[img]https://img.roleplayerguild.com/prod/users/019b6781-ae3b-76f0-87f4-d8921a6601aa.webp[/img] [center][h2][color=mediumpurple]C O U G A R C R A Z Y[/color][/h2][h3][color=mediumpurple]Los Angeles Zoo & Botanical Gardens[/color][/h3] [color=gold][sub]Interactions- [color=#40B4C4]| James l[/color] ([@FourtyTwo]) ||[/sub][/color][/center] [hr] [url=https://youtu.be/he16ctlqAgU?si=7erWnVdsO4isKGgo]Lampshades on Fire - Modest Mouse[/url] Jet stared at the scene in front of him in abject horror. What really sent him was the comment about men in heat. He already knew he was a dead man walking in this crowd. A mask? Dangerous- he could be anybody under it, and his suit did betray he was more fit than Average Joe. He saw the posts about booktok girlies on the internet. This was going to be a nightmare. The porcelain tiger the woman threw smashed into the floor within a few feet of him. “Jesus.” [quote][color=lightblue]"Cougars. They meant that kind of cougar. Asteroid, up to you, mate. You're an expert on this sort of thing, aren't you? See if you can bring this one to a peaceful end. Or at least, bring some order back to this chaos so everyone can enjoy the zoo again." James finally cracked, shaking his head, knowing the grannies he'd dealt with before were probably beyond that definition.[/color][/quote] Asteroid groans into the comm system. [color=mediumpurple][b]”Wrangling Cougars at the zoo, got it James. I’m starting to think it’ll be tough to escape.”[/b][/color] He takes a deep breath and then approaches the woman with his hands held palms out in front of him. Like he really was trying to calm a wild animal. The older woman, Mrs. Porcelain to Jet in his brain straightens up. And for a flicker of a moment he saw echos of her past life. Her standing at attention in front of a group of young people. Oh- no. [color=mediumpurple]”Ma’am, I’m Asteroid, SDN hero. And I think-”[/color] He is within three feet of her when her arm lashes out and throws the entire display of porcelain tigers to the floor. Jet grimaces beneath his mask. He tries to recall if that’s paperwork SDN has to file, or just the business with their insurance company. [color=gold]”Listen sweetheart- I was promised men, and best I can tell you’re the only one in a fifty foot radius.”[/color] Previously unnoticed, the women have closed in on him from every angle. A chorus of affirmative cheers makes him jump. A shiver runs up his spine. [color=mediumpurple]”Listen ladies- I heard there’s a Phenomaman look a like competition a few blocks over! We can get back on your bus and head over there.”[/color] The women begin to break things all around them. The manager’s depressed whimpers can be heard from behind the counter. He pivots to reassure the woman that he’ll be able to get it under control when Mrs. Porcelain takes this opportunity to jump on his back. He lifts her with ease, but he swallows with discomfort. [color=gold]”Forward, march.”[/color] the woman barks from his back. The women around him at once turn and begin moving toward the bus. Guards at the gate give him sympathetic looks as he approaches the party bus pimped out by the retirement home. The feather boa lined windows were what surprised him the most. After dropping Mrs. Porcelain at the top stair, the other women begin to climb in after him. One of them smacks the back of his knees with their cane and he stumbles forward. The older women then begin to climb or shimmy over him until just one is left at the bottom of the stairs. She’s wearing sunglasses and holds an extendable pole in her hands. He pries himself from the stairs, feeling a bit bruised from the clown events. He’s sure a few old ladies would have hurt a lot less prebroken ribs. He reaches down and grasps her hand lightly. [color=mediumpurple]”I’ll help you up, Ma’am.”[/color] The woman says nothing but takes his hand and proceeds up the stairs. [color=mediumpurple]”Anyone not accounted for?”[/color] A chorus of mumbles as they discuss. Suddenly a shrill voice from the middle of the bus pipes up. [color=gold]”Anybody see Darlene?”[/color] Asteroid sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he pivots to the bus driver. [color=mediumpurple]”Shut the door and don’t let them out unless it’s dire circumstances.”[/color] He ignores the driver's protests as he marches back into the zoom. In the middle of the entrance zone there is a fountain. Inside the fountain is a family of Mallards. And Darlene. Presumably. [color=mediumpurple]”You Darlene Ma’am? Your friends are looking for you.”[/color] Asteroid stands at the edge of the fountain. Inside, Darlene is stretched out like it is actually a hot tub. The Mallards float stiffly on the other side of the fountain from her. He examines her after there is no answer and finds that she is wearing a name badge with ‘Darlene’ and ‘Alzheimer's’ in big block letters. Jet reaches into the fountain and is able to retrieve her and stick her back into her overturned wheel chair. A lazy smile doesn’t leave her face as Asteroid pilots them back to the bus. Where they find a concerning scene. Inside, the driver stands in the middle aisle, hands over his face while several purses rain down on him. It isn’t until Asteroid has Darlene safely tucked into her seat that the driver rushes the front of the bus. [color=gold]”We’re leaving.”[/color] Asteroid begins to protest but it is interrupted by a purse to the face. More follow, and as they pull away from the curb he fully steps into the shoes of the driver. Being pelted by every angle by purses. When they finally make it to their destination, Mrs. Porcelain drags him inside. They approach the desk, where three unbothered women sit, eyes glued to their computer screens. [color=gold]”See girls, I told you I’d get myself a chaperone!” [/color] These errands double the time Asteroid thought he’d be gone for the dispatch, as he is forced to run around with Mrs. Porcelain. [color=mediumpurple]”James- I think I’m swearing off old ladies for awhile”[/color] He reaches the breakroom last and he finds his pockets are inexplicably stuffed with Werther’s Original candies. He offers them to everyone in the room slowly.