[quote=@darkred]
Would Halius know Latin, or is Varric a new form of Latin, just curious?
[/quote]

I'll defer to Tank on that, but I want to point out our style again:

[code]*Holds my hand up, fist on his chest, in a Roman Salute, and my voice carries the authority of drilled formations and battlefield command*
Marius: Amicus sum. Centurio Marius Titus, Legio XIV Gemina. (I'm friendly, I'm Centurion Marius Titus, 14th Legion of Rome, Gemina.)
*Eyes the men*
If there's a Rome still here, then I stand ready to serve it. Under what standard do you march?[/code]

TL;DR, needs to be first person, actions need to be marked with *, and quotes aren't necessary around dialogue. On the language thing, I'd probably prefer a general *Speaks in Latin* once for the character instead of doing live translation, but I probably won't enforce that unless it becomes excessive.