She should have expected this, really. What did she think would happen when she turned her camera on? She knew what she looked like, and she knew Quinn wouldn’t react well to seeing her this way. A reflex maybe, to seeing her on the screen—an impulse to make things feel somewhat normal again, whatever it was that counted for that these days. In truth though, a part of her wanted this. Wanted something to validate that last, sane part of her mind she’d shoved down, screaming that what she was doing wasn’t healthy, wasn’t sustainable. Besca was too buried, Roaki couldn’t care less, and Follen…well, she’d found a building distance growing between her and the doctor. 

But here Quinn was, throwing her a rope she knew she needed, to climb out of a hole she’d dug for herself. She was too good, this girl. For RISC, the CSC, for piloting, for [i]Illun[/i], really. But Dahlia say there, and listened, and met Quinn’s budding sternness with small nods and a rueful smile. 

Only the truth, after all. 

“[color=skyblue]I…[/color]” she sighed. “[color=skyblue]Can’t…make that promise. I’m sorry. I know you’re right, I know I’m not handling this well. I want to do better, but I just…can’t make you a promise I might break. I don’t know what’s going to happen in a week, or two weeks, or a month. I don’t know where my head will be, or what I’ll have to do, or…[/color]” Or [i]anything[/i]. God, she didn’t know anything. No pilot did, that was the point. That was the life. Quinn had to understand that by now, had to get that neither of them were guaranteed their next [i]hour[/i] let alone their tomorrows. 

If something happened, it was on them. It was always on them. It was always…

Dahlia rubbed her eyes. She was tired. More than that, she was willing to admit it right now, which was an opportunity she couldn’t afford to waste on being cynical and bitter. Quinn was right, and for as long as her mind wasn’t going to fight her body, she was going to follow her advice. 

“[color=skyblue]I can try,[/color]” she said, smiling apologetically. “[color=skyblue]For now that’s what I can do. I can promise to try. And I’m about to fall over as it is so, I’m gonna go now so I don’t pass out in the shower. Then get some sleep.[/color]”

She turned off her phone’s camera, about sick of seeing herself in this state, and certainly not wanting to show it to Quinn anymore. Instead, she tried to put some of the life back into her voice as she pulled herself off the sim room floor. 

“[color=skyblue]We’ll get those shakes out to you asap, just try to keep them to yourself. Don’t think they’ll win you any friends for their flavor.[/color]” she giggled, it felt genuine even if it was a bit weary. “[color=skyblue]Talk to you again soon, Quinn. See you soon, too. Love you.[/color]”