Dear Squee, 
When I got my wisdom teeth out I tried to bite my own tongue off when I woke up. Then, my mom had stuff to do and my step dad was on a business trip, so my friends were in charge of taking care of me. Needless to say, I obtained lockjaw for about three weeks and I couldn't open my mouth more than a centimeter or two. I was convinced I'd never be able to give another blowjob.
But it got better.
Love,
Aly

P.S. All four?