[hider=Is this a joke?]
[center][img]https://images2.imgbox.com/b0/7e/HKL5kSAg_o.jpeg[/img][/center]
[center][h2][color=Green]Zoppy[/color][/h2][sup][h3]1★ | Goblin [s]Meatshield[/s] Merchant | Level 1[/h3][/sup][/center]
[indent][color=Green][b]Appearance:[/b][/color] Zoppy is a scrawny, female goblin, standing 2.6 feet short. She has long, messy greenish/black hair that hangs down to her knees and often envelopes more of her emaciated body than the tattered, patchwork rags that pass for her clothes. Her vibrant green eyes are bright and full of life, while her pointy teeth filled mouth often forms a cheerful smile, despite the pathetic state of her existence. Like most goblins, she has green skin, large, pointed ears, and sharp claws on her hands and feet. Well, on [i]one[/i] hand and foot. Her left hand and right foot are both badly deformed, giving her a limp, and an inability to viably hold things with anything other than one hand.[/indent]
[indent][color=Green][b]Personality:[/b][/color] Zoppy is cheerful, upbeat, and extraordinarily optimistic, especially for someone with her various… [i]issues.[/i] She loves “shiniez” (which can be gold coins, but mostly just shiny objects in general) and has decided the best way to get them is to open her own shop at the bottom of the dungeon, just outside the final boss room, in order to sell her amazing wares to any adventurers that make it that far. Unfortunately for the enterprising little merchant, she’s far too stupid to be able to effectively run such an ambitious operation. While she [i]has[/i] a shop, it’s more of a small cave, filled with a cluttered assortment of “stuff fer adventurerz”, which mostly amounts to “lucky rockz”, “lucky stickz”, jars of “lucky dirt”, and other such useless items, with price points ranging from “lotz” to “many many many lotz”. Of course, that doesn’t stop her from enthusiastically trying to promote her worthless wares, even to her fellow monsters, and she can frequently be seen excitedly scampering around her shop, tripping and crashing into things as she tries to find her latest “nicest nice fing” to show off. That said, she can equally often be seen taking a nap on the floor after overexerting her frail body, or due to a self inflicted concussion.[/indent]
[indent][color=Green][b]Abilities:[/b][/color][/indent]
[indent][color=Green]Exceptionally Low Strength:[/color] This is a bad thing, because it makes it hard for her to carry anything heaver than a pebble or several small twigs without passing out from the strain.[/indent]
[indent][color=Green]Exceptionally Low Stamina/Vitality:[/color] This is also a bad thing, since it causes her to get winded extremely quickly, and causes her to badly bruise after only getting bumped or poked with even the most minimal of force.[/indent]
[indent][color=Green]Exceptionally Low Intelligence:[/color] This, too, is a bad thing, because it leads to her making incredibly poor decisions and easily being taken advantage of.[/indent]
[indent][color=Green]Exceptionally High Visual Acuity:[/color] This is actually a bad thing, because she has a hard time focusing on things and becomes easily overwhelmed and distracted, making her dizzy.[/indent]
[indent][color=Green]Exceptionally High Auditory Acuity:[/color] This is also actually a bad thing, because she often gets overwhelmed in even moderate noise level environments, such as when more than one person is talking, which makes her head hurt.[/indent]
[indent][color=Green]Excels at Failure:[/color] Take a guess if this is a good or bad thing.[/indent]
[indent][color=Green]Walking Joke:[/color] Self explanatory.[/indent][/hider]