[hr][hr][center][h3][b][color=585c74]Chase Bernard[/color][/b][/h3][img]https://img.roleplayerguild.com/prod/users/019b32f5-6b73-755a-9846-0b44e2adfbc7.webp[/img]
[hr][b][color=585c74]Location:[/color][/b] Margaret Carter - Winter Festival 
[b][color=585c74]Magic Items:[/color][/b]
[b][color=585c74]First Day Fit:[/color][/b] [url=https://img.roleplayerguild.com/prod/users/019c0722-93d7-708f-becb-dd066b6750e9.webp]Flannel, Jeans, and Vans[/url] [hr][/center]

Chase had hardly noticed when his sleeve caught on fire. The flames running up his flannel on his arm as it ate away at the fabric. It was then, as he was pulled low, that he finally noticed Percy within the crowd. No longer blocked by Danni's body, or overshadowed by Leah's height. And the look on his face? It broke Chase. It was a direct mirror to the expression he had the first time that Chase had gotten physical with Percy. The first time he'd started bullying. He hated it back then, and he hated it now. That sense of betrayal, it rocked him to his core. Especially knowing the look was directed past him and onto Danni. Danni didn't deserve this, Danni didn't do anything wrong. And after many sessions Chase now knew, neither had Percy.

 Chase hadn't removed his arm from the snow yet, hadn't dared moved from the spot where he saw his old friend with new fears. Ones caused by him. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to run. He wanted to yell and scream and blame the world. He wanted to tell Ben that he warned him, that he [i]was[/i] a monster and that Ben belonged with the heroes before him and not Chase. He wanted to burn every bridge he'd built and vanish. But he couldn't. He didn’t [i]truly[/i] want any of that. He wanted to belong, to talk to Percy about their past, to stay with Ben and have dinner at Matt's and enjoy Danni's cooking and be in stupid cuddle piles.

Ben's voice cut through the mental fog as more daggers dug into Chase's heart. Twisting and digging deeper with every word. It felt as though the floor was finally falling out from beneath his feet, as if he'd be left alone all over again. Chase thought to himself how stupid he must be to even begin to think that he could change or belong. That's when Ben's voice cut in once again, a mental scolding about how his feelings aren't stupid and they matter. His head spun, he felt lightheaded, and so Chase slowly lowered himself fully into the snow, sitting, hot chocolate long since spilled and abandoned beside him. Danni had said a lot, Danni hadn't said everything, nor could he speak for him. 

When Chase looked up and saw that Leah was even threatening to pummel him, he wished she would. That was more familiar than this silence and waiting. [Color=585c74]”Please don't take it out on Danni Boi over here. He grilled me the second he found out, he's only ever had your best interest at heart…Percival.”[/color] A familiar scene for Ben, a familiar broken tone within Chase's voice as they danced around another one of those dark pits he didn't like to talk about. His hand wanted to hold Ben's, to find strength within him, but he wasn't sure if Ben would even dare to touch him after all this, and he wouldn't blame him. [Color=585c74]”And you're right Benny Boi, I haven't told you everything. I promise I will by days end, some of it here and some in private. Percival knows the details, but it doesn't mean everyone else should. Not on that matter.”[/color] 

If Chase could become pale, he would've been. His legs pulled up close to his chest as he wrapped his arms around his knees, eyes wet with tears that he tried to hold back. He sniffled before continuing. [Color=585c74]”Percival and I used to go to school together. I've known him for years, decades even, there isn't really a time in my life that I can't recall him by my side. We did everything together, the closest of friends, and a life without him…I couldn't imagine it. Everything changed on Valentines day however. He uh…he confessed his feelings to me. How he felt about me, how it was more than just friendship. I uh, I didn't know how to take it or even how to respond. I didn't even know I liked guys for Merlin's sake…we still talked, just not about that. Later that week he left the program we were in. I panicked. I thought, well heh…I thought I took too long to respond to the letter, thought id ruined the friendship and thrown it all away just because I couldn't figure out how to say something that feels so simple now…all I needed to say was ‘Percival I love you, just not the way that you want me to.’ “[/color] 

Chase was choking back tears, the knot in his throat making it difficult to speak as he placed all his cards down for everyone to see. He looked directly at Percy as he spoke the last lines, and from there he dared not break eye contact. [Color=585c74]”You were my best friend, my brother, and I loved you, I still love you. I never stopped even when I thought I did. I was so afraid that if I told you that that you would leave me anyways, and then you left the GATES program, and I – fuck, I did the only thing I knew how, the only thing I'd been shown how…I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry for everything I did and I know it doesn't mean shit and it doesn't change anything and I cant take back the things that I did or said and I dont deserve forgiveness. I know I'm this fucking monster, but I –”[/color] Chase began to speak in-between sobs, his breathing became erratic, and he looked like he was on the verge of an anxiety attack, but he pushed past it all he needed to say these things to clear the air. 

Chase buried his face into his knees and let out a pained scream within the sobs. He cried for a moment, his jeans now soaked from tears, before he finally looked back up at Percy, the sides of his nose were red his eyes more so. [Color=585c74]”I wanted so many times to reach back out to you, to talk to you, but I was so certain you'd changed your number or or or blocked me or I made up so many scenarios in my head of how it would go down and I convinced myself that it would never work out and –”[/color] Another burst of sobs escaped him as he tried his best to get his breathing back into order. [Color=585c74]”Fuck! Just – hit me, yell at me! Do whatever you have to! Just say something!”[/color] His face buried into his knees once more as he continued to sob quietly as his energy quickly left and he felt numb.