TOP SECRET
To all members of the Party:

My dear Comrades, our once great President has in the last few moments shown signs of weakness and possible insanity, going as far as to openly accuse me, Minister ONL of the People's Information Committee "PIC" of treason. This cannot be tolerated.

Our grand Republic is based on the sacred consumption and production of mayonnaise, and for TheyMostlyComeAtNight to introduce this new act to ban mayonnaise, is what makes him a traitor, not me!

I must remind you all that it was me who, during "The Great Mayonnaise War of 1948", who swore and oath to never surrender, to unite our people and fight the foreign invaders by all means, while President TheyMostlyComeAtNight had to be talked out of signing the peace-agreement. Again it was me who talked him to back to sense, and assuring us victory!

Therefore I must ask everyone off you to make a choice; either stand by our President's side and become the madman he has become, or join me to make this great nation what it deserves to be! I promise you that mayonnaises is and always will be our greatest gift, and I intend to protect it! Already our Comrades in the Independent Democratic Republuc of Bed has given me their support, and stand ready to fight for justice! I will protect the People's Republic of Mayonnaisia from this traitor, and serve the people! 

Victory shall be ours!

Signed yours dearly, 
ONL, Minister of the People's Information Committee.