Grand Announcement
The grotesque pitiful nation of Independent Democratic Republic of Bed has dared to show acts of defiance against our homeland.
Every citizen is to report to there local Government Homeland Military Centre and receive their Government Assault Rifle And Government Body Armour.
All Buildings to be placed into full lockdown, shutting all Government Approved shutters and mounting Government Approved High Calibre Weapons onto rooftops and balconies.
May the great EverShadow guide us from the great depths as we fight our enemy.
This message brought to you by 
Comrade Great Fuhrer , Father Of Nations, Solamelike