[hider=Spriggs] On their first mission their helicopter was shot down, their pilot and co-pilot were killed, they slowly had to journey back to the city but almost everyday they lost someone, till it was just Ash on her own, while she was on her own she traveled day and night killing anything that gotten in her way between the city and when she had gotten back she climbed the wall free handed and was brought back into the city. When she had a psyche analysis test they found out she had ptsd and gave her a temporary discharge to get herself together, during that time she did manage to get some of her sanity back and fell in love with a man that was a civilian weapon smith, that built weapons for military. Soon her discharge was extended after she had gotten pregnant and given birth to two twins, Ash and her husband took care of both their children, when the twins turned four, Ash had gotten a call asking if she would return to duty, she told them she would have to think about it. Two days later, after she had gotten her call from the military, her husband had a heart attack while behind the wheel of his car, one of their kids was in the car with her husband and died when the car crashed into a street light fell on it. After that day Ash called the military back telling them that she will return to duty as soon as she can, when she got back into action she was told that she would have to take antipsychotics, she didn't argue with them and takes the medication almost daily; letting the medication make her almost stoic. [/hider] A very decent, lore-abiding application and a nice concept in general, also very impressive to be able to make out of what patchy history and facts we've been spewing forth whilst you were writing it! It's a bit of an improvement on our behalf - we'll try to make a more concise "history and background info"for all of you, but if you've read it all carefully, you'd notice how...well, messed up the District is. -Very- dictatorship-styled, and the Defence Team get in on everything. Things that you'll have to alter, Spriggs: ● It looks like Ash has had a pretty tough life, and whilst the Squad part was understandable and medication would've been taken for it...they wouldn't have let Ash back on the team after the car crash. Logically, they would've let Ash back in by the skin of her teeth after being prescribed anti psychotics - nobody wants a crazy soldier in their army. ● What team is she in? Ranged, or Offensive...? I'd assume one of the two, judging by her fighting style. (Join ranged, we're much better than Hovelmeier's team*) *We're completely NOT biased against whichever team you choose, mind. They all basically work together in training, missions, etc. --------- Things that we're going to improve: We're going to add a quick 'opening' to the plotline, and get a floorplan for the base. Also, the CS template is under work, but only add the extra details if you want to. We do, however, want you both to take a look at fixing the alterations before being accepted. Thanks for applying, though; it's really inspiring for the two of us to see people interested enough to join up.