Deep in the night even Osamu found sleep overtaking him. He loathed the necessity of sleep, like death, it put even great men on their backs. It was a waste of time, time he could better spend achieving something. But the calm before sleep brought his mind to a fervour. When he was busy it could be distracted, put to the task at hand. Inactivity was what let it run rampant and there was no inactivity greater than trying to sleep. It was here that he saw enemies come at him from every shadow, that he delved into the imagined minds of nobles and saw only murder and malice in their them. It was here that he heard dreaded voices from the past and feared voices from the future. Here his mind’s eye played out every nightmarish scenario. Unwilling to let Yuzuki gain any hint of his spinning mind he ensured he had his back turned to her as he tried to sleep, hiding his face and darting eyes. Part of him wanted to look upon her as they both tried to rest, to ensure her wellbeing but he could not let her know the state of his mind. 
 
Unfortunately, he was to have little say in the matter. Exhausted from battle, drained by medical treatment and fatigued from his daily life Osamu fell prey to unconsciousness. There, whilst his mind lay truly open, he was vulnerable. What was about to occur did not always happen, but the threat was always there. If Yuzuki was conscious come the time she would see Osamu move uneasily in his bed, as time passed the movements would get frantic and desperate yet contained, as if fighting against imaginary constraints. He would make strange sounds, desperate and loud moans like a man trying to scream with his lips glued shut. 
 
Eventually the effort would break him from his slumber and Osamu would awake, suddenly and with a quiet noise of horror and fear. Looking about him Osamu instinctively began reassuring himself that he was now in the real world. The unfamiliar surroundings made this a slower process than usual but he reached the conclusion eventually. The man was as white as a sheet, wide eyed and in a cold sweat, for a moment he was even shaking but he got control of himself eventually. Slowly, ever so slowly, as if trying to be as quiet as a mouse, Osamu turned. He aimed to see if Yuzuki was awake. If not he would remain quiet and hope the incident went unmentioned. If she was awake then he had better brace himself for questioning. 

It had been a stressful day. Having ran here and there after every single patient, dealing with emergency situations and stabilizing critical conditions, Yue felt drained as she sat down on a chair outside the recuperating ward. She could feel the exhaustion settling heavily onto her body yet she still had work to do. She’d graciously accepted the fifteen minute break as soon as she made sure that every patient in her section wasn’t in dire need of healing and had settled down in the corner of the nursing station at the end of the ward’s hallway. For today she wasn’t directing assassinations or running reconnaissance missions – today, she had taken on the role of a healer. As the Fourth was quite short on healers with the influx of patients from the previous day’s battle, Yue had volunteered to help on her day off. Though she usually spent those days in her Division attending to matters, they could run smoothly for a day or two without her. 

All too soon, her fifteen minutes were up. There would be no more interruptions in her shift for the night as she’d just come back from her house in the Yukihiro compound in-between shifts and there were no more nurses stationed on her section. Yue glanced at the list of patients in the register, inwardly sighing at the amount of patients she’d gotten. However, two names caught her eye. The first one stood out like a beacon yet it hardly surprised Yue. Ueshima Yuzuki, hardly an uncommon name in the register for the past few centuries, always in and out of the hospital, most often to apologize to the Shinigami she’d sent to the ICU. It was usually the other way round, though – it was the aforementioned Shinigami that spent their days recuperating, not Yuzuki herself. Nevertheless, Yue could easily find a reason – she’d picked a fight with one of the high-ranking Shinigami, possibly a Captain. She sighed to herself and smiled – the woman always did scare her quite a bit. 

But the other name was quite surprising. How had Osamu managed to land himself in the hospital? In the same room as Yuzuki, no less. Yue felt a little bit of worry go through her – had he finally pissed off the wrong people and ended up in the hospital for good? She was brought out of her thoughts by a tap on her shoulder. Turning, she was greeted by the male nurse that had taken her shift while she had been on break. 

“I’m leaving now, alright? Have a nice night.” The man said and waved before walking out the door, leaving Yue alone to watch the patients for the night. Half an hour in, Yue started doing her rounds, checking up on every patient’s room and monitoring their vitals, administering medicine and applying Kaido where necessary. Thankfully, most were fully healed by now and were just sent in to allow their bodies to get used to their new condition. By the time she reached the room at the end of the ward, Yue was in autopilot mode and entered the room, her eyes automatically flying to the heart monitor of one of the patients. It was steady, a good sign. After reading through the file left on the counter, Yue quietly rummaged through one of the drawers and pulled out two syringes with strong anesthesia. Just as she was administering both of them to Yuzuki’s legs, Yue heard a sound that sounded suspiciously like a muffled scream. 

She stood rooted to the spot, watching the other patient in the bed next to Yuzuki, faintly recognizing some of the features. It was hard at first due to the hospital gown he wore. Though she could recognize Yuzuki anywhere, Osamu was a bit harder to make out beneath the faint shadows and the ghastly hospital gown but nevertheless, it was him. She watched him struggle for a while, feeling the urge to simply wrap her arms around him and end his misery. Yet, she didn’t – the fact that it was Osamu made her stand next to Yuzuki and avoid coming closer, trying to diffuse her internal battle between her personality and her logic. Absentmindedly, she wondered whether Yuzuki would wake up but the woman slept on peacefully, obviously tired from her physical exertion and intense treatment. The drugs she was on also kept her groggy most of the time, the IV dripping fluid that kept her knocked out for hours. 

Eventually, however, it was too much to bear. Though his discomfort and writhing stopped, Yue found herself walking closer to him and she knew that her personality had won out. Careful not to startle him, she gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Normally, she wouldn’t have dared initiate physical contact like that but this was different – she had to be there for him and give him a little bit of comfort to calm him down, to show him that he was alright. Nevertheless, she didn’t move any further. He would come to her if he needed to, he just needed to know she was there. “Are you alright?” Yue asked in a soothing voice, her eyes softening. It wasn’t often that Osamu was so visibly shaken up, he always seemed strong and alert. But now, it was different. 

When Yue placed her soothing hand on Osamu’s shoulder he tensed up and froze. Someone had seen him! Someone was here! Combine this with his half-awake state and his utter fear and he may as well have felt someone put a blade to his neck, the effect would have been the same. But that changed when he heard the voice behind the hand. 
 
It was Yue, thank whatever providence there may be it was Yue! True he would have preferred if no one was there at all but since that was not the case this was the best possible outcome. He immediately felt safer and calmer, there was no threat here now. Just someone he emotionally trusted. But seeing her face, her soft eyes and concerned expression relieved his heart in a different way. The reason why would not be immediately clear to Yue, to know the answer to that she would have had to see his dream. But seeing her here was a huge and welcome relief. He was still shaken, he was still pale and cold but things were better now. 
 
He managed to surprise even himself with what he did next though. Mustering what strength he could and ignoring the pain in his chest Osamu rose up and embraced Yue. Perhaps it was because his nightmare had forced him into a state of emotional extremes, perhaps it was because his mind was not yet fully awake, perhaps because he felt that vulnerable and could trust Yue that much, perhaps because he genuinely wanted to or perhaps because of all of these things, he put his arms around her. 
 
It was not timid or cautious, there was no careful calculation going on in his mind about the likely impact, about whether it was wise or appropriate. This was instinctive, heartfelt and full. He embraced her and he did so hard. It was almost as if he was hugging her to make sure she was real and to make sure she was safe, it felt as protective as it was seeking help. Her question also provoked an odd response. With his mouth by her ear he whispered. 
“No. I will be though, I will be.” He was still shaking, something had clearly rattled him very, very deeply. It was what he said next though that was truly strange. “But you are all right and that’s what matters. You’re going to stay all right!” He said that last sentence almost defiantly, as if daring the world to stand against him in this regard. He would keep on embracing her so long as she did not resist. “Thank goodness it was you.” He whispered again as he held her. 

Yue’s concern grew at the feel of Osamu flinching away at her touch. What had happened that had rendered him so frightened? She truly couldn’t comprehend the reason for his fear; her calculating, sharp gaze had melted away into one of warmth. His cold and pale state worried her much more than it normally would’ve and she moved closer to him, intent on making sure he felt alright. So when he pulled her into a sudden embrace, Yue didn’t flinch away, nor did she show any sign of repulsion, because she didn’t feel any. Even if it had been a situation with weapons present, Yue wouldn’t have pulled away; she knew that Osamu felt shaken up and was in need of somebody there. The contact was slightly awkward and very unfamiliar to her but she eventually eased into it.
 
On instinct, Yue wrapped her arms around him in response, gently stroking his back to subtly tell him she was there. It brought out a rather unfamiliar side of her, even softer than what she usually portrayed but Yue couldn’t help it. She returned his embrace with warmth and comfort, glad to see that he was more awake now. She leaned down slightly, pushing him down ever so gently so that he didn’t hurt his healing breastbone or any of his internal organs, at the cost of additional strain on her back. But it was worth it. "You're alright now, you're safe and have nothing to worry about." Yue softly whispered to him.
 
At his words, Yue felt a little bit lost. She pulled away slightly, her blue-green eyes giving him a mildly questioning look. “What do you mean? Do you want to talk about it?” She was by no means forcing him to tell her yet she felt the tug of curiosity. It didn’t manage to outweigh her concern; no, not by far. She moved closer again, wrapping him in a soothing, comforting embrace that would hopefully do him some good, her hand gently stroking his back in an attempt to calm him down and warm him up from his cold temperature. “I’m here for you.” Yue said quietly, voice laden with conviction. There wasn’t anybody in Soul Society that didn’t deserve to at least be heard out; yet Osamu deserved so much more, something Yue was already leaning toward giving to him. He certainly did need it right now.

Yue did the best thing she could have possibly done in reaction to Osamu’s sudden and unexpected embrace. By returning it she garnered so much favour in his eyes that it was almost dangerous. He felt safer, he felt warmer, he felt validated, he felt that in some way he was cared for. Yue might one day live to regret showing such kindness but it would not be today. Her hand rubbing his back gently was so appreciated he couldn’t even try to describe it in words. Her gentle words of reassurance, though slightly misguided, were similarly valued for their intent. She was wide of the mark but she was trying and she cared and that meant everything. Her words “I’m here for you.” Would play in his head time and time again for a very long while. Their impact remained to be seen, both good and bad could come from them. But they were lodged in his head now. The significance of what Yue had done over the past few seconds would be hard to overstate. 
 
After a few more moments of silent embrace Osamu backed away ever so slightly, hands now on the backs of her shoulders rather than locked in a full embrace. This also allowed him to settle into a less stressful position and would grant her the same luxury. He still wanted her close, he valued it hugely and he still wanted the reassuring contact. But by backing away slightly he was signalling that he was a little better now. Casting a brief glance at Yuzuki he asked quietly.
“Are we sure she is unconscious? She will stay that way?” Osamu had swiftly come to hold Yuzuki in high regard but this was not a conversation for her ears, not yet. This was only for Yue.

As soon as Osamu let go of her and laid down, Yue felt relief for both of them as the ache in her back slowly dulled. It eased the physical strain of the embrace and though his hands were still on her shoulders, Yue didn’t mind. It was comforting knowing that he was in a much better state, though Yue quickly called that into question in the following moments. He seemed tense and unsure, and Yue quickly resumed her gentle stroking on his shoulder this time. She followed his glance towards the sleeping woman and once again wondered what had caused Yuzuki so much damage. He had nothing to worry about, however. “The lower half of her body is under regional anesthesia and she’s on sleeping medication and other drugs that induce unconsciousness, including a muscle relaxant to get her to relax for tomorrow. I just administered them according to the Head Healers’ orders so she won’t be awake anytime soon.” True to her word, the said muscle relaxant was slowly seeping into Yuzuki’s system via the IV drip along with the sleeping medication Yue had administered through the syringe. Yuzuki was scheduled for a full-body check-up and last-minute work on her legs, which would require minor surgery so relaxation was a must. Any additional strain could’ve caused complications for the Healers that would’ve kept Yuzuki in here even longer. But she didn’t want to bore Osamu with the medical details so she kept it at that.

But it did make her concern and curiosity grow. What did Osamu have to say that he couldn’t in front of Yuzuki? Yue knew the woman was callous and at times unrefined but she tended to be understanding. Not as much as Yue but it was there, much to Yue’s initial surprise. Nevertheless, she stood by him, patiently waiting for him to continue.
 
Sighing Osamu looked down for a moment, deeply uncomfortable with things. He hoped Yue did not take offence at this, had it been anyone else other than her he would have been in an utter frenzied panic by this point. She really was the best possible thing that could have happened. But he could not tear his gaze away from her comforting, warm eyes for long. Those hues could be as sharp and deadly as knives. He had seen it first hand, their was a savage and keen mind back there but now there was such warmth and tenderness that he found himself soothed, enraptured and tormented at the same time. He wanted to talk about what had been bothering him but he was not sure how, nor was he sure she truly wanted to hear when she found out what it was. 
“It’s not me that I was afraid for, well it was and it was her and the crushing crushing…..” He was getting mixed up, starting the next sentence before the first one had finished. His brain was skipping from idea to idea so fast that his lips couldn’t keep up. His breathing began to get out of control and he had to wrestle himself into line. It took him a few moments and he drifted close to Yue as he did so but eventually, he got himself in line. 
 
He looked up at her. His mind was prone to exaggeration and extremes even at the most relaxed of times. When it committed to an idea, a thought or an emotion it committed fully and hard. Perhaps that explained the strength of his feeling. But she was so beautiful, when he thought that he didn’t think of her body or her mind, he thought of her soul, her nature. Perhaps he wasn’t thinking straight and he almost vocalised that thought. His lips began to move to say it and with only a little, even unintentional, emotional prodding he probably would. But instead he finished his previous sentence. He sounded vulnerable and afraid but so genuine and concerned at the same time. 
“It’s you. I couldn’t stop it.” 

As confused as Yue felt at his words, she sat down on the side of his bed, taking as little space as possible as she continued to run her hand over his shoulder comfortingly, encouraging him to relax. She leaned towards him slightly, worried at the mixture of words that seemed to flow from him but not making any sense. Stopping her movements, she placed both hands lightly on his shoulders with as much care as she could, as if comforting a frightened child. But he wasn’t like a child, he was so much more and Yue was slightly baffled as to how to properly calm him down so she did what came instinctively.

“Shh, it’s okay. We’re safe and alright, see?” She touched the side of his face lightly as if reaffirming their existence before returning her hands to his shoulder. Yue didn’t even have to put in any effort anymore, her comforting reaction came naturally. It hurt her slightly to see Osamu so shaken up over Yue herself, making her wonder exactly what he’d seen yet she did feel a twinge of affection. She was surprised at herself for feeling all these foreign and unexpected things – why did it matter whether he was in shock or not? Even now, her logic was screaming at her to abandon him and let him go through the spell himself yet there she remained, stubbornly ignoring it in favor of seeing him alright again. Granted, he did tend to irritate her a bit more than she’d have liked but that was just the political side of him. She’d been immensely fortunate to witness the personal side of him and Yue was glad to know he was a genuinely caring human being. Perhaps that was why she remained, why she felt the immense urge to help him out. 

Yet his words had thrown her for a loop. Why had he clutched at her like that in the beginning as if she had been dead and come back to life? By all means, it was strange, and even his last words made her heart hurt, genuinely confused as to why she herself had caused him to become frightened and jittery. It made no sense; shouldn’t he have pushed her away if that was the case? But it only brought her relief to see that he had reacted positively, more than positively even. “What did you see? Why was I getting crushed?” She gently inquired. 

“No you aren’t..” He began in an effort to explain what was going on in his mind but the chain of thought broke for a moment. Her tender attitude, her hands so recently on his face, the mere fact she was here. A moment of chilling calm came over him for a moment as he looked up into her eyes before saying gently, quietly and sadly. “You sweet, gentle, beautiful creature.” He sounded almost pained and sorrowful when he said that. But it was genuine, you could tell he meant every word of it and you could hear the affection in his voice, but something about how beautiful she was made him sad and slightly afraid. He wanted to just take her up in his arms and carry her away from the world right now but he knew he couldn’t. There was no running away from the world. 
 
Straightening himself up in his bed he gently placed one of his own hands on her cheek and held it there tenderly for a few moments. “You are too good for this. I won’t let it happen.” He said quietly before repeating in a slightly more aggressive and defiant tone. “I won’t let it happen!” But he realised how crazy this must all seem to her. Gently taking his hand away from her face, though clearly regretting the necessity, he looked down for another brief moment and sighed. 

His sadness seemed to have a mirroring effect on Yue and she surveyed him with a bit of sorrow, though her cheeks did color a little bit following his words. It was fairly unnoticeable in the dimness, though, so she’d gotten away unscathed. However, it did instill and even deeper sense of worry in her that was made apparent in her expression. Not even his own hand on her face made her worry die down, and though the contact did slightly startle her she only sent him a reassuring smile. “Let what happen? Tell me so that I can help you, please. I really want to help you; I don’t like seeing you like this…” Yue’s voice was tinged with a bit of sadness, yet she couldn’t keep her concern out of her voice. 
 
After a while he resumed speaking, still looking down. His tone was shaken and weak once more, it was as if he was forcing himself to say every word, struggling against some great emotional weight that tried to force his words back down his throat. Even his reason was telling him to be quiet, that telling her anything was a bad plan, that even setting aside the fact she may one day use it against him it could force her away emotionally to, that if Osamu wanted her to keep caring she must never know. But there was another, greater need somewhere deep, deep down. Fuelled by a bizarre, incomprehensible and downright dangerous mix of emotions a great hand had emerged from his soul and it was desperately seeking something, something to grab onto and hold with a deep conviction. That something was Yue. 
“You weren’t getting crushed… what’s crushing is the guilt. The crushing, crushing guilt and fear and pain and sorrow and rage. I would not describe in vivid detail what I saw.” At this point he looked up at her, he was on the brink of tears and his eyes spoke of such concern and affection it took even him a little by surprise. The great burning furnace that rumbled away behind his eyes seemed to have been replaced by a warm, nurturing hearth fire, eager to aid and comfort. “You are so pure I fear it would taint you, hurt you. I cannot allow that. I must preserve and protect you.”
 
Looking away again, as if in shame, he shook his head. He felt cold and alone once more and very suddenly, even with Yue here. Her warm embrace, gentle tone and soulful eyes rang hollow and mocking. He wanted them, needed them so desperately it hurt and it hurt all the more right now because a voice in his head told him they were just about to abandon him and walk away, to give him a taste of what could be and then leave, rendering him even worse than before. But whilst Osamu did not overcome his shame he did start to overcome his fear. 
“You don’t know my family.” He said with a little shiver. “You don’t know the why… the why of me. To tell you all would be too long, too arduous for us both this night. Fitful nights such as this are more common than I would like, not all are the same but they are all on a theme. With layers of meaning, symbology and terrible knowledge…” His voice began to trail off again and he swallowed hard, steeling himself for the moment. He still feared she would leave but if that was the case he needed to look upon her and her tender, mild warmth whilst he still could. 
 
Looking up at her he forced himself to put a brave face on things, and empty, sad smile appeared on his face but there was some joy in simply her. “What I saw was a variation on the very beginning. A glance into my past and your future. When you know the beginning you may begin to understand much about me. With that knowledge will come something dark and twisted. I fear you will leave, and I will not see this.” He gestured to her and he lingered on her kindly face. “Anymore. Nor will you wish to look upon me.”

When he started speaking, Yue tried her hardest to calm him down, gently running her hand over his shoulders. She already felt a bit of affection for him but the contact didn’t really seem as out-of-place as it probably was. True, it really wasn’t her place. Yue found herself thinking back to how inappropriate this was – she, an engaged woman comforting another man in the middle of the night, a man who’d gone against her only a week or so prior. But that didn’t even matter to her, not even a little bit much to her surprise as she gave Osamu a reassuring smile. 
 
“Listen to me,” She spoke, placing a hand on the side of Osamu’s face. “I’m not going to leave no matter what it is, I promise you that.” The conviction was evident in her voice even as she looked on, her eyes softening once more. Osamu didn’t deserve it, not any of this. A twinge of guilt went through her at the thought of causing him his discomfort. That guilt drove her to sadden a little bit more, though she tried to smile and once again said, “I promise.” There wasn’t really anything that could drive her away at this point, unless he admitted that he’d somehow killed her entire family. And even then, she’d once forgiven a certain man for massacring over twenty Yukihiro in her presence. It was all about the intention, and Osamu’s at this point were all good and honorable, as was evident by his will to protect her from something she didn’t even know. It made her smile through her dejection, her respect for Osamu already growing. She didn’t blame people for thinking he was too ambitious and such, but it was their loss for not knowing what lay inside. And Yue liked it a lot, making her smile serenely once more. She leaned in slightly and locked eyes with him, hand still on his face. “We’ll see a lot of each other in the future, you’ll see. Don’t worry about it. Remember what I told you during our meeting? You can come to me if you want to talk about something and promised that I wouldn’t judge, nor will I judge now. Just let it out.” Her words were followed by a smile, a smile that promised everything she’d said. It did make her heart hurt even more and she inwardly berated herself for being too soft yet… it wasn’t going anywhere. As long as Osamu was still plagued by whatever he was suffering from, Yue would be there to help him out, just like he’d tried to lend a hand with her marriage issues. As much as his political side was despised, Yue would’ve bet quite a lot on the fact that if people witnessed his personal side, they’d change their minds just like how she’d changed hers that night.

In the short term Yue’s words of comfort and reassurance were the best possible thing she could have done. Osamu felt less afraid, though no less ashamed. Her voice, her tender voice carried through to him more than any other element of her gentle being. He latched onto it, that voice would be replayed in his head time and time again. In the long term Yue would likely regret her kindness though, or so Osamu thought. But that would be addressed latter. Her eyes locked on his gave him such comfort and he would not forget it. This was all a favour he was determined to return. He was not as good as her, he was irrevocably tainted or so he thought. But he would try to be as good and kind to her as he possibly could, in his own way. That could prove to be a blessing or a curse. 
 
When he spoke it seemed he had wondered radically off point. He knew what he was about to say would sound crzy even before he said it. As such he gave an empty little chuckle and looked away before locking on to her eyes once more and staring, deep, deep into them. He seemed to be searching for something when he said quietly. 
“You remind me of something I never knew.” He chuckled again slightly, aware of how that sounded but then he kept on speaking softly but slightly detached, as if his mind had partly divorced itself from proceedings as a way of protecting itself. “She was like you once, apparently. Warmth, tenderness and a near all-consuming kindness. Such a beautiful and wondrous soul. Before him. Before me.”
 
He rose up slightly, coming closer to her, their foreheads almost touching, his voice a near silent whisper but earnest and full of conviction. “You will not become like her, you shall not feel what she feels. You will not undergo what we did. You will not need to suffer one such as me.” But again, he was aware of how mad this sounded, it seemed unsettling even to him and he knew what he was referring to. Steeling himself for the inevitable he tried to make himself continue. The moment had arrived. He had wished it had never come, or at least not come so quickly. But from the moment she saw his tormented slumber it was inevitable. Her kindly nature meant she could not walk away and his gratitude and sympathy meant he could not spurn her kindness nor deny her curiosity.
 
His eyes grew slightly colder but also grew wider, as if he was staring through her and into some ghostly visage behind her eyes. 
“It is more than just your nature that reminds me of what she was. Your situations are, hauntingly similar. She was to be sold as you are.” His state did not lend itself to him putting a diplomatic spin on words, he was saying what he thought, Yue’s arranged marriage was akin to slavery. Her parents were selling a human being to be used. “She was sold, to him. But she loved another.” He chuckled again slightly, but it was menacing now, dark and slightly evil as well as slightly broken with the mental strain. Whatever was going in his head was not making the right emotional connections but his brain had been so twisted over this that it was no surprise. But he was also chuckling at the cruel fates that had put Yue into much the same position as this mysterious woman. 

While at first the pieces were scattered and made little to no sense, it suddenly became at least a little bit clearer. Yue could already guess why he’d seen her in the dream and while initially she couldn’t tell who the mystery woman was, her mind slowly connected the dots, slowly and sluggishly as if slowed down by something foreign to her. A woman who had been happy before Osamu, Osamu not wanting her to be cursed with someone like him… it was his mother, or another close relation. It made sense, though it didn’t bring any reassurance to Yue as it slowly became clearer and clearer. Her eyes stung a bit and Yue could suddenly see a way out – Osamu. But he cared so much, much more than Yue herself did as she’d given up hope a very long time ago. Seeing someone else willing to help hit something in her that made something in her chest twist and cause her as much elation as sadness. 
 
But he continued his story, still staring through her eyes at something behind. 
“She denied him. She did her duty by her family and married but she denied him the purpose of such a union. This angered him…. You do not anger him. For he will extract what he wants and he will charge you a high price for your resistance.” There was another pause as his skin grew colder, the images from his fevered dream were flashing across his eyes again now. Yue would likely detect a mixture of such negative emotions as it was a wonder he didn’t crumble then and there. “The woman respected the boundary of the hollow marriage. But her former love was still punished. He still died and he did not die well. But that was merely the interest on the payment, the capital sum still had to be paid. She was…” Osamu stopped the words jammed in his throat, he almost choked on them. He didn’t want to say them but he had to, he owed it to her and he had to say it to someone, someone. Who better than her? Who worse than her if this went wrong?
 
“Raped… again, and again, and again. The first time the head of her lover was mounted in front of her face. They say that if it happens in the confines of marriage it’s legal. Maybe. It’s still evil. It broke her soul, such a beautiful thing it was once. The wound could never heal, it was kept ripped open by the cruellest thing that could have been done to her. Crueller than anything that had yet happened. She was given an eternal reminder of the event in the place of the thing she should love most in this world and that should bring her the most joy.” He then became colder than ever, his skin was like death and eyes stared into an eternal abyss. “Nine months later the final mockery was delivered unto her. A creature made from such wickedness could never be good and pure and loved. Its skin was pale, like the dead flesh of that head in front of her eyes. It’s hair as black as the heart that had made it. Its eyes burning like hell and its nose twisted to hint at the warped nature of its creation and its soul. A trial it can never overcome. Every time she looked at it she saw that night and she saw evil no matter how hard she tried to do anything else.” Had Osamu been fully in the moment he would have been paying careful attention to Yue’s reactions as it became clear the spawn of which he spoke was none other than himself. But he was so drawn away he was barely even aware of the rest of the world. Just the cold and her eyes. 
 
“The night of the creatures conception was what I saw, constructed from accounts and the knowledge of men’s souls, the knowledge of my soul. But it was not that woman who suffered, though the full strength of emotion associated with her was felt perhaps two fold. It was you who suffered. It was you and I couldn’t stop it.” His expression changed slightly and he looked at her with tenderness and sorrow. His mind was now half gone into the images again, unsure of what was quite real and what was imagined. “I’m sorry.” He whispered ever, ever so quietly. 

By now, the stinging in her eyes had grown to such an extent that she’d had to squeeze her eyes shut, forcing the tears back. Yet, she didn’t grieve only for herself – for Osamu as well. She could very well tell it must’ve been absolutely horrendous living such a life and his unusual state of mind made more sense. Nevertheless, it only saddened her knowing he’d had to go through something like that. Of course people had their hardships but it didn’t matter, pain was pain. Inwardly, she chanted ‘Stop,’ several times, but it wasn’t because of Osamu’s words – no, it was the tears that were about to break through. It brought her back to the night it had been revealed to her but now was decidedly worse, with a double assault on her fragile emotions. 
 
At the mention of rape, however, her throat felt constricted. Yue had been denying it for the longest time but she wasn’t stupid. It was obvious; if she didn’t consent, he could force her. It was legal by all means. And knowing he had seen her in the woman’s place made it ten times worse. Yue bit back a sob, feeling the emotional strain overtake her, being infinitely more than she could handle. It was horrific and now it was playing out in her head, over and over. Just as the first tear escaped, she said, “I’ll live.” 
 
His look of tenderness made another tear follow but it only made her resume gently stroking his shoulder, trying to calm him down. “It’s alright, you have nothing to worry about.” It only amplified her sorrow yet through the entire haze of sadness and hopelessness she’d been feeling, a miniscule, tiny ray of hope emerged. He cared. Osamu cared, even when he didn’t have to. It didn’t directly concern him, but Yue would be damned if she ever let him down. Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled him into a tender embrace, mostly to mask her shaking voice as she said, “Don’t ever call yourself a creature again, u-understand? You’re not a creature, you don’t even deserve to be thought of as one. Promise me you won’t say that again. You’re not.” She repeated, though by now the third tear had fallen. She tried to regulate her shaky breaking and wiped her face with her yukata’s sleeve, not intent on Osamu seeing her cry. Yue had to be strong for him, she had to – he was the one suffering. But Yue couldn’t help it. He’d hit something most other’s didn’t even think was there, yet the mere fact that he did had made his go even higher in her eyes.

Though he was wrapped in her own emotions her sadness was not lost on him. It was so acute, even though she tried to mask it would be apparent to anyone but it was especially apparent to him. He cared about her. At first her sadness was dull and muted to him as his mind slipped away back into its dark visions. But it was so sharp and so acute to him specifically, that he could not help but feel it. Still, his reaction was delayed his mind was a jumbled mess and it would take some time for all the pieces to fall together. When she wrapped his arms around him though he instinctively reacted, rising up slightly he locked his arms around her as well and held her tight and held her close. Her comforting presence, her reassuring arms and her wavering voice that even now tried to sooth him were all welcome, appreciated and needed. At first he did not respond to her questions, he just held her close and seemed as if he would never let go.
 
Soon though her words began to filter through. Never call yourself a creature. The man had spent his whole life trying to be more than the circumstances of his birth had dictated. There were other elements at play there as well but now was not the time for that discussion. But he could never shake off the notion that there was something off about him on the inside, a thought that had been both intentionally and unintentionally reinforced by those around him. Centuries of programming were difficult to shake off, he even found it liberating in an odd kind of a way. Of course he shouldn’t have but his psyche had resorted to desperate means to preserve some kind of functioning consciousness. But here was a woman in his arms, embracing him and tearfully both begging and demanding that he no longer think of himself in such a way. He was not sure he could and this was the first time he could recall that this conception had been directly challenged. He could not just say okay and walk out of the door a new man. But equally he could not disappoint the beautiful woman before him who actually cared and deeply so. Holding her slightly closer to him he seemed to warm gently and he gently whispered. 
“I can try.” He meant that when he said that, he would try, for her. But he was a man used to fighting the rest of the world, not himself. This would be a different kind of fight but he had Yue now for that, he had Yue and he would not let that go. 
 
It pained him to see her this upset, though it was slightly gratifying and reassuring at the same time, to know someone cared enough to cry. Perhaps that was a selfish thought, a cruel one as well perhaps. But he could not help but think it. Still, he would rather see her happy and fulfilled than like this. It was at this point he had a delayed reaction to her earlier statement, something that had sailed past him at the time. The idea that she would live, that she would live through her marriage and the inevitable horror behind. This was unacceptable to Osamu. He sympathised with all women in her position, even more so since she was a figure worthy of respect and good treatment. But now, now that she had stood here and taken him into her arms despite his sinful creation, now that she had laid open her tender soul, now he would not abandon her to this fate. 
 
Rising up so he was kneeling on the bed he held her closer still to him, any pain or discomfort inherent in the action was clean forgotten, it would have been as nothing to allowing her to continue to cry. Yue had done something very dangerous today. She had gotten Osamu to care about her, deeply. This could be a magnificent reward or a terrible curse, but it wouldn’t be mild. The fire in him began to stoke and rumble once more, the great pistons of his mind slowly began to scream and wail back into life. The machine was waking! He held now again as protective and comforting of her as she was of him. He held her so close it would have been impossible to cradle her more tightly to him without causing harm. But his comfort came less from emotional consoling, though that would always be on offer, but more through assurances of hard action. Placing one hand on the back of her head he rested his forehead on hers and titled her face up slightly whispering hardly. 
“Look at me.” It was more of an order than a request. He would stay like this until she opened her eyes and he could stare into the wonder below, his own roaring eyes lending weight and conviction to what he said next. 
“You are too good, beautiful and pure to just live. You are a great and noble woman and you are far too kind and warm to be abandoned to such a fate. I will not let a soul as wondrous as yours be cast aside. I will not permit it. You do not deserve to merely live, you deserve to thrive! To find happiness and joy as yet unimagined. You deserve a husband of your choosing, when you chose. You deserve to love your children like a mother should, to bring them joy and take such joy from them as can barely be described. I will not let this world or anyone in it take that away from you. I will deliver it into your hands. There is nothing that will stop me.” When he spoke he spoke with a fire in his words, it was almost as though he was trying to intimidate her into happiness, burning away the fear and worry inside of her through his conviction and intensity, perhaps even daring the rest of the world to stop him. But his words were kind as well, if they were a fire it was a fire that would warm and nurture her but burn away anything that tried to harm her. One thing was for sure, she had been too good to him for him not to return the favour in the only way he knew. 

Osamu’s answer of “I’ll try” wasn’t entirely satisfying for Yue but she couldn’t have expected him to do a one-eighty in one night. It did somehow signify deeper psychological issue but in her current mental state Yue didn’t have neither the capacity nor willpower to deconstruct this particular issue. On top of that, it wasn’t even her business, though it did sadden her immensely that Osamu suffered like that. It struck something deep within her that inclined her to help however she could, though she didn’t believe she had the ability to do it. Nevertheless, there was always hope. And the eradication of that particular belief Osamu had of himself as a ‘creature’ would be a thing Yue would steadfastly hope for. 

His embrace, however, was far different from what she’d have assumed it to be. Outwardly, Osamu didn’t seem as the type that appreciated or initiated physical contact yet here she was, proven wrong not once but twice. It was comforting, just like hers had been, making her relax a fair bit. Suddenly she wasn’t the one in control, the stronger one who’d extended a hand for Osamu to hold on to – now, it was somewhat reversed. Though Yue could tell she was still able to provide comfort, he did so too, much to her surprise. She sighed a bit, unhappy about the fact that she’d soaked a bit of his nightgown in tears. Hardly proper conduct as his nurse, yet she didn’t entirely care at that moment. The fact that the flow of tears was being stemmed by a single hug was what she focused on. His embrace somewhat reminded her of Kouta’s and the situation was eerily similar – both times she’d first had such contact, she’d been in tears. Yet, Osamu was different. Way more unfamiliar but it provided warmth and comfort, even a little hope but Yue couldn’t be sure it wasn’t all in her head. Nevertheless, Osamu had somehow stopped her from going into a full mental breakdown, which probably would’ve emerged later that night when she was alone. 

Even at the additional contact which was far closer than she’d normally have liked, Yue didn’t find it entirely unsettling. She could feel the proximity even with her eyes closed yet she didn’t open them for several long moments despite his request. After pushing back more tears, Yue finally heeded his request and looked up at him, praying that she wouldn’t tear up again. But at his words, she did. It surprised her for it really shouldn’t have elicited such emotion but it did and Yue simply wrapped her arms around him again, speechless. 

Eventually, she found her voice again and spoke, her voice quiet and somewhat shaking. “You have no idea how much this means to me. I…” She didn’t entirely understand the severity of her actions and how inappropriate they were but it had all flown out of her mind the moment all this started. Nor did she want to think about it just yet; she could deal with the consequences when they came. The words got stuck in her throat and refused to come out, making her contribution insignificant but her actions spoke better than words ever could’ve. There, perched on the side of his bed and embracing the one man she knew would do whatever he could, Yue made the promise to herself to break him out of that psychological issue. He wasn’t a creature and would never be. “I… You – thank you. If there’s anything… come to me.” It was almost too hard to formulate proper words but she managed it, somehow, while pushing him down gently onto the bed in order to lessen the strain on his body. This did put her in an uncomfortable not to mention inappropriate position so with a little bit of reluctance, Yue let go.

Her words, her actions, her intent. They had meant everything this night. Osamu would not leave this room a changed man, that could not happen so quickly, but the process of change had begun. But Osamu had another purpose now, not his greatest one, but one he felt with a keen and almost painful intensity. He must protect her, he must deliver her the opportunity for happiness. There was no foe too mighty, no methodology forbidden, every means could be used. But Osamu would not allow himself to fail in this mission. He was a man used to working on the macro scale, he had contented himself with working for the good of thousands, millions even. He had never committed so hard to anything quite so small, so singular. Even now he found the notion strange, but extremely compelling. 
 
Osamu would rather this moment did not reach its inevitable conclusion. He wanted to remain here, like this, with Yue, for far longer. But time waited for no man and Yue may be missed elsewhere, indeed the risk of being discovered only increased as time went by. So, he reluctantly accepted the unavoidable end to all this as he was laid down gently and her warm, tender embrace slowly came to an end. He was tempted to resist, to gently hold her there, inappropriate or not he wanted to keep her close, but no. All things must end. Instead, as she pulled away he reached up and gently grabbed her hand before she could fully escape. He held it softly for a final, lingering moment, gently stroking the backs of her fingers with his thumb before finally letting go and settling back down into his bed for good. He was smiling tenderly at her, his eyes surprisingly soft. He did not speak, there was no further need for words right now. He would let her go silently. 
 
Today had been a good day after all. When Yuzuki had presented herself it seemed everything would be ruined. But instead today had turned a tremendous profit. Yue had relieved his soul as he would relieve hers. She may even prove a closer ally on the grand stage. Similarly, Yuzuki’s appreciation and gratitude had been secured and who knows, perhaps she too may soon be as close to Osamu emotionally as the graceful Yue. At the cost of a few broken bones, slightly damaged organs and one bad dream he had come away with two women he would value highly. Osamu would look at Yue for so long as she remained, committing every split second to memory. If she departed he would roll onto his side and look with concern and contentment on Yuzuki. He would stay like this until eventually sleep overtook him once more. This time, he slept silently. 

Yue couldn’t even identify the emotions running through her right at that moment, though she did try to rein them in. What had happened tonight was beyond any of her immediate comprehension yet she knew she had done the right thing by far. Though some of the details had been unsettling and worrisome, Yue didn’t care anymore. Osamu was alright, she had succeeded in her aim of calming him down. Yet it didn’t stop there. While at their initial meeting she’d sworn to keep a distance between them and had just barely considered him a ‘friend’, tonight had made a monumental difference. She’d instinctively allowed herself to be drawn closer and she’d allowed it yet now, as she stood over him with her hand in his, Yue didn’t regret it like she thought she would. The contact brought a soft, affectionate smile to her face and she wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her other hand, returning his smile. How she wished he was always like this. 

However, duty called. It was nearly time for her hourly rounds and Yue had spent majority of the time she’d have spent behind the nursing station in here with Osamu. Yet there were other patients to attend to and Yue knew that so she made her way to the drawers at the end of the room, pulling open the one labeled ‘Bed #24’. Inside was all of the medication prescribed to Osamu, the ones used prior and for the future. After careful inspection of his file, Yue pulled out a small bottle of muscle-relaxant and an empty syringe, a syringe of local anesthesia, a bottle of airway-clearing fluid and another syringe of sleeping agents. She was mildly surprised at the damage he’d sustained and the amount of medication he had, it was almost as much as Yuzuki’s. Most other patients simply had a shot of anesthesia or sleeping pills and nothing else. 

But there was more work to be done so Yue tried to get it done as quickly as possible in order to start her next rounds. She extracted the right dose out of the small bottle of muscle-relaxant and held up the bottle so that Osamu could see it, knowing how paranoid tended to be at times. “This is something that’s going to help you relax so that you can heal better, alright?” He was already sleepy so she injected him with the three syringes in the appropriate places and propped up his head a little bit so that he could drink the syrup. After she was done, Yue discarded the used equipment and turned for a final glance. A soft smile was sent his way and she left, back to inspecting the rest of the patients. Yue’s mind was everywhere all at once and unidentifiable emotions were running through her at an alarming pace, yet she knew she would rest easy tonight despite her heavy heart. What she’d witnessed tonight had been something that had brought Yue much closer to Osamu, yet she couldn’t deny the massive impact Osamu had had on her. Yet, it would be for the best, or so Yue hoped.