[center][h1]The Problem With Curses[/h1][/center] [hr] [i]"Lucius, my Knight of Angels, my final order to you is this…”[/i] Though he could no longer see the face that spoke those words within his memory, Lucius knew who had delivered such utterance. She had been an angel, a princess of light- an ideal to strive for. Octavia was her name. Or… had that been her name? When he tried to remember what she looked like, all he saw was a warm figure bathed in light. Tears touched his face as she cradled him. Were they his tears? Were they hers? He wanted to remember but the picture never came to him. Had she been of fair skin? Had her hair been that of oak leaves in the fall, flaming red as the wind whipped them into the air? Were her wings of pure snow or had they been mottled with the brown of tilled soil? Had she sounded as his memories made her sound? Elegant and soft but queenly all the same? Or… Was that how he wanted her to sound? Lucius no longer knew such details but he did know what she had done with that sacred command. [i]“...You are not allowed to die until you have been given my permission!”[/i] It had been his doom, in the end. [hr] He always awoke after hearing her. As if he needed to be reminded what the light had felt like. For Lucius had not seen the sun in such a long time. Not here, not in this place. Brimstone and rust were his constant companions now, while the abyss reigned overhead across an ocean of suffering. Pocketed with bubbling hellish pits and poisonous belching geysers, the waters were dark and forlorn. Rippling and tumultuous. Bleached bones of creatures that had never walked above littered the seafloor like a watery grave, reflecting the macabre glow of the pits like visages of the damned and drowned. Lucius glowered as he sat up, chains jostling. He shifted slightly and leaned up against his rock with a sigh. His rock was nothing more than a platform of obsidian, whose edges were licked with the vile waters. At the center rested a raised rock that came up to his waist if he stood. That was where his chains were embedded. It was, of course, his own personal hell. Someone or something had known his lifelong fear of water and they had sculpted this watery twilight world just for him. He felt so special. A woman screamed in the far distance but Lucius had stopped caring a long time ago and it only registered to him as background noise now. He had tried the first dozen or so times to break free from his chains to help but the iron was thick. Eventually he came to the conclusion that it was just a part of the torment. Just as his throat was parched and he could not reach the water. His stomach growled but there was no sustenance. Lucius couldn’t even use his magic anymore. On and on he could go, listing off each agony. But he seldom did that anymore. His life, if one could call his imprisonment, life, had become monotonous. The boredom had truly been what had made him crack. “Come now,” he said, “It wasn’t the boredom that made you crack.” Lucius turned to see himself, balancing precariously at the edge of the rock. This Lucius visited him every day, or at least the times when he was conscious. He wore an old dark robe, his hair cropped short. The man was gaunt with ashen scarred skin, but then again, everything looked ashen in the glow of his prison. His eyes were the only true difference- just dark pits. No pupils, no iris- just black. So Lucius had begun to call him, Dark Lucius, as he couldn’t really be bothered to come up with anything else. Dark Lucius turned his head to Lucius, arms outstretched as the waves lapped at his feet. “You cracked at the ball, don’t you remember?” Dark Lucius smiled, showing sharpened teeth. “Well. technically, you began to crack a few days before that but once it started…” Dark Lucius shrugged. “Yes, I cracked and now I get the absolute privilege of your company.” Lucius snorted. “I should be so flattered.” “You should be. Better me than the other on-” Before he could finish, Dark Lucius was interrupted by his voice, coming from behind the rock. “Not so fast!” Lucius and Dark Lucius turned to look at the newcomer, who was walking around to face them. It was, of course, Lucius. But this Lucius was the opposite of the dark counterpart. His dark hair was long and impeccably lustrous. He wore very fine white robes, a tailored fit and embellished with golden threads. His eyes glowed with a white light. The same white light he dreamed of. Thus, this Lucius was deemed Light Lucius. Which Lucius also couldn’t be bothered to give a fitting name. Dark Lucius sighed. “Do not let this one worm his way into your mind Lucius.” Light Lucius said, coming to a stop three full arms lengths from Lucius. “Your conscience has arrived Lucius, we should be so relieved.” Dark Lucius’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “If you are implying that I am a voice of reason, then yes, I am his conscience. Thank you very much.” Light Lucius retorted. “Can we not have a hissy fit, gentleman?” Lucius asked. “If I am to be saddled with your company day after day, I would at least ask you to consider some days as moments of respite.” “What, your singular dream doesn’t give you respite from this dreadfully wet world?” Dark Lucius inquired, hand upon his chin as he smirked. “I, of course, am open to that suggestion Lucius.” Light Lucius said, “But if he doesn’t act in good faith, I am obliged to react to his heinous speech, you understand.” “Oh, I understand.” Lucius said, stretching out his legs. “We wouldn’t want one to speak without the other chiming in something introspective and helpful, now would we?” “Right you are.” Light Lucius beamed. “He’s being sarcastic, you dolt.” Dark Lucius laughed. Light Lucius gave Lucius an incredulous look. Lucius sighed. “Can we at least have a pleasant conversation today? I’d rather it didn’t devolve into a shouting match, again.” The two looked at each other, then back at Lucius, then back at each other, and shrugged. “Well, I guess?” Light Lucius said after a moment of silence. “Whatever you want, I exist to serve you, Lucius.” Dark Lucius gave a flourishing bow. “Perhaps we could even see how long we can go without uttering a single word.” Lucius asked, eyeing them both hopefully. Before Light Lucius could even speak, Dark Lucius smiled and said, “Let’s talk about Mozu.” Lucius frowned. “Who?” “Come now, you remember Mozu. Brown fur, waggling tail, big ears?” Dark Lucius crouched down at the water’s edge. “The girl who liked you? The one you liked back?” “He never liked the werewolf.” Light Lucius stated. “Didn’t he?” Dark Lucius asked and they both looked at him. Lucius remembered Mozu, at least, he thought he did. She had followed him like a lost pup, or maybe that was because she was basically a dog to begin with? Why did she like him again, wasn’t it because she thought he smelled good? “Maybe at one point I did. Did we ever talk after that argument of ours?” Lucius asked. Dark Lucius shrugged. Light Lucius shrugged. “She was not of the light, Lucius. It would not have worked out in the end.” Light Lucius said softly. “They could have lived in Linore,which was, what did they call it? A border town?” Dark Lucius tapped the side of his head. “No, a neutral town! Where dark and light lived in harmony. Then again, you probably would have betrayed her.” That word, betrayed, sent a jolt through Lucius. He grit his teeth. “I wouldn’t have! If I had just been able to explain myself-” “She would have bitten you.” Light Lucius butt in. “You would have become a child of darkness, Lucius. Is that what you wanted?” Lucius grit his teeth. “What I want or wanted no longer matters.” Lucius snapped. “I would not have betrayed her and she would not have bitten me.” “So you did like her?” Dark Lucius asked. “I… I don’t know.” Lucius said after a moment. She had helped him, hadn’t she? After the fight… Lucius shut his eyes as the memories flashed. The undead. A demon prince. A sword that whispered sweetly. The light… The angel, his princess… She had used her body as a shield to protect their mortal enemy. Then the beast came and… blood and pain. “You’re thinking of the angel.” Dark Lucius whispered, “Not the poor pup who warmed you. Or the girl who showed you Linore. I guess that means…” His dark counterpart trailed off. Lucius looked at him, crossing his arms. “I liked her at the time. She was a brief escape.” he said matter of factly. “So cold, Lucius.” Dark Lucius smiled. “She wanted from him a promise none could seldom keep, not even mentioning she had only entered his life for a few days.” Light Lucius said, leaning against the rock to the side of Lucius. “And when you spoke of this, what did she do? She assumed you would betray her. That leap in logic was astounding. Honestly Lucius, you were better off without her.” Lucius slowly turned to look at Light Lucius. His light counterpart had a stoic look on his face and Lucius knew he said such things not out of malevolence but logic. That should have disgusted Lucius but his heart had long grown cold. Still, there was a tiny part of him that could not help but defend Mozu. “She had her reasons, I’m sure,” he said after a moment. “I would have liked to clear things up but that didn’t happen, did it?” Both of them shrugged. “Both of you are truly wonderful to talk to, you know.” Lucius began, shifting to a more comfortable position on the hard cold rock. “You’d think Light Lucius would be hopeful and pragmatic about my decisions, while Dark Lucius would be the one to play the devil’s advocate but it seems I’ve been thrown into a wolf's den. One smiles as it gnaws into me and the other patiently performs a dictation as it sharpens its claws. I’ll let you decide who’s who.” “Now hold on Lucius.” Light Lucius said as Dark Lucius began to laugh. Lucius silenced Light Lucius with a stern look. His counterpart grimaced and sighed through his nose. “We’ve talked about Octavia far too much to get any meat out of you.” Dark Lucius said while pacing back and forth, hands behind his back. “I guess you could say we’ve feasted all we can there. We know you liked her the moment you spotted her in that forest. And we know you always thought you would never be good enough for her. So when that darkling prince arrived and she quite literally threw herself upon him…” he paused, “Well, that was when you truly began to see things in a darker light, wasn't it? But again, we’ve hit bone with this topic so how about…” he paused, turned to Lucius and smiled, “Orion?” “No.” Lucius said. “I refuse to talk about him, you know this and yet you still persist. You’re always bringing up Octavia, is this just another way to pry the bone apart and get at the marrow then?” Dark Lucius gave an infuriating shrug. “I’m sure they lived happily ever after, the princess and the prince. Reuniting the realms, ending the war, yadda, yadda. We can only speculate anymore.” he came to a crouch just out of range of Lucius, “But Orion… Your family… Excuse this wolf’s appetite but there’s a lot of meat there.” “Meat you cannot have.” Lucius spat. “Why not?” “Because he’s afraid.” Light Lucius said in a quiet voice. “He’s afraid of feeling.” Lucius snapped his head at Light Lucius, who was now just outside of his reach as well. “Insufferable cowards!” he spat. “You think me afraid of talking about my family? About my brother? When day after day you remind me of my failings enough as it is! I will not let you haunt me with new subject matter. My family is my own and I shall hold them precious in my heart, away from your scrutiny!” “You can’t remember them, can you?” Light Lucius asked, his face of deep sadness. Lucius snarled and rose. “Of course I can!” And so he thought and thought but Lucius could not remember their faces. He knew they existed, didn’t he? But he could only vaguely recall his mother’s smile, his father’s deep belly laugh, his baby sister’s delight at the pond frogs as they hopped and croaked while she attempted to catch them and his brother’s wide eyed admiration for him. These were all fleeting whispers, rushing through his fingers as he grasped for them. But always escaping into oblivion. “...Done it again.” Dark Lucius said. “You can’t spring that on him without this sort of reaction. Now he’ll shut down and have an existential crisis.” “I only want to help him, unlike you.” They kept on talking to one another, but Lucius only half listened. He was on a boat in the middle of an empty ocean and the worst part was, the boat was in his head. “How long have I been here?” Lucius asked, a feeling of deja vu overcoming him. He looked at the two, they had grown silent, and he asked again, “How long have I been here?” “Hard to tell.” Dark Lucius said. “A long time.” Light Lucius said. Lucius slumped back against his rock and slid down. He ran his hand through his hair and let out a long sigh that turned to tears. “This is her fault, isn’t it?” “Technically yes but also no.” Dark Lucius chimed. “Only one could be found at fault here.” “Lucius, Octavia did not know what she was doing when she spoke her order. Her mere station as an angel, as the royal princess, made them binding. That said, I don’t believe there was any malevolence in it. She did what she thought best for you, whether that was her right to do so, can be debated.” Lucius felt the bitter laugh escape his lips before he had sense enough to hold it in as he remembered. “She thought I hated her.” “You don’t?” Lucius gave a sharp glance to Dark Lucius. “I thought this bone had been gnawed.” Dark Lucius gave an infuriating smirk. “Forgive a fellow for caring.” “Bah! You don’t care. You never have and never will.” Lucius folded his arms across his chest. Lucius knew he shouldn’t play their games. He should just keep his mouth shut and lock away his thoughts for none but himself. But that was the problem wasn’t it? They were him. So Lucius couldn’t help himself and said, “How could I hate someone I had only known for such a brief time? I overreacted of course, for a man in my station and my age. I thought myself disposable and she did not.” He took a ragged breath. “Try as I might, every time it emerges in my memory, I cannot fathom why. Why did she protect the prince? He attacked the capital did he not? She was in his clutches, was she not? And yet…” “You were very dramatic.” Dark Lucius said after the silence had stretched. “[i]You killed me?[/i] I mean, come on, why did you say that?” “It was the shock of it, I imagine.” Light Lucius said, hands behind his back. “Her innocence in the face of danger became a detriment.” “Ah, now that makes sense. Weaponized innocence. An infuriating gullibility. A fatalism. You heard what she said, the demon prince brought her to a healer. The skeleton was only restraining her. Very convenient for the Prince, don’t you think?” “What’s the grand point you’re trying to make? That Octavia was stupid? Well, she wasn’t. Her innocence was born of her idealism. She believed in the innate good in all, dark and light. If that constitutes a crime, then it is not she who failed but the rest of the world. She was too good for it. But I digress.” Lucius yawned. “I’m growing quite bored of this talk. What happened happened. There is no changing it now. No reason to reminisce.” Dark Lucius studied him for a moment and rose. He brought his hands together, fingers touching as he smiled with that sick smugness. He opened his mouth. “Don’t.” Light Lucius begged, moving closer to his opposite. “The point, my dear Lucius, is that this was the inevitable conclusion of your foray between such powers. After all, you. Are. Only. Human.” He emphasized every word, his smile now showing teeth. Light Lucius looked appalled and his fists clenched. “There it is.” Lucius whispered. “The crescendo.” It was the greatest truth in his life. He was only human in a world of angels and demons. Despite his innate magical ability and despite his love of the light, he was mortal. Doomed to die. Not that he feared old age and death but Lucius had quickly realized he could have stopped so many battles, helped so many more people, saved those from despair- if only he had been more. He could have trounced those who had kidnapped Octavia and gotten out of there unscathed. Maybe then she would have… No. That was a future long past. Still, it begged the question… “Did I die for my heart? This human heart?” “You did not.” Light Lucius said. “Nor were you at peace. The phantom’s words brought you no salvation. I am sorry.” “How did I die then?” “Your contemplation at the ball drove you to rashness. Your heart festered with hate, pain and sadness. These emotions poisoned your reason and…” Light Lucius dipped his head low but said no more. Lucius looked to Dark Lucius, for once his expression was somber. Dark Lucius then added, “You failed to obey the princesses orders when you…” he seemed to choose his words carefully, “...When you passed. Thus, you were stripped of your title, banished from the light as a traitor and imprisoned here.” “Oh.” Was all Lucius could muster. “That’s the problem with curses, oaths, commands, you name it. Once you fail, there’s always consequences." Dark Lucius whistled. “But of course, Octavia didn't know what she was doing, right?” “She only wanted me to be happy.” Lucius said after a moment of silence. “Yes.” Light Lucius affirmed. Dark Lucius came closer to him and knelt with slow, practiced ease. “You were never going to be happy.” “Quiet.” Light Lucius snapped his fingers. Lucius just stared at his darker counterpart. “You would not have found true love, nor the peace that accompanied it. And do you know why, Lucius?” Lucius could only nod in his shame. “Good.” Dark Lucius sighed, slapping his thighs as he stood up. “Being a human living in a world with angelic saints and demonic sinners, tainted by a lust for power, would have brought you here time and time again. That’s the problem with humanity, you’re greedy for more. Just a little more power, isn’t that right Lucius? What would you have done with a little more power besides fucking something else up and wanting more to fix the newest blunder?” he sneered. “It’s good you can’t remember anything more about your family, they’d be ashamed of you.” There was a long moment of silence between them, the only sounds being the woman and her distant screams, the gurgling of the water and a drip, drip, drip. He looked to Light Lucius but the man looked away. His eyes glanced at Dark Lucius but there was only a wolfish grin. So Lucius shut his eyes, trying to banish the dripping but it only made it louder. How could silence be so loud? “Yes!” Lucius blurted at last, speaking to fill the silence. “They would be.” There came no answer and he opened his eyes to find his rock empty. Light Lucius and Dark Lucius were gone. He was alone. He had always been alone though, right? [i]’Yes’[/i] both voices whispered in his mind like serpents hissing. They only knew what he knew. They remembered more of him because they were him. Two parts, two pasts, one present. There would be no future for him. This Lucius accepted. For his story had never been a happy tale. Tears came unbidden, running down his cheeks like rivulets. “I’m sorry.” He wept to no one and nothing. There was no answer. This went on for a time before his eyes grew heavy with numbing fatigue. His last thoughts before unconsciousness were simple, for despite it all and despite the same, he was only human and human just wasn’t good enough. He could hear Dark Lucius’ laughter and Light Lucius weeping, somewhere far away. His light counterpart seemed to say, ‘so close, so damn close.’ He slept and he dreamed. And he heard [i]her[/i] voice. [i]"Lucius, my Knight of Angels, my final order to you is this…”[/i] [hider=A Word] This is a really random post but about sometime in 2025 I began rereading this little rp and it dawned on me I never really got to make an ending for Lucius. So instead of just having this experience fade into obscurity like so many other rp's, I went ahead and just did it. It might not be an ending I saw myself writing so long ago, in fact it isn't haha but it is an ending and to be honest I can't really remember where I wanted him to end up. It was ten years ago, sheesh. Time flies. I don't expect anyone to really understand this post either, without going back and reading the rp itself. And maybe even then, it's a strange one. I simply took what was given to my character and ran with it, I suppose. If it makes sense, it makes sense. I'm sure if Ace ever reads this they will be absolutely appalled by what I've done, so let's hope that never happens XD. Anyways, if anyone in this rp is still around, I hope you are doing well. Don't be too sad about Lucius, this is 100% in character for him. [/hider]