[quote=Dervish]
Alrighty! Shon review time!(Insert fanfare trumpet)I actually quite like this submission, and it's clear care and craft went into it, so so far so good! I do rather like that despite the troubles of his youth, he found a pretty normal and happy life in Falkreath, which I think helps establish him as a pretty well adjusted individual. The Dark Brotherhood angle was interesting, although I do have a couple things I wouldn't mind having clarified. Shamoun has an understandable interest in finding out who the Brotherhood is is quite fine and rather compelling, but why would they seek him out and offer him the ultimatum? What had he stumbled across that would make him known to them and considered a threat? He was obviously rather discrete about what happened that night they killed the carriage driver, and I don't think they'd run the risk of being discovered by someone inquiring about a poison's alchemy reagents. If you could kind of go into more of the "why" they decided to confront him, that would be great. If mean, even if it's something like he interfered with a contract unintentionally, that would be fine, or like in Skyrim, took it upon himself.You also kind of glazed over his involvement with the Dark Brotherhood, which is unfortunate given how important it is to his history. What kinds of jobs did he take, what was his relationship with the other guild members? Notable successes and failures? It would be good to know exactly what he did with them and how it came to shape him so much. I mean, the build up from him trying to find them was a lot more detailed than what he actually did for them. Also, who sent him the letter and how did they get it off in time? The Dark Brotherhood sanctuary was raided and destroyed in a sudden raid by the Praetorians. Would it not make more sense for rumour to have reached him? He couldn't have returned to the sanctuary since it was occupied afterwards by the Praetorians. I quite like that you elaborated more on the partnership Skyrim and Hammerfell entered into after the Siege of Storms, which I'm surprised you didn't mention. How was Shamoun effected by the Auroras? Was he put under its thrall and discovering a loyalty of sorts to the Emperor? Did he notice the disappearances of people in the communities he lived in during that time period? How did he feel when the spell was broken? It was a big world changing event that lead to the Empire succeeding control of Skyrim to Rogvir the Ironheart, which would have changed the politics in Skyrim quite a bit. And most importantly now is how the dwemer invasion has effected Shamoun? Keep in mind Hammerfell is completely occupied and its armies were mostly crushed with an insurgency propping up resistance against the occupiers, and most of the surviving noble families are in hiding or swearing fealty to the occupiers. If I read that last paragraph right, he's back in Skyrim again, which is where the game will end up eventually, but not for some time. He should be in Hammerfell at this point, and what's going on in Skyrim right now is kind of being kept hush hush until the group arrives. If you could clear all that up, I'd appreciate it!
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Took a few days of touch and go editing, but I hope I clarified the gaps. In all honesty, the sheer hulk of in-game and RP lore must have staggered me when referencing notable events. Apologies for that, I'm not used to making such basic slips.

Hope this is better. Let me know if you require any further edits!