[@TideTypedWrong]I'd mostly tone down the Equipment section and the backstory, but then a lot of the smaller details can be foregone as well. With the equipment it went into great detail on the guns' make and models and such and without intimate knowledge of how those things are built it doesn't make sense how a shadow construct could be that complicated. Just saying a pair of handguns and a couple longer distance rifles are his go-to is good enough, don't really need it to be more complicated than that. Also, with long winded personalities they usually always tend to be one type of character with the addition they can be completely different around the right types of other people. If a character is a brooding type of character put that down, but then don't try to be the joke guy or the hot head as well. Five words for personality is all that's needed, then I gotta make sure you stick to that in-game.

Take a look at some of the accepted Character Sheets in the Character Tab at the top of the thread if you need to see about the length we need for a CS. There's also a section for 'Potential Storylines', so wherever you want your character to grow and evolve in the game needs to be in that section.