[quote=Mammon]
-what you wrote-
[/quote]

i think that's what i was trying to say. 

when river died, i didn't feel angry or resentful about him killing himself. i didn't know [i]why[/i] he did it but if that was his choice then i'm glad he's at peace. the last thing i wanted was for him to keep living with so much pain/or whatever. 

some people think they can't be helped. i didn't think anyone could help me and i didn't see the point. i was tired of reaching out to people that weren't interested in helping me, and i felt like i was bringing everyone down when i brought it up.