[right][h2][color=808080]Sirpa's Catharsis[/color][/h2][@Tlazolteotl][/right]

[color=8882be]Sirpa startled, not expecting to be addressed. She had planned to just observe from afar. Her blanket had disappeared, and she yeared for something that felt like a barrier between her and the others. She hugged her pillow tighter and pulled her legs in closer to her body. How uncomfortable it could be to be perceived. She almost wished she too was "far too lost," just to escape the discomfort.

A single ant crawled across her skin. Sirpa flicked it away, only to feel another one appear in the same spot on her arm seconds later. She flicked it away, and another appeared---with a friend this time. Why did she have to feel that she needed something at the same time as others? To take up space when someone else needed it too?

In that moment, it hit her briefly. She desperately wanted to be seen and overlooked at the same time. "Too intelligent for her own good" is what the last therapist had said. The thinking and logic that persistently blocked any further growth. That feeling like she was locked in fight-or-flight. Like she was too much and not enough all at once. Like she was running out of energy fast as she treaded water, uncertain how far down it would be before her feet could push off from the bottom. The ants suddenly swarmed to thousands, crawling over her arms, lap, chest, neck, face, and head for just a few moments. Sirpa quickly inhaled through her nose and shook herself, a series of 2-3 short twitches that cleared all but five of the tiny insects. [s]The ants are not perceived by anyone except Sirpa and the Keeper.[/s] She sat quietly, trying to redirect her attention to the small group ahead of her as the ants roamed across her skin and a static, buzzing feeling throbbed in her chest. [i]Don't draw attention. This is embarrassing.[/i][/color]