It was overcast. The clouds a dust sheet laid over the sky like a table cloth. Hazed sunlight hidden behind a curtain, shards of yellowed light pierced through the air, casting shadows across the cemetery. Summer was sat in her beloved Mini, asscheeks fastened to the leather seats, hands gripping the wheel as if she were still trailing the roads. Her eyes, fixed ahead, felt dehydrated as her eyelids scraped across the surface in a dry blink. A breeze ruffled the branches of weeping willows scattered across the graveyard, those unmoving headstones the only part of the landscape unaffected by hearty winds. The Mini’s engine still rumbled softly beneath Summer’s seat, music still seeping absentmindedly from the dash speakers. Summer swallowed, struggling to manage the large lump that had formed in her throat, nestled stubbornly in her jugular. The cemetery car park was reasonably busy, gravel crunching as cars snailed into their chosen spaces. Still, she remained in the drivers seat, focusing on the laboured breaths that heaved at her chest. 

[quote] “[i]Sometimes people can love one another more than anything, Summer… But they just can’t reach eachother anymore… I don’t think my love can reach you anymore…[/i]”[/quote]

The words, committed to memory, echoed within the chambers of Summer’s mind. It had been a conversation played and replayed over and over when she was younger. If it were a tape recording, the reels would’ve worn away from overuse long ago, the image grainy with age. 

[quote] “[i]I meant what I said when we promised forever… But you’re so far away, Summer… I can’t do it anymore. It’s too hard. I didn’t think “long distance” would feel like this…”[/i] [/quote]

But what if they’d tried harder? Given it more energy? More effort? Would their relationship have withstood the test of time if they’d protected it more? And then Summer would be grieving the person she really had committed her life to, not the person she thought she would. What was worse? Grieving all that was… Or grieving all that could have been? She pinched the locket that sat on a gold chain around her neck, moving it back and forth across her clavicles, biting down on her bottom lip. The death of a powered person had truly shocked Elysian Heights - but it was the death of [i]Austin[/i] that had left Summer feeling truly wrought with disbelief. He’d been so… Alive; His spirit so vibrant and so unwaveringly bright. She could still picture his dimpled laugh, his small smile, light refracted in his eyes… The way he’d brush her hand away dismissively, brandishing his own bank card to buy their morning coffees. Summer could still remember the scent of his neck as he’d lift her into a giant bear hug, chuckling at how her feet dangled comically. How had they got here? Separated by life and death, like a vast expanse of water, there was more distance between the two of them than ever before. Summer gripped her car keys, still in the ignition, and listened to them clatter as she finally killed the engine. The music was abruptly cut off, a silence flooding the car. She took a shaky breath and turned her head slowly to see if anyone else was yet to arrive. 

Austin had been very much [i]here[/i], leaving an impression on everyone he came across. The funeral, entirely different to the show of a parade the day before, would be exclusively for those who really knew Austin. School friends, camp friends, college friends, family… Summer wondered who she’d be reunited with today. She had to muster the energy to flick her inner switch, the one that would allow her to partake in small talk with people she hadn’t seen for years. Those memories of Austin that plagued her, weighing on her every move, had to be shelved. She craved the ease of conversation without the knowledge that Austin was no longer here. How would she feel being faced with the tears of others who shared her pain? Could she withstand the stark reality of this Funeral? There was no denying Austin’s death as they collectively watched his coffin being lowered into the ground. She couldn’t kid herself he’d suddenly reappear, the punchline to a sick joke, as that first fistful of dirt was tossed over where he slept eternally. Summer pulled down the sun visor overhead, revealing a small mirror that reflected back a woman with bloodshot eyes and dark circles hidden beneath concealer. She barely recognised that woman staring back. It had finally caught up with her - Reality. And she was wearing her grief, it hung around her, written into the attempts at a smile that would fail to fool anyone. 

Cold sweaty hands fumbled with the door handle, popping it open with a huff of effort. Summer swung her legs out of the Mini, her black leather loafers crunching down on gravel. The breeze instantly ruffled her chiffon dress, playing with the ruffles and folds of material like a wind chime. Her twists, half pulled up into a bun on top of her head, were tousled by the wind. It clawed at her cheeks, pinched at her lobes, stung her eyes. Instantly, they watered. 

Rising unsteadily to her feet, Summer bumped the car door shut with her hip, wrestling with the keys cupped in uncertain hands to click the lock button. Legs laden with the efforts to move normally and naturally, she began the slow walk to where Austin was being laid to rest. Her inner monologue scolded the visible struggles, a stern voice told her to get it together. Arms folding across her chest, Summer cradled herself as another breeze kicked up around her. Shaking her head as if to rid her of the negative aura surrounding her, Summer focused her gaze straight ahead, scanning the scene for where Austin’s mourners would be gathering.