[center][color=a187be][h1]Yayama Yama[/h1][/color]
Location: Esaka's Mid Tier - Banishing Flats
Status: Not really keeping it together
LV: 5, EXP: 13/50
Word Count: 780 (+2)[/center]

She wasn't alone in the alley. Yayama blinked once, twice, as her head slowly turned up toward the voice, taking her moment to confirm that the newcomer wasn't another apparition conjured by rage, guilt, and sorrow. It was the blonde from earlier, the one that had the meltdown at the teahouse. Funny, how things like this worked out. Now he was trying to comfort her, seemingly already past his troubles earlier. [i]I suppose it's to be expected that some of that famed resilience has been lost.[/i]

"I saved the world, you know," she said. "A couple times. Maybe Petra could have done it without me, but I was there, and I put in a lot of work." Her gaze drifted past Terry, looking into the nothingness of memory. "Almost died a few times. Almost lost everyone. Did lose a few people along the way, may they rest in peace. There was something a friend of mine said once, a sort of mantra that let us push through in trying times. 'For those we have lost, for those we may yet save.'" The dark knight knew she was rambling, and to a near-total stranger to boot, but that didn't stop the words from spilling forth as they came into her mind. "Rings a little hollow now, you know? Knowing that they're all gone. Makes it feel like nothing I've ever done mattered. Which is true, if you think about it, because that wasn't even me. Yayama Yama, the Warrior of Darkness, the Unrelenting, the Rift Walker, the Unforgiven, the Stalwart Sword, is long dead. All I've done is waste a bit of time chasing after petty criminals and putting down the occasional wild beast, really." 

Yayama's eye refocused on Terry. She pushed herself back to her feet, though the sword still supported her. "I basically didn't remember anything of my life - such that it even counts as that - before the heart. I guess I would have known something was wrong if I did. It hit me all at once, all ten years of it. The fighting, the victories, the defeats, the people lost and the people saved, the ocean of blood spilled along the way. I remember when a woman caught a glimpse of Petra's history and almost went mad in the process from what she'd been through, and that was before the worst of the struggle. I've never asked for or wanted pity, mind, but that's how other people felt about us."

She finally took that deep breath he'd suggested earlier, feeling the cool air move through her lungs. She could still feel the equivalent aether circulation, and how it was still sluggish despite her expertise in manipulating it. They'd faced more dire threats afterward, but that had been their darkest hour on a personal level. This situation kept bringing it back to mind, and changing her armor hadn't changed the circumstances around her. 

"It's difficult. I'm trying to take it on the chin and keep moving forward as I always have, but I think I was starting to finally hit my limits after the Final Days. I feel. . . worn. I was looking forward to this business in Tural, a chance to travel and see some sights without needing to cast down a tyrant or forestall the apocalypse. I might've had it in me for more after that, or I might not have. The hope was that it wouldn't matter. But now?" She shook her head. "All of it hit me at once, like I said, and then hit me again for good measure with the knowledge that it's all gone now. I. . . can't honestly say that I know I have it in me to do it again." Her eyes turned downward and closed again as she took another breath. 

After she exhaled, she pulled her blade out of the ground and rested it on her shoulder once more. The brave face was back, for the most part. "And it occurs to me, I never actually introduced myself. As I'm sure you heard earlier, my name is Yayama Yama. People called me the Warrior of Darkness and all those other things. I liked it, it was a nice pairing with Petra being the Warrior of Light. I apologize for what you saw a bit ago. There's not really any talking around that at this point, is there?" She shook her head, briefly closing her eyes as she did. "All those things I've said. . . there have been a couple times where I cracked. I never quite broke, but I cracked. This reminds me of one of those times, too." 

[i]You aren't exactly in one piece right now, you know.[/i]