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We danced. 

Heat welled up from the dancers all around me. We moved our bodies to the beat, each of us drops in an unending current of music. Faces blurred. Songs ran into other songs, each more intense than the last. It was exhilarating but relaxing all at the same time. Men and a few women would dare to dance close me and Claudette. Skin on skin, lips on lips, hands caressing. Around us other people were coupling up. It meant nothing. It was the shadow of what any being would craved. It was loving without love. But it was an escape.

[b]”I need another drink,”[/b] Claudette said and directed me back to the bar. By this time our seats were already taken and we had to stand by the edge of the dance floor as we sipped on a cool refreshment.

[b]”Hey,”[/b] I said, [b]”I was wondering, do you ever want to have children?”[/b]

Claudette looked at me over her third martini, her large fake eyelashes almost hitting the glass rim. [b]”You feel your biological clock ticking or something? Don’t worry. I’m sure the government will get your partner sorted out soon enough.”[/b]

[b]”Claudette, I’m serious. Do you?”[/b]

[b]”Sometimes I really don’t understand you, Nym.”[/b] she said, half joking, half not. [b]”I wish Lousia had tagged along tonight. She’s better at dealing with this sort of thing.”[/b] The look I gave her made it clear that she wasn’t getting off so easily. [b]”I mean, why does it matter if I want to have kids or not. You have as many as you have.”[/b]

I understood what she meant. We had both sat through reproductive anatomy. Everyone, regardless of their station in life had to take that. Restraint was built with a finite amount of resources, it was a thriving metropolis sealed inside a fish bowl. The population had to be kept in check while still maintaining a degree of genetic diversity. If the government wanted you to have two children, you had two children either by natural or artificial means if necessary. If the government deemed your genes weren’t needed, you weren’t supposed to have children. Sure, accidents happened, but most were dealt with in a hasty factor. More recently, an unplanned child was rare. I’d never understood why until tonight.

[b]”But if you could choose?”[/b]

Claudette let out an irritated sigh. [b]”You know some days, I don’t understand how you managed to score higher than me. We [i]can’t[/i] choose so why does it matter? I’ve never really thought about it. And neither should you.”[/b] She turned to walk away but I caught her by the arm.

[b]”Are you taking Vitamin 546?”[/b]

[b]”No. When I asked my doctor about it for my headaches, he told me it was only for pleabs. I don’t know why. Everyone says it works.”[/b]

[b]”Right,”[/b] I said and nodded, [b]”Well I’m going to head out. I’ll call you later.”[/b]

Claudette nodded briefly and headed back into the crowd. I didn’t know it but that would be the last time I’d see one of my best friends. Days would go by when my phone calls would go straight to voicemail. A few days later I’d find out Claudette had disappeared. Eventually they’d find her body. At her funeral, I wouldn’t be able to keep my eyes off the smug face of her recently widowed husband. This was the city of Restraint. You didn’t get what you wanted. You didn’t want what you got. Some people learned to live with this fact. Others worked to change it.