You would think that being tied up, helpless to aid your rescuer or foil your captor as they dueled for your fate, would be an easy job. As it turns out! Nothing could be further from the truth! Being a captive is a tough job! Demanding! Crushing, even! So, imagine a Where’s Waldo book. Somebody’s opens it to a random page right in front of your face, and you’ve got to find that Waldo and all his gang. You’ve got to. You can’t look at anything that isn’t red-and-white striped. Except the book’s being shaken, and you’re being shaken, and the pages are getting randomly flipped and so you have to start over and over again. Also Waldo might not exist. Doesn’t matter, you still can’t look at not-Waldos. No you can’t close your eyes. That doesn’t work. There’s too many muffled purrs and throaty moans. Can’t be done. Your only hope is to look, look, look, bounce around, never stop not looking, if you keep looking at new things then it’ll drown out the sights your eyes aren’t seeing and you’ll be fine. And, okay, maybe neither of them are going to notice where you’re looking, but somebody might be watching! They’ll know! And you’ll know! So this is a real and admirable job. It’s also only the first job. Because guess what? That’s right! It’s geometry time! Pop quiz: Assume a Nagi Princess that is a snake, and also a girl, of maybe probably comparable size to the average Golden Fawn, from the waist up. How long is her tongue? Don’t forget to show your work and also find Waldo. If you get the answer right, then you can stop thinking about her tongue, and how long, and how wet, and how extraordinarily [i]clever[/i] it is. Work quickly. You’ll need the focus for THE PHYSICAL CHALLENGE That’s right! The art of being captured is a multidisciplinary field! Grip strength. Can you keep holding Princess Suli’s hand? Can you keep holding it when her hand closes around yours? When she squeezes? When she rubs her thumb upppppp and downnnn the back of your hand, in slowwwwww circles, juuuuuuust barely pricking your skin with her long nails? Can you do all that and not die? Oh, sorry, yes, you have to do all that without dying. And then? This golden Nagi here? She’s going to rub. Your. Back. She’ll knead, and squeeze, and knead, and squeeze, and you’ll feel her breath [i]shudder[/i] through her chest. Because that’s where your ears are. And the rest of your face. And most of your head, really. How’s that cardio of yours? Can you breathe normally? Can you breathe Normally? As you’re bounced and swayed and squished between them? As that hand works its way up, finds your hair, and starts teasing the curls by your horns? Just enough to be warmly ticklish. Not enough to get the [i]good[/i] scritches. Close. Very close. Keep breathing. Never not breathing. We’re at the final test. It’s the most important one of all. Constitution. Endurance. Fortitude. For you see, Suli is pinning the rude Nagi with an effortless, glittering, half-lidded gaze as she smothers her with a kiss. They only break eye contact when the golden Nagi’s eyes roll back and flutter closed, and it feels like every muscle in her body goes slack at once. The corner of Suli’s mouth quirks. A slight smile. You’d have to be this close to see it. To glory excessively in this moment would imply that this was anything but inevitable. So she does not. Imagine what it must be like to be the gold Nagi. That’s not a question. You’re imagining what that must be like. It’s mandatory. It’s easy. It’s so easy, when Suli is squeezing your entire body in time to the kiss. She presses in as she deepens, squeezing pulses flowing up and down your body, drawing tight, shaking, shaking, shaking! So that when she mercifully draws back, even for half a breath, she’s gifted you an olympic-sized swimming pool to melt into. Somehow, you have to maintain a physical body under these conditions. Without any cheese and crackers to sustain you. Oh, or cider, some cider would taste so good right about now. Maybe lightly chilled, and someone could help bring the cup to your lips… What’s that? Where’s Waldo? Erm, who’s Waldo? Sounds like a neat guy. Anyway! That is to say! Hazel has been working very hard for a solid minute at one of the most difficult jobs in all of Thellamie. Which isn’t to say that Princess Suli has been working less hard. Rather, she’s not composed, and he’s hardly any better, on account of all the working so hard. Right. So. Yes. He ought to say something, shouldn’t he? Con: He has to say something. Pro: Somebody will be saying something, instead of nobody saying anything. The answer is clear. “Hiii, Suli.” His voice, less so. ********************* [b]Inara![/b] Sorry, this is a bit unusual, but this does seem more like your territory. You’d know what best to say. Better than anyone present, that’s for sure. You see, Princess Sulochana - that is, Suli, she’s going to have to look at him eventually. Especially when he starts talking. No, no, he’s not done talking yet. You know how he can’t help himself. When she does, if you’ve got a minute, could you please let her know that there is a tantalized, tantalizing deerboy gazing up at her? Blushing beneath his makeup, blinking as little as he can, breath coming in such little gasps, and - hrm, does “deer in the headlights” mean anything to you? It’s when a deer from Yukisearth sees something big and unstoppable and blindingly bright bearing down on it, and its unfortunate natural reaction is to freeze on the spot. Only - and this is important - this time it’s not fright. Oh dear goodness it’s not fright “Fancy meeting you here.” See? It’s like he’s reading from a script. Right there, it probably says [i]-chuckle, sort of, maintaining eye contact.-[/i] “Good, uh, thanks. Thanks for that. I really appreciate it.” He can hardly remember if these are the right lines. He’s trying so hard to say the good words. “Do you know how to start a ball? I think I have to start a ball.” He has no excuse not to. Somebody’s got to warn Suli. Hazel’s looking up at her expectantly, looking into her eyes, heart fluttering, without a bit of fear or caution. The situation is delicate. He’s so eager [s]and needy[/s] for the fire in her eyes that the slightest push will send him [i]sinking.[/i] For her. It hardly even matters where to. Just about anywhere would work, so long as she wields even a scrap of her true power. Many things could happen next. Some of them entirely by chance and accident, and wouldn’t that be a shame? For the heart to miss such a moment, all because it was much too silly? Please. If you are willing, put the question to Suli, as only you can. If there is to be silliness, let it come from the heart.