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	Muttering to himself might have made him look insane to anyone that was around but it helped him in many ways — self regulating emotions, vocally hearing himself, being able to think over everything, and allowing him to process the situation. It was a trick that his dad taught him. He should have been more social with the girl, she approached him, and he clammed up. ‘[color=8A9A5B][i]You could have been better at interacting with her…[/i][/color]’ he muttered to himself with an unpleasantness that reflected someone not getting into the top three at a sporting event. 

That was when he got to the edge of the property that he accidentally chose and his eyes raised to look at the building. It was morphing into something as he stood there and he watched with a confused wonder. If he was nine years old, this would be amazing, but he found something in him that didn’t allow him to be excited — a hotness flooded his face and he could feel the salty tears rolling down his cheeks. ‘[color=8A9A5B][i]Fuck me…[/i][/color]’ he let out the words with a strange breath as he was trying to regulate his emotions. 

Anatoliy used the back of his sleeve to press it into his eyes to dry his tears. Trying his best to not rub at his face and rash out his cheeks. He decided to proceed forward, he pushed himself to continue forward to his cabin as it settled, and it was an impressive cabin. It was hard to truly cherish it at this moment. He felt guilty about that. Yet, he had never seen one like it and it was something from his dreams. ‘[color=white]Are you okay?[/color]’ the little squeaking of Ip could be heard as he popped his head out of Anatoliy’s pocket. 

The man glanced down to the little rodent and wailfully smiled, ‘[color=8A9A5B]Yeah…[/color]’ he let out a shaky breath. ‘[color=8A9A5B]I’m fine. This is just a lot to take in,[/color]” he was trying to downplay his emotions, the experience that he was having, and attempting to lessen the burden being spread to anyone else. No one needed to hear about his problems and Ip wouldn’t understand — he was a vole. Human-things didn’t make sense to him. And this whole situation was overwhelming for him, he had been emotionally and mentally conflicted since his mother appeared to him, and it was just catching up with him now. 

‘[color=8A9A5B]Did you want to stay outside or would you like to come inside?[/color]” Anatoliy asked while he began to ascend the steps. 

‘[color=white]I do not know,[/color]’ Ip responded while poking his head out of Anatoliy’s pocket. 

This allowed Anatoliy to continue up the stairs until he got to the first platform and he stood there taking it in. ‘[color=8A9A5B]That’s so cool,[/color]’ he smiled with some excitement. The first platform had a hanging swing bed. It looked comfortable but it was cold out. Plus, he wanted to take a warm shower, get something in his system, take a nap, and try his best to be himself at the party that was happening tonight. The party sounded fun but how everyone seemed to be made him nervous to even attend it. It would be a great ice breaker but how difficult would it be to break the ice with everyone? 

[color=8A9A5B][i]Shower first. Worries later.[/i][/color] 

That was when Anatoliy got to the highest platform and found the door. Opening it. He looked around in shock since this [i]was[/i] something from his dreams. It reminded him of the hunting cabin that his father would take him to every deer and bird season they attended. Tears began to flow down his cheeks and he began to rub at his face to attempt to dry it and that began to cause friction. Stepping into the area and closing the door, he locked it behind him, and he walked into the middle of the room. 

Anatoliy tried his best to hold in his emotions, he gently took Ip out of his pocket, and set him on the floor. ‘[color=8A9A5B]You should be safe to wander. I don’t think anything will happen to you here,[/color]’ he explained while going over to the kitchenette to find what he was looking for. Grabbing a carrot and a small bowl to fill with water. He put them down on the ground and Ip scurried right over to sniff them out. ‘[color=white]Oh! Thank you, thank you![/color]’ he sounded excited as he started nibbling on the carrot. Anatoliy crouched down to pet him before standing up. 

‘[color=8A9A5B]I am going to go take a shower, I think the shower is in that small area with the firepit over it,[/color]’ he informed his little furry roommate before putting his backpack down and looking around the area a bit more. After he was done searching the area for the most part, Anatoliy headed back outside, and went to check out the small building under the fire and sitting area. 

Going to the building and finding the door, he opened it, and he was right. That was the shower area, and he closed the door behind him and found that there were products, towels, and even clothes in this area which he thought was weird. However, he just watched a cabin form from something in his dreams… he couldn’t be terribly surprised at this point. Could he? 

Anatoliy closed the door behind him and turned the shower on. Flicking it on hot and steam clouded the room instantly from all the cold area that he let in and all the hot coming from the shower head. Stripping off all his clothes and stepping in, his whole body tensed from the temperature difference, ‘[color=8A9A5B]Ahhh~![/color]’ his body jittered from the difference as his hands balled up before his body began to familiarize with the temperature. Setting his forehead against the white concrete brick walls, he closed his eyes, and he let the water pour over his body. It helped so much to stand there and begin to unwind and relax. 

By the time he got back up to the living area of his cabin, he closed the door, locked it, and walked right over to his bed and flopped onto it. Everything was soft and comfortable. Faux fur blankets and heavy fluffed comforters that were wool. He melted into it and rubbed his face into the materials with a slight enjoyment. ‘[color=8A9A5B]This feels so nice,[/color]’ he purred out those words before climbing into bed and under the blankets. Getting comfortable and warm as he pulled the blankets up over his head. Lying on his stomach, his head under the pillows, and wishing he could fall asleep, but his mind kept going to everything else. 

Maybe if he saw that girl at the party later, he would apologize, and try to have a proper conversation with her if she wasn’t too upset with him. 

Would dad want him to come here? Should he have come here? 

Was this going to be school all over again and was he not going to make any friends? Would there be people that finally understood him? That could understand him even a little bit? He would be thankful for that. 

Did he have to attend the party? What if he wasn’t in the mood for it? What if he didn’t want to see all the new faces and force himself to smile? What if he couldn’t force himself to smile tonight? Anatoliy could feel warm tears whelming in his eyes before they started to soak his eyelashes and he stuffed his face into the bedding below him. He could feel how the sheets under him soaked up his tears and he began to cry hard. He didn’t know how long he cried or how hard but he ended up drifting off into sleep. Crashing out. His body needed to decompress from everything that was happening. 
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