getting divorced.”[/color] he shrugged his shoulders.

[color=577d06]”I’d grit my teeth and bare it if you ever decided to hate me, because once there are kids, we’re just… Here for them, y’know? Our lives are always going to be spent making sure theirs are good. I’ll grind myself down to a little nub before we neglect them by breaking our attention on them to focus on our own petty bullshit. Right?”[/color] he questioned gently, genuinely curious about how she felt.

It was a difficult question for her to answer. It wasn't a future she wanted. Suffering in an unloving relationship for her children. Because how would she stop herself from putting that on them? How would she stop herself from breaking? But wasn't the other option becoming like her parents? Putting all that resentment on the children with no one there. Both options were the same, really… 

But if they were still together there was always a chance of fixing things. She didn't see herself ever stopping loving him. There'd be ups and downs in their relationship, but they could get through it. Hopefully. She [i]did[/i] like that at that point he’d never even think about leaving, even if the thought of a loveless marriage was almost as terrifying as being alone. That wouldn’t happen. 

She just had a different perspective from him. As far as she was aware, his parents had always loved each other. They didn’t seem like [i]good[/i] parents, but they were together. Maybe he thought the problem was that their problems affected their children… Which was true, but… 
[color=d1b300]“They’ll know. You can’t hide problems like that from children, and… if we have problems in the future, we should resolve them with each other even if it takes our attention away from a moment. Because if we don’t it’ll eat us up and then them too. I can’t pretend like that. My- my mum’s unresolved issues with my dad ruined my childhood. She didn’t always neglect me because of it, but I always knew. Whether she talked about it or not.”[/color]

It was a lot for her to talk about. It was difficult to force herself to be honest about it, rather than just agreeing with him. But it was something she had to be honest about. She owed it to him, right? And to their future children. 

[color=d1b300]“I don’t think I’ll ever hate you.. And I don’t want to ever divorce- or break up. Kids is also a deal-sealer for me but… Well, because I don’t want to know them until I [i]know[/i] we’ll always love each other. I need to not be anxious about it, because otherwise I’ll- I’ll-”[/color] She bit her lip, before forcing through it again.
[color=d1b300]“End up putting it on them. Maybe I’ll be like my mom, maybe I’ll end up more like yours. I [i]won’t[/i] be a good mother because I’m not a good person like you are. I can’t just put my issues aside. They’d become my everything- and not in a healthy way.”[/color]

It was a problem they both shared. The idea that they’d grow to resemble the people who raised them far too much. But he’d been on this same track a few days prior. He’d dealt with assuming he’d instantly morph into some sex crazed monster after getting it for the first time. Maybe if things were frictionless? It wasn’t; nothing in life was frictionless. There was always some kind of force resisting one’s motion, begging to be ground down in equal measure of force. Grind, grind, grind.

[color=577d06]”You’re already [i]so[/i] aware of it; you’re bound to overcorrect the wrong way. They’re not, like, pets or something… There’s a physical predisposition one has toward their offspring. It’s chemical, like your bees! Some people don’t have it flat out, but you’ll [i]know[/i] if you feel that. And then, if that even ever happened [i]which I doubt[/i]... We’d go and see someone! We’d talk to a counselor, and we’d seek out people from the real world to talk to about this. No way in Hell do I think you’d go to some Pink Luxer to have them plant a false sense of motherhood in your head… [i]Would you?[/i] I… Guess we should spend more time establishing the boundaries of magic within our life as a couple some day soon.”[/color] he started to peter off as he questioned their overall position. 

Trisha didn’t think their boundaries about magic were all that important right now. Maybe because they had different visions- she imagined a life where magic was part of it, but not everything. Mostly mundane, used for things like internet and electricity maybe… 

But she wasn’t worried about it [i]right now[/i]. 
[color=d1b300]“We can talk about it after thanksgiving. I don’t think we’ll have many disagreements about it.”[/color] She spoke quietly, to actually acknowledge it in between her own thoughts. Not just dismissing it because… It was talking about it for [i]their[/i] life, not just hers or his. 

[color=d1b300]“But I’d never let a Pink Luxer in my head like that- not just like that. Never. I’ve only let them in once, when our memories of the Snake’s sealing were erased. My mind’s my own, and I couldn’t live with myself if I did something like that. But, Casey-”[/color] Her voice broke for a moment, those feelings crashing back into her. Because what he’d said hadn’t really soothed her worries… 

[color=d1b300]“I’m not really worried that I’ll neglect our children. I’m worried that I’ll smother them. Because- I’ve always wanted kids. Since I could remember… I wanted to make that family I never had! But- but more than that, I wanted there to be people who [i]had to love me[/i].”[/color] It was only because of Casey she’d even started thinking about it. Thinking seriously about having children, reflecting on it. Starting to figure out her own issues. 

[color=d1b300]“Because it's so hard for children to stop loving their mother, right? We both know that.”[/color]

The inescapable attachment of family, and the similarly perceived situation that, if nothing else, they’d be there to love her. How hard it was to not love his Mother indeed. Still, it was fairly surprising that she was so forthcoming when it came to this topic. He could only presume she was doing her best to hold up her end of the bargain. The same honesty he afforded her, she was actually giving him fully in this place.

She was herself here. He only wanted to validate and encourage that, and locked in at that moment. Not physically, but in a grand mental effort of amorphous White Lux dancing about his presence, he found a memory. A memory of a comrade, whose shining face was always the one to bring others forward in the darkest days. A feeling of being inspired, in spite of every little hardship they’d been through before that moment, that plucky bastard’s chiclet smile seemed to stay that same shade of dull white. 

Casey’s face twisted, not without some direction but almost as a natural mimicry to the image in his head. A smile that said everything was okay. That everything would [i]be[/i] okay… Because he was there. They were there [i]together[/i]. And he beamed down at Trisha.

[color=577d06]”I believe in you. I believe that if you perceive a problem, you’d ask my opinion. And I believe you’d trust my judgement. And I trust my judgement… Because that’s my job, to make judgement calls. It has been for a long time. And if ever you didn’t trust my judgement, I [i]still[/i] believe in you, and that you’d make the right judgement call in the end no matter what.”[/color]

He nodded at her, kissing the top of her head.
[color=577d06]”But belief is faith. And if seeing is believing, that means you’re just going to need to wait and see for yourself, right? But, you’re gonna take that journey with me? It’s a long haul; you know that.”[/color] 

He made it sound so simple. But that in itself was comforting for her. He was [i]so[/i] confident about it. That he’d be there to make those calls when she didn’t know how to. That was part of her worry, ultimately: that they’d split, revert, and cling to any children they had. But that wouldn’t happen. It wouldn’t.

He wouldn’t leave her. If she said it enough times, she’d be able to believe it even in her worst moments. 

[color=d1b300]“That’s a silly question- of course I will. I’m- I’m in it until the day we die. I really do trust you.”[/color] She smiled, even though her eyes were watery. Not quite crying. Close, but not quite. Emotional for sure. 
[color=d1b300]“I’m only thinking about these things- [i]really[/i] thinking about them- because of you. I want to marry, have children and then grow old together… You make me feel loved enough that I want that future for the right reasons. And I want to get better for it…”[/color]

She trailed off, letting the silence linger for a moment as she cuddled into him. She really did feel safe and comfortable with him- and here. It was like two safe places combined were enough for her to actually be honest about such difficult things. It helped her push through and really try like she’d promised him she would. Now he knew how she felt… and she knew how he did too. That he’d be there.