[right][h2]Jay’s Catharsis[/h2]
[@Stanifly][@silver21][@Tlazolteotl][/right]
Good thing Silver Blade seemed to have something in mind after they took her hand. Because Jay certainly didn’t. They’d been about half a second away from two strangers just... holding hands. Staring at each other. Waiting for someone to do something.

Silver Blade escorted them back to the circle like a proper gentleman.

Now came the logistical problem of where to sit.

Specifically: how to avoid seeing Sirpa’s expression. Disappointment was hard enough when it was aimed at you directly. Catching it in glances, over and over—that was its own special kind of torture. Jay was scanning the available chairs and running calculations when Sirpa spoke.

[color=8882be]“Sorry.”[/color]

Jay blinked.

[color=8882be]“I just meant that out of all the places you could go, why choose here? It’s...odd here.”[/color]

It didn’t actually have to be here specifically; it could’ve been anywhere. The answer was about to leave their mouth when another thought cut across it:

[i]That’s not entirely true, is it?[/i]

She was right. There were plenty of other places Jay could’ve gone. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t thought about it.

“Because.” Jay took a breath. Let it out. Took another. “There’s a chance the people I mentioned will see this.”

Part of them wanted those people to see this. They also really didn’t. Not that they’d look anyway. Jay couldn’t even see their names without their gut souring. Why would they be any different? [i]Easy, you never mattered to them.[/i]

They picked a seat, left one empty between themselves and Sirpa. When they looked up, the Moderator was sitting directly across from them. She’d been next to Sirpa a moment ago. Hadn’t she? Must’ve glitched.

Jay fidgeted with their fingers.
Interlaced them.
Pulled them apart.
Repeated.

Was it okay to just... start? It seemed like it might be. But what if Jay had barged in on something? They’d just have to trust the others would say something if there was a problem.

And then the intrusive thought invited itself back:

[i]What? Like how you trusted them?[/i]

Jay closed their eyes. “How do you know someone’s your friend? Like... what makes them a friend and not just... someone you know?”