My name is Michael, protector of the peoples of Earth, Leader of the armies of Heaven, Head of the Archangels, and Prince of Seraphs. I come to the people in there hour of need to answer the prayers of the tormented and ill. My Lord God in Heaven grants me control over the elements and forces of nature on the mortal plane. When the Earth splits open and Hell spills forth I shall be the one to cast down Lucifer and his forces and create the Lords eternal paradise.

Trumped.