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Despite the victory, things were winding down. Sabine was still getting messages and notifications, but they were more manageable. She had taken a night after their party with the Young Avengers to turn social media off for the day and just…exist as a kid. Sabine had decided to stay at the hotel for that night, not wanting to rock the boat more with the Kingston-Gray family. Despite Danni’s protests and Dorian’s insistence, she felt like it wasn’t fully her place. One day, in the future, distant though it may be, it might be.

Plus, that was also April’s home. It didn’t feel right to insert herself into a loving environment crafted to take care of those within when she had nearly disrupted it.

But before she went back to the school, she needed to speak to April. There was too much unknown swirling around internally. The break-up, the fight, the reconnecting, the kiss, the [i]other[/i] kiss, Sabine nearly beating April to a pulp, the victory. A lot of unanswered questions and Sabine could not rest so easily without at least trying to talk to her.

So Sabine walked up to the KG house and waited to see if April could talk. If not, Sabine would just head home and hope she could speak to her later. Sabine had a lot she needed to address anyway.

The last few days had been a whirlwind - one both good and bad. April hadn’t fully had time to process everything that had happened, and if she were to be completely honest with herself, there were certain subjects she’d avoided thinking about entirely. It was easy and fun to think about how they’d won the Contest of Champions - how they’d made a freshman year dream come through, defeating the very best teams of heroes from around the world. The attention was a lot, but there were moments where April was truly subsiding off of it, floating through the world - times where everything that was a little more shitty seemed to fall away - where she didn’t have to think about being bipolar, about Ser Nemo’s death, about kissing Sabine [i]twice[/i] just weeks after the break-up, about her increasing confusion with her body and her identity… None of that sparked joy to think about, instead just inviting more stress and indecision.

So as she heard a knock on the door, April set her crochet aside on the couch, quickly adding a stitch marker to keep track of her place, and she jogged on over to answer it. It was probably just one of her friends, doubling back for some forgotten item. And yet, as she swung open the door, her jaw dropped slightly in genuine surprise. [color=42A9FF]“Sabine! Did you… did you forget something in your room here? I can help you go look, if you’d like? Or… did you want to come talk to Danni or Dori? They’re around here somewhere, I can always go grab them or… Sorry, I’m rambling. How are you? What’s up?”[/color] Her face had flushed bright pink. 

Sabine was hoping Danni or Dorian would have answered the door first. Hell, even James or Casper, but instead she faced April. No time like the present. [color=A2797E]”April, hello! Um….no I didn’t forget anything here. I actually wanted to talk to you before I head back to school and figured this would be the best time since we won’t see each other for a while. Are you free? I can come in or….if maybe I’m not invited anymore we can go elsewhere. Up to you.”[/color] Sabine was unsure if the KG household welcomed her anymore and she didn’t want to put April in a weird predicament of inviting her in when she shouldn’t. But even then this felt awkward and weird.

April tilted her head slightly, her face scrunching up a bit in confusion. [color=42A9FF]“Why wouldn’t you be welcome here?”[/color] And then, she hesitated for a moment. She knew that Pops could be… a bit strong. And the event with him and Papa that night… That had been a lot. But everything had been worked out - Sabine hadn’t been thrown out of the house, as far as April knew she wasn’t banned or anything. Or was she more referring to the fact that they’d broken up? Or had something else happened April wasn’t aware of? Was Sabine fighting with Danni? [color=42A9FF]“But if you’re not - if you’re not comfortable here, there’s a park not too far from here we can go to. Um. What did you… what did you want to talk about?”[/color] she asked, as her face went from pink to crimson. 

She didn’t need to be a telepath to know what Sabine wanted to talk to her about. 

She barely understood her actions herself, and now Sabine was here, ready to demand answers - to probably chew her out over it, chastise her for playing with her feelings, for being so inconsistent and flaky and… April took a breath, trying to stop the mental train of thought before it completely derailed. [color=42A9FF]“Is it… is it about you-know-what?”[/color]

Sabine waited a beat. It was best to not beat around the bush. [color=A2797E]”Yes April, it’s about the kiss. Or rather, both of them. Let’s get inside and sit down.”[/color] Sabine made sure her ring was still on as she moved to walk in, allowing April to lead to a good place to sit.

Once there, Sabine got into it. [color=A2797E]”The first one I can understand, somewhat. Heat of the moment. Hell, I didn’t hate it. The second time was….a bit unorthodox. I had just punched you. Granted, I thought I was someone else, but still. And it was during an intense match with tons of people watching. With our friends watching. And I can’t help but be…confused? We broke up. And for a good reason, I know that now, and eventually I was okay with it and we started talking more and I felt like we were connecting again. And then you kissed me and it….made things feel wobbly. Good wobbly, but still. I’m not putting you on the spot, but what even happened?”[/color]

April bit her lip so hard she thought it might bleed. Her heart was pounding faster and faster the more that Sabine talked, and even though she understood that Sabine was indicating she actually enjoyed the kisses, her mind still distorted it into something she ought to feel remorseful for - something to feel ashamed about. She glanced down at the ground, wishing it would swallow her up. Pa could probably make that happen. She doubted he would, though. She’d texted in the family group chat letting the parents know a friend was over already. [color=42A9FF]“Um, well… Is it totally crazy of me that I don’t entirely know either? Like um - well the first one was we needed a distraction and it reminded me of that old YouTube recording of Black Widow talking about how kissing makes people uncomfortable so I just - I just kinda did it - which is really shitty of me, since we broke up - I mean I’m the one who even [i]started[/i] the breakup and I don’t… Um, yeah, and then the second time - I just - the thought popped into my head and I just… I just did it? Which I liked it - I always like kissing you, you’re very good at it - but I also - we had been in such a weird place and I don’t want to go back there and I don’t - I don’t think I’m good for dating anyone but… But maybe if you wanted to kiss sometimes, that would be okay. With me, at least. I don’t know how you feel about it. I’m kind of - I’m kind of a mess right now?”[/color] 

Sabine had known her own thoughts were a mismatch of disjointed lines, but it seemed April was worse off than her. Still, that didn’t excuse it. Sabine knew all too well what it was like to make a decision for someone without asking them. [color=A2797E]”So, first off, please take some deep breaths. I am not mad and you should not be feeling as bad about this as you are right now. If I was truly upset I wouldn’t even be here. I don’t think we should be dating. For multiple reasons. But before we even dip into what else we can do with each other I think we both need to get our heads on right. I can only speak for me but I am not in a good place at the moment with everything going on. I haven’t even spoken to Leah about the contest and what happened after. So I am not in the best place to be making decisions on who to kiss and when. It’s not a no, but it’s not a yes. Just…communication needs to happen more. For both of us.”[/color]

April’s shoulders slumped - not necessarily from disappointment, but more from relief. She nodded, and took a few deep breaths, counting as she did so as they had taught her in CAGE. Gods. CAGE felt like a lifetime ago, but it had only been a few weeks, and already so much had changed. They had all changed. She hoped for the better. She really did. [color=42A9FF]“I’m sorry,”[/color] April started. [color=42A9FF]“And I do mean that - I… I shouldn’t have kissed you, either time, without asking you about it first. I don’t know why I did it again, but that’s not an excuse, and I’m going to work on it. It won’t happen again. I promise.”[/color] She then frowned, leaning forward slightly as she clasped her hands together. [color=42A9FF]“If you… if you want to talk about the contest, and what happened, I’m here - I know I tend to ramble, but I can listen. If that would help you. I do - I still - I care about you a lot. Maybe we can be friends? We never-we never really were friends before.”[/color]

[color=A2797E]”No, we sort of jumped into things. Which was a mistake. A good mistake, but one regardless. I’d rather be friends anyway. Can’t have enough of those.”[/color]

Sabine thought about the contest, wondering how to approach the topic with April in mind. She wasn’t upset with April, not really, but it was still a mix of feelings. [color=A2797E]”Part of me feels guilty for leaving the contest early. I was in a bad state and wouldn’t have lasted much longer, but I also couldn’t continue after what happened with Dorian and Billy. And Danni. I saw how it impacted the Young Avengers, and it didn’t feel right to just carry on like it didn’t happen. It felt wrong somehow. And perhaps part of it is due to the fact I am constantly wondering if my actions will paint me as the villain everyone sees me as. Like if I decided to continue and attack Patriot or Hulkling, people would assume I was some heartless freak. But I couldn’t in good conscience continue. I wanted to win, but I was never in this as heavily as you all were. I knew I could be a hero even if I didn’t win the contest. But you all fought so hard and I wanted to be there, but it felt wrong.”[/color]

She nodded, fidgeting into more of a cross-legged position as Sabine spoke. She knew how badly Sabine had wanted to win - how badly all of them had wanted to win. Even a week ago, April couldn’t have imagined a situation where she would have surrendered, couldn’t have imagined that the gestalt would form, that Hulkling - that Teddy would look at them from across the field, with so much pain in his eyes. She glanced down at her hands. [color=42A9FF]“I get it. After what happened… I was frozen. I didn’t know what to do. Attacking them… it didn’t feel good. Especially not Teddy or Billy. I don’t blame you for deciding you didn’t want to continue - and… I’m proud of you for making that choice. I know you worry a lot about how people see you. I do too. I think… One thing that’s come up for me a lot in therapy is setting boundaries and being honest with yourself. I think that was your boundary - your limit - and the fact that you saw that, and made a choice for yourself and not based on what others want you to do… That’s rad. That’s cool as hell.”[/color] 

April shifted in her seat again. [color=42A9FF]“If it helps - I didn’t keep on fighting for other people. I love them, but I didn’t even do it for my brothers, and we’d been talking about this for years. I did it because I wanted to. I let what people think of me and expect from me rule my life. I don’t want to live like that anymore. And I don’t think you should either.”[/color]

Sabine should have known April could relate. [color=A2797E]”Easier said than done, but I’m trying. It’s hard when you don’t have people to look up to that should be modeling the behavior you want. Hell, I don’t think I’ve spoken to my father since the thing with Arcade. He hasn’t messaged me about the contest victory.”[/color] She thought of Max, of their conversations. One of few people in her life she wanted to impress, to make him proud. It was silly, he wasn’t her father.

[color=A2797E]”We all have to make a choice and sometimes that choice will be hard and not make sense, but it’s better than making the wrong one or one that hurts people. And I have to learn to give people that chance to choose good.”[/color]

She nodded, her face falling slightly as Sabine explained her challenge. She had spent half of her life in this house, with four incredible fathers, and she still had struggled so much. All the love and care and attention hadn’t been able to fix what was wrong with her, hadn’t been able to keep her from hiding her thoughts and feelings away or making decisions because she thought it was what other people wanted. April didn’t know how long she had been like this, if the craving for desire and approval had been a part of her when she was little, before she’d met her second family. She didn’t know what to say to Sabine to make any of it better, however. She didn’t know how to give Sabine the role models and guidance that she wanted. 

[color=42A9FF]“Fuck your father,”[/color] April said instead. [color=42A9FF]“He hasn’t talked to you since we - since we technically died? And nothing about you winning the freaking Contest of Champions? He’s not being a father to you. He can go to hell and rot,”[/color] she insisted. [color=42A9FF]“Blood isn’t always family. Family isn’t always blood. I know things are - I know things are weird, and they’re tough, but we’re all here for you. Everyone on Excelsior is here for you. If you want a family… maybe it can be us.”[/color]

Sabine smiled warmly. She had felt closer to the team than ever before. The contest win was great, but the fact they bonded together, came through for each other in the midst of such difficulty, that was what family did. [color=A2797E]”You’re right, fuck him. It’s times like these that make me miss my mom. She always knew what to do or say to make me feel better. She never just threw money at me or sent me off somewhere when she didn’t want to deal with me. I wish she was still here, she’d be proud. And she would love all of you.”[/color] But that was not the case. She was gone. Right?

April nodded. She could relate to this - wishing that people who were gone were still around. She didn’t remember her birth parents, but she remembered her grandmother. She sniffled a little bit, before offering Sabine a sad smile. [color=42A9FF]“I’m sure she’s incredible. I don’t know if you’d ever want to but - I know the seance with Nemo didn’t work out but… Papa - Casper - could try again, with your mom. I’m sure he would if we asked.”[/color] She’d never asked him to show her her grandmother or her birth parents. It was a door she was scared to open. 

Sabine shook her head. [color=A2797E]”After the last seance, I think I’m done. And even if it went well, I think I’d rather just keep the memories I have of her.”[/color] Sabine waited a beat. [color=A2797E]”I’m glad we talked about this finally. And I am glad we are friends again. I hated not talking to you for so long. I admit part of it was my anger, but I also felt guilty. Now I just need to talk to Leah and things will be better. Hopefully.”[/color]

[color=42A9FF]“Things are going to get better,”[/color] April said. [color=42A9FF]“They can’t get much worse, right? Between CAGE and Arcade and the drama at the Contest… I think we’re due for a fresh start and some good luck. Things are going to turn around for us. They have to.”[/color] She didn’t doubt either that Leah and Sabine would be able to sort things out. Even when she had been dating both of them, she’d been able to see how strong their bond to each other was. It had been intimidating back then, but now that she could just be friends with them, it was sweet. It was good to see how they were ride or die for each other. They deserved it. 

Sabine hoped that was true, but in her experience things often got worse before they got better. But maybe there would be a few moments of bliss before the other shoe dropped. [color=A2797E]”Thanks April. Sorry to drop in on you, but I am grateful we spoke. At least before I went back and we wouldn’t see each other for a bit.”[/color] She stood up, wanting to give her a hug, but not wanting to invade her space. She didn’t know if they were there quite yet.

[color=42A9FF]“You know, you can always message me,”[/color] April teased slightly. [color=42A9FF]“I privated my accounts to get away from all the social media fame stuff - but I didn’t delete them since I wanted you all to be able to keep in touch. So give me a holo whenever, okay?”[/color] She stood up as well, and hesitated. She didn’t know what they were supposed to do now. And she’d already overstepped boundaries twice. 

Sabine made the choice then. Good for now, but who knows what the future held? [color=A2797E]”Yeah, I get that. I took a social media break after the contest. I can only handle so many messages. But gotta get into the swing of things now that we are all famous!”[/color] She walked to the door and stepped out. [color=A2797E]”Let’s talk later? And when you come back we can go get some boba or something. My treat.”[/color]

April smiled slightly. [color=42A9FF]“Yeah, that sounds fun!”[/color]